DreamBliss Posted October 26, 2014 The title says it all. I am about to sign up for an online dating service. My prerequisites are: 1. There have to be a lot of females from around my location (USA Oregon and Washington.) 2. It has to be free to search profiles and to contact people or be contacted by them.. I have narrowed down my search to: OKCupid PlentyofFish SpiritualClick SpiritDating Zoosk Any advice? Based on your own personal experience, do you recommend or not recommend any of these sites? If so which one(s) and why? Are there any other sites you recommend? If so which one(s) and why? I would really like a thriving, spiritually-minded dating pool of single women, but I am not so sure such a thing exists, especially in my area. But I have to do something other than sit here like a lump. Put myself out there. Please note! While I am sure there are amazing women in China, India, Mexico or some small island 100 miles off the cost of Australia, I am not interested in this thing called a "long-distance relationship." I am looking for a physical person I can date or hang out with, should she choose to meet me. Although I suppose if one of these females outside the US was rich enough to send a private helicopter or plane to pick me up I could be convinced to go out with them... I appreciate your help with this. The last time I tried online dating I think I picked the wrong site, and I probably didn't have the right attitude. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) ... Edited March 5, 2015 by Flolfolil 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) I appreciate your feedback, but what else can I do? Waiting around will accomplish nothing, I know because I have done this for over half my life. 40 is coming like a freight train! There is no place for me to go to meet women in my area. No way to get there either as I live 2.5 miles from town. Obviously bar hopping won't work from a spiritual standpoint either, even if I had a bar to hop to and a better way to get there than hopping There are no eligible females or socially acceptable females to my age range to approach in my parent's church, and even if there was the last thing I need is another Christian in my life. So as far as I can see, from my limited perspective, is that the action part (which we all have to take for any prayer) is to sign up at an online dating site. Hope for an actual physical meeting of someone, which is why I am sticking with my area. Unless someone has a better suggestion? Because sitting around praying for a mate won't bring one to my door. This isn't Mary Poppins where prayed for people float down from the sky. All siting and waiting does is create more sitting and waiting. There has to be a stepping out in faith action of some sort on my part, So what else can I do? Edited October 27, 2014 by DreamBliss 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
woodcarver Posted October 27, 2014 I've actually seen a lot of great relationships come from dating sites. Just sign up for them all? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted October 27, 2014 Don't over think it. Find a service that doesn't over promise, over charge, seems well rounded and will get you a few dates a month. Then concentrate on the art of looking good, witty conversation and picking good spots (coffee shops, bars, parks, movies, even cultural stuff). They're all skills that takes practice, don't give up, its a numbers game. The right person is out there. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) ... Edited March 5, 2015 by Flolfolil 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idiot_stimpy Posted October 27, 2014 I say give it up. Give up the need or desire to find someone. I have come to accept the fact that I may be single forever. I am ok with this now, and if life gives me the opportunity to find someone later then so be it. But I'm not going to spend time worrying about something when its precluding me from being happy. Sometimes I have found, what we wish for is not actually what is good for us. A simple wish sent out and then forgotten can do wonders though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) ... Edited March 5, 2015 by Flolfolil 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idiot_stimpy Posted October 27, 2014 i cannot approve of this sentence more, its a spell with near 99% accuracy ime The problem is, how do you know what you wish for is going to make your life better. Whats the point of finding a girlfriend if it causes you more suffering. From my experience, not wanting anything and being completely happy with what you have seems to be the path of least resistance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
woodcarver Posted October 27, 2014 Stimpy speaks the truth Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GreytoWhite Posted October 27, 2014 Sorry man, lost a huge OKCupid tips post I typed up by accidentally using the refresh shortcut instead of the new tab key combo. PM me, I'll get to it in the morning. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted October 27, 2014 Good Lord ! It is turning into a dating advice site Ralis .... HAAAALP ! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted October 27, 2014 Good Lord ! It is turning into a dating advice site Ralis .... HAAAALP ! I know all I need to know about dating. First and foremost, never , ever go in for the kiss! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) I say give it up. Give up the need or desire to find someone. I have come to accept the fact that I may be single forever. I am ok with this now, and if life gives me the opportunity to find someone later then so be it. But I'm not going to spend time worrying about something when its precluding me from being happy. Sometimes I have found, what we wish for is not actually what is good for us. A simple wish sent out and then forgotten can do wonders though. I have to admire your fortitude... Is that the right word? I don't know what word I want... That said, I figuratively and literally would rather die than be single the rest of my life. If I ever knew for a certainty, or even a likelihood, that I would never be with anyone, or that it was bad for me, I would terminate my physical existence immediately. I will either share my life with someone or I will stop living. No exceptions. Edited October 27, 2014 by DreamBliss 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted October 27, 2014 The problem is, how do you know what you wish for is going to make your life better. Whats the point of finding a girlfriend if it causes you more suffering. From my experience, not wanting anything and being completely happy with what you have seems to be the path of least resistance. That's right. It's also the path of least fun. Good Lord ! It is turning into a dating advice site Ralis .... HAAAALP ! I suggest renaming this website. How about "The Tao Bumps"? I know all I need to know about dating. First and foremost, never , ever go in for the kiss! What's worse is to ask: "Is it alright if I kiss you?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted October 27, 2014 Talking about bar hopping etc.: I met all the females I ever cared for in places where there was music resounding and alcohol flowing. The one I'm married with I met in a disco while dancing. I have no experience with dating websites but it might be worth trying for you. I have heard of some positive outcomes. But whatever you do, I recommend that you visualize exactly what you want once or twice a day as vividly as you can, then let it go. You will then either take the right action at the right moment, or what you wish will in fact "drop from the sky." (Such as a female parachutist landing in your garden. Or a sexy woman from outer space. ) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idiot_stimpy Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) . What I wrote got messed up and deleted in my editing. Maybe nobody was meant to see it so I won't retype it. Edited October 27, 2014 by idiot_stimpy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaguaKicksAss Posted October 27, 2014 i am sure you will get this response from many others, but don't bother with dating sites. from an energy-minded perspective, its extremely hard to make a connection or feel someone out through internet conversation I personally have no trouble getting a feel for folks through their profile photos. I've even had fun helping a friend out in this way, fun as in see how accurate I was about each. He didn't beleive me about one having anger problems until she screamed at him on their first date ROFL. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaguaKicksAss Posted October 27, 2014 The title says it all. I am about to sign up for an online dating service. My prerequisites are: 1. There have to be a lot of females from around my location (USA Oregon and Washington.) 2. It has to be free to search profiles and to contact people or be contacted by them.. I have narrowed down my search to: OKCupid PlentyofFish SpiritualClick SpiritDating Zoosk Any advice? Based on your own personal experience, do you recommend or not recommend any of these sites? If so which one(s) and why? Are there any other sites you recommend? If so which one(s) and why? I would really like a thriving, spiritually-minded dating pool of single women, but I am not so sure such a thing exists, especially in my area. But I have to do something other than sit here like a lump. Put myself out there. Please note! While I am sure there are amazing women in China, India, Mexico or some small island 100 miles off the cost of Australia, I am not interested in this thing called a "long-distance relationship." I am looking for a physical person I can date or hang out with, should she choose to meet me. Although I suppose if one of these females outside the US was rich enough to send a private helicopter or plane to pick me up I could be convinced to go out with them... I appreciate your help with this. The last time I tried online dating I think I picked the wrong site, and I probably didn't have the right attitude. From my own experience and reports from my friends, OK Cupid's folks are less messed up than PoF. Also they tend to match better. Less people on there than PoF though. Dating sites work sometimes. I ended up dating someone for a year off of one, and a friend of mine has been dating someone for about a year and a half now. There's also mingle and speed dating meetup groups. Also meetup groups of various interests, so you can meet someone you have at least something in common with. My advice about dating sites is to be honest about your interests. No one follows that though; no one talks about their spiritual and energetic practices in their profile (accept me lol). How you can expect to meet someone on a similar spiritual path when you are hiding it is beyond me, but anyways... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) ... Edited March 5, 2015 by Flolfolil 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaguaKicksAss Posted October 27, 2014 Sorry man, lost a huge OKCupid tips post I typed up by accidentally using the refresh shortcut instead of the new tab key combo. PM me, I'll get to it in the morning. cntrl+ Z key works a lot of the time to get a post back. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idiot_stimpy Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) 37 The Tao never does anything, yet through it all things are done. If powerful men and women could center themselves in it, the whole world would be transformed by itself, in its natural rhythms. People would be content with their simple, everyday lives, in harmony, and free of desire. When there is no desire, all things are at peace. Edited October 27, 2014 by idiot_stimpy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soaring crane Posted October 27, 2014 Want to meet nice, like-minded women? Become a Qigong instructor. I guess Yoga would work as well. :-) PS -- this is in a section of the forum titled "Off Topic", and a perfectly appropriate topic for discussion. It's TTB tradition to help each other with personal issues, and that's a good thing! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) Talking about bar hopping etc.: I met all the females I ever cared for in places where there was music resounding and alcohol flowing. The one I'm married with I met in a disco while dancing. I have no experience with dating websites but it might be worth trying for you. I have heard of some positive outcomes. But whatever you do, I recommend that you visualize exactly what you want once or twice a day as vividly as you can, then let it go. You will then either take the right action at the right moment, or what you wish will in fact "drop from the sky." (Such as a female parachutist landing in your garden. Or a sexy woman from outer space. ) Thank you, I needed that. A dark cloud was forming that your words dispelled. BTW I dig alien chicks. As long as they are physically compatible, I'm all for it! Edited October 27, 2014 by DreamBliss 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) What I wrote got messed up and deleted in my editing. Maybe nobody was meant to see it so I won't retype it. If you feel compelled to say something, say it. If not, don't. If you can make a practice of saying whatever you have to say lovingly, do so. If not, just be authentic and honest. Edited October 27, 2014 by DreamBliss Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
