Meditation harm?

[Rara]

Wow.

 

So I decided to stop "formally" meditating a couple of months ago and spend more time outside of work being out and about and generally doing things. This meant more time to practice my kung fu, see friends etc etc and generally, I've been feeling pretty good. I enjoy nothing more than occupying my time with useful things

 

But I started to feel a bit mindless, stubborn and angry in the past week. Only in small bursts, but I saw the signs early.

 

This morning, I sat down and decided to meditate for 30 minutes. Now I feel like absolute crap...the session just opened up a load of negative stuff in my mind and now I'm just totally overwhelmed by a mash of scatty thoughts. I feel exhausted and I've only been awake for 3 hours!

 

I feel demotivated, and upset as well. The thing is, I couldn't tell you what I feel upset about...I just fancy curling up in a ball, hugging a pillow and watching a film.

 

Anyway, gotta get to work, so no film, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any opinions on what is going on here.

[idiot_stimpy]

See it as a good sign. Your greatest progress is made through hardships. Its a great chance to purify any tendencies that have so far been laying dormant within you.

[Seeker of Wisdom]

The mind is full of crap. When it's under the surface we don't notice it. Then meditation stirs it up and we think "blimey! That wasn't there before."

 

Do we want to face up to this stuff, or just leave it under the rug?

 

You're doing well.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Seeker of Tao

[GrandmasterP]

Perfectly natural.

It's like working out or cycling.

Do them everyday and you're fine.

Leave off for a while then start back and you feel like shit for ages until you get back to fitness.

Stick at it bro .

Observe the negative feelings as what they are ( temporary and passing) acknowledge them, let them go; and return to your breathing.

Two weeks tops and you'll be 'match fit' again.

Lesson learnt?

Cultivate every single day.

When you 'feel' like it isn't working don't give up cos that's when it really IS working.

Baduanjin will serve you well.

Ten minutes every morning on arising and you'll soon be sorted.

There's a 'how to' photo set in that link in my sig.

All best wishes to you for every success.

Edited August 6, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[idiot_stimpy]

In my experience the Buddhist Bardo teachings are a great way to transform negatively perceived things as it happens.

[Rara]

Thanks guys. I've been here before, so considering I've had a great two months without it, I thought that was the progress...so I was shocked to feel like I had gone backwards. I thought I was past this stage!

 

I will take this as a positive then...another lesson learned, correct

[Rara]

Not that I actually went backwards. What I mean is that I didn't realise all my crap was there...I thought I was dealing ok.

 

The only issue is that this morning, it made me really sad and cranky, so my girlfriend had to deal with "cold, distracted Rara", which made me feel even worse. Does anyone have any remedies?lol

[Tibetan_Ice]

Rara, what kind of meditation do you do?

[C T]

Thanks guys. I've been here before, so considering I've had a great two months without it, I thought that was the progress...so I was shocked to feel like I had gone backwards. I thought I was past this stage!

 

I will take this as a positive then...another lesson learned, correct

That was merely the conditioned aspect of your self that is trying to lure you into some sense of false security. Trust me, we are never ever past sliding back. Even the gods are prone to it so what more us mere mortals. Important thing to keep in mind is not to beat yourself up over the head with that invisible stick again each time you stumble. Look on the good side, at least now you know where and when this sort of displacement happens. This goes a long way in the cultivation of wisdom.

[BaguaKicksAss]

Not that I actually went backwards. What I mean is that I didn't realise all my crap was there...I thought I was dealing ok.

 

The only issue is that this morning, it made me really sad and cranky, so my girlfriend had to deal with "cold, distracted Rara", which made me feel even worse. Does anyone have any remedies?lol

 

Yes, yes, ....keep going .

[idiot_stimpy]

....so I was shocked to feel like I had gone backwards.

 

 

 

Actually it can be a sign of going forwards.

[BaguaKicksAss]

Has anyone else had the experience that looking back at your path and progress over the years, you realize that the times you thought you were doing really well, were the times you were making the least progress, and many of the times you thought you were not doing very well you were actually making the most progress? Not always of course, but it does seem to be more prevalent than not. I've seen this happen with some other folks too.

[Andrei]

It's like saying "I took a shower after two months, I felt great all these months without washing but I start itching my skin and now I wonder why the water is so dirty".

[GrandmasterP]

Yep.

Apart from the seniors who are really 'faithful' at keeping it up - we churn cultivators because folk get bored and stop coming.

I don't think that will ever alter because there is just so much nowadays for people to do.

If they get bored with one pastime there are hundreds more out there for them and all easy to get to.

It IS bleddy boring sometimes but those boring times tend, to me anyhoo; to be the most productive as far as results go.

That sheer 'grind' of doing it when you can't almost be ersed to do it.

Having cultivated 'against all odds' - that's a real buzz for sure.

Those athletes who want to do well are down the gym every day seven days a week come what may

It's no different with cultivation, if it isn't 'done' then it can't 'work'.

Edited August 6, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Stosh]

Why is it that one ' slides back' ?

[GrandmasterP]

Boredom maybe.

Backsliding is a sticky term though.

It comes with baggage from Evangelical Christianity via the Temperance movement.

Edited August 6, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[3bob]

that is why the most basic spiritual aspects are always needed as the default in state of being, because when the basics are solidly hard wired in one can't hardly slip any lower... without first destroying such wiring (so to speak) for themselves whereas if such basics were never really hard wired in in the first place then it's far easier to slide to a lesser state.

 

Btw CT my take is that the point of no return is the point of never sliding back, but most of us turn back from the point of no return being that such a payment is final and without refund.

Edited August 6, 2014 by 3bob

[idiot_stimpy]

Why is it that one ' slides back' ?

 

 

I'm not sure if there can ever be an answer to that. However I think its important to consider that no matter how bad it may seem, the minds innate purity is available to everyone equally right now. The Buddhists call it, Buddha nature.

[Rara]

Rara, what kind of meditation do you do?

Mindfulness/breath and visualisation. Filling the heart and dan tien with qi...

[Rara]

It's like saying "I took a shower after two months, I felt great all these months without washing but I start itching my skin and now I wonder why the water is so dirty".

Haha, good analogy!

[Rara]

Yep.

Apart from the seniors who are really 'faithful' at keeping it up - we churn cultivators because folk get bored and stop coming.

I don't think that will ever alter because there is just so much nowadays for people to do.

If they get bored with one pastime there are hundreds more out there for them and all easy to get to.

It IS bleddy boring sometimes but those boring times tend, to me anyhoo; to be the most productive as far as results go.

That sheer 'grind' of doing it when you can't almost be ersed to do it.

Having cultivated 'against all odds' - that's a real buzz for sure.

Those athletes who want to do well are down the gym every day seven days a week come what may

It's no different with cultivation, if it isn't 'done' then it can't 'work'.

That's actually why I spent more time with Wing Chun because that was slipping. Haha, now it's my singing.

 

You're right, so much there on offer,so little time. Having to earn money sucks. How nice it would be to just meditate, do martial arts, see friends and play music. That's enough to fill a day. Then repeat to complete the week!

[ChiDragon]

Mindfulness/breath and visualisation. Filling the heart and dan tien with qi...

 

You should concentrate on your breathing as in a Taoist meditation and forget about the mindfulness and visualization for now.

[Rara]

Why is it that one ' slides back' ?

Do you mean habitually like GMP answered or are you asking why it actually happens when practice ceases? As in, why don't we just stay there?

 

I would say because the outside world is pulling us back, as opposed to us sliding...and if we're not careful, we'll go with it.

[Rara]

 

You should concentrate on your breathing as in a Taoist meditation and forget about the mindfulness and visualization for now.

Ah, this just made me remember, I need to watch that Wudang vid!

 

The way I see it, visualisation and mindfulness are incorporated within Taoist meditations...

[Rara]

that is why the most basic spiritual aspects are always needed as the default in state of being, because when the basics are solidly hard wired in one can't hardly slip any lower... without first destroying such wiring (so to speak) for themselves whereas if such basics were never really hard wired in in the first place then it's far easier to slide to a lesser state.

 

Btw CT my take is that the point of no return is the point of never sliding back, but most of us turn back from the point of no return being that such a payment is final and without refund.

Nice post...could you please elaborate on you last paragraph? I didn't quite grasp...