Strange feeling/experience.

[lifeforce]

I'm just gonna throw this out here and see if anyone has any ideas.

Today, at work, I've had a weird and very vivid feeling as if I hadn't actually been there.

I mean I have been there working as normal, interacting with colleagues etc, but, I've had this somewhat detached feeling. It's as if I was watching myself working, talking, eating, drinking, etc without actually doing these things, even though I was.

Time has also been not the same for me today.

I'm really bemused and at a loss to know what's going on.

I'm still feeling the effects of this bizarre experience even now, hours later. I've never had this before.

Any thoughts ?

[C T]

It could be a fruit of meditative practice as well, although sometimes stress could also be a cause.

 

Some would assert that such experiences are precursors or indicators that one is ready to delve into lucid dreaming practice to further strengthen and draw benefit should one venture to take on that aspect of esoteric development. Not a must, though. From this point on, you may experience the odd episode of lucid dreaming, and/or even sample more and longer-lasting experiences similar to the above.

 

In future, you could even experience, adhocratically, the loss of this detached observer too. Then it gets really interesting

[lifeforce]

Hi.

No stress at all at work, it's a very calm environment.

[lifeforce]

Hi CT.

That sounds interesting.

I did have a shaktipat/kundalini experience over 4 years ago. The bliss lasted for many weeks before fading. However, I've never been the same since and have had some weird and vivid dreams as well as many more strange episodes.

[ChiForce]

Hi CT.

That sounds interesting.

I did have a shaktipat/kundalini experience over 4 years ago. The bliss lasted for many weeks before fading. However, I've never been the same since and have had some weird and vivid dreams as well as many more strange episodes.

Oh dear, sounds like what happened to me when I was 19, in College. 4 years ago? Did anything happen to you after the experience? I don't know. If you are feeling detached, you should have been feeling detached months after your experience. Not 4 years later. Anything else happened to you within the 4 years? For me, I saw my past life. Or a past life which has its immediate karmic influence in my present. I repeatedly had dreams about my historical self and maybe even saw my own historical self...like timing traveling and seeing your past life self face to face...hahahah......

[lifeforce]

For a while now I've been having dreams/visions of a female being/deity/goddess. At first I thought it was guanyin or Tara from Tibetan Buddhism. She is strong, powerful, dark, mysterious, forceful, and beautifully sexual. More and more I've been drawn towards her. I now know this to be Kali, whom I'd never heard of before.

The little I've read and investigated, the more I am certain of her involvement in my life.

My life has changed so many times over the last 4 years. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and energetically I am unrecognisable from the Me of four years ago.

I thought this was down to my daily neigong practice, coupled with some sort of a midlife crisis.

I'm thinking now that it could be the involvement of Kali.

Edited January 23, 2015 by lifeforce

[Sahaj Nath]

hey lifeforce!

 

 

a very natural and normal part of the kundalini process. most regular people only experience what you described in times of trauma or intense stress, and so they regard it as a disorder when actually they have been shaken up enough to wake up a little bit. it's a small part of the process, but i regard it as an important part.

 

it's in that state that you described that you can truly begin to understand teachings like "there is no doer." even the thoughts that lead to action are understood as just part of the flux of creation and dissolution. the witness is untouched by any of it.

 

it's a good time to read some of your favorite spiritual teachings, if that sort of thing suits you. Bankei. Nisargadatta. Chuang Tzu & Lao Tzu. rather than imerely intellectually deciphering the texts, you may notice that you have an immediate grasp of the state or condition from which the texts were written. you may find that you have insights that far exceed the scope of the mere text.

 

whatever you decide, i would work with it however best you feel moved to. the more awareness, focus, and energy you bring to it, the more you root it into your self as a condition that sticks, and you will very naturally detach more and more from the everyday, even while the bulk of your daily routines remain the same. and at the same time you'll begin to expand into more intangible dimensions.

 

not at all an unpleasant process, if you ask me.

[lifeforce]

hey lifeforce!

 

 

a very natural and normal part of the kundalini process. most regular people only experience what you described in times of trauma or intense stress, and so they regard it as a disorder when actually they have been shaken up enough to wake up a little bit. it's a small part of the process, but i regard it as an important part.

 

it's in that state that you described that you can truly begin to understand teachings like "there is no doer." even the thoughts that lead to action are understood as just part of the flux of creation and dissolution. the witness is untouched by any of it.

 

it's a good time to read some of your favorite spiritual teachings, if that sort of thing suits you. Bankei. Nisargadatta. Chuang Tzu & Lao Tzu. rather than imerely intellectually deciphering the texts, you may notice that you have an immediate grasp of the state or condition from which the texts were written. you may find that you have insights that far exceed the scope of the mere text.

 

whatever you decide, i would work with it however best you feel moved to. the more awareness, focus, and energy you bring to it, the more you root it into your self as a condition that sticks, and you will very naturally detach more and more from the everyday, even while the bulk of your daily routines remain the same. and at the same time you'll begin to expand into more intangible dimensions.

 

not at all an unpleasant process, if you ask me.

 

Hi Hundun.

It's nice to hear from you again.

Thanks for your words of advice.

I've always wondered after all these years : after kundalini, then what ?

I did sit to meditate a few times but thought, what is the point ? Meditation can't take me any further now. What i really need to do is to assimilate the teachings that I've learned into my very being.

You're right though. I do seem to understand everything that is being said in the ancient, and sometimes modern, texts.

It's a coincidence that you mention Nisargadatta, because I was only just reading some small gems of his.

I particularly like this one. It seems to sum up my thought at the moment :

 

"My Guru ordered me to attend to the sense 'I am' and to give

attention to nothing else. I just obeyed. I did not follow any

particular course of breathing, or meditation, or study of

scriptures. Whatever happened, I would turn away my attention from it

and remain with the sense 'I am', it may look too simple, even crude.

My only reason for doing it was that my Guru told me so. Yet it

worked! Obedience is a powerful solvent of all desires and fears".

[Songtsan]

It might be useful to study disasociative states (which can range from disasociation to depersonalization to derealization) and see if there are hallmark studies describing causes or correlatory states of mind, just for curiosities' sake.

 

I have had times of spontaneous states like these from early childhood and onwards, and also having had the Kundalini awakening I can say with certainty that it is related.

 

I have theories that the 'Unseen Watcher/Doer' that is Kundalini may be exceptionally active and doing who knows what during these times...

[lifeforce]

It might be useful to study disasociative states (which can range from disasociation to depersonalization to derealization) and see if there are hallmark studies describing causes or correlatory states of mind, just for curiosities' sake.

 

I have had times of spontaneous states like these from early childhood and onwards, and also having had the Kundalini awakening I can say with certainty that it is related.

 

I have theories that the 'Unseen Watcher/Doer' that is Kundalini may be exceptionally active and doing who knows what during these times...

Thanks songtsan.

I'll look into that.

Again yesterday, and for the last few days it has been exactly the same. This feeling of being there but not being there. It is very, very strange and peculiar.

[Bearded Dragon]

Any enlightened person would also say it's strange and peculiar. There is that point where roles reverse and it's no longer the human watching the awareness but the awareness watching the human (and everything else). It's nothing to do with kundalini but rather a mystery of non-created energy. Forever strange and peculiar.

[lifeforce]

Any enlightened person would also say it's strange and peculiar. There is that point where roles reverse and it's no longer the human watching the awareness but the awareness watching the human (and everything else). It's nothing to do with kundalini but rather a mystery of non-created energy. Forever strange and peculiar.

Has the kundalini shakti not initiated all of this though ?

[C T]

Sometimes it could simply be a result of awareness expanding on itself. We, or the idea of who we are, do not have possession of this process, it unfolds itself naturally for all meditators. In my understanding, there is no need to give this a name or label it anything in particular, because doing so tend to bring up some comparative or dualistic ideas. For me, i simply allow it to come and go without grasping at it or trying to avoid anything which accompanies such experiences. Gone are those days where i would get overly excited and try to fathom every single mystical meditation or awareness experience.

 

As Machig Labdron said to Shakya Shri in a vision, "Mind's nature is empty, defying the intellect. Any discursive thought that arises in it proceeds to the expanse of luminous clarity and, at the end, reaches the inaccessible realm, the unborn."

[lifeforce]

Gone are those days where i would get overly excited and try to fathom every single mystical meditation or awareness experience.

One thing I definitely do, is to over analyse every single little experience. This is a trait I need to let go of.

[Songtsan]

Disasociative personality disorder used to be linked with multiple personality disorder and was seen to often stem from past traumatic experiences resulting in personality splits. It was considered a defense mechanism. Not saying that this necesarily applies to you at all.

[lifeforce]

Disasociative personality disorder used to be linked with multiple personality disorder and was seen to often stem from past traumatic experiences resulting in personality splits. It was considered a defense mechanism. Not saying that this necesarily applies to you at all.

Interesting. Maybe I need to speak to a mental health expert.

[Songtsan]

Good site for basics: http://www.isst-d.org/?contentID=76

 

Still, it may not even be dissociation in the western sense. Kundalini does its own weird things. Have you ever felt that parts of your body felt extremely large or small?

[lifeforce]

Good site for basics: http://www.isst-d.org/?contentID=76

 

Still, it may not even be dissociation in the western sense. Kundalini does its own weird things. Have you ever felt that parts of your body felt extremely large or small?

Thanks Songtsan. I'll have a read through that.

Yes I've had that feeling many times. Different parts of my body feel disproportionate at times. It's a really strange sensation.

[Songtsan]

Do you note any anxiety around the time that the symptoms occur? Due to the social situation?

[lifeforce]

No. Its not a social anxiety issue. I'm never anxious, quite laid back and comfortable in my surroundings.

[lifeforce]

Maybe I should spend some time away from spiritual forums and literature. It might be unconsciously adding to the situation.

[Owledge]

For a while now I've been having dreams/visions of a female being/deity/goddess. At first I thought it was guanyin or Tara from Tibetan Buddhism. She is strong, ...

Could be Tara Strong. Did you see a purple unicorn in your dreams?

[lifeforce]

Could be Tara Strong. Did you see a purple unicorn in your dreams?

No. Just a seductive female deity.

[Sahaj Nath]

Maybe I should spend some time away from spiritual forums and literature. It might be unconsciously adding to the situation.

maybe, but i stand by my original take on your situation. especially given that you're not battling any stress or anxiety.

 

what you're experiencing is not a problem that needs to be solved.

 

 

if we don't welcome these changes that arise, why bother doing any of this stuff at all?

[lifeforce]

maybe, but i stand by my original take on your situation. especially given that you're not battling any stress or anxiety.

 

what you're experiencing is not a problem that needs to be solved.

 

 

if we don't welcome these changes that arise, why bother doing any of this stuff at all?

You're quite right Hundun and I value your opinion. You've been very helpful to me in the past.

On forums such as these when you ask for advice, sometimes the answers you get are mixed.

I've just been having a conversation with a very good friend of mine who's a martial artist, qi cultivator and spiritual seeker.

He's also had strange mind states that he can't explain. We came to the conclusion that people like us are prone to such events because of the practice's we do. That we should embrace this change and go along with it, learning every single moment of our lives. That we have to stop looking for explanations and labels. That we aren't mad, crazy, strange and aloof.

So, now, I feel much better about my situation and consider myself lucky to be able to have these feelings and thoughts.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to view life, the world and the whole of divine creation as seekers like us, do.