Work life interfering with practice?

[Rara]

I'm starting to recognise...maybe it is my career that is messing me up. Evidently, what we choose to do daily, is the practice that shapes us into what we are.

 

I've been in entertainment, full time, for nearly 5 years, but my anxieties have really been present for almost 10. It was easy when I was young...I was sheltered and had little responsibility. I was still in the same field (about to leave school so still developing) when I started losing sleep and I guess that was because I realised, but would never admit to myself, that I was setting myself up for lack of stability and a lot of stress.

 

All for the purpose of "doing something fun with my life".

 

I think the fun has been over ridden. Last year was the best, but this year, things have quietened down and I feel like I'm back to stage one.

 

I now inevitably practice mindlessness every day, because I am desparate for clients. Phone calls here and there, one half-sent email, there goes my twitter, then more calls, finish that email etc etc. It's all "business related", but scrappy as hell.

 

I'm on a TV set tomorrow and I don't even know what time I start and finish until late afternoon today.

 

How can one ground oneself with a lifestyle like this?? Nothing is focused, there is too much juggling and I don't think I'm alone in the world here. At the same time, I could carry on with all those in the same boat and we could all be mindless wrecks together, or I could exit stage right and take a new path.

 

If anybody else has been in my shoes, I would love to hear from you.

 

Bless.

Edited March 5, 2015 by Rara

[Marblehead]

Well, first let me state that you are in an industry that leads many to self-destruct so I will compliment you on keeping it together for this long.

 

I think I can fairly say that my military service was just as challenging as your service is.

 

I think what you have spoken to above is mostly about setting priorities and time management.

 

But even here you must consider the priorities of those you serve as well as how they are able to manage their time in order to work will within your time frames.

 

Focus is important as well, of course.  And knowing what the needs of those you serve and satisfying those needs before any worry sets in.

 

Yes, I know, these are all generalities but this is the only perspective I can speak to.

[Stosh]

I'm starting to recognise...maybe it is my career that is messing me up. Evidently, what we choose to do daily, is the practice that shapes us into what we are.

 

I've been in entertainment, full time, for nearly 5 years, but my anxieties have really been present for almost 10. It was easy when I was young...I was sheltered and had little responsibility. I was still in the same field (about to leave school so still developing) when I started losing sleep and I guess that was because I realised, but would never admit to myself, that I was setting myself up for lack of stability and a lot of stress.

 

All for the purpose of "doing something fun with my life".

 

I think the fun has been over ridden. Last year was the best, but this year, things have quietened down and I feel like I'm back to stage one.

 

I now inevitably practice mindlessness every day, because I am desparate for clients. Phone calls here and there, one half-sent email, there goes my twitter, then more calls, finish that email etc etc. It's all "business related", but scrappy as hell.

 

I'm on a TV set tomorrow and I don't even know what time I start and finish until late afternoon today.

 

How can one ground oneself with a lifestyle like this?? Nothing is focused, there is too much juggling and I don't think I'm alone in the world here. At the same time, I could carry on with all those in the same boat and we could all be mindless wrecks together, or I could exit stage right and take a new path.

 

If anybody else has been in my shoes, I would love to hear from you.

 

Bless.

Rara, I'm not really in your position, but ,,,

wait ,

no , to a degree I am in a similar situation .. umm

If I offered a solution , ,  which sounded tenuous and philosophical 

Would you jump at it? or is there some value that you feel inherent to the stress you experience? , (which would make you speculative , so that you would - negate the input, essentially  Walk on past it and dismiss it. )

[Spotless]

I'm starting to recognise...maybe it is my career that is messing me up. Evidently, what we choose to do daily, is the practice that shapes us into what we are.

I've been in entertainment, full time, for nearly 5 years, but my anxieties have really been present for almost 10. It was easy when I was young...I was sheltered and had little responsibility. I was still in the same field (about to leave school so still developing) when I started losing sleep and I guess that was because I realised, but would never admit to myself, that I was setting myself up for lack of stability and a lot of stress.

All for the purpose of "doing something fun with my life".

I think the fun has been over ridden. Last year was the best, but this year, things have quietened down and I feel like I'm back to stage one.

I now inevitably practice mindlessness every day, because I am desparate for clients. Phone calls here and there, one half-sent email, there goes my twitter, then more calls, finish that email etc etc. It's all "business related", but scrappy as hell.

I'm on a TV set tomorrow and I don't even know what time I start and finish until late afternoon today.

How can one ground oneself with a lifestyle like this?? Nothing is focused, there is too much juggling and I don't think I'm alone in the world here. At the same time, I could carry on with all those in the same boat and we could all be mindless wrecks together, or I could exit stage right and take a new path.

If anybody else has been in my shoes, I would love to hear from you.

Bless.

This was most of my life - I was as a friend called me "a serial entrepreneur". My objective since I was young was to get rid of money issues - which I never really did though this has changed now - money arrives when needed - things arrive when needed - broke or flush the worry is gone. (Recently I was really looking at sailboats - I had been without one quite awhile and for some reason by happenstance I was looking at the Fresno Craigslist which is nowhere near where I live and came across a Free Sailboat listing that was giving away a sailboat in My area - two days later I owned a 27' sailboat and I am now outfitting it as a pirate ship for my 7 year old son.

 

 

If you are able to pry yourself away from the misery and head loops that play constantly in the background and foreground - meditation or Qi Gong or Yoga or ??? Work wonders if you can do them around an hour a day.

Everything in your space will be lighter, all sorts of angst will dissipate and you will need far less sleep.

 

In reality an hour a day is easy to russle up - we spend most of our time sleeping and consuming (food, news, TV , crap).

You can achieve pretty good results listening to music on your iPod while doing some of these - though I suggest no lyrics and upbeat relatively light stuff - heavy metal and highly emotive stuff will not be helpful - chill out works pretty good.

 

At some point having learned how to work with "no idea what is happening next" will be helpful - it is closely related to "being present". The second one takes some getting used to - their is an inclination to do things, that you should be doing something, preparing to do something, thinking about the things you are going to do, reading up on the latest stress, judging something and striving towards any of a thousand goals. It is very similar to losing ones mind and in fact it can actually scare one a bit for a time - it will definitely scare others. Given your regular irregularity - which was the same for me - people around me don't see it as vividly as if I suddenly quit my job - I have nearly always worked for myself so I'm allowed to not show up. (I just haven't "showed up"for a long time now.

 

The amount of energy you dissipate in the stress you are talking about is much better transmuted in practice and practice will greatly facilitate breaking these patterns of worry and dissipation.

 

I am 60 and spent my whole life in regular irregularity - then 7 years ago my son came into my life - and he was regularly in need of all sorts of stuff including me. I had no time at all and soon began to meditate a lot - suddenly I had all sorts of time - along with wonderful cataclysmic changes. I began with meditation as he settled into sleep - and I just sat there for hours every night well after he settled in.

Immediately I had more patience, a certain lightness, needed very little sleep, did not dread many things that are dreadable and enjoyed the little fella to no end. I was walking within a sea of stressed parents at the daycare and in the schools that followed.

Edited March 5, 2015 by Spotless

[Rara]

Rara, I'm not really in your position, but ,,,

wait ,

no , to a degree I am in a similar situation .. umm

If I offered a solution , , which sounded tenuous and philosophical

Would you jump at it? or is there some value that you feel inherent to the stress you experience? , (which would make you speculative , so that you would - negate the input, essentially Walk on past it and dismiss it. )

Haha, no...go ahead. I'm thinking of quitting anyway.

 

I am a serial multi-tasker because one thing doesn't create enough income.

 

I play performer, manager/booker and event organiser. Several different hats and exhausting and I get so many clashes in my timetable. The moment I sit down to focus on something, that other important thing calls my phone!

 

So it's like I'm cultivating scizophrenia regularly, only to then meditate to counter it. Seems pointless.

 

Why not take on just one discipline that pays the bills still? Like most lol.

 

Honestly open to what you have to say.

[Rara]

Well, first let me state that you are in an industry that leads many to self-destruct so I will compliment you on keeping it together for this long.

 

I think I can fairly say that my military service was just as challenging as your service is.

 

I think what you have spoken to above is mostly about setting priorities and time management.

 

But even here you must consider the priorities of those you serve as well as how they are able to manage their time in order to work will within your time frames.

 

Focus is important as well, of course. And knowing what the needs of those you serve and satisfying those needs before any worry sets in.

 

Yes, I know, these are all generalities but this is the only perspective I can speak to.

Absolutely...priorities and time management seems to be impossible for me. It's hard to prioritise anything as I did this last year...and that client has just vanished! So now I can't be bothered as look where commitment got me!

 

I already PM'd you a while back about me considering a different path, if you remember? Strongly considering that now, as this is getting demotivating.

[Rara]

This was most of my life - I was as a friend called me "a serial entrepreneur". My objective since I was young was to get rid of money issues - which I never really did though this has changed now - money arrives when needed - things arrive when needed - broke or flush the worry is gone. (Recently I was really looking at sailboats - I had been without one quite awhile and for some reason by happenstance I was looking at the Fresno Craigslist which is nowhere near where I live and came across a Free Sailboat listing that was giving away a sailboat in My area - two days later I owned a 27' sailboat and I am now outfitting it as a pirate ship for my 7 year old son.

 

 

If you are able to pry yourself away from the misery and head loops that play constantly in the background and foreground - meditation or Qi Gong or Yoga or ??? Work wonders if you can do them around an hour a day.

Everything in your space will be lighter, all sorts of angst will dissipate and you will need far less sleep.

 

In reality an hour a day is easy to russle up - we spend most of our time sleeping and consuming (food, news, TV , crap).

You can achieve pretty good results listening to music on your iPod while doing some of these - though I suggest no lyrics and upbeat relatively light stuff - heavy metal and highly emotive stuff will not be helpful - chill out works pretty good.

 

At some point having learned how to work with "no idea what is happening next" will be helpful - it is closely related to "being present". The second one takes some getting used to - their is an inclination to do things, that you should be doing something, preparing to do something, thinking about the things you are going to do, reading up on the latest stress, judging something and striving towards any of a thousand goals. It is very similar to losing ones mind and in fact it can actually scare one a bit for a time - it will definitely scare others. Given your regular irregularity - which was the same for me - people around me don't see it as vividly as if I suddenly quit my job - I have nearly always worked for myself so I'm allowed to not show up. (I just haven't "showed up"for a long time now.

 

The amount of energy you dissipate in the stress you are talking about is much better transmuted in practice and practice will greatly facilitate breaking these patterns of worry and dissipation.

 

I am 60 and spent my whole life in regular irregularity - then 7 years ago my son came into my life - and he was regularly in need of all sorts of stuff including me. I had no time at all and soon began to meditate a lot - suddenly I had all sorts of time - along with wonderful cataclysmic changes. I began with meditation as he settled into sleep - and I just sat there for hours every night well after he settled in.

Immediately I had more patience, a certain lightness, needed very little sleep, did not dread many things that are dreadable and enjoyed the little fella to no end. I was walking within a sea of stressed parents at the daycare and in the schools that followed.

Thank you. Admittedly, I am not meditating anywhere near as I was, because I seem to have disruptions all around me.

 

There was a perfect example, typing this on my phone and my phone goes again with another spontabeous request.

 

So I have to go now! Lol...but this is the issue. It's like I'm on call 24-hours a day...only sometimes the phone doesn't stop...then one day, it won't go off at all...so I will hold it in my hand and keep checking out of habit!

[Stosh]

Haha, no...go ahead. I'm thinking of quitting anyway.

 

I am a serial multi-tasker because one thing doesn't create enough income.

 

I play performer, manager/booker and event organiser. Several different hats and exhausting and I get so many clashes in my timetable. The moment I sit down to focus on something, that other important thing calls my phone!

 

So it's like I'm cultivating scizophrenia regularly, only to then meditate to counter it. Seems pointless.

 

Why not take on just one discipline that pays the bills still? Like most lol.

 

Honestly open to what you have to say.

Thanks, but if I am going to stick my neck out, I think its fair of me to have as a prerequisite ,

wouldn't that be fair to request ? the direct answer,  which you did address tangentially but ,, Im not sure how to take it ,such as it stands.  Is it really an answer of no?

( theres method to this madness )

Edited March 5, 2015 by Stosh

[Rara]

Thanks, but if I am going to stick my neck out, I think its fair of me to have as a prerequisite ,

wouldn't that be fair to request ? the direct answer, which you did address tangentially but ,, Im not sure how to take it ,such as it stands. Is it really an answer of no?

( theres method to this madness )

Is this a riddle?

 

I am unaware of any answer that I might have addressed!

 

What I need is reassurance to what I think is going one here: I have thrown myself into a scatty way of life - entertainment and self-employment. Both lead to emotional rollercoaters, highest of highs and lowest of lows (and laziness...for some reason, to me, self-employed means I can take lots of time off doing something completely unrelated and then annoy myself for sleeping and losing potential income)

 

I feel like I am putting myself through unneccesary stress when I could just stick to one discipline, perhaps even in employment and have some sort of structure.

[Rara]

I think I lack discipline.

[Stosh]

Is this a riddle?

 

I am unaware of any answer that I might have addressed!

 

What I need is reassurance to what I think is going one here: I have thrown myself into a scatty way of life - entertainment and self-employment. Both lead to emotional rollercoaters, highest of highs and lowest of lows (and laziness...for some reason, to me, self-employed means I can take lots of time off doing something completely unrelated and then annoy myself for sleeping and losing potential income)

 

I feel like I am putting myself through unneccesary stress when I could just stick to one discipline, perhaps even in employment and have some sort of structure.

Im just asking whether you would take take advice on the issue of your stress, -either from me or someone else. 

You said no , maybe jokingly , but also  you were willing to entertain an answer. 

 

Maybe its not a big issue for you , (I dunno. It is for many) and we could just talk about you , and your not-so-unique stresses. 

If its not, then the answer would pretty much be moot , yes?

 

If you put yourself on rollercoasters , well, that is a paradigm which likely wont change with a change in employment. 

Sure folks act differently in different circumstances .. but often its just a matter of time before we return to a similar paradigm to that which we left. If you agree with this.. then the whole thing is humongously not moot. 

[GrandmasterP]

Hi Rara.

Being self employed you work for a very hard boss.

Thing is buddy what would you do if you stopped?

The lows are low but in your line of work the highs must be incredible.

Might you not miss those?

I was dreaming of retiring and stopping work.

More time for me and more time for cultivation.

Fact is, so far; I'm bored off my bits a lot of the time.

Don't miss work but do miss workmates, my students and the 'crack'.

Think before you jump my friend and all good wishes to you whatever you decide to do.

Edited March 5, 2015 by GrandmasterP

[PLB]

I have a work life that goes back and forward between absorbing all my energies or leaving the order of my day entirely up to me (well, I am married with children so that might be overstating the matter). I have come to notice practicing makes some things more at hand in one condition than the other.

For instance, when I am highly stressed, the stillness and sung element is like a drink of water, easily swallowed. When the time is mostly my own, those things suddenly become more difficult. On the other hand, when I am not consumed by work, my mind can balance many more elements. Sensitivity is possible in all sorts of situations.

This observation doesn't address the larger questions you ask. But I am pretty sure you know what I am saying.

[Bearded Dragon]

I was getting stressed out at work until I decided that it was a good situation for refinement. Then I treated it as training and eventually it didn't bother me anymore (Well, a little. I'm not perfect).

[Aetherous]

It can help to just slow down. Not necessary to change what you do in life, but just take your time at it and aim to be more chill and easy going. Instead of rushing about like a chicken with its head cut off, for instance, just go from point A to point B and perhaps breathe and notice something pleasant around you. Take time for little pleasures, like a cup of tea, within your day. Flow smoothly.

 

Also, you don't know when you'll get done with work...but you do eventually get done. And then you have some time when you could meditate or practice at that point. Or...if you know you have to be up at 6am or something, then you can go to sleep and get up a bit earlier in order to fit in a practice then. There is time for what you want to do.

 

Time management is hard. But you can make time, and your schedule will fit around it...you'll make it happen.

[liminal_luke]

It might sound weird, but I find bathroom breaks a wonderful opportunity for short snippets of practice.  A great way of doing 30 seconds or so of something you want to engrain into your body memory.  Perhaps some breathing, a discreet stretch, healing sounds, smile (secret or otherwise).

 

Liminal

[Rara]

Im just asking whether you would take take advice on the issue of your stress, -either from me or someone else.

You said no , maybe jokingly , but also you were willing to entertain an answer.

 

Maybe its not a big issue for you , (I dunno. It is for many) and we could just talk about you , and your not-so-unique stresses.

If its not, then the answer would pretty much be moot , yes?

 

If you put yourself on rollercoasters , well, that is a paradigm which likely wont change with a change in employment.

Sure folks act differently in different circumstances .. but often its just a matter of time before we return to a similar paradigm to that which we left. If you agree with this.. then the whole thing is humongously not moot.

No, I understand you fully. I guess I didn't come across that way, but I am aware that this is mainly about the way I handle things in the first place, which will be universal anyway unless I address this.

 

I still don't know where I said "no" though...

[Rara]

It can help to just slow down. Not necessary to change what you do in life, but just take your time at it and aim to be more chill and easy going. Instead of rushing about like a chicken with its head cut off, for instance, just go from point A to point B and perhaps breathe and notice something pleasant around you. Take time for little pleasures, like a cup of tea, within your day. Flow smoothly.

 

Also, you don't know when you'll get done with work...but you do eventually get done. And then you have some time when you could meditate or practice at that point. Or...if you know you have to be up at 6am or something, then you can go to sleep and get up a bit earlier in order to fit in a practice then. There is time for what you want to do.

 

Time management is hard. But you can make time, and your schedule will fit around it...you'll make it happen.

This is very useful, thanks. There is and interesting thing that PLB said that is loosely releated as well which I have overlooked so will answer that next to elaborate.

[Rara]

When the time is mostly my own, those things suddenly become more difficult.

In fact, this is a huge problem for me! The fact is, I had a whole day to do duties at my own leisure yesterday and I think I spent that sleeping in, cooking breakfast, then spending 6 hours behind a computer, most of it doing nothing...trying to slap myself into getting on with it.

 

Everything got done, but it was soul destroying. And I know I could have been more productive.

[Rara]

Hi Rara.

Being self employed you work for a very hard boss.

Thing is buddy what would you do if you stopped?

The lows are low but in your line of work the highs must be incredible.

Might you not miss those?

I was dreaming of retiring and stopping work.

More time for me and more time for cultivation.

Fact is, so far; I'm bored off my bits a lot of the time.

Don't miss work but do miss workmates, my students and the 'crack'.

Think before you jump my friend and all good wishes to you whatever you decide to do.

There just isn't enough money in it anymore to be sacrificing the anti social hours though. I'm missing out on lots of other things that I want to do...

 

E.G My Aunty's 80th is this weekend and I haven't seen her in over a decade. I miss her and feel honoured to have my own invitation (as I used to go along with my parents) Plus, who knows how long she has left? But I can't afford to get back for it...it's been a slow couple of months for business and I have to work - no choice!

[3bob]

when one is largely tied up in the world then practice could largely be of karma yoga - since the contemplative, in nature types of practice are more suited to a contemplative in a nature type of setting.  (which it doesn't sound like you can drop everything for in taking a retreat in nature like around the ocean beaches, mountains, lakes or forests )

[Stosh]

No, I understand you fully. I guess I didn't come across that way, but I am aware that this is mainly about the way I handle things in the first place, which will be universal anyway unless I address this.

 

I still don't know where I said "no" though...

First words , post 5  " Haha, no...go ahead ".

Yep its in good humour , and heck ! its a thing I figure I would be likely to say myself.

 

In my case, I do mean it on a basic level,, that while I would listen , I really dont tend to take advice.

Its not that I think the advice will always be bad or useless,, its that I cant really know if the advice is going to be solid, so what would be the point in abdicating my own responsibility on making the decision.?

Still , there are times that I take advice ,, ironically,,  its from a often from someone who has diametrically opposed opinions to my own.

Since I personally couldnt figure my way out of the conundrum , then asking someone who thinks as I do , is likely not to lead me out of it.  Whereas someone who has different ideas , may have come up with the ticket for that situation.

 

In my initial post , I didnt want to find myself pontificating , I just dont know whether you already have solutions you feel good enough to hold pat on.. OR whether you would want advice.  I've jumped in on enough conversations, to know that blurting out platitudes , or commiseration , long spiels about abstracts etc   can be rather unwelcome. 

Some ideas really require some time to ferment, understanding may require folks to walk along together down a logical path.

I want to slow down a bit , make sure we are on ,and stay on, the same page.

But if you already have a plan in progress to just get out of the current situation comfortably , you will have dealt yourself a fresh hand ... just don't play this new hand same as the last. The way you break those old habits will probably require you to examine the validity of them. Both the pros and cons.

EX   Seriously ,, Why DID I drive myself up the wall over this? Do I think its worth it ? Who is it that suffers if I screw up a job, Would I still be sacrificing my free time if I didnt let- some thing or other -slide? Is the multitasking actually fun as well as productive ? Does anyone REALLY give a shit If I am a multi-tasker, and even if they WERE impressed for a fraction of a second ? or are they just going to go back to worrying about their own responsibilities the very next second? 

If your actions really do not conform to your ideals , well ,, maybe your values are not what you think they are. 

In light of what your values really are , does it matter at all what Stosh thinks?

[Rara]

First words , post 5 " Haha, no...go ahead ".

Yep its in good humour , and heck ! its a thing I figure I would be likely to say myself.

 

In my case, I do mean it on a basic level,, that while I would listen , I really dont tend to take advice.

Its not that I think the advice will always be bad or useless,, its that I cant really know if the advice is going to be solid, so what would be the point in abdicating my own responsibility on making the decision.?

Still , there are times that I take advice ,, ironically,, its from a often from someone who has diametrically opposed opinions to my own.

Since I personally couldnt figure my way out of the conundrum , then asking someone who thinks as I do , is likely not to lead me out of it. Whereas someone who has different ideas , may have come up with the ticket for that situation.

 

In my initial post , I didnt want to find myself pontificating , I just dont know whether you already have solutions you feel good enough to hold pat on.. OR whether you would want advice. I've jumped in on enough conversations, to know that blurting out platitudes , or commiseration , long spiels about abstracts etc can be rather unwelcome.

Some ideas really require some time to ferment, understanding may require folks to walk along together down a logical path.

I want to slow down a bit , make sure we are on ,and stay on, the same page.

But if you already have a plan in progress to just get out of the current situation comfortably , you will have dealt yourself a fresh hand ... just don't play this new hand same as the last. The way you break those old habits will probably require you to examine the validity of them. Both the pros and cons.

EX Seriously ,, Why DID I drive myself up the wall over this? Do I think its worth it ? Who is it that suffers if I screw up a job, Would I still be sacrificing my free time if I didnt let- some thing or other -slide? Is the multitasking actually fun as well as productive ? Does anyone REALLY give a shit If I am a multi-tasker, and even if they WERE impressed for a fraction of a second ? or are they just going to go back to worrying about their own responsibilities the very next second?

If your actions really do not conform to your ideals , well ,, maybe your values are not what you think they are.

In light of what your values really are , does it matter at all what Stosh thinks?

That will be my insecurity coming out....something else I'm working on!

 

But one thing that I know is that I want to change aspects of me that I feel are damaging myself. This is my mindlessness, struggle to cope well with stress etc but the important thing is that I need to listen and adopt some teachings to help here. Of course, change of career can never change these things about me...these are just things I need to change regardless. Not taking advice would be foolish of me.

 

On the other hand, I will change career but definitely won't take the advice!

[Stosh]

Ha ha ha yep you aint unusual in that!

I really do hope the new circumstances pave the way .

But soul searching , well ,back in the olden days..

Im thinking one spent more time on it.

Now a days ,not so much.

But youre a bright guy, youll be fine

Whatever comes ,yes?

Think on this , a while , when you look at you

Who is it ,that the pain belongs to ?

And would he be be better off without it?

Edited March 7, 2015 by Stosh

[Rara]

Ha ha ha yep you aint unusual in that!

I really do hope the new circumstances pave the way .

But soul searching , well ,back in the olden days..

Im thinking one spent more time on it.

Now a days ,not so much.

But youre a bright guy, youll be fine

Whatever comes ,yes?

Think on this , a while , when you look at you

Who is it ,that the pain belongs to ?

And would he be be better off without it?

I wonder if people did devote more time to soul searching in the past...or whether we just tell ourselves this.

 

But sure, honest self-evaluation is very important here, and I suppose it is time to start actually listening. And I mean actually listening...not just pretending to myself that I am.