Introduction from a fellow seeker

[FraterUFA]

 

Edited July 10, 2015 by FraterUFA

[soaring crane]

Hello FraterUFA, and welcome to the forums!

 

Please take the time to read the two posts pinned at the top of this Welcome page and take a look at the forum terms and rules http://thetaobums.co...um-terms-rules/ This covers all you need to know when getting started.

 

For the first week you will be restricted to five posts per day but after that you can post as much as you like.

 

That was a very impressive introductory post, thank you so much

 

Good luck in your pursuits and best wishes to you,

 

SC and the TTB team

[Chang]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

 

I am sure that you will find much to interest you here.

 

Good luck and best wishes,

 

Chang

[Aetherous]

Welcome, and good luck finding what you seek.

[BaguaKicksAss]

Ave brothers & sisters,

 

I have been following this forum on-and-off for some years now and have finally decided to register so that I may ask some questions. Here's a bit about myself:

 

I have been studying western esotericism / Hermeticism for about 20 years. Primarily Alchemy, but of course all of those other related subjects which one finds thrown into the mix: Qabalah, Tarot, Astrology, and so on. I think that I can keep an open mind but I am skeptical of the real value most of these practices have to offer the seeker. Qabalah - and particularly gematria - with all of its abstruse theories, I find particularly futile. My appreciation of Tarot has deepened over the years as I have come to find many mysteries buried in its symbolism. Astrology in particular I became quite adept at and yet in the end, I find its best value is as a psychological tool.

 

For 10 of those years I was involved in two western mystery schools and had achieved a modest grade in one of them (Practicus/3=8 although this really doesn't mean much). Eventually, I became disillusioned with the overly intellectual nature of these studies and put them on hold to pursue more mundane goals (career, family, etc). In the process, I became a much more well-rounded individual, achieved a great deal of outer success, and matured as a person. I have never truly turned my back on the teachings but always knew that I wanted to return to them later with a more substantial base to work from, if that makes any sense.

 

My mystical achievements are modest but there was one experience I had in my 20s which puts the pale to the rest of my life. After a difficult breakup, I experienced a temporary implosion of the psyche, as if the "reality" of this world had been struck into thousands of pieces. To put words to the vision (which does no justice to the actual experience), it was as if my inner world was a sphere of stained glass that had suddenly all shattered, and clear white light was coming through the cracks. I plunged into depression for a day or two, and then suddenly, in a manner of seconds, the purest light poured through my heart. All of my silly search for "meaning" now made no sense, for I was pure meaning. Pure love, without subject or object, was pouring through me. For the next day, I could hear people's thoughts simply by focusing on them. I could sense the clouds of emotion hanging over people. Despite the pure joy and peace in my heart, the pain I felt emanating from others was unbearable. The experience lifted a day later but it happened again to me again several years later.

 

I had other experiences which proved to me that we live far beyond our earthly years, but this experience was much deeper than that. For a brief moment of time I had no attachment to "me". For there was no death, nor life, just an eternal presence that always was and will be, and I was blessed to be aware of that.

 

Fast forward to 2014. Earlier this year, I visited the Capuchin crypt in Rome. In this crypt, there are rooms which are decorated with the bones of the monks who lived there. In one room among their dusty remains sits a sign which reads:

 

“What you are now, we once were; what we are now, you shall be.”

 

The sign shook me to my core. I shrugged it off but over the following months, I resumed my studies. I do not fear death. I fear dying before having achieved significant spiritual progress in this physical body. What a waste of a precious opportunity this would be!

 

The sense of urgency is again burning bright in me, brothers. I began to look through my old materials and found little to soothe the soul. But among the papers was an old mimeographed copy of Paul Foster Case's Section C which had been secretly shared with me many years ago (I later found it has been published and is now freely available along with Sections A, B, and D). I resumed these exercises and things began to happen. The smallest amount of the fog which has been covering my everyday life was beginning to lift.

 

I asked for guidance in my search and revisited many old teachings (and some new ones). Many I could tell immediately were of little value to me. Others, such as Samael Aun Weor's teachings, contained deep truths that resonated within me, but clearly he was quite a disturbed individual and I believe their school is corrupt. I delved into the teachings of the Buddha, the Taoists, and went back to my dearest, most incomprehensible source of wisdom: the alchemists.

 

I am afraid that in all my years of study, that today I am but a little less ignorant of important matters than I was then. Yes, my head is filled with facts but take away the facts and not much remains. But Divine Mother/Sister/Lover has been coming to me in my sleep almost every night and helping me as much as I am able.

 

And so despite my ignorance, I find that I can now understand two of the emblems from Atalanta Fugiens. And as I went back and reviewed the writings of Paul Foster Case on alchemy, I came to the conclusion that he did not apparently seem to possess much practical knowledge on the subject (other than a few random nuggets as far as I can tell).

 

I know that alchemy hides a great truth within it and I study and pray every day for more light. I've come here hoping that I can find some, friends.

 

May peace and attainment be yours.

 

Frater U.F.A.

 

Hey .

 

a. Read Agrippa

b. Reading/learning is nearly irrelevant, it is only about the actual doing, daily

c. Perform Abramelin

d. Golden Dawn doesn't go very deep in the outer grades, imy/ymmv (Agrippa is better anyways )

e. We have a Hermetic and occult section on here btw...

[FraterUFA]

Thank you for the response, friend. Agrippa and that path is not for me. I seem to be doing better with the direct approach :-)

[Anoesjka]

I am afraid that in all my years of study, that today I am but a little less ignorant of important matters than I was then. Yes, my head is filled with facts but take away the facts and not much remains. But Divine Mother/Sister/Lover has been coming to me in my sleep almost every night and helping me as much as I am able.

 

And so despite my ignorance, I find that I can now understand two of the emblems from Atalanta Fugiens. And as I went back and reviewed the writings of Paul Foster Case on alchemy, I came to the conclusion that he did not apparently seem to possess much practical knowledge on the subject (other than a few random nuggets as far as I can tell).

 

I know that alchemy hides a great truth within it and I study and pray every day for more light. I've come here hoping that I can find some, friends.

 

May peace and attainment be yours.

 

Frater U.F.A.

 

I know about the nightly guidance, I've been receiving it too. Of course it's no woman in my case. That's alchemy, my friend. And the light you talked about, may well have been from outside our sphere, to awaken the seed in your heart and let the new soul be born.

 

I've had a light twice, it shone from inside my head. At first I thought it was someone awakening me with a torch shining in my face, but it came from behind my eyes.

 

As we travel on our path that may very well have many similarities, we receive guidance and understanding. Nice to have you here.

[FraterUFA]