How do you tolerate intolerance, accept negativity and generally cope with extremely detrimental individuals around you? How to cultivate here?

[GrandmasterP]

Given that slogan, Nike would make a great sponsor for a TTB thread.

Not the Buddhist threads on TTB though, they're more 'Ronald McDonald'.

Disney could maybe sponsor the Hermetic threads as a nod towards that old gag...

" Mickey Mouse has just opened a shop in the Mall. He's selling Hermeticism wristwatches."

And how about....

The Pit... Brought to you by Microsoft.

Edited July 16, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[silent thunder]

Given that slogan, Nike would make a great sponsor for a TTB thread.

Not the Buddhist threads on TTB though, they're more 'Ronald McDonald'.

Disney could maybe sponsor the Hermetic threads as a nod towards that old gag...

" Mickey Mouse has just opened a shop in the Mall. He's selling Hermeticism wristwatches."

And how about....

The Pit... Brought to you by Microsoft.

*deep bow*

 

booya!

[Marblehead]

You'll both be getting calls from Nike legal...

Actually, my usage of that was prior to Nike picking it up. Mine was a pick-up on the anti-drug use program with the slogan "Don't do it." I took that and modified it to use as a response to "I'll try."

 

I could sue Nike. Hehehe.

[GrandmasterP]

Our anti drugs slogan in UK education is....

" Just say No"

 

That might work thusly....

 

"Overpriced branded-logo sports wear ( made by kids for kids)?...

 

...Just say NO!"

Edited July 17, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Marblehead]

Our anti drugs slogan in UK education is....

" Just say No"

 

That might work thusly....

 

"Overpriced branded-logo sports wear ( made by kids for kids)?...

 

...Just say NO!"

Yeah, "Just say no" is pretty common here too. It might be that the "Don't do it" was a local or state-wide thing.

 

I agree with the brand name stuff. One of the reasons Wal-Mart became so popular, they sell generic products, equal quality for much less, They say more is good but paying more isn't, IMO.

[silent thunder]

I love Just Say No and Just Do It...

 

I use Just Say No for TV, junk food and shitty people...

Just Do It for all those little things I would otherwise find a reason to procrastinate on...

[Marblehead]

I love Just Say No and Just Do It...

 

I use Just Say No for TV, junk food and shitty people...

Just Do It for all those little things I would otherwise find a reason to procrastinate on...

I see you talk with yourself too. (I get in arguements all the time.)

[silent thunder]

I see you talk with yourself too. (I get in arguements all the time.)

constantly

[GrandmasterP]

When our lads were teenagers they had to have logo gear.

All the kids wore it, it was like a uniform.

Farah was all the rage at one time for them.

Farah jackets cost £40 a pop ( this was way back in the eighties and I was on about £120 a week take home wage) but a no-logo and better ( IMO) jacket could be bought for less than £10.

The Farah kit just had a fancy zip with the Farah logo enamelled onto the pull and a tiny Farah logo on the chest.

Fair play they paid for their own 'fashionable' kit from their pocket money and paper round earnings, we refused to buy them fancy logo kit.

It wasn't the principle - it was the money.

Edited July 17, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Songtsan]

Acceptance of ones own self implies acceptance of ones own intolerance towards others. Acceptance of others negativistic views towards you will build you up if true, or else harmlessly wash off of you if false.

 

Tonglen is good stuff.

 

Accept redress if it is warranted.

 

Remain silent and stay awake when intolerance hits...if it has merit, it will refine you, if it doesn't it will not blind you. If you see a reaction in yourself to a judgement, examine it fiercely and without hesitation. Surrender to change if it is in accord with the true path.

[GrandmasterP]

Bowling last Saturday we had a jolly rink until tea time.

Four on each team so lots of social chat aboutbthebgame and all sorts of other stuff.

After tea one of our chaps decided to share his sorrows by tellingnus innhory detail hownhispoor wife had passed from cancer and then onto how, a month later his brother died suddenly and in odd circumstances from a brain haemorrhage.

( He was shouting out from his bedroom window to bemused passers by in the street that was being held captive in his own house, then collapsed and died).

Now that kinda put a dampener on the concluding ends of that game and everyone except guy telling the tales came off the green just a bit gloomier than we'd gone onto it after tea.

I can see it was cathartic for our chum to share his woes but there's a time and a place.

 

Edited July 19, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Marblehead]

Yeah, I have been know to tell someone who is bitching about their world, "Don't be telling me all your troubles, I've got enough of my own."

[sunchild]

by not saying anything. there's nothing worth arguing. remaining in silence.

 

most people who are serious about cultivation or have a high level of attainment, have little contact with humans.

 

there is no such thing as negativity or positivity.

 

only the ignorant refuse to accept that their notions of ‘good & evil', 'positive & negative' pertaining to others/the world, is strictly their opinion- that their judgement is not factual, that it has more to do with their cultural conditioning/influences.

 

i find most times when someone labels someone/thing as ‘negative/evil/wrong’- it’s just a facet of themselves that they are uncomfortable with or someone/thing that they personally believe should be another way, egoistic posturing.

 

only indifference is real.

 

an awful lot of humor on this forum.

[GrandmasterP]

Ours is a hermit lineage ( Chen Xi Yi) but we're quite a sociable crew.

To some extent a retreat can deepen cultivation but only for as long as one is on retreat.

After that it's back to the 'real' world and all its issues.

Those folks who live in communiies have as many, if not more; stressors as us householders do.

It's not easy living with any group of people over time hence communities 'churn' membership with only a hard core sticking to it.

The Chinese hermits ( there are still some of those) welcome visitors and come down the montain for supplies and to take tea in the village tea shop.

By and large buddy this 'now' we're in 'now' is as good as it gets for any us; cultivation-wise.

Hence we need to make the best of it here and now rather than anticipate some utopian 'future' that'll never be anything other than imagined.

Hope that helps.

 

Edited July 19, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[silent thunder]

Ours is a hermit lineage ( Chen Xi Yi) but we're quite a sociable crew.

To some extent a retreat can deepen cultivation but only for as long as one is on retreat.

After that it's back to the 'real' world and all its issues.

Those folks who live in communiies have as many, if not more; stressors as us householders do.

It's not easy living with any group of people over time hence communities 'churn' membership with only a hard core sticking to it.

The Chinese hermits ( there are still some of those) welcome visitors and come down the montain for supplies and to take tea in the village tea shop.

By and large buddy this 'now' we're in 'now' is as good as it gets for any us; cultivation-wise.

Hence we need to make the best of it here and now rather than anticipate some utopian 'future' that'll never be anything other than imagined.

Hope that helps.

 

*deep bow*

 

Well stated! Boy that resonates with me, saving that one mate!

[Lemon_Squeezy]

Without reading past replies, I've been told that the greater the problem, the greater we need to apply compassion, wisdom, and kindness.

 

Dealing with negative individuals and situations when you really don't want to is one o the toughing things. But for me, doing the above, realising that we are all human with our own quests (whether we realise it or not), helps deal with negative situiations. That, and having friends to share it with!

[z00se]

I don't think u need to bring them out of their negativity, or even accept it, you can ignore it too, let it bypass you. You don't have to face these things straight on, thats hard work, ignore, circle around, distance yourself from them.

 

By and large buddy this 'now' we're in 'now' is as good as it gets for any us; cultivation-wise.
Hence we need to make the best of it here and now rather than anticipate some utopian 'future' that'll never be anything other than imagined.

 

Yeah i like this too. Any 'better' it may get from cultivation isn't going to last forever, you'll still have to face it again at your current or worse state again later in your life so best finding ways to triumph regardless of how good (or bad) it is now, or was, or will be.

[z00se]

When our lads were teenagers they had to have logo gear.

All the kids wore it, it was like a uniform.

Farah was all the rage at one time for them.

Farah jackets cost £40 a pop ( this was way back in the eighties and I was on about £120 a week take home wage) but a no-logo and better ( IMO) jacket could be bought for less than £10.

The Farah kit just had a fancy zip with the Farah logo enamelled onto the pull and a tiny Farah logo on the chest.

Fair play they paid for their own 'fashionable' kit from their pocket money and paper round earnings, we refused to buy them fancy logo kit.

It wasn't the principle - it was the money.

 

I don't have to have logowear but i find the decent sports brands are some of the only things that are decent quality. I can buy proper branded stuff that lasts me 3-4 years. We have so much cheapo chinese crap in Australia now it might cost $10 and be cheap to buy but it's not cheap when i need to keep buying batteries for my machine to get the balls off of my tracky pants after every wash

 

 

After tea one of our chaps decided to share his sorrows by tellingnus innhory detail hownhispoor wife had passed from cancer and then onto how, a month later his brother died suddenly and in odd circumstances from a brain haemorrhage.

( He was shouting out from his bedroom window to bemused passers by in the street that was being held captive in his own house, then collapsed and died).

Now that kinda put a dampener on the concluding ends of that game and everyone except guy telling the tales came off the green just a bit gloomier than we'd gone onto it after tea.

I can see it was cathartic for our chum to share his woes but there's a time and a place.

 

haha yes. I remember someone telling me someone in their family was a pharma drug addict, she never smiled and was always miserable. At xmas everyone in the extended family was having a great time all together, then she came in saying she didn't know why everyone was so happy, there was nothing to get excited about blah blah, and just killed the mood in an instant. Little different from your situation but yeah i think in a group setting, even if u can keep the excitement within yourself it is lost in the group and the moment is gone.

 

 

Yeah, I have been know to tell someone who is bitching about their world, "Don't be telling me all your troubles, I've got enough of my own."

 

Yeah at my work there are people if ya ask them how they are they say 'no point complaining, nobody listens', but they say it with a bit of a grin or a chuckle as if they are trying to be funny. It's not really funny but at least u know they're not really that type of miserable person that just sucks the life force out of you. Some ppl just turn everything into a downer, they like feeling like that. Sometimes when i'm in a crappy mood the last thing i want to hear is everybody around me laughing and being joyous... i am pissed off leave me alone in my misery, then it wears off and i can join the party

 

[Marblehead]

Good Peanuts cartoon.

[Rara]

I have tried turtling completely up. Which is nothing but bathing in your own ignorance. Doesnt help. Might last a few hours but then its opening up again.

 

Speaking of opening up - I truly wonder where our beloved spiritual masters have learned to open up and develop compassion. Here we are again on the top of a mountain or behind monastic doors. Can this be IT??

 

Next: Accepting. The next day I wake up or come out of a meditation I see my environment more clearly and get all the negativity straight in my face. Especially from mentioned very detrimental individuals which happen to be "family" members.

 

My intention is to work in alignment with all elements and understand underlying principles so I understand that I will not get around these feelings that I feel so heavy on myself that I could just cry at least twice a day.

 

Generally this happens that I see more and more clearly how people intoxicate themselves and say out loud that they have clear vision of circumstances/arguement, 100% believing it. Numb people who unconsciously hurt and hurt and hurt. Negative expressions became standards?! The other day in a chinese restaurant, the only other people who were in was another family who were talking about problems the entire conversation, cursing left and right. Bon appetit!

 

How do you come into a place of accepting with the unspeakable gigantique garbage dump all around? I am living in a place where we have no spiritual roots, just very shallow religious branches. Thanks again Romans and Christianity for cutting them down in the year ~300/400.

 

How on earth would one cultivate virtues here, like the very basic Healing Light of the Tao (Mantak Chia) when I have already trouble even generating love in my heart - to connect to the loving field all around me? What act it is to even feel my thymus through all this emotional mud

 

I practice and then -BAM- negativity from here and there, feeling it in my system, having to get it out again first and then being able to somewhat continue. With an already tangibly weakened spirit. Can you imagine what Work this is?

 

Not to speak of how long it takes to fully calm down again, relax every miniscule muscle to properly utilize your breath..

 

And then there would be the solution of seeing life as a comedy. But again that is just another layer of fantasy upon it. Oh how wonderfully and easy you can stroll through life when you hear said extremelly yelling father here in my neighborhood and call him just underdeveloped or "Oh look here we go again, haha!" while totally neglecting the impact of his actions on others in his family and in the surrounding neighborhood. And that is just One example of many.

 

Having seen soil turn so sour that only moss grows upon it, while years back actual grass was there? Or lichens on trees all around the house, rotting the trees slowly? Welcome to our garden. But hey at least family members shoo away woodpecker who "harm" the trees. God...

 

Every conversation with said "family" members on how to improve their thought patterns and actions is instantly understood as assault. And how often do I come to a point where I say to myself "Why even further care? Just let it all happen as it flows.. parents living a detrimental lifestyle, neighbors abusing their kids" - Welcome to the 21st century of living in a community, not caring for the community. Ohh only when its about positivity, when something negative comes up We shut our eyes ears and mouth!

 

What mad pit I am in here..

 

Are you sensitive enough how much trouble the earth currently has? What else is there before a call out for a mass wipe?

 

Asking from a livingspace on the country side in an outskirts of a larger "family" community.. not in a city. Is cultivating impossible these days in a general human environment?

 

I'm a bit late to the party...here goes...

 

I know exactly what you're saying. Going through the exact same thing with a certain someone. It's been better the last 7 days though...this is because I switched off my reactions.

 

We only know certain ways to react because of the way we've been brought up. Our surroundings and the way we've grown as individuals determines who we are today...and often, genetically we end up being hardly any different to our friends, and even families.

 

Social surroundings: Memes.

 

Ever noticed how societies, let's take "the hood" or "estates" as they are called here in England. Stereotypically, they have the same way of dealing with their problems - violence, perhaps stealing. But these reactions seem to ripple through the whole society. "If he cheats on me, then I'll cheat on him" is a mentality I've just seen among a certain crowd. It's the "done thing".

 

Did they ever think to consider their options on how to deal with the conflict? I met one who decided to go to university...just found a way out along with funding. She disturbed the pattern, and broke out and became...well...happy!

 

Now, I don't know your background, so I'm not making any assumptions at all. The above could be miles from your situation. But one thing this all has in common: conflict.

 

Conflict is the issue here, and dealing with it. But there is no right or wrong...only from your perspective. So don't be worried how you handle this - nor what people will think. You seem to be judging yourself more than anything! Throw caution to the wind and try something new...perhaps the opposite to what you would normally do. See how you get on.

[Rara]

PS You can't change people. It's a shame, but you have to let them get on with it. I learned this recently

 

Have a read...it might help: http://thetaobums.com/topic/35286-the-sage-not-acting-for-reward/

[Rara]

Just to elaborate on my first post...I don't think it was direct enough...

 

The conflict is you disagreeing with the way the world is - especially your immediate surroundings. You criticize the way the families talk to each other/behave etc etc. And they don't want to hear the nonsense that you speak of...just like you don't want to hear their nonsense!

 

You might be 100% right - you might be more "moral" - but the mentality of getting beat up by the negativity around you doesn't say too much for the way you are! But we have the opportunity to put our money where our mouths are.

 

Meditating is one thing. Moving out/away and going to work to help make the world a better place is another.

Edited July 21, 2014 by Rara

[Songtsan]

PS You can't change people. It's a shame, but you have to let them get on with it. I learned this recently

 

Have a read...it might help: http://thetaobums.com/topic/35286-the-sage-not-acting-for-reward/

 

you can...but it is often slow unless they are open to it...Slow matriculation...planted seeds at opportune moments, being at one with the sea of energy, knowing without knowing, sages move in this way

[Rara]

 

you can...but it is often slow unless they are open to it...Slow matriculation...planted seeds at opportune moments, being at one with the sea of energy, knowing without knowing, sages move in this way

Thanks...I was fishing for this in my other thread! I always thought this too - that the outside influences us enough to mould us in the first place.

 

But chipping away gently, rather than lecturing.

[Songtsan]

Thanks...I was fishing for this in my other thread! I always thought this too - that the outside influences us enough to mould us in the first place.

 

But chipping away gently, rather than lecturing.

 

Also, in non-doing, changes are made, without intending to change. Acting in accord with the Tao is always in a positive direction. Holding no intent, one has no mind fabrications, one simply does as the music demands. Seamlessly integrated with the Tao, there are no seams or lines that divide self/other. Therefore there is no one to change, yet change occurs regardless.