Nikolai1 Posted May 5, 2015 There is no similarity between you Nungali and Dreambliss because you worked, were independent and therefore able to follow your heart. Dreambliss cannot follow his basic heart's need for a mate because he has zero independence. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 5, 2015 We know ..... ,,, thats why, and in other threads previous to this, I keep urging him to break out, seek individuation ... break the cycle ... Independence is quickly got by jumping in the river . (do you know the story ? ) from 1;16 (ignore the title - no one is a jerk here ) Ya gotta start somehow . 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted May 5, 2015 Michael Sternbach ! That is the most outrageously violent reactive suggestion as to how to deal with me I have ever read anywhere on the all the forums I have been on .... tut tut ! However I will put it down to your 'poor ' understanding of English terms and familiarity with internet forum lingo DFP ; The next level is a TFP ( but hard to achieve by oneself ... it is usually achieved by consensus ) ; next in intensity is Oh I see... "Face palm" is describing an act of auto-aggression! I am shocked that you think I would use violence against this cute innocent little guy Truly shocked ! Good to hear that you seem to have a heart for animals. I was afraid you might intend to hollow this guy out, stuff him and exhibit him as a trophy between the kangaroo and the croco. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted May 5, 2015 Michael, I will save the martial arts moves for when Nungali gets out of line, or when BES finally looses her patience with me and throws a desk at me for a DeskPlant. Although in the case of a thrown desk I don't think it will do much good... No... Run and seek cover while she is loading! Thank you for your advice and continuing support. For the official record, "We cool!" "We cool, man!" - Of course! All Else, Again thank you for your advice and viewpoints. I find myself stuck in a rock and a hard place. In order to have the sort of relationship I want, I have to conform. I have to look a certain way, I have to have a 9-5 job, I have to live a certain way... I have to change myself into something other than I am to suit them. But I have to be who I am to allow my purpose to unfold. I have to honor how I feel about changing myself to conform to society. Among many other things I do not agree with the idea that I have to work some 9-5 job, that this is the only way to have money and provide for myself and someday, a family. I for one never said that. Partially because I wouldn't want that kind of job myself. However, for having fun with your girlfriend, you will need a certain amount, so if the 9-5 job is not for you, I suggest you get creative and do your own business thingie. I have said it many times before... My dad worked at Safeway for 30+ years before retiring. I know what all these years of work earned him. I know that part of it has to do with his mindset about money. I know the societal model of getting educated and working until retirement has nothing to do with why we are here, having a physical experience. It is the human race's idea of how things should be (@ 5:50): I am actually surprised to see so many defending this model here at what I consider to be a very spiritual place populated by very spiritually mature people just blindly taking this idea, holding it up and saying, "This is how it is" as if it has always been that way, as if there is no other way it ever could be, and as if anyone that does not accept this is somehow wrong. I would have thought there would be more of you saying, "Listen, the societal model is a pile of shit, let's figure something else out." Well you can add me to the dissenting voices at least. What it comes down to is you are all probably correct. This just is not the best time for me to be looking to start any sort of relationship. What you didn't understand was that I was trying to determine if there was any reason for me to stick around here (where I live.) Trying to find my way and some reason to keep going. But I remain lost and without any reason to continue. But that is the way it is. That is the apparent reality of my situation, the apparent reality of life in general, and the apparent reality of society. No point resisting it. Resistance just makes these apparent realities stronger, and they are strong enough already. Admit, Allow and Accept. It is up to me to focus on a different reality, the one I want. If I create the reality I experience, if I can choose it, then this is the only path left open to me. I don't know what else to say. I accede defeat. Now wait a minute... In the warrior's code, there's no surrender. If our advice sounded too conventional, then couldn't this be not least because you were approaching the topic in a conventional way? Or am I the only one who feels that your dating website is something like a "meat market", where customers will usually sort the non-appealing offers out according to conventional criteria - long before they even think of clicking on the links to your videos (and all that) that would show them what a unique and amiable person you are. What you need is an increase of spontaneous real-life encounters. For which the situation with that lady is a good example. You are definitely heading in the right direction! To look at that encounter as step 1 on your journey to a relationship, as you said, is a really good approach. I must confess that your post made me think though. I admit that we "spiritual people" should be able to provide something that goes People magazine. I concluded that a little Tarot Magic could help. For this, the Gilded Tarot deck you have will serve you well. Basically, the only other thing you need is an "altar". Any desk or table will do. I recommend employing a few additional things, however. Such as roses, red candles, clear or rose quartz, aphrodisiac incense, and/or romantic music. Nungali's arrangement above is a nice example. These things are not indispensable, but a little extra effort may pay well as you are signalling to the Universe that you are serious. Now you want to lay out three cards in a horizontal row from left to right, pausing after each of them to do some visualizations and affirmations: The Star - Inviting the Universal Force of Manifestation that is easily able to fulfil your wish. The Empress - Represents your ideal woman! Strongly visualize your ideal mate; how does she look, move, talk, walk? The Lovers - Now see yourself together with that very special person in an intense and mutually fulfilling relationship. Imagine all the fun things the two of you are doing together as if they were happening now! Use affirmations (aloud or silently) like: "Here I am with my wonderful girl. She loves me deeply, and I love her just as much." - Or whatever sounds right for you. Important: Don't just say the words. Feel them. Mean them. That's all! And when your done... let it go. Don't keep thinking about it! Leave it to the Universe to work things out and lead you to the right place at the right time. You can leave your altar the way it is and occasionally meditate with the spread. But boy, what if mum sees it... It's fine if you wrap up your things now. What you have done is sending a strong signal to the Universe, telling it clearly where you want to go, back up by the language of analogous symbolism. As a LoA representative, you may tend to think that it suffices do such an exercise in your imagination alone. Often, that's indeed all it takes. However, in my experience, although your psyche is indeed ever the gateway, visualizations are greatly amplified if you "anchor" them in the physical world by doing something in the physical world using physical objects.This is typical of the magical/shamanistic techniques of many cultures. Chances are we won't even have to evoke an elemental spirit as an astral helper. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zanshin Posted May 5, 2015 Are your parents okay? How would they feel about you living on their own? Is there some reason they are trying to hold on or you feel like you should be there for them? Is their health okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, feeling a little sad for them now. Seems like a bittersweet time in life (40s) for those of us who took a more conventional path as children grow up, but there are positives. Now that they are retired and children raised, have your mom and dad considered sailing off to become pirates? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Oh I see... "Face palm" is describing an act of auto-aggression! IT seems that way, but there are various types; Note in example 1 - DFP the fingers actually make a small triangle around the ajna chakra and leaving a vibrational access point open. This enables one to perceive previous hidden or deeper meaning that was not apparent before. Example 2. - TFP is more of a frontal facial sinus massage, this prepares the area for any sonar like perceptions, subtle smells or pheromone detection . Example 3 - HD is when one realises that extra sensory perceptions are not gonna really help, the person is an absolute retard and the third eye is banged on a flat surface to dislodge any perceptions that did get through from such an attempt at spiritually trying to conceive some type of sense in such stupidity in the first place. A SFP can also be a type of slap on the Ajna ( sometimes followed by a small rub) as well ( not shown above ) ... at times to stimulate it ( eg. "why on earth did I do that ! or Aha! thats the solution ! "), at other times to numb its perception ( eg. " I gotta get outa this thread - what the hell am I doing ? " ) Good to hear that you seem to have a heart for animals. I was afraid you might intend to hollow this guy out, stuff him and exhibit him as a trophy between the kangaroo and the croco. Edited May 5, 2015 by Nungali 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 5, 2015 Good to hear that you seem to have a heart for animals. I was afraid you might intend to hollow this guy out, stuff him and exhibit him as a trophy between the kangaroo and the croco. Between the kangaroo and the emu, you mean. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Noooooooo ! Do not go into the Mars Venus Lovers thing (or Aries ... who ever the helmeted red dude is who is twisting that woman's arm behind her back ) use Mercury to relate to Venus guys ! The other way is how all 'the trouble' started in the first place .... Edited May 5, 2015 by Nungali 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted May 6, 2015 Update She has my contact information, but does not wish to contact me, so I have been told by a 3rd part. So that's it. If we earned medals in the afterlife for effort, trying and working hard, I would have more shit pinned to my chest that almost any of you! But we don't, and it all is meaningless. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) Are your parents okay? How would they feel about you living on their own? Is there some reason they are trying to hold on or you feel like you should be there for them? Is their health okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, feeling a little sad for them now. Seems like a bittersweet time in life (40s) for those of us who took a more conventional path as children grow up, but there are positives. Now that they are retired and children raised, have your mom and dad considered sailing off to become pirates? No, but I have! They are fine. It just never really worked out for me to go anywhere. I had nowhere to go. I still don't, just this idea I can't shake of the Big Sur in California. I have ventured out a few times on my own. Tried, and failed, to make things work. Lived in an apartment, paid the bills, for about a year. They will be left with some things they will have to deal with, and grandma is 90 now, but they have to walk their path and I have to walk mine. Edited May 6, 2015 by DreamBliss 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nikolai1 Posted May 6, 2015 Hi Dreambliss - would you like to tell more about the time you were living alone. How it was for you? What went wrong? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted May 6, 2015 I was living in the top level of an apartment complex. I like my movies and music, tried very hard to be reasonable about it, but what I was told was that the neighbors were complaining. Understand that most of the time I was quiet. I never received any proof that anyone was complaining, nobody has said anything to me other than the manager living there at the time. I also ran out of employment. I worked for a few months driving a double jack, stepping up and down off that, for 10+ hour days, at a food warehouse getting pallets ready for delivery. I tried a janitorial job, something I said I would never do, for a month after that. The first job beat the shit out of my body. the second beat the shit out of my spirit. Compounded with the fact that my dad got nothing for his 30+ years, and that you can't even work somewhere that long anymore, I learned a lesson I will not forget about the flawed premise of working for a living, especially doing so for anyone else's profit. I may not know how to do it, or what I will do, but I have tried to do as others expected of me, I have tried the whole "get a job" pile of bullshit, and I worked hard at it. I know that path leads nowhere, and having a family as what you earn is little consolation. No, I don't know how to go about it, but I will work for myself, doing what I find enjoyable, fulfilling and meaningful, and I will have a family besides. Fuck what society thinks! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blue eyed snake Posted May 6, 2015 Noooooooo ! Do not go into the Mars Venus Lovers thing (or Aries ... who ever the helmeted red dude is who is twisting that woman's arm behind her back ) use Mercury to relate to Venus guys ! The other way is how all 'the trouble' started in the first place .... wanted to keep hitting that thank you button you do know what you're talking about 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nikolai1 Posted May 6, 2015 No job can ever beat the shit out of your spirit. Your spirit is absolutely untouchable. It is a constant source of strength and it does not matter not even one iota what the outer body is doing with itself, even janitoring. A person whose spirit is well realised can enter any situation fearlessly because their sense of self and esteem is so strongly rooted in the source of all pleasure. What the person 'gets' out of the job financially is also quite unimportant. The person already has all the pleasure that others need money to buy. If this isn't the case with you, then you need to discover that what I'm saying is true. You're an older wiser person now, and it may take getting a shitty job to show you how far you have already come. I promise you it won't be as bad this time round. I know this is true because you don't really have a choice anymore. Your dissatisfaction is relentlessly impelling you to make a change. That dissatisfaction and your spiritual maturity are exactly the same thing! If you weren't ready to move on you wouldn't want to move on. All this strong need for a mate is a sign of the need for a general growth in all areas. You just to do things in the right order: job, apartment, first and friends, hobbies and girlfriends next. You get that money however you wish. Don't think it has to be just like your Dad. But it does have to come before everything else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted May 6, 2015 Noooooooo ! Do not go into the Mars Venus Lovers thing (or Aries ... who ever the helmeted red dude is who is twisting that woman's arm behind her back ) use Mercury to relate to Venus guys ! The other way is how all 'the trouble' started in the first place .... First off, I more or less had to use this deck because it is the only one the OP has at hand. But regarding your criticism of The Lovers, a similar objection was once raised on the Aeclectic Tarot forum - to which deck creator Ciro Merchetti replied: The "melting embrace" was indeed my objective, but I must admit your point is a good one and is well taken, the poses could be interpreted mistakenly and seen as an unwilling struggle. Oh well...you'll just have to trust me... she was definitely not trying to get away :-) On the same thread, several other posters demonstrated their proper understanding of this card, e.g. a poster called Ryver: This is a gorgeous and sensual card indeed. I get a sense that there is a lot of trust and mutual desire for each other's well being and fulfillment in this card. He stands grounded so she is able to reach spectacular heights of ecstasy physically and spiritually. He is focused on her, open to her. I see the armor as a reminder that he is protecting her so that she is able to let go and full experience the situation. She has complete faith in him and his ability to keep her from getting lost. Her choice to trust him has allowed her to reach this state. Through her, he is able to also touch the stars so in choosing to stay grounded and allow her to rise, he still shares in the experience. A very thoughtful comment by a woman who seems to know what she is talking about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) IT seems that way, but there are various types; Note in example 1 - DFP the fingers actually make a small triangle around the ajna chakra and leaving a vibrational access point open. This enables one to perceive previous hidden or deeper meaning that was not apparent before. Example 2. - TFP is more of a frontal facial sinus massage, this prepares the area for any sonar like perceptions, subtle smells or pheromone detection . Example 3 - HD is when one realises that extra sensory perceptions are not gonna really help, the person is an absolute retard and the third eye is banged on a flat surface to dislodge any perceptions that did get through from such an attempt at spiritually trying to conceive some type of sense in such stupidity in the first place. A SFP can also be a type of slap on the Ajna ( sometimes followed by a small rub) as well ( not shown above ) ... at times to stimulate it ( eg. "why on earth did I do that ! or Aha! thats the solution ! "), at other times to numb its perception ( eg. " I gotta get outa this thread - what the hell am I doing ? " ) I appreciate your explanation of the astonishing subtleties of the "face palm". You seem to be speaking out of daily experience with all its variations. Truly enlightening! Edited May 6, 2015 by Michael Sternbach Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted May 6, 2015 DreamBliss, I agree with you that one's path to a successful life doesn't have to be a conventional one. The latter is just so much easier for most people! It is challenging and requires a good deal of creativity and nerves to go your own way and create your own world. But being the way we are, you and I have little choice in this. So many spiritual teachers remind us that we should focus on doing what we came here to do in the first place, which we will recognize most of all by our enjoyment of it. Success even in material terms is supposed follow. (Nothing wrong with a little practical intelligence here, to be sure.) It is important to find a partner who shares or at least understands this way of thinking. That's much easier when you are already very successful with it of course, but why wait? Why not pursue all your topics in parallel and let events unfold as they will? But a dating website like OK Cupid is hardly the place to find this person. Specifically addressing women with an interest in LoA (etc) would be much better. Why not start your own local LoA study group? Most attendants by far would be women. Women seeing you in a far different light than the ones on a dating website! Talking about your one-time date - I am little surprised that she apparently isn't ready to reach out to you now. Establishing continued contact would really have been your part when you met her first. But no regrets, please. It's possible that it wouldn't have worked out anyway. And from all experiences you can learn something. There will be others. On the next occasion, just make sure that you exchange phone numbers before saying bye, even at the risk that she politely declines. All you can lose is a little ego - but there is potentially the love of your life for you to win! So seize an opportunity before it's gone. On the Lovers card above, that is the meaning of the man holding the woman's wrist for you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 7, 2015 wanted to keep hitting that thank you button you do know what you're talking about Its a deadly cycle, In some types . Mars attracts Venus attracts Mars attracts Venus. I might go out on a limb here. Using some things I have tweaked and developed ( psychological mapping and collating natal astrological aspects and 'observations' ) I have seen these types of 'unconscious' and 'irresistible' patterns in play. One 'friend' I had for a while was sooooo Venus ruled ( aversely) , she even delivered phrases to me that I had previously developed as indicative of the problem. One relates to ' I cant resist, I cant help it, I have no control over it ' " Her cults may represent the religiously legitimate charm and seduction of the divine by mortals, in contrast to the formal, contractual relations between most members of Rome's official pantheon and the state, and the unofficial, illicit manipulation of divine forces through magic. The ambivalence of her function is suggested in the etymological relationship of the root *venes- with Latin venenum (poison, venom), in the sense of "a charm, magic philtre". Which can lead to the 'inverse' ... 'that woman is a witch ... she has a power over me I cant resist, like I have been drugged and put under a spell.' Really ? In 'loose mythology' Venus is paired with Vulcan ( who is lame in one leg ) , but she runs off for flings with Mars. It took some time for me to realise that the disgusting relationship she had been having with her ex and father of her her children, he was lame in the left leg, I am lame in the left leg and when we split, she married this guy ... who is lame in the left leg .... all 'coincidences' of course . (Obviously that wasnt the only dynamic ... it was a whole range of stuff that collated) and Mars ? Ooooh dont start me on Mars .... I think his mythology speaks for itself. In the 'inner triad' of psychological forces ( the 3 main 'drives' of psychology ) and their equivalence to the inner 'personal planets' ; .......... Mercury Mars ...................... Venus either 'position' is on the base line. So it is certainly a powerful dynamic, but unregulated without the influence of Mercury. There are just as many women who would like that above image of Aries / male as men. Yes, it is good to 'play out' the psychological dynamics (in a positive and healing process) , but unless one knows what one is really doing there, its a dangerous path ... and I am NOT exaggerating here ... it is actually a sickness in our societies; http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talking-about/top-stories/two-women-are-now-killed-by-domestic-violence-every-week-the-time-for-discussion-is-over-it-s-time-to-act/201502185319#.VUquvvmqqko (I better stop now before I totally hijack this thread . ) 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 7, 2015 First off, I more or less had to use this deck because it is the only one the OP has at hand. But regarding your criticism of The Lovers, a similar objection was once raised on the Aeclectic Tarot forum - to which deck creator Ciro Merchetti replied: On the same thread, several other posters demonstrated their proper understanding of this card, e.g. a poster called Ryver: A very thoughtful comment by a woman who seems to know what she is talking about. see above Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted May 7, 2015 When we had our (now famous) 'Gods of Olympus' party, I went in an Aries costume .... man ! I got flocked ! (One women even came up to me and sneered and goes "Oh, you think you are so tough in your little outfit and fake wooden sword ." and taps it , and then ... " Ohhh .... its a real one .... ! " Interesting ! ....... very interesting ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) Nungali We won't be comparing our swords here... Keep it in your sheath! Michael Yes, I learned something... I learned how to be rejected over and over again without hurting myself or anyone else! I can even be rejected and still function moderately well afterwards! I fear this unique lesson will continue to come in handy throughout the rest of my life. I wonder if it will always feel like this: Edited May 7, 2015 by DreamBliss Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idiot_stimpy Posted May 7, 2015 Rejection doesn't hurt your being. Rejection hurts your ego. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DreamBliss Posted May 7, 2015 Well obviously. But the ego has a low threshold for pain tolerance... For all but the most enlightened or spiritual, a rejection feels like a rejection of the person, not the ego. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zanshin Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) No, but I have! They are fine. It just never really worked out for me to go anywhere. I had nowhere to go. I still don't, just this idea I can't shake of the Big Sur in California. I have ventured out a few times on my own. Tried, and failed, to make things work. Lived in an apartment, paid the bills, for about a year. They will be left with some things they will have to deal with, and grandma is 90 now, but they have to walk their path and I have to walk mine. That's what I'm talking about. Except we're 300 years too late to be pirates, but Big Sur could work. I get it- you're not just some lonely, horny guy to do a boring job to fit into the material world. You're an Artist and a Prophet. Hanging out in a bedroom is poor material though. Look what we're reduced to on this thread, posting cheesy clips and pictures and talking about that. The plot has fizzled and character development isn't going anywhere either. You are a flawed, but likeable and sympathetic character. We all want to see you go on a Hero's Journey and Get the Girl. Also I don't think this love interest should be just any young floozie. Beyond physical, what kind of person should she really be? Needs character development and will leave up to you. I think you should go have an adventure. You don't have many obligations and if it doesn't go well you can go back to the start and use the material to make a better fictional version. But am hoping it will be an autobiography. Don't have a ready workaround to get cash to bankroll it other than doing some mundane job temporarily, should add up quick since you have minimal expenses. So if you go have an adventure and write a story about it I will buy a copy. You can call it Wanderings of a Reformed Monk. Edited May 7, 2015 by zanshin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Sternbach Posted May 7, 2015 Michael Yes, I learned something... I learned how to be rejected over and over again without hurting myself or anyone else! I can even be rejected and still function moderately well afterwards! I fear this unique lesson will continue to come in handy throughout the rest of my life. I wonder if it will always feel like this: Well, I don't know if it's helpful for you, but my attitude would be: If she isn't interested in me, I'm not interested in her. Of course that's easier said than done once you are madly in love with somebody. If you don't mutually resonate, it's far better you find out before that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
