Perspectives on Narcissism

[iain]

I just walked away from a job due to the insane levels of Narcissism in the work place. The worst thing when a domain becomes infested in this way, is that they support and propagate each others lies and perverted visions of reality; any one who is there to simply do an honest days work with out an ulterior motive, who wont take the shit they give out, is in trouble if they don't subscribe.

 

Its almost as if they despise any form of genuine integrity, perceiving it as a weakness.

[Brian]

I've held supervisory roles for more than 20 years and I have never had that attitude. Don't remember ever seeing it in other supervisors, either -- neither my peers nor my supervisors.

On second thought, I did have one boss like that.

[mike 134]

I've held supervisory roles for more than 20 years and I have never had that attitude. Don't remember ever seeing it in other supervisors, either -- neither my peers nor my supervisors.

 

It must not have been very cutthroat then. I swear there is always somebody wanting to stab me in the back I have to be vigilant and stay on my toes.

[Brian]

<shrug>

 

Five different private-sector industries, one of them with operations in 13 countries.

 

I think a lot of it has to do with the attitude of the individual, honestly.

[iain]

<shrug>

 

Five different private-sector industries, one of them with operations in 13 countries.

 

I think a lot of it has to do with the attitude of the individual, honestly.

I think you hint the nail on the Head there Brian; we do tend to get ourselves into the same old situations again and again, that has been a large part of the fun of my further development into more spiritual realms; makes all of that so much more apparent.

[mike 134]

Lol maybe I'm just unlucky every place I've been, be it school or work, my peers have been obnoxious and conniving little people and my supervisor / director / chairman is almost always a douchebag.

 

Or maybe I'm that guy that everyone is resentful of

Edited November 14, 2014 by mike 134

[bax44]

Mikes got dat 'lini firing again must have caught a hard on at da club.

Edited November 14, 2014 by bax44

[mike 134]

^^^^

Yep but I know how to control it now, how to fire it up and shut it down.

[bax44]

That's sick dude.^^^^

[Anoesjka]

It's no matter of luck or not whether we come in contact with narcissists.. We live in a narcissistic society and it's getting worse. It's considered normal (alas) and desirable, just take a look at sports (remember Lance Armstrong)

 

Audiohealing you're kind of special in that you are recognizing the narcissistic tendencies in yourself, which we all have to a certain extent. It's not a nice picture to paint of yourself, and it's a sign of waking up if you're willing to confront the darker parts of your psyche.

[iain]

It's no matter of luck or not whether we come in contact with narcissists.. We live in a narcissistic society and it's getting worse. It's considered normal (alas) and desirable, just take a look at sports (remember Lance Armstrong)

 

Audiohealing you're kind of special in that you are recognizing the narcissistic tendencies in yourself, which we all have to a certain extent. It's not a nice picture to paint of yourself, and it's a sign of waking up if you're willing to confront the darker parts of your psyche.

Who said anything about luck? This is a function of karman (sanskrit word again, sorry) ...

You see Anoesjka, we are related by something much more involved than luck.

Edited November 14, 2014 by iain

[iain]

^^^^ Yep but I know how to control it now, how to fire it up and shut it down.

I wonder Mike: would you be so kind as to share your relativistic details with me (birth date, time & place); that I might seek a probable cause for your majestic nature?

 

Space time and Geography do play an important part in this dynamic; as do the relativistic details of the place in which we live and those with whom we live.

[Brian]

This comes to mind for some reason:

 

"You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to so that, when they turn their backs on you, you'll get the chance to put the knife in."

 

 

 

 

You can choose to not be one of the dogs.

[iain]

Pink floyd, and without yet pressing play!

[iain]

Hello Mike,

^^^^ Yep but I know how to control it now, how to fire it up and shut it down.

Would you mind if I examine your birth chart?

Edited November 16, 2014 by iain

[thewhitetiger]

I am very fascinated with this discussion. I must honestly say it is a personal struggle for me. I find a great topic which I wish to add my experiences, yet by putting my two cents in I feel I am being egotistical. I mostly just keep to myself these days as I do not like to get involved with internet debates.

Trying to find a balance has been a interesting journey.

Thank you for discussing this. It has been very enlightening.

[idiot_stimpy]

I've found IRL that some of the most helpful, kind, and even self depreciating people act that way entirely out of self interest. They are merely trying to increase their popularity and influence, and expand their social network. I'm always on my guard against these types.

 

Better to be kind out of self interest than cruel?

 

Maybe they are kind and helpful as its in their nature to act that way?

[thewhitetiger]

How we react to others, including our assessment or judgments of them are a reflection of our own strengths or insecurities.

It has very little to do with them.

Being transparent is not easy. We are all taught to wear masks of some sort. This permeates our society. To remove our masks we must first become aware of its presence in the first place.

This is why we are all here...to become truly aware of ourselves and to let these masks go.

[Brian]

Very nicely stated, thewhitetiger.

[silent thunder]

How we react to others, including our assessment or judgments of them are a reflection of our own strengths or insecurities.

It has very little to do with them.

Being transparent is not easy. We are all taught to wear masks of some sort. This permeates our society. To remove our masks we must first become aware of its presence in the first place.

This is why we are all here...to become truly aware of ourselves and to let these masks go.

This realization helped me so much in not taking the world, or how people act, so personally.

[manitou]

I used to work alongside another cop in a small room, who was narcissistic to the max. I had to spend 8 hours a day with him at the same squad table. We worked together for about two years.

 

I've never had a more mind-numbing experience in my life. His name was Jerry, and every sentence he spoke, in general, pointed to himself in some way. Every single thing he experienced in life was All About Jerry. The funny thing was, I don't know if I've ever seen a man more good looking than Jerry, and it was astonishing how insecure he was about himself and women. But he was constantly drawing attention to his looks - always wanted to know how his hair looked, how this shirt looked - and yet no amount of assuaging him was enough. It was as though his need for approval grew larger and larger by the day. Because our working relationship was so close, I really didn't have the desire (or the knowledge at that time) to pull his covers on this.

 

Relationships with folks like this usually end badly, as did my friendship with Jerry. I got to the point where I just couldn't take him any more (and luckily, I got transferred to another division)

[liminal_luke]

How we react to others, including our assessment or judgments of them are a reflection of our own strengths or insecurities.

It has very little to do with them.

 

What other people think of you is none of your business.

RuPaul

[silent thunder]

I don't care what you think about me... I don't think about you at all. Jack Nicholson

[Brian]

OK, enough about me. Tell me what you think about me.

[manitou]

OK, enough about me. Tell me what you think about me.

Now I'm going to embarrass you, because I know you weren't serious.

 

This place would not be the same without you. That's what I think about you.