Tao of Buttercup Posted July 27, 2014 I've had a couple similar experiences on a much milder scale: I'm a huge fan of John McLaughlin (guitarist) and I once sent him an email describing my respect and admiration for his music and discussing a variety of things with no expectations whatsoever. He returned my email and was very friendly and supportive - we communicated back and forth (he's a big fan of Chan poetry), he invited me to a concert - it was a blast. I once had the opportunity to hang out with Michael Jackson for a week, yup that one... We were teens staying at the same hotel in Miami. We were the same age and neither of us had anyone else to hang out with. I was a big fan of his at the time (~'73) and had an absolute blast! Enjoy Cool! Thanks for sharing that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aetherous Posted July 27, 2014 If Clive were straight, I'd feel guilty. But he's not, and nothing can ever come of this, so I don't feel guilty. Yeah, it's probably not a huge deal...but marriages do split up sometimes over outside emotional relationships (the type of relationships where you say "nothing could ever come of it" but where you are in a deep and fond communication). All judgment aside, that's a reality to think about. Just because nothing could come of it, I do not think that makes it 100% right...if you care about attempting to be 100% right. I'm sure your husband prefers these types of crush-feelings aimed at him alone (as unrealistic as that seems, these days), rather than being thought of as being part of something which is "vanilla" and "boring". 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tao of Buttercup Posted July 27, 2014 Yeah, it's probably not a huge deal...but marriages do split up sometimes over outside emotional relationships (the type of relationships where you say "nothing could ever come of it" but where you are in a deep and fond communication). All judgment aside, that's a reality to think about. Just because nothing could come of it, I do not think that makes it 100% right...if you care about attempting to be 100% right. I'm sure your husband prefers these types of crush-feelings aimed at him alone (as unrealistic as that seems, these days), rather than being thought of as being part of something which is "vanilla" and "boring". Quite a bit of this is being very socially isolated (many factors involved), which seems irreversible despite my best efforts. It'd be great, having some real "one-on-one" time with Clive; talking about projects and plans, being directly influenced by him. But that can likely never be. It's sometimes difficult dealing with these "spillover" emotions. The student wants to be in the presence of the Master, after all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrandmasterP Posted July 27, 2014 (edited) They do indeed but the best teachers coach their students away from that desire and towards independence. Bad gurus groom dependency. Edited July 27, 2014 by GrandmasterP 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tao of Buttercup Posted July 27, 2014 They do indeed but the best teachers coach their students away from that desire and towards independence. Bad gurus groom dependency. Then Clive is definitely the former, as I've not gotten a message from him in about two weeks. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gendao Posted July 31, 2014 Not enough of an age difference. And I dislike your implications. I had a very good father, and don't need a substitute anyway. Not due to age. I was just questioning why you are choosing unavailable love (he's a gay celeb and you're already married). Oftentimes, that could be because a parent was emotionally unavailable...or you fear intimacy...or other reasons. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
