C T

Seeing, Recognising & Maintaining One's Enlightening Potential

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Honoring the Truth of Who You Are

 

Do you recognize and honor

the space of being,

the truth of who you are,

in the life in which you find yourself?

This space within yourself is not

a passive place

where nothing happens.

The whole universe arises, rests and

dissolves in that single space.

 

—Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche

 

I see in myself

A truth emerging; 

Unafraid of my own judgments

Of myself.

 

I see in myself

A flawed individual,

An individual of addiction to substances, food, habits,

To color over

My own shortcomings.

 

I see in my own space and my own being

One who remains in stuckedness

And that which is known and comfortable,

Rather than tasting of the life

That sits at my disposal at my table.

 

I see in my own being

the truth of who I am.

I see the magnificence of Self,

and the paltriness of

the physical life lived.

 

I see in my own being

The huge swing between

That which Is

And That which Could Be.

 

I see the disparity

Between the radiance of my own beauty

And my tendency

To continually flog myself.

 

I try with all my might

To reconcile

That which I Am

And that which I want you to think I am.

 

I surround myself with You...

Steve, CT, Kar3n, Jeff,

Old River, Bud Jetsun,

Silent Thunder, and all

the others who have intimately

Shared my journey.

 

I wish to appear wiser in your eyes

Than I really am.

That is the Truth of my being

That is the Truth of my space.

 

I have recently attained

The Beginner's Mind.

This, so far, is my

Greatest Treasure.

 

With willingness to Let You See Me,

I place myself openly at your table.

Not only for myself,

But for You too,

In the event that you too

Are not quite what you appear.

 

All that is important to me now

Is the Light.

Attainment has come and gone.

I have achieved in this life all I need.

And now this moth

Merely circles the flame of Truth.

 

 

 

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A Noble Truth is one that ennobles the person who truly understand it. 

'There is suffering' is a Noble Truth. 'I am suffering' is not.

Enlightenment occurs only after we have seen suffering as a

conditional phenomena. Only depression, self-aversion and self-pity

result from taking it personally. 

 

The understanding that 'there is suffering' arises from observation of

experience. The assumption that there is an 'I' that is suffering arises

from a lack of observation of experience. 

 

Whenever we don't pay attention to the reality of our body and mind, 

we create the sense of 'I'. In Dhamma practice we learn how to stop

taking this 'I' so seriously, and ultimately how to let it go. 

 

~ Ajahn Jayasaro ~

 

'There is suffering' is a Noble Truth. 'I am suffering' is not.

 

yes, this is what came to me some years ago, in a mindblowing experience,

 i know it to be true but yet I cannot really feel that anymore.

 

I'm sort of boxed in in my own suffering, the body hurts everywhere, it is so tired that I'm not able to do anything but caring for it and the body will not sleep. Thereby influencing my mind, triggering fears of the sort of " will this ever end" and " money will run out"

 

I know that the suffering is lessened greatly when I take it minute by minute. Just leave it, all the worries, and, when I compare myself with ten years ago, there almost no worry, almost no fear.

 

but "the I" keeps me boxed in.

 

I see how I cling to the remnants of what once was my life, the yearning to have that back, the healthy body, the smart mind, it's all shattered, but i still cling to it, want it back.. the old life

I observe the circular thoughts in my mind, as if by repeating by the actions I have to take, the body and mind will become well.

 

and at the same time, there's the awareness that this suffering is sort of needed, to let the insights that are given to us here by CT, breakthrough

 

It feels like  arrogance/hubris to say this, but sometimes the feeling arises, that to become "well" this clinging has to end, to leave the ' me', the future and the past to their own, just be.

 

But i observe the clinging is just continuing, sometimes it feels like, when that breakthrough won't come, the suffering will get worse (which I fear..) but i cannot do anything but (try) to let go, to let be..

 

see how nonsensical it all becomes?

It truly is like a Koan....

 

Bes

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Bes, you are loved here.

 

We both love Rumi.  In one of his poems, he is addressing his Passion for Life, his love for the Oneness of all of it.  And he says something like

 

                  When you tire of blowing me kisses

                 I will gladly take your insults

                Just put your attention on me once in a while

 

Paraphrased, and yet it communicates the interplay of the light and the shadow.  That we must experience all of it

 

We are growing older; this is the insult.  The body is not what it was.  The mind is certainly not what it was.  I too live in this mix of sleeplessness and withdrawal from years of chemical.  And the loss of sharp mind.  And repetitiveness and memory loss.

 

You're right.  what a nonsensical koan this is.  All those years where we thought we understood life because things were in place are now upended.  This too, apparently, is part of the process.  

 

I have a talent which sometimes works,  depending on whether I can put my finger on just the right dynamic.  It would involve your self realization, my self realization, and a desire to slightly change the direction of a long standing trajectory.  I have seen it  work in miraculous ways; I have seen it not work.  It would involve a little ceremony, bringing the metaphysical into the physical, done at corresponding points in time, your end and my end.  If we can change the trajectory, we both receive the benefit.

 

If you are interested in trying, in opening yourself up to a stranger and figuring out why you are manifesting your current conditions, please PM me and I will do everything I can do to see if we can turn this around.  It is given freely from the heart.

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BES and all of my friends on this lovely thread:

Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche is leading a free 3 week course that focuses on using our connection to the inner refuge as most profound source of healing. It is a marvelous practice and very accessible. Look for Healing from the Source on this page if you are interested: http://www.glidewing.com/workshops/

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Glenn Mullin - Death, Bardo & Enlightenment: Considerations from the Tibetan Book of the Dead

 

Insightful video.

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If i have given up all modes of cherishing, of what shall i fear? 

Edited by C T
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BES and all of my friends on this lovely thread:

Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche is leading a free 3 week course that focuses on using our connection to the inner refuge as most profound source of healing. It is a marvelous practice and very accessible. Look for Healing from the Source on this page if you are interested: http://www.glidewing.com/workshops/

 

 

just registered, Steve.  This isn't something where I'll need Skype or anything, is it?  Don't know how to do that, I would ask you for help.

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just registered, Steve.  This isn't something where I'll need Skype or anything, is it?  Don't know how to do that, I would ask you for help.

No, you log in to a forum, much like you do here. No need for Skype.

 

There will be pre-recorded video teachings and guided meditations, homework in the form of formal meditation and informal application of the practices, and a support forum. In the support forum you will find wonderful people who are very mutually supportive and come from all over. People post questions and comments there for mutual discussion. Rinpoche pops in periodically and answers questions, gives some advice, and so forth. Everything is prerecorded so you work at your own pace.

 

I attended a workshop on this subject last year and it was very powerful. 

I highly recommend it regardless of one's background or belief system.

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BES and all of my friends on this lovely thread:

Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche is leading a free 3 week course that focuses on using our connection to the inner refuge as most profound source of healing. It is a marvelous practice and very accessible. Look for Healing from the Source on this page if you are interested: http://www.glidewing.com/workshops/

 

thank you Steve,

for your wanting to help me, for this forum where i can post and get answers like this

 

but it would be too much now.

I started up meditation again and I go too deep too fast.

The supplements I use in combination with meditation are relaxing my body at such a fast rate that my body cannot handle the detoxing reaction that is part of that relaxation. That's the reason I'm so very tired again.

 

I have to take it slow, for the next days no meditaion, in dialogue with therapist/ energyhealer stopping one of my sups and stating with herbs to support liver and kidneys, hopefully there will come a healthy balance in a few days.

 

but I do hope to be able to follow a course like that next year  :)

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If i have given up all modes of cherishing, of what shall i fear? 

 

yes, that's it, but knowing it, is not the same as shedding those fears,

it cannot be forced, i suppose it grows slowly

 

edit:

 

eh, i did not read well earlier,

you say that shedding your attachments will lead to ending the fears,

which is true. When you go down your fears you'll find attachment to something.

 

But how to give up the attachment to the idea of getting back my health ( which is of course the largest chunk) while at the same time doing my best to regain that health?

I mean, i will not stop doing the things that are meant to slowly regain the balance that is lost. having found a therapist and going to her for instance, or mailing her now that the situation seems to get worse.

 

the two seem incompatible to me, or are they ?

Edited by blue eyed snake

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yes, that's it, but knowing it, is not the same as shedding those fears,

it cannot be forced, i suppose it grows slowly

 

edit:

 

eh, i did not read well earlier,

you say that shedding your attachments will lead to ending the fears,

which is true. When you go down your fears you'll find attachment to something.

 

But how to give up the attachment to the idea of getting back my health ( which is of course the largest chunk) while at the same time doing my best to regain that health?

I mean, i will not stop doing the things that are meant to slowly regain the balance that is lost. having found a therapist and going to her for instance, or mailing her now that the situation seems to get worse.

 

the two seem incompatible to me, or are they ?

Dont worry, BES. 

 

It is not necessary to analyse every bit of information that seems to ring true for you at first glance. 

Just as it is not necessary to follow every single stage of how a seed germinate and grow and

eventually bear fruit.

 

Listening to teachings follows a similar process. For example, when i listen to some Dhamma talks,

there are some points which do not and will not immediately register in my mindstream, but my teachers

assured us that that is ok. One day, they said, when all the conditions come together, often in mysterious ways,

the fruits will ripen instantaneously - there is no need to be anxious and fill ourselves with many questions. 

 

The virtue of Contemplation is not about questions - it is more about allowing the words to suffuse our

being, like rubbing some balm onto an itchy spot... thinking about and wondering how it works to stop the itch

will not hasten the end of the itch nor will it enhance the healing process in any significant way.

 

Trusting in the power of words from enlightened masters to heal oneself is sometimes sufficient. 

These are like seeds of transformation that take time to become efficacious. Not all the seeds 

will sprout at exactly the same moment. 

 

Sometimes we can access healing simply by listening to healing chants or soothing mantras. This works

especially well for those who are experiencing bouts of lethargy due to excessive 'washing' of karma. 

We might not be able to move, but even though restricted in this way, our sense of hearing is not diminished. 

 

Here's an example of a sung mantra that people i know say is very effective in inducing healing... 

 

 

I will hold you in my heart, and others too, as i do my daily practice and prayers.  :)

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I will listen to this soothing mantra at least once a day.  What joy it brings to my heart, what peace.

 

(Your soul is that of a lotus.  I tearfully thank you)

Edited by manitou
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We shouldn’t get carried away. We shouldn’t get lost when things happen to us. Getting lost in good things is as bad as getting lost in bad things. We should not get lost in anything. We should always be aware and mindful. We should always follow the path no matter whether we are taking baby steps, elephant steps or kangaroo steps. Kangaroo steps are pretty big. Elephants cannot jump because their knees bend backward not forward, but Kangaroos can. Anyway, whether our steps are big or small we will get there. Our destiny is nothing more and nothing less than our potential, and our ultimate potential is no less and no more than Prince Siddhartha Gautama's.

 

Whatever he was able to attain, we will attain. Do not worry too much about your life. Enjoy it. Just do not be too indulgent. Practice diligence but do not let your practice become a burden for you. That is not very good karma. You may find yourself thinking, “Oh no, I have to do my practice. I have to do this hard work. I don’t like it but I have taken vows so I have to do it.” This is very negative. Do not let it happen. Instead practice comfortably, happily, joyfully with honor and gratitude. It may be bad karma for me to speak like this but if it helps you to understand more clearly then that is okay.

 

~ Tai Situ Rinpoche ~

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We shouldn’t get carried away. We shouldn’t get lost when things happen to us. Getting lost in good things is as bad as getting lost in bad things. We should not get lost in anything. We should always be aware and mindful. We should always follow the path no matter whether we are taking baby steps, elephant steps or kangaroo steps. Kangaroo steps are pretty big. Elephants cannot jump because their knees bend backward not forward, but Kangaroos can. Anyway, whether our steps are big or small we will get there. Our destiny is nothing more and nothing less than our potential, and our ultimate potential is no less and no more than Prince Siddhartha Gautama's.

 

Whatever he was able to attain, we will attain. Do not worry too much about your life. Enjoy it. Just do not be too indulgent. Practice diligence but do not let your practice become a burden for you. That is not very good karma. You may find yourself thinking, “Oh no, I have to do my practice. I have to do this hard work. I don’t like it but I have taken vows so I have to do it.” This is very negative. Do not let it happen. Instead practice comfortably, happily, joyfully with honor and gratitude. It may be bad karma for me to speak like this but if it helps you to understand more clearly then that is okay.

 

~ Tai Situ Rinpoche ~

 

What I've recently realized is that it doesn't matter at all whether I get there in this incarnation or another.  It's the ride, not the destination.  Where's the pressure then?  Joy is something brand new to me, don't know why I threw that in.  It just seemed important.  Perhaps it's from lack of pressure to achieve.

 

Finally.

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Dont worry, BES. 

 

thank you CT, you seem to look right through me now

 

It is not necessary to analyse every bit of information that seems to ring true for you at first glance. 

Just as it is not necessary to follow every single stage of how a seed germinate and grow and

eventually bear fruit.

 

I'll try to switch off the analyzer again, it's the pitfall, time and again

 

Listening to teachings follows a similar process. For example, when i listen to some Dhamma talks,

there are some points which do not and will not immediately register in my mindstream, but my teachers

assured us that that is ok. One day, they said, when all the conditions come together, often in mysterious ways,

the fruits will ripen instantaneously - there is no need to be anxious and fill ourselves with many questions. 

 

The virtue of Contemplation is not about questions - it is more about allowing the words to suffuse our

being, like rubbing some balm onto an itchy spot... thinking about and wondering how it works to stop the itch

will not hasten the end of the itch nor will it enhance the healing process in any significant way.

 

Trusting in the power of words from enlightened masters to heal oneself is sometimes sufficient. 

These are like seeds of transformation that take time to become efficacious. Not all the seeds 

will sprout at exactly the same moment. 

 

and I'll stop to pull on the grass, it will not grow any quicker doing that. reading this I hear my teacher telling me that i've to learn more patience, another well know pitfall.

 

Sometimes we can access healing simply by listening to healing chants or soothing mantras. This works

especially well for those who are experiencing bouts of lethargy due to excessive 'washing' of karma. 

We might not be able to move, but even though restricted in this way, our sense of hearing is not diminished. 

 

Here's an example of a sung mantra that people i know say is very effective in inducing healing... 

 

 

thank you for your insight

and

this is amazingly soothing, she sings with the voice of the mother I never had.

 

I will hold you in my heart, and others too, as i do my daily practice and prayers.  :)

 

i feel grateful for that

 

Bes

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The path of Tantra is said to be appropriate for people of strong passions, and it teaches us to experience every kind of emotion fully and completely. Emotions are forms of energy, and we need this energy for our spiritual life, for greater consciousness. Detachment should not be a dilution of energy, but a means of redirecting it to its proper use. If we try to ignore or suppress an emotion, or to make ourselves indifferent, we are actually deadening a part of ourselves and depriving ourselves of a source of energy. But what we often think of as intense emotion is usually really extreme entanglement in emo­tion. We say we ‘lose control’, we ‘can’t help getting angry’, ‘fall helplessly in love’, and so on. But if a flash of awareness comes, we feel a sudden release from that entanglement, and the emotion takes on an ab­stract quality of pure, neutral energy. Whatever the original impulse may have been, this experience brings a tremendous sense of joy and freedom; it is like dancing in empty space.

 

Tantra says that the starting-point, the path and the goal are one. So any practice (the path) can never be separated from the goal of increased consciousness and bliss. This motivation is all-important, especially in connection with nonattachment. There must never be a negative rejection, but a positive making-way for something greater. We are taught to experiment with sensations and reactions, but it must always be done with joy and awareness. If we give up something we like or do something we dislike, it is in order to understand the subjective, relative nature of attachment and revulsion, and to experience their true essence, the ‘one taste’ of spiritual bliss. And whatever pleasures we enjoy, we should try to realise that they are not for the benefit of the lower self, but are offerings to the divine buddha-nature, which is both the enjoyer and the object of enjoyment.

 

~ Francesca Fremantle

{Excerpt from: Tantric View of Nonattachment}

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The path of Tantra is said to be appropriate for people of strong passions, and it teaches us to experience every kind of emotion fully and completely. Emotions are forms of energy, and we need this energy for our spiritual life, for greater consciousness. Detachment should not be a dilution of energy, but a means of redirecting it to its proper use. If we try to ignore or suppress an emotion, or to make ourselves indifferent, we are actually deadening a part of ourselves and depriving ourselves of a source of energy. But what we often think of as intense emotion is usually really extreme entanglement in emo­tion. We say we ‘lose control’, we ‘can’t help getting angry’, ‘fall helplessly in love’, and so on. But if a flash of awareness comes, we feel a sudden release from that entanglement, and the emotion takes on an ab­stract quality of pure, neutral energy. Whatever the original impulse may have been, this experience brings a tremendous sense of joy and freedom; it is like dancing in empty space.

 

Tantra says that the starting-point, the path and the goal are one. So any practice (the path) can never be separated from the goal of increased consciousness and bliss. This motivation is all-important, especially in connection with nonattachment. There must never be a negative rejection, but a positive making-way for something greater. We are taught to experiment with sensations and reactions, but it must always be done with joy and awareness. If we give up something we like or do something we dislike, it is in order to understand the subjective, relative nature of attachment and revulsion, and to experience their true essence, the ‘one taste’ of spiritual bliss. And whatever pleasures we enjoy, we should try to realise that they are not for the benefit of the lower self, but are offerings to the divine buddha-nature, which is both the enjoyer and the object of enjoyment.

 

~ Francesca Fremantle

{Excerpt from: Tantric View of Nonattachment}

 

Thank you.

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Creating merit is part of creating new karma. Basically the idea is to change the whole structure of ones personality. For example becoming less selfish or less self centered or more tolerant, etc. One becomes a different person. 

 

That is the merit aspect and the wisdom aspect is to understand the nature of the self. What the self is. To realize that the self is not an immutable unchanging psychic principle but it is a structure formed by many kinds of psychic elements all clustered together. That is what forms this notion of the self. So that is the wisdom aspect. 

 

The merit aspect increases from the change in the person. How the person behaves, relates to the world, and the wisdom aspect has to do with perception , how one sees oneself and how one perceives the world.

 

~ Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche

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Creating merit is part of creating new karma. Basically the idea is to change the whole structure of ones personality. For example becoming less selfish or less self centered or more tolerant, etc. One becomes a different person. 

 

That is the merit aspect and the wisdom aspect is to understand the nature of the self. What the self is. To realize that the self is not an immutable unchanging psychic principle but it is a structure formed by many kinds of psychic elements all clustered together. That is what forms this notion of the self. So that is the wisdom aspect. 

 

The merit aspect increases from the change in the person. How the person behaves, relates to the world, and the wisdom aspect has to do with perception , how one sees oneself and how one perceives the world.

 

~ Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche

 

I think there is great room for misunderstanding this on the Path.  Any path that leads into the light and clarity.  Don Juan Mateus, within the Castaneda framework, called this developing Impeccability.  Impeccability in one's thoughts, in one's intent, in one's behavior, in one's speech,in one's habits, in one's self discipline.

 

the way I know this from experience is that the person I am evolving into and have evolved into has taken a great deal of work. One could call this developing merit.  This was done for a selfish purpose; to stay comfortable in sobriety.  One cannot live a selfish existence, or an unkind existence, and be comfortable with life.  One would have to drink or take other substances to equalize the discrepancy between being a jerk and living within that framework.  But to be comfortable without substance?  That requires a quantum change of the personality; a change to the positive rather than the constantly critical, negative, and judgmental.

 

I've never felt on this forum that there has been enough attention paid to the inner changes, the ones that are difficult, that must be made to make forward progress on the Path.  The above quotation notates a subtle difference between developing merit and developing wisdom; as the difference between a verb and a noun.  The verb part (in my opinion) would be to develop the merit; to change one's karma by acting and behaving differently, intentionally.  To go out of one's comfort zone and develop qualities that one perhaps didn't have previously, such as generosity or unselfishness.  Perhaps humility - that's an awfully big one which takes a lifetime of 'work', if you ask me.

 

Wisdom, on the other hand, as it says above, is more of a point of perception. That's the noun.  How one sees one's self and how one perceives the world.  A Seer has wisdom because they are self-realized, they have seen into their own character without judgment and therefore sees into the lowest common denominator of the character of all others.  Perhaps an ascended Christian mystic would call this developing the 'Christ consciousness', wherein they have gotten out of their own way in the ego department and have cut loose of judgment, hierarchy, cynicism, and the like.

 

To put a Daoist spin on this, I always seem to go back to Yutang's 3 treasures - they are so easy to understand, and yet speak volumes.  To never be the First (which flies in the face of excessive ego), Never too Much (which goes not only to ego but also to selfishness and thinking of others), and Love (which I see as a combination of the Merit aspect and the Wisdom aspect in the above quote).  To fully develop love, the self must be first loved non-judgmentally.

 

And this is the paper bag out of which I struggle.  To love self.  After all, we know our own thoughts.  We know if they are not up to par, we know if we are judgmental (once we start to separate from the tendency), and I can beat myself up because they can still arise from time to time.  And yet, the monster is only a monster when it doesn't realize it's a monster; when it is One with all the negativity.  Once the monster is seen, the separation begins, and the spaces between the negative thoughts and judgments get longer and longer.  Clarity takes its place.  And perhaps clarity can't be rushed.  The clarity of non-differentiation, the realization that this truly is a huge dream, which yins and yangs with our night-time dreams for the purpose of steering our consciousness toward the light and toward clarity.

 

There are many in our forum who do not see the necessity for the urge to Merit.  This is not the same as 'being good'.  Being Good is not even relevant.  Once the heart is on the Path and struggles toward the light (in the verb sense) and increases clear perception (in the noun sense) there is no Good nor Bad - and yet there is something that we so futilely call 'Love' which replaces what once inhabited that space.  At the risk of sounding oxymoronic, It's All Good.

 

I look forward to Joy.  I get glimpses sometimes, my heart swells with it on occasion.  I know I've got it coming.  Just a little more of the illusion of the Ego of the entity known as Barbara to get out of the way.

 

There's a saying in the old recovery program, started by a stockbroker named Bill Wilson in Akron, Ohio in 1935:  "You can't think your way into right acting.  You have to act your way into right thinking".  How much more meaningful these little platitudes have come to mean to me over the years.  And I read the deep and wondrous jewels brought forth by CT and others on this thread, and realize that the truth has been before me for all these years.  Only I was only capable of seeing the very surface of the truth, of the true meaning; and it has taken half a lifetime to breach the surface.

 

the beauty of The Truth, of True Wisdom, is that it all ends up in the same place.  Within ourselves.  The very last place we'd think of to look.

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One year and then another.
Appearances gradually change.
Bone marrow shrivels.
Eyebrows thin away.

 

This time-limited body is like a mound of slurry.
In the Triple World, earth, air, fire and water mingle and change.
This is all our emotions allow us to notice
And their sight obstructs our view of Heaven.

 

One month and then another.
The light and dark pass like melting snow.
No part can be kept for long.
Only the Dharma does not come or go. 

 

The lacquer bowl suddenly breaks.
You are like the Dragon of Heaven - born to be lively and free.
A roc can't live in a crane's nest.
A little jiaoliao bird needs to stay near mosquito ponds.

 

One day and then another.
They never wear themselves out.
Give up your judgments about everything.
It's all insubstantial in the end.

 

All things under the sun come to an end and dissolve.
Spend what time you have in honest simplicity.
Just one breath of the Eternal
Admits you to the Great Chamber.

 

One hour and then another.
Inexorably march, step by step.
Whenever I meet you, we each smile.
But who is it who drags your corpse around?

 

Steadfast and unchangeable
Always mindful of this or that.
You're young and strong. Exert yourself!
Don't wait... oh please don't wait
Until you're much too old and weak.

 

~ Hsu Yun

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But who is it who drags your corpse around?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well said, Hsu Yun.  Well said.

 

"Steadfast and Unchangeable".  Doesn't it seem that there is a presence within that has remained the same age since the day of birth?  

Edited by manitou
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Well said, Hsu Yun.  Well said.

 

"Steadfast and Unchangeable".  Doesn't it seem that there is a presence within that has remained the same age since the day of birth?  

Since even before birth!! 

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