Something Wonderful To Think About

[DreamBliss]

I have decided to move, as much as possible, from coming here every time I have a question, and instead consult what I call The Voice Inside. I am using an inside out approach, to the best of my ability.

 

That means that when I do come in here to post, it will be to share. At least that is the intention I have set. Something occurred to me, just a few moments ago, that I wanted to share. Something I feel is truly amazing and wonderful.

 

First, some assumptions... Linear time is experienced only while in a physical form. Outside of the world of forms, all time is one. Past, present, and future. Also everything starts as energy before it becomes physical. Finally when we desire something it comes into being energetically.

 

Let's say that right now, at this moment, maybe a few of you out there feel as I do. Alone. Lonely. Nobody to share your life with. Like me you want someone to share your life with. Maybe, like me, circumstances seem to prevent you from finding, or being found by, anyone.

 

You go into town and it seems everyone has someone to walk with. There are couples everywhere, walking hand-in-hand. You find a blog and see a picture of the very beautiful poster, and her boyfriend. It may seem as though everyone has someone, except you.

 

But here's the thing... Even if every single person you would label as desirable "out there" had someone, there can still be someone "out there" for you. There always will be. How, you may ask?

 

Very simple. If, outside the physical, all time is one, past, present and future, then it is possible for someone to come into the world, sometime in what you would think of as the past. For that person to grow up, and come into your life, in what you call your present.

 

In other words, your desires now, in this present moment, can affect the past, the present, and the future!

 

Even if that person found someone else along their way to you, another person could come into existence the exact same way and find their way to you. You are not limited to just one person all your life. There is no, "the one."

 

Instead there are multiple people, at different times in your life, that will fit with you during each time. There always will be. There can never be any lack of people, because they can infinitely come into existence as long as you are desiring someone to share your life with.

 

In other words, you never have to be alone or lonely. You never have to fear there are not enough people out there, so that you can have someone to be with. There will always be someone, more likely several someones, who will be the right ones for you to be with at this point in your life.

 

Only religious and societal beliefs limit us to one person. You may be with several people, all at once, or at various times in your life, in any combination. If you can accept the assumptions I have stated, then you can know that there is always hope. It is never hopeless, you are not consigned to be alone the rest of your life.

 

The only thing you have to do is to be allowing, open and receptive. Just be yourself, having faith that the person or persons who fit best in your life, at this time in your life, are right there, and somehow, in some way, you will get together with them.

 

There is no need to give up on life, to shut down or end your physical existence. No matter how it may appear right now, in this moment, the truth is that there will always be at least one person "out there" for you.

 

Time is not static. It is dynamic, and always changing!

[doc benway]

Another wonderful thing to consider deeply - alone and lonely are not the same thing.

 

We can be terribly lonely in a crowd or even with the one we love. And learning how to be properly alone is the antidote.

[seekingbuddha]

You  have  had some insights  into  partnership.   First of all,  i want to say "rejoice in your realizations".  I get a feeling that you  miss having a loved one.  So, i want to give you a simple exercise.  Please take a survey,  using the people who are close to you (friends, family,  office-mates you can trust etc). Each of these survey takers must have been previously (or currently) in a long-term relationship  (like more than 5 years).    Ask  each one,  "Are  you more happy  in your  relationship when compared to the time  you were alone  as a child" ?   Let them laugh and talk, and listen to their comments  about  relationships. 

 

True  happiness/joy/peace  stems  from  our own mind.   After much struggle,  I realized  that one causative condition for such inner-tranquility  to  arise  is  seclusion.   You are viewing  seclusion  as  loneliness,  because  your mind  is craving  for  a partner,  rather  than  rejoicing  in the  loneliness.   I completely  understand you,  because  I have felt what you feel,  when i was younger in age  and  experiences.   It  is better to be alone,  rather than being with a wrong  partner in life.   Contemplate on  Steve's  words  - they  carry wisdom.

 

May you find the happiness that you seek, and grow from it.

[Marblehead]

Another wonderful thing to consider deeply - alone and lonely are not the same thing.

 

 

That's worth repeating (over and over again).

[4bsolute]

When I think about it, I use my mind.

 

My mind consists of both past and future.

 

In my human state I can only assume a future, consciously.

And I can take out what I already know, out of my past, my subconscious mind.

So in the end, I fantasize. Some individuals call this "creating".

But how effective is it?

The assumed future has no real substance to it, since we all know how wonderful and colorful a day-dream can feel like and the real application feels Totally different. And when I think, I usually utilize my past. So I think always in the past. Nothing new is ever thought.

Thought is simply a reflection of what already happened, so it is eternally the past. Can you see this? This moment right here and right now can not be thought about, because it is so fresh. It can only be experienced directly.

 

Do you see the human dilemma, especially today in our modern world? People "think" they live, but they do not. They think. Living means being right here in this moment and experiencing. Making a direct experience with life. That does not require a setup, a preparation. Can never, how could it be?

 

How can you think about what will happen in the very next moment? You can only assume it from what you already know.

 

Do you see where this leads? It is an endless loop. Endless repetition. Do you see the "humanity" in all of this? How all of our trends are ruminated over and over again? How nothing profoundly new is ever invited? How could it be? It can only happen Without the use of thought, through a clear knowing.

 

 

Please, please reflect upon it and see what so many of you do all the time and call it normal.

Edited March 31, 2015 by 4bsolute

[seekingbuddha]

Couple  of  observations  came  in my mind, which i wanted to add to this thread:

1. Your  first 3 paragraphs are the most important, i felt.  They  seem to be the most useful, when reflected from my own experience.
2. I have noticed that many meditators have some kind of insight into "time".  The  content / words / perspective varies from person to person,  but i do see the pattern of  discussion abut time arising to many.  I suspect this could be a hallmark /milestone,  in terms of progress in the path.  This  "time insight"  happens  spontaneously, without reading about it or thinking about  time (sometimes ?).

[DreamBliss]

More of Something Wonderful To Think About

 

We live in a world of duality. That means for everything that exists, its opposite also exists.

 

If you are interested in someone, and you have consulted your inner guidance (in whatever form that may take for you, from listening to your heart or talking to God) and have received the words or thought that this person is not the right one for you at this time in your life (likely you will have already had this thought in the back of your mind before you even asked about it), in that same instant there exists someone who is.

 

In other words, you can not have someone who is not the right person for you at this time in your life, without also having someone who is. One can not exist separately from the other, in a world of duality.

 

Tying that in with what I said earlier, even if in the unlikely chance that there was nobody else on earth compatible with you before you found out that this person you are interested in is also not compatible with you, the second you verify the existence of someone who is not compatible, someone could be born in what you would perceive as your past, grow up, and exist now, in what you perceive as your present, someone who is.

 

You may feel it is hard to find someone who is the right person for you. But you can always, without exception, find someone who is not the right person for you. As long as you can find someone who is not the right person for you, there has to be someone who is.

 

Also it would do not good for someone to be the right person for you who lives in Alaska when you never venture outside of some small city in Italy. So a number of things come built in to the person who is the right one for you.

 

They will be someone you have access to, in whatever way is best for you, or that you desire. They have to be, or they wouldn't be the right one for you. If you travel, they will be in the range of your travel. If you stay in one city, they will live in that same city. If you are confined to your apartment, they will likely be in the same building.

 

They will also be someone you are, or can be, or will be, attracted to. Maybe not initially. Sometimes we look at something, or someone, and immediately decide we dislike it. If it is a pair of shoes you may hate them at first. Then you find, after a month or so, you wear them all the time and they are your favorite pair of shoes. This can happen with people as well. The one who is the right one for you at this time may not initially be someone you would consider.

 

So there is no reason for you to ever give up. You never have to kill yourself just because you can't find anyone. If you find even one person who is not the right one for you, in the instant you confirm this and know it for sure, there is someone who is. That person will be within easy access of the natural flow of your life, although you may not be aware of them or recognize them at first.

 

In other words, you don't have to go out hunting for them. They will be right there, somewhere, within the range of your life, as it currently exists, or, if it is changing, according to that change. They will be at your place of work, at the restaurant you enjoy going to, your coffee shop, somewhere along the route you take to go to work, at your local grocery store, in your building, or at the park you visit, or along the country road where you live.

 

You may not meet them, or they may slip under your radar. But that is OK, because as long as there is someone who is not the right person, there is someone who is, at all times, all through your life, ad infinitum.

 

I find this particularly encouraging, because I live two and a half miles or so from a small town, on a country road, and I don't drive or go out socially. I rarely leave the house in fact, and am pretty much confined to the property, unless I decide to bike out on the road around what I call the loop. So somewhere nearby there has to be a female who is the right one for me at this time in my life. Because all around me are females who are not.

 

Now I am not 100% sure how I am to cross paths with this person or persons. I don't know how to apply this knowledge at a practical level just yet. I know it has something to do with being open and receptive. Taking any opportunity that comes my way. Being aware and present of what is going on around me as I flow in the natural course of my life. Somewhere, out there, is the female who is the right one for me at this time in my life, even for someone as isolated and sheltered as me.

 

I think it is something like this phenomena, where you are looking at a particular type of car, or buy one, and all of a sudden you see that same care everywhere. An even better example for me is the bus. The bus has been running in this small town for at least as long as I have been here. It has been coming into and going out of town on a regular basis. But I can't think of one time I ever saw it, until I took my first ride on it. Now I notice it whenever it passes by or I pass it. It simply didn't exist for me until I rode it, even though it was always there, and had been there the whole time.

 

In a similar fashion the one who is the right one for you may not exist for you right now. But that does not mean they do not exist. They do, you are just not aware of them. You don't know they are there. You do not notice them. But they are there, and the moment you find even one person who is the right one for you, your perception will change, and you will see others, because there is no “the one.” There are multiple people who are the right ones for you all through the various stages and times of your life.

 

Don't give up. If you have found even one person who is not the right one, there must be someone who is. Remember that on noticing someone who is not the right one, you will notice others who are not, because your perception has changed. But for everyone who is not the right one, there is someone who is, so remember this and take heart.

 

Be open and receptive. Be aware and present as you move through the natural flow of your life. Take any opportunities that feel right, do not allow fear to control you. Somewhere, easily accessible, is at least one person who is the right one for you at this time in your life. Greet each morning with the question, “Wouldn't it be nice if I meet the right person for me today?” No expectations, setting deadlines or taking control. Just an open question that does not require an answer. See what happens.

Edited April 5, 2015 by DreamBliss

[Marblehead]

So, to summerize:

 

Love the one you are with until you can be with the one you love.

[DreamBliss]

I guess, but to me that is a little discouraging. Sort of like telling someone to, "Buck up!" or "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!"

 

It may be good advice, but it does not encourage. It doesn't give you a reason why you should.

 

I can't think of a good way to use your saying with this. I just know it is not enough to instruct someone to love themselves until they can be with the one they love. It is carrot-on-a-string hope.

[Marblehead]

I guess, but to me that is a little discouraging. Sort of like telling someone to, "Buck up!" or "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!"

 

It may be good advice, but it does not encourage. It doesn't give you a reason why you should.

 

I can't think of a good way to use your saying with this. I just know it is not enough to instruct someone to love themselves until they can be with the one they love. It is carrot-on-a-string hope.

I won't argue with what you said as it likely is how you feel at the present.

 

However, we need to love.  That is my opinion.  And it is also my opinion that we should love ourself, including all our flaws at the present time.  Flaws can be overcome.  And it is also my opinion that we really can't love someone else unless we love ourself.

 

No, I can't give you any advice regarding loving yourself.  That's something you have to find within yourself.

[DreamBliss]

I actually agree with you.

 

But knowing that for every person out there who is wrong for you, there has to be someone right for you, gives the person who needs it a reason to, "Love the one you are with until you can be with the one you love."

Edited April 5, 2015 by DreamBliss

[Nungali]

 

If you can find out what (appropriate for you)  women want, and cultivate that in yourself .... and if the expression of that is really part of your joy to express ( that is, that is really what you want to do, so there is no falseness) then women will be 'magically' magnetically attracted to you. 

 

 

Then again, it could be something 'in the stars' ... once my astrology said " Oh-O! No love for you until this passes. " I went about 9 months without as much as a human hug. Within a week of it passing I had 3 GFs (and they knew about each other and were cool with that ).

 

I was a virgin until I was 20 ..... so that was a bit of a wait too   

 

 

Now ?   No  amourous women around for aaages   .....  ahhhh  !   It is a nice break ( and a good rest after the last one; half my age and with 3 young boys !

 

Actually  DB ... she was looking for a husband  ....   

Edited April 5, 2015 by Nungali

[seekingbuddha]

Beware  of  the traps  created by  perceptions,  thoughts  and feelings.  For they are forever changing - which means that you won't   have the same thoughts, perceptions  or feelings  after 10 years down the road.   This also means that the  "person who is right for you  now, at present moment",   will  not be the right person for your 10 years down the road  because  she would have changed  (alongside you).  

 

Forgetting all the word plays,  and focusing  on the development of mind,  thus  attaining  tranquility/stability/equanimity  leads to more happier  life than depending on external  source like  "a partner".   This  is what is inferred  by  others  when they say  "Love  who you are".  It  is  my  experience  that  excessive  craving  (even if  it is for  getting a compatible  partner)  leads to delusion  and  unhappiness (eventually).  This  is what we are all learning,  by  hanging out in forums  like this  and understanding the words  of  the Fully  Enlightened.   Having  realized  some insights,  you will automatically  attract the attention of  females soon (if you continue and progress in mind).   You can have your  pick,  but use your  wisdom, for long term  benefit.

[Nungali]

... and I promise not to analyse  the analogies  of 'getting used to wearing a shoe' and not knowing the bus existed until one rides on it  with relations with women 

[DreamBliss]

Nungali
Thank you for that last post. You made me smile and laugh, and I needed that.

seekingbuddha
I am sure you are speaking a truth. You may even be speaking my truth, even though I do not recognize it. But I just can't do that. I can't work on my inner self in the hope that someday, when I have done enough, she will come into my life. I would not want to live that life, to have that life experience.

Life is not worth living, if all I am doing is improving myself or seeking enlightenment. I honestly do not feel that is why I am here, and that is not the life I came here to experience. If I could choose between self-improvement, enlightenment and someone to share my life with, I would choose someone to share my life with, over these and even over money and everything else others treasure.

The path of the religious follower is not my path, and neither is the path of the monk. I am determined to enjoy all this life has to offer, because, to my mind, life is mean to be enjoyed, not simply endured.

Edited April 6, 2015 by DreamBliss

[DreamBliss]

Changed my mind, deleted this.

Edited April 6, 2015 by DreamBliss

[Marblehead]

... and I promise not to analyse  the analogies  of 'getting used to wearing a shoe' and not knowing the bus existed until one rides on it  with relations with women 

If the belt fits the belly is forgotten; if the shoes fit the feet are forgotten.

 

Yes, many times in my life I have worn the wrong size belt and shoes.

[idiot_stimpy]

My natural state of mind keeps me company. It has no boundaries or beginning or end. It is the Alpha and the Omega. In it, I find my rest.