...

[Bubbles]

Hi Flofolil,

 

As long as you are doing the pendulum movement between lust and trying to suppress lust, you won't find a balanced life.

 

I don't think there is a quick solution for finding the equilibrium point.

 

Imo and ime, vipassana meditation can help a lot. I made a search and find some simple online instructions and advices. There are many publications available about vipassana, free or for a fee, but they may be a bit technical with a lot of buddhist vocabulary.

 

Here is the link : HERE

 

The key process is to learn to observe your feelings, emotions, sensations instead of being controlled by them. It is a long term process to be proficient at it, and reflecting about what sexual desire is etc helps too, but I can't see how you would succed in having a balanced life without that. Neither indulging in, nor trying to suppress but just observe and be free.

 

Hope it is of some help.

[soaring crane]

removed because I prefer not to be associated with this thread. I believe this is the first time I've removed a post (might not be, not really sure) and I'm going to PM any member who quoted me and request they remove the quote.

[allinone]

No, absolutely not. It's completely different. Dr Hawkins works are completely spiritual, not psychological, not in the true sense. You will understand once you start reading it.

 

psyhology is spirituality with western terms. I read basic psyhology book and its same to religion. Psyche=soul(to bring one example).

[Josama]

psyhology is spirituality with western terms. I read basic psyhology book and its same to religion. Psyche=soul(to bring one example).

Hmm yeah that doesn't sound wrong though spirituality and religion are not the same.

 

Freud may be good and all, but he wasn't a spiritual enlightened person as far as i know. Dr Hawkins definitely is. Real teachers transmit their teaching through energy, not words. Michael Lomax does it in his book as Dr Hawkins does in his.

 

Here is a quote from the book :

 

"In spiritual parlance, ego implies a negative quality, an obstacle to realization because of its linear dualistic construction. In psychology, however, the term denotes coping and survival skills needed to deal effectively with the world."

Edited February 14, 2015 by Josama

[Bubbles]

But I haven't seen anything that's going to help Flo become literally asexual, which is the goal.

 

 

Sorry, I didn't understand!

I thought it was just a problem with uncontrolled sexual urges, not with sexuality in itself.

 

edited for conjugation

Edited February 22, 2015 by soaring crane

[liminal_luke]

Hi Flofilil,

 

Recently heard a quote that might be apropo to your situation: "Everythiing is about sex, except sex."

 

The mystery of our attractions runs very deep indeed, and is tangled up in the most profound --and usually hidden--reaches of our selves. For a fascinating, and helpful, exploration of the way this happens I love Jack Morin´s book, The Erotic Mind.

 

I´m not very optimistic that someone here will be able to give you the key to turning off your sexuality, and even less convinced it would be a good thing if they could. Which is maybe a jerk comment given how much pain you´re in. I get that you want the feelings to go away, and certainly something needs to change, but I just fear that radical sledgehammer approaches to that end would end up doing more harm than good.

 

Obviously more is going on than would be appropriate to go into here at Taobums. Have you gotten in-person professional support from someone who specializes in this?

 

Liminal

[allinone]

Hmm yeah that doesn't sound wrong though spirituality and religion are not the same.

 

Freud may be good and all, but he wasn't a spiritual enlightened person as far as i know. Dr Hawkins definitely is. Real teachers transmit their teaching through energy, not words. Michael Lomax does it in his book as Dr Hawkins does in his.

 

Here is a quote from the book :

 

"In spiritual parlance, ego implies a negative quality, an obstacle to realization because of its linear dualistic construction. In psychology, however, the term denotes coping and survival skills needed to deal effectively with the world."

 

he is quoting Freudian ideas. Seems his view on spiritual ego is something else, since term ego is created by Freud originally if i remember correctly.

 

edit: checked in wikipedia, i am wrong.

Edited February 14, 2015 by allinone

[wilfred]

psyhology is spirituality with western terms. I read basic psyhology book and its same to religion. Psyche=soul(to bring one example).

 

pretty much, but the extent of its understanding stops way before things get interesting, from what i can gather.

[C T]

~~~

Edited March 6, 2015 by C T

[Josama]

he is quoting Freudian ideas. Seems his view on spiritual ego is something else, since term ego is created by Freud originally if i remember correctly.

He may be quoting Freudian ideas, but they are not really ideas. This is not really something to understand with your mind, but rather with your SELF.

 

Even if you consider them only ideas it doesn't change fact that earlier ideas always tend to improved upon with time.

[wilfred]

I have mastered complete control over my sexual drive, but i don't know how to share my method with you because its a very intricate process, and also a very Buddhist one.

 

Basically, I'm at a stage where i can turn on and turn off my impulse at will, and also able to transmute sexual energy into mindfulness, creative pursuits and meditative absorptions.

 

But you are not open to this path, so thats why its difficult to point you in the direction you are seeking to go.

 

mind purification path is the only legit way to get a handle on this sexual stuff, from what i've experienced. still struggling but the answer is quite obviously that, to cultivate the qualities of mind that allow for skilful transmutation as you described. anything else is going against nature or trying to bend the rules too much, which often leads to bad things and ultimately more suffering. no quick fixes here.

[soaring crane]

xxx

[Wells]

.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Wells

[soaring crane]

xxx

[C T]

well, it could also be that the starting point is simply different. Did you suffer with the same issues as Flo before starting this path?

Yup... in my mid 20s right thru to late 30s sex was a major factor in causing much confusion and frustration in life. Much of it had to do with selfishness, and also about self-worth and seeking acceptance thru shallow intimacy. Now that that aspect has been worked upon, seen thru, and eventually subjugated, all physical urges are completely under control. One of the first exercises i did was to discipline the urge to pee, believe it or not. Nowadays i can hold it in for 12 hours (or maybe even a bit more) if i must. lol

[bax44]

the op wants to destroy his sex drive? Literally probably the dumbest idea ever, but since he doesnt seem to be able to "transmute" it and wants real tangible ways to make it go away, may I suggest either estrogen therapy, or anti androgens such as propecia or even saw palmetto. these will lower your DHT and make getting an erection much more difficult, not only that, but they have the side benefit of making looking at an attractive lady(or man if your into that) about as appealing as staring at paint dry. Exciting stuff but its what you seem to be wanting. You may thoroughly regret this though at a later date. ask me how I know. But if youre determined, these are some surefire ways to drastically reduce or perhaps totally eliminate the essence of life. Recommend treading very carefully, friend, as you dont know what you have until its gone....

 

Edit: another way that you can research and find suitable evidence of a chemical radically changing ones nautral drive is to hop on an SSRI, these usually reliably make one castrated feeling in a time frame of a few months. If your really looking to kick things up a notch id recommend combinging a small dose of SSRI with some propecia/finasteride. Androgyny heaven! Im taking your OP seriously by giving you real world ways of accomplishing your goal, however I hope you can read between the lines in my post and see that I really really really hope you dont do anything stupid to yourself.

Edited February 14, 2015 by bax44

[allinone]

He may be quoting Freudian ideas, but they are not really ideas. This is not really something to understand with your mind, but rather with your SELF.

 

Even if you consider them only ideas it doesn't change fact that earlier ideas always tend to improved upon with time.

 

what mind is, is self. Whatever we look we see our selves. Its possible to form an idea about other people but its formed in the mind also the sense of self is formed.

 

I wonder what Hawkins got to say about self, is it permanent or not, does it have inherent existence?

[wilfred]

for what it's worth the nofap guys (doing this stuff without really understanding the processes at work, but getting great results) swear by cold showers for taking the edge off sensual cravings. a basic chi kung practice can also calms things down a lot, particularly shaking the whole body down to get the chi moving, clearing stagnation in the pelvic area. but these are ultimately coping mechanisms, letting the system open up and rebalance to clear excessive attachment energy. if you've overstimulated or even entertained these type of thoughts too much, you'll have to be with them without reaction for whatever length of time it takes for them to pass.

[allinone]

for what it's worth the nofap guys (doing this stuff without really understanding the processes at work, but getting great results) swear by cold showers for taking the edge off sensual cravings. a basic chi kung practice can also calms things down a lot, particularly shaking the whole body down to get the chi moving, clearing stagnation in the pelvic area. but these are ultimately coping mechanisms, letting the system open up and rebalance to clear excessive attachment energy. if you've overstimulated or even entertained these type of thoughts too much, you'll have to be with them without reaction for whatever length of time it takes for them to pass.

 

one possible thing for celibacy is or any other discipline is to see the backward flow* of energy. And it too have different aspects or layers to it how to use that knowledge and results.

Edited February 14, 2015 by allinone

[wilfred]

but, when it comes to sex, going with nature would leave men copulating everything they can't eat, and probably a number of things they can eat. That's the jumping off point and anything that denies that urge is already against nature.

 

depends what's 'in there' energy wise, doesn't it? going with nature could be that for a healthy young adult, but it can get out of control and become like an addiction if we follow primal urges down to their logical conclusions. such is the nature of physical pleasures always leaving us wanting more. a person who has gained control of their mind and can employ skilful transmutation methods is equally going with nature. i guess it gets tricky, how do you get from A to B. someone who has recognised our animal drive as a problem is already tapping into higher functions, starting down the path of getting control over their 'energy'. it would be a shame to have surgeries or take drugs as a solution after recognising this truth.

Edited February 14, 2015 by wilfred

[C T]

@ bax44 - Some studies indicate that saw palmetto actually boosts libido. Im no expert though, so you could well be more informed in this.

 

http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/natural-medicine/herbal-remedies/saw-palmetto-herbal-remedies.htm

[Apech]

A warning from history ...

 

The drug cyproterone acetate has been commonly used for chemical castration throughout Europe. It resembles the drug MPA used in America.^[5]

In the United Kingdom, computer scientist Alan Turing, famous for his contributions to mathematics and computer science, was a homosexual who chose to undergo chemical castration in order to avoid imprisonment in 1952.^[23] At the time, homosexual acts between males were still illegal and homosexuality was widely considered to be a mental illness that could be treated with chemical castration.^[23] Turing experienced side effects such as breast enlargement^[24] and bloating of the physique.^[23]He died two years later, with the inquest returning a verdict of suicide,^[25] although recent research has cast doubt on this result.^[26] In 2009, the then British Prime Minister Gordon Brown issued a public apology for the "appalling" treatment of Turing after an online petition seeking the same gained 30,000 signatures and international recognition.^[27] He was given a posthumous Royal Pardon in December 2013.

[allinone]

I have mastered complete control over my sexual drive, but i don't know how to share my method with you because its a very intricate process, and also a very Buddhist one.

 

Basically, I'm at a stage where i can turn on and turn off my impulse at will, and also able to transmute sexual energy into mindfulness, creative pursuits and meditative absorptions.

 

But you are not open to this path, so thats why its difficult to point you in the direction you are seeking to go.

 

what helps me is that there is better things than physical stuff. Imho that is one explanation for emptiness: That our current understanding may be wrong and unimaginable things like life without sex is possible and there is better things tho it is related to the same organ but different layer or body.

[Wells]

.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Wells

[Saoshun]

Emptiness is the answer.