Where do I find guidance?

[dc9]

I am having a hard time freeing myself from my ego on my own. I can barely meditate for longer than 30 minutes at a time. My mind is always wondering to bad places throughout the day. My emotions have been absolutely crushing me lately. That sense of worthlessness is becoming overwhelming.

 

Is there any place I can turn to in order to find guidance from a skilled teacher? A type of guru? I don't care what system he teaches, as long as I can learn it and it can help me be free. I have been to retreats before, and to classes, and either the teacher is not skilled enough or the teacher is focused on way too many people.

 

I know I don't have much spiritual attainment, but I am willing to throw almost everything away to stop my suffering. Surely that makes me a desirable student to have to a teacher who is looking for dedicated students and not just out to make money?

 

Where can I go to find somebody like that? I am in the bay area in california. I really would like some help.

[Songtsan]

Isn't B.K. Frantzis somewhere near there?

[MooNiNite]

do what causes you to realize yourself while you do it.

 

look past future and past, and go into the present, do what you enjoy doing. and then turn it into your work. 

 

find what causes you to realize yourself while you do it. meditation can help. working can help too. 

[MooNiNite]

suffering is only ones detachment from their spirit soul.

[Songtsan]

Keep coming here for good advice too. We may not be a formal Sangha, but you can still find many gems and pearls of wisdom if search among this Group Mind.

[ThisLife]

Check out Wayne Liquorman in the Los Angeles area, (if that isn't too far from what you call the 'bay area.')

 

http://www.advaita.org

 

He gives free satsangs in his own house three or four times a week, and they're also televised live on his website above so you can see if what he's saying makes any resonance with you. There's one today, (Tuesday) at 2:00 pm, for instance.

 

I've attended five of his weekend courses over a number of years, and found he makes the best personal connection for me of any teacher I've come across.

Edited May 12, 2015 by ThisLife

[maldor]

 I am willing to throw almost everything away to stop my suffering.

 

You don't need anyone. If you are that willing meditate for longer than 30 mins. Don't be soft, don't look for excuses to stop. You are not helpless so push yourself and stop to ask yourself everytime you want to stop what you are doing this for.

 

Or do what you want ...

[Songtsan]

Your own impetus will guide you that is true. First, know the root source of your suffering. Can you find it in a single moment? What do you find?

[dc9]

You don't need anyone. If you are that willing meditate for longer than 30 mins. Don't be soft, don't look for excuses to stop. You are not helpless so push yourself and stop to ask yourself everytime you want to stop what you are doing this for.

 

Or do what you want ...

 

It's not so easy even if I want to, which I do. My mind has a very good way of tricking me to end sessions early, every single time, no matter how much I tell myself I'm going to meditate longer.

 

Check out Wayne Liquorman in the Los Angeles area, (if that isn't too far from what you call the 'bay area.')

 

http://www.advaita.org

 

He gives free satsangs in his own house three or four times a week, and they're also televised live on his website above so you can see if what he's saying makes any resonance with you. There's one today, (Tuesday) at 2:00 pm, for instance.

 

I've attended five of his weekend courses over a number of years, and found he makes the best personal connection for me of any teacher I've come across.

 

LA is about a 6 hour drive, I am more closer to the SF area. He doesn't do long distance teaching does he?

 

Your own impetus will guide you that is true. First, know the root source of your suffering. Can you find it in a single moment? What do you find?

 

I believe I know very well what makes me suffer. Low self esteem and self worth, combined with a strong desire to be a person of high status in this society. I hate who I am, but I desperately want to be someone with a lot of materialistic worth(money, women).

 

I don't want to have those loathings and desires. I recognize the transcient nature of those desires, and the irrationality of my low self worth. I want to abandon them, but some part of me clings on too tightly.

[Silent Answers]

Sounds like you're just making progress to me. In your late 20s by any chance?

[doc benway]

I'll disagree with some other advice you've received and say that it sounds as if you would benefit from some credible and skillful guidance.

There is a masterful Bon Buddhist teacher in the Bay area - Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche.

He travels constantly, teaching mainly in retreat format around the world - mostly in the Americas and Europe.

I don't know if he does any 1:1 teaching and I don't know how much he teaches locally.

He offers both secular (3 Doors Program) and more traditional, "religious" (Bon Buddhism) approaches.

He offers many free learning resources on his website (ligmincha.org) and is currently doing a year long free monthly webinar teaching based on practices related to Tibetan soul retrieval and the 5 elements.

No one method is right for everyone but I can attest to the efficacy of the Bon methods in my own.

The teachings are particularly effective for dealing with the out of control thoughts and emotions.

In the beginning you may feel as if you need direct personal guidance and a lot of "hand holding" - not true.

If you are open to the practices and put in the time and effort, you will find that you need relatively little direct guidance.

Good luck.

[Jetsun]

Many teachers will do 1 to 1 sessions by Skype these days. 

 

http://marliescocheret.com/contact Is Hakomi trained while also being an awake teacher 

 

http://www.michaeldamian.org/ A clinical psychologist also awake spiritual teacher

 

http://stephanbodian.org/ Same as above

 

But the fastest way to work with the mind I have found is probably the Work of Byron Katie, which I found to be surprisingly powerful and especially useful for those who find meditating difficult http://thework.com/do-work it is just a simple way to dismantle the thoughts and belief structures which cause most of your suffering and it can be done on your own.

[Daeluin]

Sometimes spending a day or two out in nature is all one needs.

 

Especially if we live near highly populated areas, the energetic momentum we develop can become very unnatural, and as we attempt to deepen our inner peace, before long we feel compelled to go with the direction of our habits and the predominant flow our our environment.

 

But when we're out in nature, as that habit energy feels threatened and desires to change gears... well... one is in the middle of the woods. Further, the flow of this environment is much more likely to help one find peace. So rather than fighting the ego and the environment, one is supported by the environment.

 

Also, I am a firm believer that if we work on maintaining sincerity, and set an intention to allow ourselves to be led to the right teacher, within a few years we will somehow end up in proximity to the teacher that is right for us. If we look externally, we get what's on the surface. If we look internally, we find what is hidden.

[noonespecial]

I am having a hard time freeing myself from my ego on my own. I can barely meditate for longer than 30 minutes at a time. My mind is always wondering to bad places throughout the day. My emotions have been absolutely crushing me lately. That sense of worthlessness is becoming overwhelming.

 

Is there any place I can turn to in order to find guidance from a skilled teacher? A type of guru? I don't care what system he teaches, as long as I can learn it and it can help me be free. I have been to retreats before, and to classes, and either the teacher is not skilled enough or the teacher is focused on way too many people.

 

I know I don't have much spiritual attainment, but I am willing to throw almost everything away to stop my suffering. Surely that makes me a desirable student to have to a teacher who is looking for dedicated students and not just out to make money?

 

Where can I go to find somebody like that? I am in the bay area in california. I really would like some help.

 

I dont think a guru is what u need brother. And the ego isnt a bad thing either, we have them for a reason, just observe your thoughts, make note of them and keep going.

[Songtsan]

Comparisons are real joy killers. Identification with subject/object dichotomies always creates that sense of incompleteness. There will always be something better than what you have right now if you think about potentials unfulfilled. Still, there is a way to steal potential without chasing after it. I also recommend Tibetan Buddhism. One can always approach optimizing all facets of life as if it is a duty and responsibility, vs. Self-centered approach with thoughts of name, fame or gain. If you can see outside and inside as the same, with nothing higher or lower, but striving to be virtuous whenever possible, just trying your best, how can your illusionary self feel lacking? Then, when you can, let that go....

[AussieTrees]

Namo Amitabha Buddha

 

Hi dc9,

Attachments,desires=overwhelming worthlessness,crushing emotions.

 

Do we not live in samsara,this world of illusion.

 

Our transient lives,what is our goal?

 

You are your own master,free yourself,releasing desires and attachments,you will be at peace.

 

There is meditation in many activities,not just sitting,eg gardening,woodwork,or walking,really any pursuits that captures us fully,and to our surprise many hours have past.

Often only stopping due to interruption or needing to attend elsewhere.During such activities we have been consumed in activity,even forgetting to eat/drink,along with ourself.

 

Observing this world using our senses,the people,skies,trees,animals,we can learn,they teach us.

 

When a master is found,willing to teach.How long will it be,before we begin to have doubts of such master.

 

These are thoughts inspired by opening post,my thoughts.

 

Blessings to all

 

Humbly juls

[noonespecial]

This world is an illusion/matrix stuff drives me bonkers, if u walk in front of a bus what kind of illusion will occur. lmao.

[Songtsan]

Illusion just means temporary, unreal, ephemeral.... Form is inherently empty. No fixed self. Not to say that it isn't also real at the same time, but nothing ever stays the same one moment to the next. You can't step in the same river twice. Devoid of characteristics, what can be named is not the thing that is named. Honestly, I don't know!

[noonespecial]

Illusion just means temporary, unreal, ephemeral.... Form is inherently empty. No fixed self. Not to say that it isn't also real at the same time, but nothing ever stays the same one moment to the next. You can't step in the same river twice. Devoid of characteristics, what can be named is not the thing that is named. Honestly, I don't know!

 

what does it mean to say form is empty though, if i'm empty and the bus is empty, that emptiness is still going to kill my emptiness. likewise what does it mean to say nothing ever stays the same, maybe that was deep 2500 years ago in central asia, but i think we've come to grips with the vastness and flux of the universe.

Edited May 12, 2015 by noonespecial

[RiverSnake]

Say a prayer to your guardian angel.

[maldor]

You are you're mind. You have the ability to control what you do.

 

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what anyone says you have to guide yourself. You know this. If you find yourself distracted don't fret about or get frustrated just simply start again. Practice and persist.

 

It may be a good idea to reinforce your goals everyday by saying to yourself what you want to achieve and that you can and will achieve it.

 

If you tell yourself it is difficult it will become more so.

 

I am not telling you anything you don't already know here. It is just a case of you reinforcing this in your mind and willfully directing yourself.

[Songtsan]

Your self that can be killed is an illusion, it has no permanency...this is your impermanent self saying that it can be killed. This is true. No one is saying that getting hit by a bus won't generate pain energy, or that your form won't be altered quickly vs. Slowly. The question is, what is there that cannot die? What is there that is unborn? The unborn cannot die. If you want to find peace, find the acausal. Everything else that is causal is temporary.

[Lataif]

This can lead to a certain kind of question that I asked myself 40 years ago.

If (as it seemed) I can't follow through on my intentions . . . even though in my better moments I know that I should . . . what can I do about it (?)

Can I make an decision (when I'm at my best) that "forces" me to do what I know is good for me (even when I'm not at my best) (?)

Consider this "Twilight Zone" episode, in that context:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6p1I8_qFyY

Edited May 13, 2015 by Lataif

[Daeluin]

Nothing is illusion. Everything is real. All is one.

 

Everything has permanency - it may change, but does that change mean it no longer exists? Is the new shape not formed by its history? Does that history not go all the way back to the root of oneness?

 

The illusion is simply layers of obfuscation that have reshaped what is true, again and again. Transcending the illusion is not abandoning these layers, but seeing how what is true exists within them.

 

If we abandon one thing for another, we separate from the whole.

If we accept and merge all things into one, we refine all things back into their true, non-illusory state.

 

If we abandon dark for light, we maintain polarity between dark and light.

If we abandon what is old and dirty and replace it with what is new and clean, we create a situation where what does not serve us grows bigger and bigger, while what we desire becomes more scarce.

If we abandon our shadows and demons for our bliss and angels, we create separation between the higher and lower parts of our soul, and when we die our soul is incomplete, and we eventually return to what was left behind.

If we clean what is dirty, we work on integration and dissolve stagnation. 

 

If we accept our shadows and demons and summon great courage and sincerity to follow only what serves us, we allow the demons to show us what they would do, and we say - OK, but that doesn't serve me - I will not fight you, but I have no interest in that - then we gradually cleanse our shadows and the demons are no longer a part of us, and we reclaim the territory they once inhabited, integrating light and dark as one into clarity, emptiness, peace, reuniting our higher and lower souls into one that follows what serves according to what is needed, able to find peace both through meditation and interaction with the physical world, accepting all, ever cleansing and refining as we go along our way.

 

In acceptance to our own natural way, our way guides us through the illusion to what is true. Guides us to face our fears in acceptance and sincerity. It just takes time. Cycle after cycle, patiently listening and accepting, and we begin to see the change unfold as old patterns fall away naturally without fighting them. Trust yourself. Accept yourself. Serve yourself. Your true self. The self that is not your wants and desires, but your essence and nature, the deepest part of your heart covered up by all the layers of trauma and fear - just be patient, have courage, and face everything between you and this place - just face it sincerely with acceptance and trust and all the barriers will dissolve.

[Songtsan]

Great post....here are some funny Songtsan thoughts: If I cut off my hand, and ship it overseas somewhere, can I be said to be in two places at once? Or am I still where I think/feel I am, and is the hand in its box now just an object that I class as 'other?' - a mostly dead (let's say I place it in ice...the cells will still be alive for some time after I cut it off)...another thought: if I have my head chopped off cleanly and in one slice, will the head still be conscious for a second or two? That would be an interesting experience.....