The Dead Body

[dust]

A few people I know have died this year. My newest suit has been worn exclusively at funerals.

 

We were asked if we wanted to see the body of one relative (my only truly close loss this year). I said no, and convinced a couple of other family members that it's better for one's last memory of a loved one to be the living, warm person they knew rather than a cold, lifeless one.

 

I've been wondering, though... maybe it would be better for "closure" to see the reality of it. Proof that the person is never coming back...

 

It's a choice I would imagine most of us are asked to make at some point, and I know it's going to happen a lot more in my future. Unless I die next, of course.

 

Any advice based on experience? To see or not to see?

[kio]

My grandpa died last year from old age, but it came after a long struggle with kidney infections, pnuemonia, painful arthritis and general weakness. My last memories of him alive are ones of him in pain.

At his funeral though, you could see the tranquility on his face, even though his body looked like a wax sculpture.

 

So for me it was good to see him no longer in pain. It didn't really have much to do with 'seeing to believe' that his spirit left.

[Apech]

A good friend of mine died and was laid out for all to see. It was the first dead body I ever saw ... this was in the late80's. I felt it was kind of a gift from him to me to see his body. I thanked him for it. I always find death and funerals give me some kind of 'message' ... some thoughts which help me in some way. Often very sad of course. If the relatives are very upset then its difficult and moving of course and sometimes you feel its a bit vicarious to see such a thing ... but in the end I think its important. In the midst of life we are in death (or is it the other way round) ... anyway it's always been for humans an important thing.

[Marblehead]

A few people I know have died this year. My newest suit has been worn exclusively at funerals.

 

We were asked if we wanted to see the body of one relative (my only truly close loss this year). I said no, and convinced a couple of other family members that it's better for one's last memory of a loved one to be the living, warm person they knew rather than a cold, lifeless one.

I follow this path.

[dust]

My grandpa died last year from old age, but it came after a long struggle with kidney infections, pnuemonia, painful arthritis and general weakness. My last memories of him alive are ones of him in pain. At his funeral though, you could see the tranquility on his face, even though his body looked like a wax sculpture. So for me it was good to see him no longer in pain. It didn't really have much to do with 'seeing to believe' that his spirit left.

 

Are you in the USA? I ask because it seems that open casket funerals are fairly common there. Almost all funerals I've been to (all in the UK) have been cremations, where the body is not displayed.

 

I've watched as a number of friends and relatives have withered away from various diseases; for some, I've sat by the bedside and held their hand, and have lasting memories of their pain, but also their strength.

 

And I think that, for some, I could have seen their body later on without a hugely traumatic effect. But I haven't lost anyone so very close as a parent or child, and don't know if I'd be able to cope with that.

 

 

 

A good friend of mine died and was laid out for all to see. It was the first dead body I ever saw ... this was in the late80's. I felt it was kind of a gift from him to me to see his body. I thanked him for it. I always find death and funerals give me some kind of 'message' ... some thoughts which help me in some way. Often very sad of course. If the relatives are very upset then its difficult and moving of course and sometimes you feel its a bit vicarious to see such a thing ... but in the end I think its important. In the midst of life we are in death (or is it the other way round) ... anyway it's always been for humans an important thing.

 

I almost know what you mean by the 'message'. I've maybe learned something from each death so far -- either about the person, someone close to them, or myself.

 

How important do you think it is? Are you saying that you definitely think we should all bear witness -- that it's more helpful to see than not to see?

 

I suppose historically it has always been natural for humans to see their loved ones on the funeral pyre or what have you, and I'm sure it's considered as an important ritual in many cultures, but has it always been important to our well-being?

 

 

 

I follow this path.

 

I will probably continue to. I don't know if I'd be 'brave' enough to look if I didn't have to. Though I do endeavour to live as 'naturally' as possible, and, as mentioned above, humans have always naturally seen our dead.. just like any other animal..

[Cheshire Cat]

In my opinion, there are just a few things which could be labeled "more spiritual" than facing the reality of death and impermanence.

 

A dead body usually tend to give a sermon to his friends and relatives, especially if they are free from ideas of paradise or reincarnation...

[Marblehead]

In my opinion, there are just a few things which could be labeled "more spiritual" than facing the reality of death and impermanence.

 

A dead body usually tend to give a sermon to his friends and relatives, especially if they are free from ideas of paradise or reincarnation...

A grand perspective. I had to say that first.

 

I have seen death as a result of violence. The sermon when viewing is not a very nice one.