DreamBliss gears up for dating... HELP!

[DreamBliss]

My advice about dating sites is to be honest about your interests. No one follows that though; no one talks about their spiritual and energetic practices in their profile (accept me lol). How you can expect to meet someone on a similar spiritual path when you are hiding it is beyond me, but anyways...

 

I will be following this advice. I had already made that intention. I will be authentic, honest and in-your-face. What kind of results that will net me are anyone's guess.

[DreamBliss]

i have gotten a lot of laughs ever since you told me about POF bka

 

a couple weeks ago a guy messaged me to say he was attracted to me but only if i shaved all my hair off

 

That's just... Wrong...

[DreamBliss]

 

37

When there is no desire,

all things are at peace.

 

To have life is to desire,

To have no desires is to have no life,

"When there is no desire,

all things are at peace."

Because all things are dead!

 

A lion can have no desire to hunt for food,

Just laying there, stretched out in the sun,

Until it starves to death...

[idiot_stimpy]

A lion can have no desire to hunt for food,

Just laying there, stretched out in the sun,

Until it starves to death...

 

You can still act without desire. When you act in this manner you are perfectly balanced, wu wei.

 

 

 

In the Tao te Ching, Laozi explains that beings (or phenomena) that are wholly in harmony with the Tao behave in a completely natural, uncontrived way. The goal of spiritual practice for the human being is, according to Laozi, the attainment of this purely natural way of behaving, as when the planets revolve around the sun. The planets effortlessly do this revolving without any sort of control, force, or attempt to revolve themselves, instead engaging in effortless and spontaneous movement.

Edited October 27, 2014 by idiot_stimpy

[DreamBliss]

If I act with no desire, what reason have I to act at all?

 

In other words... How can I go on a date if I have no desire to date? What brought me to date in the first place? If I have no desire to date, why would I date?

 

Desire is the fuel of biological imperative that runs the engine of life.

Edited October 27, 2014 by DreamBliss

[C T]

I think the appropriate consideration would be to learn how to act naturally, spontaneously, without being slave to your desires. Eat when hungry, sleep when tired, that sort of way. Some people, being slave to unconscious habits, eat when they are tired, and sleep when they are hungry. No wonder they feel so fragmented all the time.

[i am]

I have to admire your fortitude... Is that the right word? I don't know what word I want...

 

That said, I figuratively and literally would rather die than be single the rest of my life. If I ever knew for a certainty, or even a likelihood, that I would never be with anyone, or that it was bad for me, I would terminate my physical existence immediately.

 

I will either share my life with someone or I will stop living. No exceptions.

 

Am I the only one seriously concerned about this post?

 

In all honesty, I think you should see someone like a psychiatrist, before you enter the dating scene. I can't imagine any healthy relationship beginning with someone who feels this way. I can't imagine anyone who feels this way being emotionally healthy.

 

I can understand the desire to share your life with someone, even a very very strong desire. But I absolutely don't think it's healthy to have a thought in your mind like the last one in the quoted post.

 

And please god don't ever mention this to the person you're dating, if you still feel this way when you do start dating. That's equivalent to telling someone "I'll kill myself if you leave me". That's a lot of pressure, don't you think? It's very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone who would rather be dead than alone.

Edited October 27, 2014 by i am

[i am]

If I act with no desire, what reason have I to act at all?

 

In other words... How can I go on a date if I have no desire to date? What brought me to date in the first place? If I have no desire to date, why would I date?

 

Desire is the fuel of biological imperative that runs the engine of life.

 

Not that I'm any expert, but I think you should continue to study the Tao. There are many ideas in it which are seemingly contradictory to being a human living on earth. The more you learn, act, and experience - the more you start to understand that they are not contradictory. They're instead the essence to living a spiritual life on earth.

 

Alternatively, I might suggest reading things from Paulo Coehlo for a while, maybe, instead of the strictly eastern-based philosophies. If you can handle that he has outgrown Christianity, yet doesn't renounce or bad mouth it, you might get more out of it than some of the other paths on this forum. He's a guy who, rather than renouncing his faith, transcended it. And his ideas are much more obviously worldly in their spirituality. Sometimes the Tao can feel pretty abstract, until you start understanding it.

Edited October 27, 2014 by i am

[i am]

Sorry for the barrage of posts...but you really have me worried.

 

I think that the essence of what I'm saying, and what some other people are saying, is that first you need to be right with yourself. Then you can find someone and begin a healthy relationship. When you're right with yourself, things fall into place.

 

Your attitude towards your future is not healthy. If you bring that attitude into the dating scene, you may luck out, but there's a better chance you won't do well.

 

Learn to be happy with yourself. After that, you'll be able to be happy with someone else. If not finding a mate is a reason to end your life, then something is out balance within you. You should address that before you start dating.

 

I honestly believe that, based on what you've posted here, you should talk to someone trained in some form of psychiatry. Then go out and find someone to share your life with.

[idiot_stimpy]

Dreambliss we are trying to help you

[BaguaKicksAss]

i have gotten a lot of laughs ever since you told me about POF bka

 

a couple weeks ago a guy messaged me to say he was attracted to me but only if i shaved all my hair off

 

Trying to change someone they haven't even met yet, bad sign ROFL and also ROFL.

 

I would have replied back with I am only attracted to you, but only if we put duct tape over your mouth....

 

(still working on that kindness to others bit lololololol)

[manitou]

I think if I had it to do over again, I'd focus on getting involved in groups that appeal to my interests, and meeting like minded people. But on the other hand if you're out in the middle of nowhere, maybe the thing to do would be move in to more population so your choices would be expanded. If I were to do a dating site, I'd probably do anything but Christian Mingle.com

[BaguaKicksAss]

One easy way to meet folks of similar/same spiritual interests is to wear a pendant with a related image. Works wonders. I have met a LOT of folks this way, even in very small towns, actually especially in small towns .

[Michael Sternbach]

Well, to some of us, having sexual relationships is not all that important. To others, it's central to their life - having that mate in their life being second only to breathing, drinking and eating. I understand that well.

 

It's all about the longing for that missing half of ours - ever since human beings were split in two (so says Plato... I don't take this literally but I think that metaphysically there is a lot of truth to it).

 

DreamBliss, I take your somewhat strong statement primarily as a counter-reaction to Idiot Stimpy's equally radical claim. As in fact you're ready to take steps towards finding your mate. You simply asks us for our advice how to go about it. Hey, that's what friends are for! You're heading in the right direction.

 

Personally, I have deep confidence in your ability to find somebody to have a beautiful relationship with. I know that there are loads of attractive females out there who are less than satisfied with all those superficial and materialistic males making fun of their crystal pendants and who wish for a relationship with such a creative and spiritual man like you. (Glanced at your Youtube videos, also.) Finding one who really suits you might take some time and trying; and even having found one, possibly it's not gonna be all just cherry pie. Quite often, our partners not least serve as our mirrors, in which we see the qualities that we are longing for in ourselves - call it the missing half of our soul, the Anima (or Animus in a woman), Moon and Venus in the horoscope chart (Sun and Mars in a woman's chart). Ideally, they will help us develop that part of us by the magnificent Alchemy that is called Love, thus becoming more complete in ourselves. If you are like me, you need that kind of mirror.

 

If you need any help, any time, let us know. The Tao Bums are always here for you. Feel free to PM me also, if you like.

 

Best wishes

Michael

Edited October 27, 2014 by Michael Sternbach

[DreamBliss]

Am I the only one seriously concerned about this post?

 

In all honesty, I think you should see someone like a psychiatrist, before you enter the dating scene. I can't imagine any healthy relationship beginning with someone who feels this way. I can't imagine anyone who feels this way being emotionally healthy.

 

I can understand the desire to share your life with someone, even a very very strong desire. But I absolutely don't think it's healthy to have a thought in your mind like the last one in the quoted post.

 

And please god don't ever mention this to the person you're dating, if you still feel this way when you do start dating. That's equivalent to telling someone "I'll kill myself if you leave me". That's a lot of pressure, don't you think? It's very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone who would rather be dead than alone.

 

I have very strong feelings here, true. But I would never put that sort of pressure on a relationship. As you don't know me, you do not know why I have such strong feelings. As its is very personal, I am not sharing it. I will only say that I have been alone for well over 20 years, and enough is enough.

[DreamBliss]

One easy way to meet folks of similar/same spiritual interests is to wear a pendant with a related image. Works wonders. I have met a LOT of folks this way, even in very small towns, actually especially in small towns .

 

What kind of pendant does a former Christian who is against fundamentalism, institutionalized religion and repression wear? A fancy cross in a circle with a diagonal line through it?

[i am]

I understand. Or let's just say, I understand that I don't know you and can't pass judgement.

 

I hold to the principles of my posts, though. It's never healthy when someone is talking about ending their life, except maybe when they have an imminently lethal, painful medical condition.

 

I wish the best for you, and I hope you find what you're looking for!

[DreamBliss]

I sincerely apologize t anyone disconcerted, stressed out or worried about what I said. I can not justify that statement. But it is not my intention to cause harm. I am being authentic and honest about my feelings. I apologize if that concerns anyone.

 

I wanted to add, for the record, that I am not looking to the femal to complete me. I know that is not the way. I am simply looking for someone to share my life and physical body with. Looking for someone to share things with, talk to. Looking for a physical presence whose path has converged with mine for a time.

 

I do not know how to do it, but I intend to love her completely but loosely. So that if our paths part, we can go our separate ways, and instead of each of us focusing on what we have lost, we can leave loving each other and appreciating the time we had together. I think something stronger than a marriage contract should keep two people together, for as long as it is flowing and natural for them to be together.

 

I know not to identify myself, make a part of my identity, the person I am with. It may be another chapter in my story. But I should not make boyfriend, lover, father a part of my identity, thinking that these are who I am. I have learned this lesson when I left my former faith.

[Taomeow]

One easy way to meet folks of similar/same spiritual interests is to wear a pendant with a related image. Works wonders. I have met a LOT of folks this way, even in very small towns, actually especially in small towns .

 

You're definitely onto something.

[BaguaKicksAss]

What kind of pendant does a former Christian who is against fundamentalism, institutionalized religion and repression wear? A fancy cross in a circle with a diagonal line through it?

 

LOL that would be an AWESOME pendant! I should make some, they would sell very well . You would at least get humor points for such a pendant if you wore it.

 

Wherever your interests lay presently, not in the past.

[manitou]

 

What kind of pendant does a former Christian who is against fundamentalism, institutionalized religion and repression wear? A fancy cross in a circle with a diagonal line through it?

 

Boy, are you in the right place, lol

[DreamBliss]

LOL that would be an AWESOME pendant! I should make some, they would sell very well . You would at least get humor points for such a pendant if you wore it.

 

Wherever your interests lay presently, not in the past.

 

If you make one send me some pictures because I might buy one, should I have the funds manifested for it.

[thelerner]

What kind of pendant does a former Christian who is against fundamentalism, institutionalized religion and repression wear?

hmnn, I'm thinking simple pentagram . kidding, I think.

 

You want to be yourself, but you also want to play it cool. Not appear too needy or dependent. While I'm not a fan of the aggressive gamesmanship many PUA schools advocate, some of them have sound strategies for confidence and getting closer, faster. They include respect and are about the long game. Might be worthwhile seeing if there are youtubes with intelligent respectful pointers.

[manitou]

I'm being serious here. Get a really cute dog. A great icebreaker.

[GreytoWhite]

I'm being serious here. Get a really cute dog. A great icebreaker.

 

Totally! My dog has allowed me to talk to so many women.