Frequently having wet dreams, really need your advice

[moodlover]

Hello friends, I really need your help.

 

I have suffered from porn addiction for the past decade since I was a little boy and only just now at the age of 24 have I realized how the excessive porn-masturbation-orgasm cycle was killing my health, my spirit, my mind, my body, everything. Since giving it up 30 days ago, my moods have never been better and I've become so much more proactive with meditation, cooking, exercising, learning how to paint, become healthy and desire to develop relations and help people. I feel like a new man, I will never go back to my old ways and have no desire to. However...

 

In those 30 days alone, I have experienced 7 wet dreams, about 1-2 per week (usually happens when I accidentally wake up in the morning then go right back to sleep). It leaves me feeling drained and depressed, and I know this is my body reacting to an abrupt halt of excessive masturbation. I am not here to find "balance" of when to masturbate and when not to, I want to give it up for good so I can do better things with my time - I realize now that so much of my illness is from spilling all my energy out. My body never really had a chance to be heal since ive been indulging in my addiction since as long as I remember.

 

I could really use some advice, tips, techniques and anything else on how I may overcome wet dreams. I realized eating spicy foods (which I have given up) makes me more lustful and likely to have one at night. So does eating at night, or waking up in the morning and going back to sleep. Thank you for your help.

Edited October 7, 2014 by moodlover

[Michael Sternbach]

I would say, go easy on yourself and don't worry. It's best that you trust your body and psyche and give them time to adjust to the altered situation. Things will eventually find their proper new balance all by themselves.

Edited October 5, 2014 by Michael Sternbach

[C T]

It sounds as if you're going cold turkey... if you are, surely there'd be some rebounds attached. Its like applying emergency brakes - you can imagine what that entails.

 

Somewhere in your words a bit of panic is detected. Not helpful. Look at the situation clearly and set realistic practice goals, then get to work. Once the results begin to manifest, take pride in your perseverance, celebrate the new-found discipline - you will then naturally experience more confidence which in turn will help to pacify the agitations that trigger the anxieties. This relaxed attitude will seep into the subtler aspects of your bodymind which then sets in motion the necessary mechanism to nudge the 'problem', to extend it a gentle invitation to resolve itself. This invitation is important because its an empowering tool. Without it the fear of failure will follow you like a shadow. You invite the resolution, then it will come. If you don't invite it, well, the outcome will be obvious then.

[Protector]

Enjoy?

[moodlover]

I would say, go easy on yourself and don't worry. It's best that you trust your body and psyche and give them time to adjust to the altered situation. Things will eventually find their proper new balance all by themselves.

 

I hope you are right, it has only been a month free of my addiction after a decade of indulging so I will have to bank on time and prayer to heal me.

 

It sounds as if you're going cold turkey... if you are, surely there'd be some rebounds attached. Its like applying emergency brakes - you can imagine what that entails.

 

Somewhere in your words a bit of panic is detected. Not helpful. Look at the situation clearly and set realistic practice goals, then get to work. Once the results begin to manifest, take pride in your perseverance, celebrate the new-found discipline - you will then naturally experience more confidence which in turn will help to pacify the agitations that trigger the anxieties. This relaxed attitude will seep into the subtler aspects of your bodymind which then sets in motion the necessary mechanism to nudge the 'problem', to extend it a gentle invitation to resolve itself. This invitation is important because its an empowering tool. Without it the fear of failure will follow you like a shadow. You invite the resolution, then it will come. If you don't invite it, well, the outcome will be obvious then.

 

Yes I am going cold turkey, what did you mean by "realistic practice goals"? I am confused about what I am practicing here and what work is to be done. Thank you!

 

Enjoy?

 

...what?

[C T]

Yes I am going cold turkey, what did you mean by "realistic practice goals"? I am confused about what I am practicing here and what work is to be done. Thank you!

Abstinence/retention is a practice, or some would even say, its a way of being... a way of living. There are different motivations in different individuals, and also, different paths through which these motivations align with, so there is a necessity to first develop clarity as to what sort of individual you are, what are your ideals & motivations in relation to integrating such a profound practice into your life, and the spiritual tradition from which you intend to draw support from. Once the guidelines are in place, you will know what are the correct methods and relevant disciplines needed in order to reach your goal. Then there will be no confusion.

[bax44]

I've found meditating before bed helps even if for only like ten min.. Although I think during long retention streaks some wet dreams are inevitable. Don't beat yourself up over them for the most part you've no control over it. Actually may be signs your brains trying to heal itself. I feel much less drained after wet dreams than I do if I abuse myself in front of porn for hours. One is healthy, the other is not. Hope that helps.

[soaring crane]

The one time I got into something like retention practice, one wet dream meant having to start over from the beginning. The goal was the standard 100 days (and involved some practices that made it virtually impossible to acheive) and if an accidental discharge occurred on the 95th day ... it was back to day one.

 

I didn't succeed, and now think the whole approach is unnatural and unnecessary.

 

To the OP -- you're going from one extreme to another. That's generally a bad idea. There is no sperm in your blood, central nervous system, or brain. And there's not supposed to be, either. Sperm is in your testes, and then it's out of your body, it's pretty simple and is true for every species of animal that reproduces with sperm/egg.

 

There are hormones associated with your sexual drive, however, and you're taking measures guaranteed to throw them into a crisis. My suggestion is to stop the obsession, get a nice girlfriend (or boyfriend, or whatever), enjoy sex and develop a healthy relationship with your body (and mind).

[Seeker of Wisdom]

The real problem is your addiction to porn. You can choose to stop that - you can't choose whether or not to have wet dreams, and wet dreams are harmless, so don't worry about those.