To grow spiritually, one has to overcome projection

[Owledge]

This is a semi-rant I guess...


Man, do I encounter people lately that are projecting heavily!

Since spiritual growth is very much about self-cultivation, projection is one of the most fundamental obstacles.

There are two views on it that I tend to consider happening:

1) Blaming others for the things you are yourself is just the plain easiest means of intellectual defense. It can indicate lack of it, and it can also indicate that someone feels cornered, overpowered, under pressure, thus can only come up with this lamest of all tactics.

2) When you feel alright and then someone starts interacting with you, pointing out your flaws, and you don't want to admit those flaws in you, then the simple escape for you is: I felt fine, then the guy appeared, now I feel uncomfortable, thus 'naturally' he is the source of that. I feel repulsed? Well, it certainly isn't me, but the feeling is there, so it has to be that other person there who is repulsive.

Projection is like the popculture version of denial and a more severe form of simple denial.

I had so much experience with people in denial that I don't think projection is unconscious. In most cases, people know very well what they're doing. Some might become very good at lying to themselves, but originally they knew it's a lie. When someone's flaw is pointed out and they feel discomfort, they know it is because the other person is right.

I do not go hunting for people like that, but fools have always underestimated me and gotten a bloody nose because they couldn't resist getting into an intellectual wrestling match. ... Which is unsurprising, since they are by definition not smart and sincere enough to admit that someone else might be smarter than they. So they attack me, then don't like the reaction, and then guess what happens: projection. They might be the one throwing the first stone and still they complain when their window gets shattered.

People can radiate certain qualities, and in my case, it seems that often my mere mostly passive presence is like an insult to certain people. I can trace this all the way back to my childhood and it has always put me off, and thus also isolated from most people around me.

My current spiritual theme is getting rid of remnants of the psycho-games that tried to tell me I am the one who is wrong or odd or unacceptable, and also to shed false modesty and self-doubt, another result of past experiences.
My problems don't seem to be mainstream, too, which I guess is natural for a minority. Pop culture keeps repeating advice for young people, about how to hone their character, and it's mostly pretty much the opposite of what I need.

I am very careful these days with my judgments when I hear from people that someone is arrogant. If the people saying that have issues (that are widespread, like inferiority complexes and such), then what they call arrogant is just the perceived difference to their own lack of self-esteem. They're agents of the mind game that tells exceptional people to be modest, so that the mediocre ones don't feel uncomfortable.

[Horus]

Ho Hi Owledge - thanks for posting.

 

"2) When you feel alright and then someone starts interacting with you, pointing out your flaws, and you don't want to admit those flaws in you, then the simple escape for you is: I felt fine, then the guy appeared, now I feel uncomfortable, thus 'naturally' he is the source of that. I feel repulsed? Well, it certainly isn't me, but the feeling is there, so it has to be that other person there who is repulsive."

 

When these kinds of scenarios arise I like to just allow the ego to burn (my own ego I mean).

 

One of the best ways to work with this scenario (in a normal waking state), I have found, is to just accept what has been said - seeing that it is a projection (which everything is really) and yet not defending (either verbally in retort or mentally in taking a given position about it).

 

I find that anytime I just allow them to say it and take no steps to defend, judge or disprove etc it has a great burn affect on my own ego self.

 

So, if someone pulls me up on something, and I feel said repulsion - I don't try to say to myself oh its them projecting. Instead I (try my best) to utilise the situation.

 

I just allow my own objections to flame if they will , and observe it (oh, that upsets you does it, huh (would be my internal dialogue).

 

I guess I try and make good use of all situations - and it someone upsets me, I accept it as much as if they make me smile.

 

In the end it's your own ego you have to take responsibility for - so I don't try to defend mine anymore (if I can catch it).

 

With this ethos it tends to be genealogical and past-life stuff that is harder to catch - and then I know I really have something to work with/detach from. I try to bring it back to self.

 

edit note - wrote "ho" instead of "hi" (maybe it was a hoo?)

Edited June 27, 2014 by Horus

[Marblehead]

Yep. That was a semi-rant.

 

Much truth in it.

 

I don't keep mirrors in my house so I never have to look at my flaws. If I can't see them they must not exist. I'm a Materialist, you know.

[GrandmasterP]

" Shed false modesty."

 

Way to go Owledge.

 

Edited June 27, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[centertime]

When there is much projection, there is no relationship because there are two blind people who talk to each other seeing all sort of things and they do not know it.

I found couple of ways to find projections

-knowing yourself, eg. reading dreams , it seems to reduce projection, as then internal things can be separated from external things. The problem is with projection when one confuses internal things (qualities, traits, subpersonalities) with external people.

-improving objectivity, the more you know your reality, then projections will stand out.

-trying to explain problems with people assuming that one projects

[Owledge]

When there is much projection, there is no relationship because there are two blind people who talk to each other seeing all sort of things and they do not know it.

I found couple of ways to find projections

-knowing yourself, eg. reading dreams , it seems to reduce projection, as then internal things can be separated from external things. The problem is with projection when one confuses internal things (qualities, traits, subpersonalities) with external people.

-improving objectivity, the more you know your reality, then projections will stand out.

-trying to explain problems with people assuming that one projects

Basically, at the root, one has to be sincerely interested in finding out the truth (about themselves), and this requires a willingness to face and confront discomfort. Social stigmas like the fear of being found wrong are doing great harm to the spiritual development of humankind. Many people, in arguments, are pretty much waging war, treating others as enemies that they have to oppose. Too much competition (fueled by society's capitalist mindset), not enough cooperation. Yin-yang imbalance. Male dominance. How things got this way is all quite clear. Improving them is a wholly different story.

[centertime]

I think it also depends on the environment, in lovely accepting environment, one may be more able to face things about himself than in heavily judging punishing environment.