idiot_stimpy Posted October 28, 2014 I'm being serious here. Get a really cute dog. A great icebreaker. Dogs shouldn't he used to gain other things then discarded when they're not useful anymore too. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
i am Posted October 28, 2014 Hopefully people understand this without being told... Â But yeah. I've actually talked a few friends out of getting a dog when they were considering it. Look at your life...how much free time do you have? How often do you go out of town? Dogs are pack animals and sentient beings. Their entire life quality depends on you and what you do for them. If that life is laying around locked in the house or alone in the backyard while you're at work, then you head out for other stuff after work without them, they have a very very dull, boring, lonely existence. Â But back on topic... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) I need to go back through this and see what everyone recommended... Â A bit of an update... I joined OKCupid but am not happy with it. I can not search by body type preference without a free membership, which normally wouldn't be a problem, but all of a sudden, as of a few days ago, all I am seeing in Quick Match are, in my opinion, physically undesirable females. I am also seeing men in there, and I have specified that I am only interested in women. Â I have filled out my profile correctly, answered over 200 of their questions. I have a bunch of women in my like list I will contact, but after that, if I am not in communication with someone, I am deleting my account. I have sent out probably a dozen or more messages, very polite, showing I read the profile of the person I was contacting. I have received 2 responses, both rejections. Which I guess is actually a good thing, as some guys don't even get a response! Â Any recommendations of free online dating sites that allow contact without a paid membership, and which allow you to search by body type, again without a paid membership? Â Here is my page, for anyone interested: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/BlissWriter Edited April 17, 2015 by DreamBliss Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 Or a sexy woman from outer space. ) Â You really are determined to hook me up with an alien aren't you? Well as long as she is reasonably attractive naked and has a tail I have no objections. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) I understand. Or let's just say, I understand that I don't know you and can't pass judgement.  I hold to the principles of my posts, though. It's never healthy when someone is talking about ending their life, except maybe when they have an imminently lethal, painful medical condition.  I wish the best for you, and I hope you find what you're looking for!  One thing I want to point out here is that it is my life. My physical existence. If anyone has a right to decide when to terminate it, that would be me. Nobody else. I fail to see how that could be unhealthy. I would think it more insane to let others decide when you will live or die!  You seem to be to attached to this concept, belief or idea that physical existence has some sort of value. That it is somehow sacred and should not be interfered with. In other words, that I should leave it to the experts or God.  It is true that if I were to kill myself simply because I knew I would be alone all my life I would be motivated by fear, not love. But that would be the only reason not to take that course of action. Not because physical life has any value at all.  Remember when we die only our bodies die. Whoever, whatever we are inside that physical form lives on. Nobody can ever be really killed at all! Death is just the physical body ceasing to function.  Do you mourn your car when it refuses to start one morning? Do you give it a funeral service and bury it in the ground? The very idea is preposterous! So why the concern over the physical body's death?  Does the caterpillar mourn the death of its body, as it emerges from its cocoon and takes its first flight? Hell no! So why would you mourn the death of your body as you spread your own wings and take flight?  Death of the physical is freedom of the energetic from the physical. Edited April 17, 2015 by DreamBliss Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taomeow Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) . Edited April 17, 2015 by Taomeow 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liminal_luke Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Having a romantic life-partner can be a wonderful thing, and I´d encourage anyone who wants one to take steps to find that special somebody, including online dating.  That said, I think it can be useful not to narrow down one´s focus too quickly on that particular brand of love.  There are so many ways to be, and feel, connected -- to ourselves, to the larger community, to the universe as a whole.  Especially when a person is lonely, and yearning for a lover, embracing the smaller, but still significant, intimacies of life can help ease the pain.   Some suggestions...  Cultivate connection with oneself through all the practices people talk about here on taobums.  Breathing, meditation, smiling.  Perhaps something explicitly relational like Metta. Also journaling, artmaking, anything creative.  Also, communing with the artistic work of others.  Great literature and poetry.  Paintings.  Feeling the kinship with others through shared understanding.   Commune with nature, especially trees.  Work on relationships with friends and family.   Appreciate all the little opportunities to reach out to people you might not even know.  A friendly hello at the grocery chair. Waving to a neighbor.  I get that none of these things can replace that one partner that so many of us look for.  And I´m not saying to stop looking. Not at all.  Just that until you find that person, appreciating the broader possibilities of connection can provide a kind of lifeline that will get you through.  Liminal Edited April 17, 2015 by liminal_luke 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 . Â Now I am curious... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Commune with nature, especially trees.  Liminal  I am already being and doing much of what you gave suggested. For me it is continuing to work on myself, doing yoga, the occasional meditation while listening to nature or just stepping outside on the concrete pad where I exercise and looking up at the stars.  That said I am afraid a tree is simply not a substitute for the physical form of someone of the opposite sex...  That idea gives a whole new meaning to being a tree-hugger... Edited April 17, 2015 by DreamBliss 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liminal_luke Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Oh I dunno.  As a single person the idea of finding solace in a tree seems laughable, I suppose.  But I´ll bet there´s more than a few married people who find a nice oak more companionable than their spouse.  Liminal Edited April 17, 2015 by liminal_luke 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Why the fascination with body type ?  That could be really holding you back.  When you meet a woman, are you checking out her body type ?  Maybe they can detect that.  If I was a woman, I would be insulted by that.  If I was a woman with a great body ..... I would be indignant.  If I was a woman with a great body ..... and I liked you, I would be flattered .  Have fun with that.  [ Have you ever thought about just running out into a field and getting sucked up into a tornado  .... and ending up somewhere else .... a bit more 'interesting' ? ]  afterthought ....   you seem bored with your lifestyle, live with your parents (and one of their parents ), apparently live far from town and dont have transport to get anywhere, the town sounds a little boring ....... ummmm dude, if you do get a date ... where are you going to go and what are you going to do ?  Have you actually thought this through properly ?  What are you going to offer ?  )Or are you hoping for a woman with a 'good body type'  and a nice car  ( nothing earlier than 2005 thanks  )  ? Edited April 17, 2015 by Nungali 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted April 17, 2015 I need to go back through this and see what everyone recommended... I just went through the entire thread to make sure I hadn't given you any advice. Having been married and divorced three times pretty much disqualifies me from giving advice on how to keep a woman. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Aha!  There is your problem!  Keeping a woman you say  ?  MY problem has been  getting the hint across that it is ' time to go' .  (of course, if I would have wanted them to stay .....    ) Edited April 17, 2015 by Nungali 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Oh I dunno.  As a single person the idea of finding solace in a tree seems laughable, I suppose.  But I´ll bet there´s more than a few married people who find a nice oak more companionable than their spouse.  Liminal  ROFL!  May I never be so terrible that the one I am sharing my life with would prefer the company of an oak tree...  If I ever get that bad I deserve to be alone! Edited April 17, 2015 by DreamBliss 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 I just went through the entire thread to make sure I hadn't given you any advice. Having been married and divorced three times pretty much disqualifies me from giving advice on how to keep a woman.  Do you have any oak trees in your yard? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Aha!  There is your problem!  Keeping a woman you say  ?  MY problem has been  getting the hint across that it is ' time to go' .  (of course, if I would have wanted them to stay .....    )  I think in this case keeping might be synonymous with maintaining.... Sort of like adopting a dog...  Nungali Are you saying you are something like a Venus flytrap when it comes to the opposite sex? Edited April 17, 2015 by DreamBliss 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted April 17, 2015 Nungali knew I would have to reply to this... Why the fascination with body type ? That could be really holding you back.When you meet a woman, are you checking out her body type ? Maybe they can detect that.  When I am finally facing a naked female she must be able to arouse little DreamBliss from his slumber. Certain body types are simply incapable of doing that... If I was a woman, I would be insulted by that.If I was a woman with a great body ..... I would be indignant.If I was a woman with a great body ..... and I liked you, I would be flattered. If I women detects or is insulted by this preference of mine, maybe they could at least acknowledge that I am being honest. If a woman with a great body is indignant about it, maybe she should gain a hundred pounds or so and tell me how it feels when no guy wants to look at her. If a woman with a great body is flattered by it, well that was not my intention. I may compliment, but I do not intend to flatter. In any case she has a great body precisely because she wants men to be attracted to it. Have fun with that. I am having fun with this. I am listening to Kelly Clarkson's latest album and laughing my ass off!  [ Have you ever thought about just running out into a field and getting sucked up into a tornado .... and ending up somewhere else .... a bit more 'interesting' ? ] Yes  afterthought .... you seem bored with your lifestyle, live with your parents (and one of their parents ), apparently live far from town and dont have transport to get anywhere, the town sounds a little boring ....... ummmm dude, if you do get a date ... where are you going to go and what are you going to do ? Yes, I have given thought to this. There is this wonderful invention called the bus and the public transportation system...Where we will go is wherever she wants to go, ditto for what we will do. Although if she wants me to take her somewhere, or plan something, I will.  Have you actually thought this through properly ? What are you going to offer ? )Or are you hoping for a woman with a 'good body type' and a nice car ( nothing earlier than 2005 thanks ) ? Love and romance does not require planning or thinking. I am not playing a chess match, even though it nay feel like it at times... And even though certain guys call the process of netting a female gaming....I have no preference as to the age, make or model of the car... I won't be physically intimate with it after all... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted April 17, 2015 Do you have any oak trees in your yard? No. I cut down all the trees too. Then put fish ponds in the back and gardens in the front. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted April 18, 2015 You really are determined to hook me up with an alien aren't you? Well as long as she is reasonably attractive naked and has a tail I have no objections. Â Sorta rare on OKCupid, this combo, I have heard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liminal_luke Posted April 18, 2015 (edited)  If a woman with a great body is flattered by it, well that was not my intention. I may compliment, but I do not intend to flatter. In any case she has a great body precisely because she wants men to be attracted to it.   I don´t mean to be nitpicky, but I´d question the truth of that last sentence.  In many cases, sure...but it´s hardly universal.  There are lots of reasons why a woman might want, or just happen to have, a great body besides a desire to attract men.   Liminal Edited April 18, 2015 by liminal_luke 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted April 18, 2015 I think in this case keeping might be synonymous with maintaining.... Sort of like adopting a dog...  Well, one was a dog .... ummmm  .... errrm  , I better clear that up hadn't  I ?  Born in the year of the dog, but seriously, very dog like; leaves her  hair all over the place, follows you around ( she w=even followed me outside once and I had to say " I am going for a piss, do you want to come with me for that too ? "      Maintaining ?  Nah !  I am an individualist.  Love women's lib ! You wanna new flash car darlin' - you go out and work for it !  Same with bling !  Although 'little presents ' can be fun ,  but not ones that need to be 'maintained' .... (the more I say that, the weirder it sounds ....  maybe if I was still having a relationship with one of these:     Now there is a great shape !    Nungali Are you saying you are something like a Venus flytrap when it comes to the opposite sex?  No, I would not  say that.  I think women have been more attracted by my Neptunian / Mercurial nature and my Cancerian traits ( massage, exotic cooking, etc ) .  It might have been their Venusian natures that were attracted, but I am wary of Venus energy; unless it is well placed, it goes off quickly ... and its a rare bird that can deal with its delights and not get icked in the 'trap' of it.  Flytrap ?  Sounds like when you zip up carelessly and .....    If you mean, have I had a lot of relations with women and / or lots of  sex  .....  enough to be satisfied if I never have another.  1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted April 18, 2015 Nungali knew I would have to reply to this...  Oh sure man!  I can play you like a bongo drum !       When I am finally facing a naked female she must be able to arouse little DreamBliss from his slumber.   O h   m y   G  O  D  !        If I women detects or is insulted by this preference of mine, maybe they could at least acknowledge that I am being honest.  Oh dear oh dear !  Look ... before you even think of having sex with a woman, you have to learn how to use and control the equipment ...  Its one of the main complaints I hear from them about other men ....  1) They cant seem to help projecting their reactions or lack of them onto or because of the woman  2) They are focused on their own pleasure and in a rush, both pre and during.  3) They cant just intuitively tune in to what is 'supposed' to be happening  at any given moment (which may wildly fluctuate from one moment to the next - that's Venus for ya ! )  4) The dont seem to know how to use their own equipment 'properly'.  Of course, doing the opposite of all this will make you popular.  I know what you are thinking ... but it starts way before that, on the verbal level ... OHHHH   they can tell alright !  JUst even by the way you dance .... they can tell ALLL of that!  (Apparently   )     If a woman with a great body is indignant about it, maybe she should gain a hundred pounds or so and tell me how it feels when no guy wants to look at her.  You say the strangest things at time .... dont say stuff like that out on a date will you ?   They will instantly be able to detect how self - referentially you perceive everything else .     No guy will want to look at her  ... wtf?   If a woman with a great body is flattered by it, well that was not my intention. I may compliment, but I do not intend to flatter. In any case she has a great body precisely because she wants men to be attracted to it.  Is that so ?  Gosh , cant wait to tell my fantastically built lesbian friend about that  one !  There is the self-referential opinion again - very narrow, a woman will detect that.       I am having fun with this. I am listening to Kelly Clarkson's latest album and laughing my ass off!   Yes   Yes, I have given thought to this. There is this wonderful invention called the bus and the public transportation system...  I thought you were saying it was hard to get to town  ? ... so, catch the bus to town.  Better still, just ride around on the school bus, check out the mums that drop their kids off .... in my experience, once they do that, they have about 40 mins to cut lose        Where we will go is wherever she wants to go, ditto for what we will do. Although if she wants me to take her somewhere, or plan something, I will.   Love and romance does not require planning or thinking. I am not playing a chess match, even though it nay feel like it at times... And even though certain guys call the process of netting a female gaming....  I have no preference as to the age, make or model of the car... I won't be physically intimate with it after all...    By this stage you are are probably expecting me to ask why the law of attraction has not delivered said desirable woman ?   2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mYTHmAKER Posted April 18, 2015 I just went through the entire thread to make sure I hadn't given you any advice. Having been married and divorced three times pretty much disqualifies me from giving advice on how to keep a woman. Ah but you know how to attract a woman so you might give him advice on that aspect 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted April 18, 2015 How do we know Marblehead didnt get lured in by a 'venus fly trap '    ..... 3  times . . . .   Things do come in threes they say  (you would think after some 'rajas' and some 'tamas he would get a bit of 'sattva'   Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted April 18, 2015 Ah but you know how to attract a woman so you might give him advice on that aspect The first lesson would be to learn to say "Yes, Dear." spontaneously. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
