What can feminism do for men?

[manitou]

I think learning how to do it anonymously would just make things worse, manitou.

 

LOLOLOLOL

[manitou]

Here's something to store in the back of your mind: try for a great relationship (where you treat someone well), instead of getting sex. And try to be a great person to everyone you know, instead of just getting a great relationship. In order to receive, you have to give. Live a life of character...a true man isn't concerned with what he can get out of life, he's only concerned with what he does in this life; the former is a reactive or even passive way of living, but the latter is proactive and leads to fulfillment.

 

Some ideas to contemplate.

 

In other words....Be the person that you want in your life.

[GrandmasterP]

Way back when word processors came out I was down in the reception area of the college where I then taught.

Deliver guy came with a big box and asks the security dude to sign for it and where should it go to.

" What is it?" asks the security dude.

" Some sort of typewriter with a TV attached." Says the delivery guy.

" Ah then that'll be for the commercial typing class." says the security dude.

Hence subsequent deliveries of word processor kit all went to the commercial and typing faculty rather than into the college offices where they were supposed to be delivered.

The typist teachers refused to give up the kit hence for a year or so we had typists being trained on the latest electronic kit who, if they landed a job in the college offices found themselves using paper, pen and old fashioned typewriters.

And...

To bring these two themes together feminism and typewriters.

100% of the faculty and 100% of the students in 'commercial and typing' were women and nobody back then thought that there was anything wrong with that.

How times have changed, and for the better IMO.

 

Edited June 24, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[tyler zambori]

I'm thinking we all need to go to a Derailers Anonymous meeting.

 

Exactly.

[BaguaKicksAss]

I was hoping to learn more about fountain pens personally...

[tyler zambori]

Well, those would be too cute.

[Nungali]

I'd like to throw out that a fair amount of this "male socialization" involves "rewarding" this "asshole" behavior. In the absence of positive reinforcement, the behavior would not thrive.

 

And who doles out this reward? Simply, women.

 

IMO if a guy accepts that any type of interaction with a woman is a reward then he is helping perpetuate this false paradigm.

 

It is a sign of weakness ... to just go along with that if one does not believe it is just or right. I keep saying this ... but really - stand up for yourself guys !

 

What .... men are going to sell out and then blame the women for it ?

 

It is not a reward for Gods sake! It should be two people meeting equally regardless whether its conversation, dinner or sex. Dont buy into it ....

 

Even if I took your point ; " And who doles out this reward? Simply, women."

 

I could say " Well, who is silly enough to accept such a 'reward'? Simply Men."

 

Sure women have tried that on me ... they have been just as programmed as men have been ... and I have had a fair bit of anger, rejection and nasty stories spread about me, (for not 'conforming' ) but I dont care ... I just wont accept that sort of BS ... fine; 'Lover if thou wilt, depart! ' What am I supposed to do? Live in some type of relationship on the surface and deep down inside feel different and frustrated ... I know how that will turn out.

[Nungali]

There are assholes who use deception and powertrips in every gender. It is unfortunate we can't all just be forthright, honest and respectful.

 

Btw, one obvious thing that some folks may have missed is that the guys who treat women like crap always start out treating us perfectly, are really sweet, and etc. Not like they come up to women and act like a jerk at first. No they wait a few months for that (or weeks depending). Wait until the women has fallen for them, then act like their actual selves. (seen many friends fall for this; I've fallen for this). And yes of course women do it too, act all sweet and innocent, then turn into a screaming banishee after the guy has fallen for them or gotten married.

 

*Sigh*, interpersonal relationships.

 

I dont think I have a problem with that one ..... my 'inner dickhead' often comes right out from the start ... it seems to have a mind of its own

[Nungali]

I was a virgin once.

 

I met a guy who said he had never been a virgin

[Nungali]

Feminism helps men in the fact that they only have to pay half the bills now .

 

Excuse me .... what does that have to do with typewriters?

[Nungali]

That's only because you haven't met me in person.

DING!

 

First prize !

 

IT had to eventually come up didnt it

[Nungali]

What a shame they made it illegal! After I got accustomed to it I thought it was pretty neat.

 

You got accustomed to holding hands with a Korean boy and walking down the street ! ?

[Nungali]

Let there be gays world wide and allow it to be legal. It would help reduce the human population dramatically.

 

 

What about gay typewriters ? No one's talked about that yet.

[tyler zambori]

gay typewriter!

Edited June 24, 2014 by tyler zambori

[Nungali]

I think more women should feel comfortable to ask a guy out. Being turned down might be a little embarrassing, but I doubt she would have called you derogatory names if you'd politely said no. Probably good for women to understand how being turned down feels too.

 

Oh BOY! ..... Look out for that one!

 

Obviously, from my above posts (in there somewhere) it should be apparent that I dont 'jump at every opportunity' and can that upset the applecart!

 

I went to see a friends dance performance at the ever-so-trendy ( ) Byron Bay.

 

Yep, it was great! At the end their dance instructor told all the girls in the troupe to grab someone from the audience and dance with them. I didnt feel like dancing so I politely declined the advances of my potential partner. She insisted and told me not to be silly. Again I said , no thank you. She grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me up.

 

So I did a little gentle reversal on that. .... smart girls - she shrugged and grabbed an eager male. Another tried and it didnt work ... so she reported me to the teacher !

 

Now the ever so wonderful dance teacher comes over and goes "Dance with me!" ... No thanks. Well, she tried everything and got pissed, confused, angry, startled, angry again , confused again ... eventually gave up.

 

After wards she approached me again and said what a strange person I was ... why didnt I want to dance with her ! By now she was starting to annoy me so I said; " I thought it would do you good to experience a rejection."

 

That lead to a conversation, yet all the way through it she was trying to manipulate me. Even to the point of inviting me back to her place (b y now its late at night) .... I said "What for ? This is just a thing so you can get your way. What if I do come back ... you dont really want to fuck me, if I came there you would have to make some lame excuse to get out of it, or do something you dont want to do."

 

Later my friend was a bit pissed with me ; "You rejected my dance teacher! She wanted to sleep with you! Half of the men in Byron Bay would chop off a finger for that."

 

Me: "That's their problem .... actually, I dont have a problem ... other people have problems, like trying to force, persuade and cajole me into doing things I have already clearly told them I dont want to do."

 

Mmmeh ! Its been happening all my life <shrug>

[Nungali]

Here is a hint I give to guys some times; if you want to get on better with women, try being light hearted, joking, laughing and smiling.

 

Women instinctively understand (perhaps unconsciously) that when a man is smiling and laughing he is less likely to become violent and murderous .

[Nungali]

I was going to list a whole lot of things but I think ... after thinking about it ... it is best summed up by an overall statement.

 

What feminism has done for me is to (at least start or to do partially) release women from things that have been stifling their potential.

 

With people generally that is a thing i am very attracted to ... I love teaching and watching people discover and express their potentials ... I love watching and sharing that when they discover things themselves, without the teacher relationship.

 

I believe every man and every woman is a star ... each a 'genius' and any form of oppression which restricts that is a bummer in my book.

 

As far as it goes specifically with my relationships with women, its even better, because I like that stuff (as described above) and I like women ( I know a few men that 'like' women .... but dont really like them ) so its a double bonus.

 

I dont know why I like 'strong' women ... it may be a reaction against that 'weak woman' bullshit ( e.g. years back ... I go to see ex GF "You have to fix the window you broke in my front door."

 

"I dont know how to fix a window." {Bats eyelids)

 

" I mean, you have to get it fixed, you broke it, you fix it."

 

(protests her lack of 'men's skills' and how its unfair)

 

"Look! Take responsibility, get someone who knows how to fix a window to do it, pay someone, cajole your new boyfriend into doing it ... I dont care ... just get it done."

 

Another female friend had a window broken by her ex (who wasnt going to fix it) " Can you show me how to replace the glass in my window, when I get the new glass?"

 

"Sure, its pretty easy "

[Nungali]

I'm doing one more ... then I gotta get off this damn internet.

 

Watching a show on Inuit people. A group are sitting around cutting up some blubbery animal. A guy goes "Let me do that - I have a new knife." Its very sharp and he is very efficient ... one woman says to another ; "I could marry a man with a knife like that!" and they giggled

 

Another show, In Africa somewhere, tribal women are asked what man they prefer to marry;

 

An older one, more experienced, hence a good hunter and provider . He might get older quicker and get worn out, but by then I can take another husband, one of the younger men, who by then will be older and more experienced, and he can help look after the older father and first husband. So, a good hunter and provider first, next he has to care for and like his family ... the rest ,, well, that is each ones own business, what I said is the most important, the rest doesnt matter, but he shouldnt be the type of man that interferes with what I want to do ... ... yep ! We may be going backwards.

 

 

The things I want in a partner? She gotta have a damn sexy typewriter ... I know that!

Edited June 25, 2014 by Nungali

[silent thunder]

Tyler - I sincerely apologize to you for throwing you into such a quandry by mentioning a typewriter. I think what happens on these threads is that over the years many of us have become pretty good friends, and we do tend to joke around a bit. It's actually a pretty good way of keeping the threads friendly and not too anal. But serious spirituality does get discussed. It's just that sometimes it gets a little informal. We're a strange community here in Bumville.

 

And I do appreciate all the typewriter information you sent me via PM -- if you'd like to send me stuff about Xerox history I'd be happy to see that too

 

 

I laughed so hard, thank you, you folks just made my day!

 

omg that was funny... thanks!

 

 

And on one of the topics in this thread... my wife proposed to me twenty something years ago... I said yes!

 

She has her own career, which she is walking away from in two months because it's toxic.

Though I don't think she's a feminist... she's a human.

 

"Groups are grammatical fictions; only individuals exist and each individual is different." Robert Anton Wilson

[Marblehead]

You got accustomed to holding hands with a Korean boy and walking down the street ! ?

No. You didn't think I would miss this, did you?

 

But then, the Korean guys didn't like it when they saw me walking down the street holding hands with a young Korean lady.

[Marblehead]

You folks were pretty active while I was away. That's great!

[Seth Ananda]

Wow, big thread... typewriters, and god knows what else...

 

As much as I am allowed to speak for Feminism, I would like to add that Feminism can do a lot for Men.

 

The silly games that some women {not feminists} play, (maybe lots of them in some circles) are very unpopular within most feminist subgroups.

 

With time, as feminist thought gains a stronger foothold in the collective psyche, these will become far less of an issue. {as they seem to be for some people here}

 

Feminism empowers a mature understanding of femininity, and appreciates mature Masculine energy.

 

The Feminists I know are wonderful women, straight shooters, Intelligent, bold, comfortable with vulnerability, and very aware of power dynamics, which they do not run on others, or stand for from others. Lesser men are freaked out by them, cause their bullshit does not fly with these women.

 

Seeing them get called Leso sluts cause some 'alpha game' fails on them is very very sad.

 

Feminism is slowly freeing women. Free woman are far more preferable than slaves.

 

When our society changes its collective attitude enough for women to be able to feel just as safe as men ~ Everywhere They Go ~ Then Men will win, because the women we Love and care for will be safe.

 

I will love the day I feel safe with my daughter/lover/sister/mother leaving the house with the same safety that I do.

Edited June 25, 2014 by Seth Ananda

[tyler zambori]

-

Edited July 2, 2014 by tyler zambori

[Yascra]

Me: "That's their problem .... actually, I dont have a problem ... other people have problems, like trying to force, persuade and cajole me into doing things I have already clearly told them I dont want to do."

 

Mmmeh ! Its been happening all my life

Hm, not to say too much here, but, you know... as a female you would have had a serious problem in that situation, because as a female you're not necessarily strong enough to defend your "no" as soon as it comes to being grabbed. Let's be honest about it, a female body is designed in a way to make rape an option to create children. And as a female you know you don't have the physical strength to do much about it, unless you spend a relevant amount of your time with fight training and, most effective, expose your body to doping.

With a female body, in that situation in which the overall group wouldn't support you, you might well have had the option to leave the scenery. Otherwise your options would have been limited.

Edited June 25, 2014 by Yascra

[Yascra]

 

When our society changes its collective attitude enough for women to be able to feel just as safe as men ~ Everywhere They Go ~ Then Men will win, because the women we Love and care for will be safe.

 

I will love the day I feel safe with my daughter/lover/sister/mother leaving the house with the same safety that I do.

It's nice of you to think like this, but, you know.. Having a female body you're just aware that you'll loose when it should come to physical violence. And that's a knowledge you acquire as a teenager when the boys switch to "natural doping", and never really loose.

But, of course, it's positive if you know that at least most of the society will or would help and protect them.

Edited June 25, 2014 by Yascra