42 Lessons Of Life

[Marblehead]

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come...

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

[Bubbles]

Why off-topic ? It doesn't seem more off-topic than "I lost my libido, help!", "what made you laugh yesterday", " Will concentrating on my root chakra help with hair loss?" or " How can i love you as my brother when you are just as f... up as everyone else?" threads...Actually, I find it better than most.

Edited January 26, 2015 by bubbles

[Marblehead]

Yeah, I was going to post it in "General Discussions" but opted for "Off Topic". But yes, I think it is right on topic. Living.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!!

 

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

 

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

 

 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

Life isnt good or bad, its both; Dao

 

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

what if that's my doubt?

 

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

life's too SHORT?! I'm not even 30 yet and it's dragged it's lazy slow boring ass along so far!

 

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

What job? What family??? Or is that just me?

 

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

What credit cards?

 

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

But winning every argument IS true to myself! What do?

 

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

Crying at all... that's always an accomplishment for me.

 

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

D'oh! I didnt save that dough... I was too busy reading the Tao of Jeet Kune Do...

 

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Mostly true, but i am a reformed chocolaholic and it's been 3 weeks since my last bite of chocolate... Wait, does Nutella count???

 

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

I dont think my past has ever interfered with my present (past AND present presents...) but i dont think it's MY doing that is doing the screwing (up).

 

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

Tell that to my unofficially adopted family! It's like a sin to them!

 

12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

I generally try not to, but it aint always easy. Hence my Video Game addiction; i get to LIVE someone else's life!

 

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...

Amen!

 

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Not nearly enough, maybe 10,000 deep breaths will work...

 

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

I've been TRYING to get rid of civilization, but it just wont go!

 

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

At that rate, i will be an immortal in 30 years!

 

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

I never could comprehend being happy for happiness sake. it's like saying something is against the law because it's illegal. Pot isnt wrong, mm'k! and happiness isn't always genuinely right!

 

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

I wont, but that isnt stopping everyone from telling me im wrong! What i want in life isnt in my power to affect!

 

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

I don have any fancy lingerie! But i DO try to celebrate every day like they are all special. Sadly, i cant actually afford to pull this off...

 

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

I can barely even under-prepare... The flow is heading to certain destruction... I think i'll swim ashore, thanks much.

 

21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

You got something against purple, huh, punk?!

 

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

Ummm...? I really cant disagree, but i dont think thoughts make babies either.

 

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

No, but everyone else is in charge of the sources of prosperity, which is a significant happiness blocker.

 

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

UGH! In 5 years, will most people even REMEMBER there was a disaster?!? I think we need to remind ourselves of our history more than ask if it even matters. OF COURSE IT MATTERS!

 

25. Always choose life.

REALLY having a hard time agreeing with that! When life is unbearable, death is relief.

 

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

Yup! Definitely! Which reminds me of #24...!

 

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

Until they act on those thoughts!

 

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

If i gave time time, wouldn't that be Times Squared?

 

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Still waiting for civilization to change, but that's a 12,000 year old bad situation... Will you work TOWARD change or expect it to change its own diapers?!

 

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

Since no one else will, it might as well be me!

 

31. Believe in miracles.

That i can & do.

 

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

Hard to make the most of nothing. anything times nothing is nothing.

 

33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

Im having a hard time agreeing with that. Growing old looks like suffering longer. Can't i die 30 years ago instead of experiencing them unwillingly? and yet i lack to courage to suicide...

 

34. Your children get only one childhood.

I don't expect my children will ever exist, so doesnt that make an infinite childhood for them,? DAMN im a better parent than anyone who actually brings kids into this world!

 

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

FFS if that's so, my life is already a success, all that is left is to wait for death to come looking for me and duke it out with him.

 

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

Huh... must be hiding, not just waiting.

 

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

Nah, i'd just leave them all in that pile and walk away from it.

 

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

Ummmmm........ that's lies. we need what we need. envy is about desire, not necessity. We shouldnt give up our necessities.

 

39. The best is yet to come...

it always is, perpetually and forever; just the horizon.

 

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

To what?

 

41. Yield.

Or hit & run...

 

42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Booby trap is more like it.

 

 

 

i was mostly serious, but trying to put it in the lightest of heart

 

 

I think my work here is dumb done!

 

[Nungali]

Thanks for demonstrating the lack of insight not surviving life until 90 brings

[Marblehead]

 

i was mostly serious, but trying to put it in the lightest of heart

 

 

I think my work here is dumb done!

 

Yeah, I saw the bits and pieces of seriousness. But you did very good with the humor.

[zerostao]

as one of our esteemed current mods is aware of, 42 is the answer.

i would like to see marblehead's list of 42 lessons of life.

when i turn 100, if this forum is still around, i will post my 42.

know now, that dancing and laughing are on my list.

[Marblehead]

as one of our esteemed current mods is aware of, 42 is the answer.

i would like to see marblehead's list of 42 lessons of life.

when i turn 100, if this forum is still around, i will post my 42.

know now, that dancing and laughing are on my list.

Hehehe. I have no reasons. I just do it.

[Apech]

as one of our esteemed current mods is aware of, 42 is the answer.

i would like to see marblehead's list of 42 lessons of life.

when i turn 100, if this forum is still around, i will post my 42.

know now, that dancing and laughing are on my list.

 

We can't wait till next week.

[Owledge]

1,2 and 3 already made me lose interest, since it's caring so little to make a reality check, and number 12 then pretty much hammers the nails in the coffin for me.

[Marblehead]

1,2 and 3 already made me lose interest, since it's caring so little to make a reality check, and number 12 then pretty much hammers the nails in the coffin for me.

But 1, 2, and 3 are reality. What do you want? Pie in the sky? There ain't none there. Deal with what you have and are capable of getting.

 

And 12? The best advice I have ever been given. It's the only way one will attain contentment.

 

But then, who am I to say?

[Owledge]

OK, when something triggers my bullshit detector so much, I am tempted to point it out, so I'm gonna comment on those points. Those that I left out will be ones I actually have no objections about, either because I agree or because I wouldn't even know how to comment.


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
What is "good"? Try to convince someone in really deep shit all their life that life is "still good". So easy for someone close to death who had an acceptable or better life to say crap like this. This is creating lack of empathy, ignorance to the real problematic stuff going on.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Assuming there's always a next step. What about people who don't see it?

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
Yeah, and, you know, if you're unhappy ... just don't be. It's so simple, isn't it?

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
Unless your job pays well and you can buy the care you need in times of sickness. Furthermore, with a good job your chances of getting sick are reduced.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
If you can.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
How about not having an argument with winning as aim in the first place? Then again, what if being highly competitive is being true to yourself?

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
In times of severe emotional vulnerability, call 1-800-CRYCOMPANION.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
But don't put the savings in a bank. You could end up SO FUCKING PISSED a couple of decades down the road.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Another universally accepted Regina-Brett-life wisdom.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
And if you get really good at making peace with your past, people might screw you over all the time in the present. Then you need to make peace even harder.

12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don't believe your personal life wisdoms should apply to those others. Hypocrit.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
Because love isn't the most important thing. If you're a negro worker and in love with a white woman, get your shit together. It's wrong.

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
...until you read my 42 life lessons.

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
Because beauty is irrelevant. If everybody made efficiency their prime aim, the world would be so much better off.

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
By adding pain to your psyche that builds strong armor around your emotions. Then you are strong enough to write 42 life lessons without having to care about other people's walk of life.

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
Just seen your wife and baby blown to pieces by a tyrant's bomb? It's your choice whether you allow it to get to you.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
It is probably forgiveable that with your 90 years age, you've already forgotten what you wrote in #13.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
Why do the former when the latter negates it?

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
OK, this is really beginning to look like Alzheimer. Remember #17?

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
Easy to say for someone who's 90 years old. How about caring for stuff regardless of whether you can just sit it out? Because, the answer of whether it will matter in five years is entirely unpredictable and could even depend on how you decide to answer the question.

25. Always choose life.
Even if that kills you?

26. Forgive but don’t forget.
Forgive ... eventually. At first your unforgivingness might serve as valuable feedback to those who did injustice.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
It can very easily become it. This bears great risk of being interpreted as "Don't empathize." and thus requires a lot of wisdom when heeded. More wisdom than Regina Brett has.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
And by "almost everything", I mean "some things". But if you extend the timeframe far enough, death will indeed solve any problem.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Not for you though if it kills you, lol.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
Wow, you have no fucking idea. People who take themselves very seriously also tend to take others very seriously.

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
Leave it to others to call you careless/evil/sociopath/mass murderer.

33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
So then eternal life would be the most desirable I guess.

34. Your children get only one childhood.
Sometimes when they're adults. Or none at all. Or they had a childhood, then lost the spirit, then later in life redoscivered it. Oh wait, that would mean ... #34 is bunk.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Spoiler alert: Nothing matters in the end. Or everything. No duality.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Do you know the definition of "everywhere"? Hint: inside.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
LOL, not really. Having problems means we haven't solved them yet, because we still need to learn how. Other people more likely have problems that we would know how to solve.

39. The best is yet to come...
DEATH. Enjoy yours.

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
In effect: Don't always do what you love. Appointments are important. If you just don't show up, people will think you're a dick. Better show up and act like one to kill the rumors and create facts.

41. Yield.
Sometimes? Always? How about resisting? Is this doormat advocacy or just typing-laziness? You don't sound wise just by being brief if there's no point to it.

42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Because I didn't pay for this.

[Marblehead]

You can be really cynical when you put a little effort into it.

 

And that's strange for someone who likes little ponies.

Edited January 30, 2015 by Marblehead

[Owledge]

You can be really cynical when you put a little effort into it.

 

And that's strange for someone who likes little ponies.

I have come around a lot. I can walk in both worlds.

Having experienced great pain enables appreciation for great joy.

Lately I have been affected quite a lot by the fact that bullshit has such popular support; by the feeling that the world is chock-full of denial and lies, that I can get hardly anything done unless it's on my own, because the chance of bumping into yet another mask while trying to deal with a mask is so high.

You know what they say: It's lonely at the top. Could just as well be rock bottom.

[Marblehead]

I have come around a lot. I can walk in both worlds.

My comment was mostly just messing with you.

 

Having experienced great pain enables appreciation for great joy.

Yes. I can't say my pains have been great but pains they were. And yes, the pains cause the joys in our life to feel much more real.

 

Lately I have been affected quite a lot by the fact that bullshit has such popular support; by the feeling that the world is chock-full of denial and lies, that I can get hardly anything done unless it's on my own, because the chance of bumping into yet another mask while trying to deal with a mask is so high.

I understand what you are saying. I don't do denials (as far as I am aware of) and I don't accept other people's lies. And I know about masks. I used to dress in shiny armor. I replaced that with self-confidence.

 

As to the bullshit, we correct what we can correct and those things we can do nothing about we don't let them worry us. We don't have to allow the BS effect our life to the point of bringing negativity into it.

 

You know what they say: It's lonely at the top. Could just as well be rock bottom.

I have said before, not here, that I live alone but I am not lonely. I am neither at the top or at the bottom. I guess I live horizontally.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

Well life isnt a one-size-fits-all....

Heck, the paradigms of our various cultures arent even one size fits most!

Truth be told, all of us are islands yet lack the physiological and psychological capacity to function as islands (hence cultures).

So it's really just a paradox, life. Act as an island, get fucked over. Join the (wrong) culture, also get fucked over. Seek the right culture, and get fucked over continuously until you find it..!

And let's face it: Native american/aboriginal/tribal cultures are all but utterly extinct, so i know that im fucked for life! (and yet still not getting laid! WTF?!?)

[Marblehead]

(and yet still not getting laid! WTF?!?)

Well, if I were 30 years younger I probably could help you out with that.

 

(Sorry, the devil made me do that.)

[Marblehead]

Well life isnt a one-size-fits-all....

 

Heck, the paradigms of our various cultures arent even one size fits most!

 

Truth be told, all of us are islands yet lack the physiological and psychological capacity to function as islands (hence cultures).

 

So it's really just a paradox, life. Act as an island, get fucked over. Join the (wrong) culture, also get fucked over. Seek the right culture, and get fucked over continuously until you find it..!

 

And let's face it: Native american/aboriginal/tribal cultures are all but utterly extinct, so i know that im fucked for life!

Yeah, sometimes it is hard for us to get life to come together for us.

 

Cycles. Even cultures are born and then they die.