My theory on the 11:11 phenomenon

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

 

Songtsan learning balance and composure?

 

I guess it could happen...

 

11.11

 

Yeah.

 

I won't dispute anything Maldor or other sceptics have to say about self selection and so on.

 

But I used to get this a lot.

 

One day the counter on my washer dryer read 111 (it only had 3 digits). It made me wonder, so I immediately turned around and of course the time on the kitchen clock read 11.11. I kinda liked that one.

 

And my "event" happened on 11.11.11.

 

I wish it hadn't, it's too strange.

 

No, don't ask.

 

...

[munky]

.

Edited August 23, 2023 by munky

[Michael Sternbach]

It keeps happening to me since I got involved with this thread. Let me have a look at my computer's watch now... it's 1:11 p.m.!

Edited May 30, 2015 by Michael Sternbach

[Nungali]

Mine says 8:20 ....    I will be back in  2 hrs and 51 mins .to finish this post  ...

[Michael Sternbach]

Nikolai1 and Songtsan... Don't overwhelm me with your feedback!

 

 

And the planet that the Tarot Fool is usually associated with happens to be Uranus, which is also assigned to Aquarius, the 11th sign... See how it all works together?

 

 

Sure, my fellow Sagi. After I'm done with Songtsan.

 

Hello BES,

 

You are one of those individuals who happen to have two Tarot Trumps based on their date of birth. They are both quite lovely ones, may I say.

 

Let's look at your Personality Card first, which describes, well, your persona, or how you interact with others. The Universe (XXI).

 

 

Besides the funny coincidence of there being a snake central to the picture - the card reveals that feeling and being at one with your environment, indeed with the world, is a big theme of yours. The card, on one level, is showing the "Mystical Union".

 

As for your Soul Card, this is The Empress (III).

 

 

She stands for love, beauty, creativity - and sometimes motherhood plays a great role in the life of a female with this card.

 

By the way, doesn't her lower half look somewhat snake-ish?

 

Moreover, you too have an annual card, which is The Hermit (IX) (shown in a previous post). This is typically experienced as a time of seclusion and search for answers to life's deepest questions (such as may be found on TDB - sometimes ).

[blue eyed snake]

Hello BES,

 

You are one of those individuals who happen to have two Tarot Trumps based on their date of birth. They are both quite lovely ones, may I say.

 

sometimes I would like to be somewhat more usual...I was once told that I'm a triple Sagittarius, and to let my horoscope be cast by someone who was really good at it, I never did  

 

 

Let's look at your Personality Card first, which describes, well, your persona, or how you interact with others. The Universe (XXI).

 

 

Besides the funny coincidence of there being a snake central to the picture - the card reveals that feeling and being at one with your environment, indeed with the world, is a big theme of yours. The card, on one level, is showing the "Mystical Union".

 

shhhh, snakes everywhere, inside and outside.

I've always been attracted to snakes ( and lizards, and the last years salamanders, beautiful little beasties, able to live both in the water and in the air, they live in my garden(pond)

 

 

As for your Soul Card, this is The Empress (III).

 

 

She stands for love, beauty, creativity - and sometimes motherhood plays a great role in the life of a female with this card.

 

By the way, doesn't her lower half look somewhat snake-ish?

 

The bird on the downleftside? what is she called. It reminds me of eh...some ( christian?)  symbol of (mother)love, she is picking at her own heart until she bleeds?? But i do not remember the name, not even in dutch.

 

Moreover, you too have an annual card, which is The Hermit (IX) (shown in a previous post). This is typically experienced as a time of seclusion and search for answers to life's deepest questions (such as may be found on TDB - sometimes ).

 

 

The hermit is somewhat familiar to me, though all the cards i know are from this deck

 

 

Your cards stir something in me, I'll have a long look at them and sleep on it, Then you'll hear more from me.

 

thanks for doing this,

Bes

[gendao]

It means you are consciously becoming aware of Jungian synchronicity and our underlying, nonrandom, supersymmetry.

[noonespecial]

The bird on the downleftside? what is she called. It reminds me of eh...some ( christian?)  symbol of (mother)love, she is picking at her own heart until she bleeds?? But i do not remember the name, not even in dutch.

 

Pelican

 

This active working with the soul forces is perfectly pictured in the Pelican. The Pelican is shown stabbing its breast with its beak and nourishing its young with its own blood. The alchemist must enter into a kind of sacrificial relationship with his inner being. He must nourish with his own soul forces, the developing spiritual embryo within. Anyone who has made true spiritual development will know well this experience. One’s image of one’s self must be changed, transformed, sacrificed to the developing spiritual self. This is almost invariably a deeply painful experience, which tests one’s inner resources. Out of this will eventually emerge the spiritual self, transformed through the Pelican experience. The Pelican was in this spiritual sense a valid image of the Christ experience and was used as such by the early alchemists.

 

“Using consciously the forces of the etheric body.”

 

http://www.levity.com/alchemy/alcbirds.html

 

THE EMPRESS

 

She is Binah, Understanding, the Sanctifying Intelligence, termed “the foundation of Primordial

Wisdom,” because Divine Wisdom proceeds from that perfect understanding of Itself (REFLECTIVE) and of Its power through which Spirit purifies and completes all its creations. This purifying power is associated with Water (represented by a stream and pool in the background of the picture), and Binah, as the “root of Water,” corresponds to the Great Sea –Prakriti, Aphrodite, Mare – Mary. She is also the Salt (THE BODY) which is the active principle of that Sea {UNCONSCIOUS/PRIMA MATERIA}. ~Paul Foster Case

 

http://www.hermetics.org/pdf/intro.pdf

Edited May 31, 2015 by noonespecial

[Nungali]

  

 

Obverse. 

 

There is a reverse side to this jewel -  the 'other side of the story' - but no pics of that.

 

The reverse and obverse nature are reflected in the apron

 

 

 

 

Yes, the blood giving pelican is an apt symbol, although of course nothing like that actually occurs.

 

The blood given up is one's advancement;  stopping to give the time and energy to help others, much as a Bodhisattva - one who has attained and could 'go on', but 'comes back' to help others 'go on'. Obviously a R+C symbol.

[Nungali]

 

Pelican

 

This active working with the soul forces is perfectly pictured in the Pelican. The Pelican is shown stabbing its breast with its beak and nourishing its young with its own blood. The alchemist must enter into a kind of sacrificial relationship with his inner being. He must nourish with his own soul forces, the developing spiritual embryo within. Anyone who has made true spiritual development will know well this experience. One’s image of one’s self must be changed, transformed, sacrificed to the developing spiritual self. This is almost invariably a deeply painful experience, which tests one’s inner resources. Out of this will eventually emerge the spiritual self, transformed through the Pelican experience. The Pelican was in this spiritual sense a valid image of the Christ experience and was used as such by the early alchemists.

 

“Using consciously the forces of the etheric body.”

 

http://www.levity.com/alchemy/alcbirds.html

 

THE EMPRESS

 

She is Binah, Understanding, the Sanctifying Intelligence, termed “the foundation of Primordial

Wisdom,” because Divine Wisdom proceeds from that perfect understanding of Itself (REFLECTIVE) and of Its power through which Spirit purifies and completes all its creations. This purifying power is associated with Water (represented by a stream and pool in the background of the picture), and Binah, as the “root of Water,” corresponds to the Great Sea –Prakriti, Aphrodite, Mare – Mary. She is also the Salt (THE BODY) which is the active principle of that Sea {UNCONSCIOUS/PRIMA MATERIA}. ~Paul Foster Case

 

http://www.hermetics.org/pdf/intro.pdf

 

 

Just as a side point  of interest ... this 'watery bird' has its counterpart in fire with the phoenix.

 

It can be seen as the 2-headed 'eagle'  (the emblem of the 'Senate', 30th degree ,'Knight Kadosh', etc.  )   in the above Empress card  , but also appears in its more fiery form in the Emperor card of that deck.

 

Put together, the two birds have interesting and historical symbolism.

 

 

 

 

 

sorry for the diversions ....

 

 

back to tarot ...

 

 

I mean, back to 11 :  11 

 

 

 

         :     

 

 

 

[Nikolai1]

Nikolai1 and Songtsan... Don't overwhelm me with your feedback! 

Sorry Michael - been having a weekend break! But I've got lots to say on your tarot reading..

 

First;. thanks a lot!

 

Second: the image of the Hermit which was based on my birthday resonates a lot. In fact I can not think of an arcehtypal figure that describes me better than the hermit.  Outwardly, I'm not a hermit at all.  And even though I've craved solitude my whole life it just hasn't been my fate to have it. I've spent my adult life living with friends (until 28) and then after that with my own family.  Now, with three kids, honestly weeks can pass and I don't even get one hour on my own. Very occasionally, I get to go food shopping without one of the kids but that is as far as my hermitry goes.

 

But the most essential part of me, the most important, is my search for spiritual truth.  I am nothing other than this search: everything else is just grist for the mill, data for the search.  And in this sense I am alone, very, very, very much alone - and I always have been.

 

I grew up a family totally dominated by simple aims to be met by simple means.  Money is everything to my parents.  if they have a problem, money is the solution.  Their problems are always simple deficit states, and all their deficits can be met financially.  They are unreflective atheists, but with none of the passion for truth and reality that many atheists have.

 

Up until age 16 I pretty much absorbed the values of my family, although doubts started to creep in, also the reality of death.  But I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my parents would be unable to resonate with any questions of any depth and would find the attempt unpleasurable.  I had friends who slightly understood the uncertainty of this life, but not with the acuteness that I did.  I learned around this time to split myself into a daytime Nikolai, who went along with things, and a nightime Nikolai who was searching passionately for answers.

 

I have never reconciled these two sides.  I have never met in real circumstances a person with whom I can share even a small quantity of what I have discovered. Even my wife, is neither interested nor understands.  Perhaps I am so much the hermit that i don't need any to share with.  I don't know.  But the point is, I am a true hermit.

 

Four years ago, I had just decided to quit my career as a psychologist (this was my ill-fated attempt to harmonise the two Nikolais professionally) and my wife was at the end of her own contract (also a psychologist). So we decided to move the family to her home country Finland.  I knew from the outset that moving to Finland would be my hermitage.  This would be the place where I could kill off the daytime Nikolai, the everyday guy with everyday values.  

 

Five hours north of Helsinki, we live in a small town surrounded by a monochrome land of boundless forests.  Eastwards they spread unbroken for many thousands of kilometres right across Russia.  It is a land of bears, wolves lynx, and a culture where for millenia the people have worked round the clock in the short summer months, then sat in silence through the winter.  The language is baffling, almost unique in the world, the culture is baffling, the people are alien and despite what others might think are not Europeans but more like a northern Siberian or Asian race.  Even their physiology is different.  Yes, Finland was my hermitage.  I learned enough of the language to go shopping, and then stopped learning.  The language barrier was the lake around my island.  It was time to die to self.

 

Four years later, I feel the task is completed.  I no longer have questions. I am no longer a seeker but one who has found.  Like Nietzsche's Zarathustra 'I am weary of my wisdom, like the bee that hath gathered too much honey; I need hands outstretched to take it.'

 

Next month we return to the UK, and I need to entirely rebuild my life.  I have no idea how it will happen, all I know is that I cannot return to the old Nikolai - the one I used as a device to survive in this world.  He's gone, but I have no idea what the new will look like.  In the last year, my only experience of speaking my truth has been here on this website.  I have no idea how I am received, maybe some understand me and others don't.  But the good thing is that I now know that there are many people in this world who are fundamentally addressing the same concerns and that I don't need to be a hermit anymore.

 

Michael, you mentioned another card, the lust card. it didn't resonate and I found it hard to understand.  So I tried to add the numbers myself and came out with 20 which I guess would reduce to 2, not the 11 you got.  I'll sit with the Lust card some more and see if anything comes.  

 

Many thanks again.  I always knew I was a hermit, but it is fascinating that my birthday tells me the same.

[blue eyed snake]

thanks all for responding, i've been giving it 'thought' . Meaning that first I've been looking at the pictures, then i slept, and now I've bee doing some reading for myself.

 

You all know far more of it then I do, so i'll give my associations which give me some more insight in the 'what/ whuffor' of my life

 

I found a nice place to look at the thoth-cards in big pictures where the details have a better visibility. It surprises me that the cards 8 ( strength or lust) and 11 ( justice or adjustment) have changed places in the order.

 

I'll respond to your posts one by one, that way I can slowly unravel my own associations with it.

 

And I wanna thank Nikolai, who's not complaining ( seemingly) that his thread is going far offtopic

[blue eyed snake]

Thanks noonespecial,

 

I read this yesterday so that gave me time to look at some more pictures. And indeed it isthe pelican, symbol seemingly buried deep into my mind.

 

and this is the picture that rose up in me

 

 

https://edmundsiderius.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/emblemata-an-iconographic-overflowing/

 

interesting i find this part of the text: <<While this is not too far from the generally accepted iconography of the pelican there are others that diverge significantly from this symbolic norm. One emblem in particular “Pelikan baut sein Nest auf dem Boden” Pelican: builds its nest on the ground. This diverges from almost every other pelican emblem, only preserving the nest in its symbolism. Rather than espousing the virtues of self-sacrifice, as even the more secular emblems of its kind tend to, it warns against hubris, citing the placement of the pelican’s nest (which itself varies from emblem to emblem).>>

 

The warning against hubris touches me/ is relevant....also this comes from a germanspeaking place, close to my birthground.

 

Pelican

 

This active working with the soul forces is perfectly pictured in the Pelican. The Pelican is shown stabbing its breast with its beak and nourishing its young with its own blood. The alchemist must enter into a kind of sacrificial relationship with his inner being. He must nourish with his own soul forces, the developing spiritual embryo within. Anyone who has made true spiritual development will know well this experience. One’s image of one’s self must be changed, transformed, sacrificed to the developing spiritual self. This is almost invariably a deeply painful experience, which tests one’s inner resources. Out of this will eventually emerge the spiritual self, transformed through the Pelican experience. The Pelican was in this spiritual sense a valid image of the Christ experience and was used as such by the early alchemists.

 

“Using consciously the forces of the etheric body.”

 

http://www.levity.com/alchemy/alcbirds.html

 

yes, i can see what you mean with this text, but my association was somewhat broader. The suffering of a person before (s)he more or less consciously starts to tread the path can be an indispensable first step. That at least was my first association with this image.

Interestingly your link provides a connection with the phoenix mentioned by Nungali

 

 

 

THE EMPRESS

 

She is Binah, Understanding, the Sanctifying Intelligence, termed “the foundation of Primordial

Wisdom,” because Divine Wisdom proceeds from that perfect understanding of Itself (REFLECTIVE) and of Its power through which Spirit purifies and completes all its creations. This purifying power is associated with Water (represented by a stream and pool in the background of the picture), and Binah, as the “root of Water,” corresponds to the Great Sea –Prakriti, Aphrodite, Mare – Mary. She is also the Salt (THE BODY) which is the active principle of that Sea {UNCONSCIOUS/PRIMA MATERIA}. ~Paul Foster Case

 

http://www.hermetics.org/pdf/intro.pdf

 

I did not read the link that you gave, but the mentioning of sea and salt resonates with me, thank you. For me the sea is like the living womb that gave birth to all of us.

Edited June 1, 2015 by blue eyed snake

[blue eyed snake]

Everything that comes up seems to have sides and dual character.

 

  

 

Obverse. 

 

There is a reverse side to this jewel -  the 'other side of the story' - but no pics of that.

 

The reverse and obverse nature are reflected in the apron

 

 

 

looking on the web i found this image

 

 

with this text:

 

<<18° - Knight Rose Croix: This degree teaches that, in reality, what causes us to be  immortal is affection; is love. Only if one loves is he  conscious that he lives, and that he therefore loves life. As Masons, we should practice virtue that it may produce  fruit. We should have faith in God, mankind and  ourselves. And we should be loving men. Masonry teaches that, so long as a man is loved, so long as he is remembered with love; he continues living in this way even in his grave. And a brother who conveys this image  and this message >>

 

 

Yes, the blood giving pelican is an apt symbol, although of course nothing like that actually occurs.

 

The blood given up is one's advancement;  stopping to give the time and energy to help others, much as a Bodhisattva - one who has attained and could 'go on', but 'comes back' to help others 'go on'. Obviously a R+C symbol.

 

There is a 'problem' with this...

 

Many a woman ( and men too, i think) is taught to love and to give unconditionally. But when this giving occurs without a healthy base, the giver gets depleted of her own resources, she becomes totally empty of love, of anything. This because she hadn't learned. wasn't taught that she needs to love herself, care for herself so that she able to give away love etc. to others.

In wich case the symbol of the pelican begets a different meaning, that of the mundane person, giving until she dies. Without being able to replenish herself.

 

At the root of this, is a closed heart.

 

the saying: " Love yourself like your brother" pops up.

But also the chinese proverb: the wise woman waters her own garden first.

 

what is an R + C symbol?

[blue eyed snake]

The thoth cards have a very different quality than the rider-waite deck which is pretty 'romantic in comparison

Thoth is more 'raw' and seems to me filled up with symbolism more, gotta get used to it

 

You are one of those individuals who happen to have two Tarot Trumps based on their date of birth. They are both quite lovely ones, may I say.

 

persona and soul...

persona i will regard as the : what i am ( or should be) in this life on the mundane level. The 'what of me' that radiates out, visible for other people.

 

soul..what is soul? it feels  as the inside, the 'what i have to learn' in this life

 

 

Let's look at your Personality Card first, which describes, well, your persona, or how you interact with others. The Universe (XXI).

 

 

Besides the funny coincidence of there being a snake central to the picture - the card reveals that feeling and being at one with your environment, indeed with the world, is a big theme of yours. The card, on one level, is showing the "Mystical Union".

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/crowley/tarot_images/universe.jpg

 

I have been looking at this card a long time, it is indeed true that feeling and being at one with my environment is an important aspect of me. As  a child i could merge so well in nature that i was not to be found if i didn't want to. Also i didn't loose my way, nature beings always helped me. But on another level, this image indeed speaks of more.

 

The woman stands with her right foot on the head of the snake. Together i can see they form a lemniscate, they are in an infinite dance with each-other. They dance in the circle of the universe, with a background of greenery which i feel represents mother earth. The head of the woman is enclosed by a light square, this reminds me of something out of the secret of the golden flower. 

eh..something like the square thumb in the square foot. Thereby meaning the forehead center in the field of the head ( or something...)

the way her head is shaped seems to point to some brain structure..i dunno, no clear association there.

downside there is a houselike structure, like humanmade

the four heads around the picture I seem to remember as having to do something with the four gospels, but the association i have is that of the four sides of the compass.

 

 

As for your Soul Card, this is The Empress (III).

 

 

She stands for love, beauty, creativity - and sometimes motherhood plays a great role in the life of a female with this card.

 

Motherhood has been very important and draining to me. It's finished now and i am free to tread my own path. Love beauty and creativity....somewhere in me, there is a well that should give these qualities. I associate this with the balance between male and female in me. Now I may learn to be female, and thereby fulfilling the meaning of this card.

 

Noonespecial gave me this text:

<<She is Binah, Understanding, the Sanctifying Intelligence, termed “the foundation of Primordial Wisdom,” because Divine Wisdom proceeds from that perfect understanding of Itself (REFLECTIVE) and of Its power through which Spirit purifies and completes all its creations. This purifying power is associated with Water (represented by a stream and pool in the background of the picture), and Binah, as the “root of Water,” corresponds to the Great Sea –Prakriti, Aphrodite, Mare – Mary. She is also the Salt (THE BODY) which is the active principle of that Sea {UNCONSCIOUS/PRIMA MATERIA}. ~Paul Foster Case>>

 

this is more than i dare to think of... i never wanted more of life than a partner and a family...

 

looking at the card i see the pelican, on which i already commented. Two sliver moons, for me representing the female and the circular balance. The endless spiral that life is. Her green skirt is the green of mother earth. She has the blue lotus holding at her breast. I gather that to mean that compassion is balanced with wisdom. It interest me that her headdress is the same as that of the priestess of the rider-waite deck, that seems to support my idea of compassion balanced by wisdom

 

Moreover, you too have an annual card, which is The Hermit (IX) (shown in a previous post). This is typically experienced as a time of seclusion and search for answers to life's deepest questions (such as may be found on TDB - sometimes ).

 

 

do I understand well that my annual card of last year was adjustment?

 

 

When i was a young girl, 11 years, one of my sisters let me look at the rider-waite deck. She told me to choose the three cards that i felt the most attraction to...one of those cards was the hermit. Much later, housecleaning, my son laid his hands on my deck...i've  always kept it, but after my 18th  never used anymore. I told my son to be careful with them and look at them. He chose the hermit as the most attractive card...even made a drawing of it, even though drawing was something he abhorred.

 

And it is a fitting card for this year, i'm struggling with loneliness even more than in the rest of my life. but on a new/other level.

 

I like the picture, he's surrounded by corn, which will turn to gold by his own light. The three headed dog seems to me the symbol of death, the dying of a part of me that is no longer needed 

 

I also see a spermlike thingy...something that is going to be born...

 

and, a snake, encircling a clear golden light 

 

thank you Michael, this was a worthwhile experience

[Nungali]

Everything that comes up seems to have sides and dual character.

 

No it doesn't

 

Yes it does.

 

 

 

looking on the web i found this image

 

 

with this text:

 

<<18° - Knight Rose Croix: This degree teaches that, in reality, what causes us to be  immortal is affection; is love. Only if one loves is he  conscious that he lives, and that he therefore loves life. As Masons, we should practice virtue that it may produce  fruit. We should have faith in God, mankind and  ourselves. And we should be loving men. Masonry teaches that, so long as a man is loved, so long as he is remembered with love; he continues living in this way even in his grave. And a brother who conveys this image  and this message >>

 

Thats a funny little comment on a very big subject.   It seems to talk about the emotive content of supporting an eidolon - like the Egyptians used to believe ... and just about everyone since - preserving  memory, emotions,making offerings, a special place, a statue, etc. causes the dead to live on.

 

I could write hundreds of pages on this subject before I got to something like the above quote. 

 

 

There is a 'problem' with this...

 

Many a woman ( and men too, i think) is taught to love and to give unconditionally

 

I disagree ,  we are told to love unconditionally , rarely are we taught  how on earth are we going to achieve that. (Or maybe we are 'taught' that in a no longer relevant way ? ) .  But I agree it is a problem !

 

 

. But when this giving occurs without a healthy base, the giver gets depleted of her own resources, she becomes totally empty of love, of anything.

 

yes, and I have lived through and tried to help another's despair with this, more than once, in the realm of mothers and children.

 

I believe the same happens in this area ;  people assume they are programmed to deal with parenthood. Not usually IMO, it has to be learnt, especially for the young. In some cultures and families, the young are expected to take part in looking after their younger siblings. A young girl having a baby has a village and auntie support network, etc. 

 

This level ( pelican    )  is not for beginners .... it is 18 (out of 33)  or 5 (out of 9 ) degree level. Not for beginners - you have to train develop and pass the previous degree levels before one can start beginning  to practice this, by then you should have some tools to be able to deal with what arises ... oh, stuff will arise  all right .

 

 

 

This because she hadn't learned. wasn't taught that she needs to love herself, care for herself so that she able to give away love etc. to others.

In wich case the symbol of the pelican begets a different meaning, that of the mundane person, giving until she dies. Without being able to replenish herself.

 

Yes. Good observation !   The reverse side of the apron represents the ' preliminary horror' one traverses and triumphs over first

( the 'black room' )  to get to this 'state'  . It is enacted as some sort of trail where things try to drag you down.   

 

The relevant variations of the rite are now published (if you can find them on the net ) and can be looked up and studied ' FM - 18th Deg,   GD - 5 = 6 ,  ( ....  =  11     ) ,  OTO - 5th Deg,    etc. 

 

This first stage - which has a lot to do with 'clearing'  the 'lower astral' can also be summed up by this old evocative hymn ; 

 

http://hermetic.com/crowley/equinox/i/i/eqi01011.html

 

 

 

 

 

At the root of this, is a closed heart.

 

 

Heart is a pump .... it pumps in , then out. If you  have 'pump in' closed, its going to run out of a supply eventually. Fortunately the supply, if you can connect to it, is universal, endless and cyclic.  

 

 

 

the saying: " Love yourself like your brother" pops up.

But also the chinese proverb: the wise woman waters her own garden first.

 

Indeed, there is a lot of preliminary work before this level, actually, its on a whole different plane to the preliminary stuff.

 

You look after that garden of yours ... and before long it will produce more than enough food and you can start distributing.

 

 

what is an R + C symbol?

 

 

Aside from the above symbols ? Just about any form of cross and circle , as simple as 

 

 

 

or 

 

 

 

[Michael Sternbach]

Thank you Nikolai1 for your extensive post. It is very interesting; it characterizes The Hermit brilliantly...

 

No worries about the delay. I guess you were partying very hard celebrating your birthday. All the best for this new year of your life!

 

Talking about your last annual card, well, the method used by all Tarot readers that I know of for calculating it is the one I outlined above. However, there are two different schools of thinking regarding the order of the cards Adjustment (Justice in most other decks) and Lust (often Strength). Their order in the Thoth deck is the same like in the very old decks, but the Golden Dawn scheme followed by Waite switched the two cards. So if, for the moment, we assume that the GD was actually right about this, your past year should have been one where the theme of finding and keeping inner balance was prevalent.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Michael Sternbach

[Nikolai1]

Hi Michael,

 

 I guess you were partying very hard celebrating your birthday. 

Actually it was Songtsan's birthday over the weekend, but I shall pass on your regards to him

 

I've got another 3 months yet..!

[Nungali]

< imagining what one of Songtsan's birthday parties would be like ....  >

[Nikolai1]

Hi Nunglai and Bes,

 

yes, and I have lived through and tried to help another's despair with this, more than once, in the realm of mothers and children.

This issue of drain and personal resources is a very tricky area, and I think any therapist will find themselves encountering it time and time again.

 

Firstly, our resources available are proportional to our spiritual maturity.  A person who is very much in the egoic state of being in a world of time and space will automatically be low on resources.  Their consciousness is very individuated.  It therefore follows that any giving of love or assistance will at some level be believed to be squandered energy.  

 

On the other end of the scale, a person whose consciousness is liberally spread out across all selves will be able to vicariously appreciate the help they themselves give, as if they were the receiver.  Giving and loving is therefore a perfectly energising behaviour.  It is indistinguishable from being selfish.

 

When we have children, who are so close to us genetically and other wise, it often comes naturally that we gain energy through caring for them.  Their well-being is our own well-being, and this can come as a revelation. Childcare is a powerful yoga, and parents can often see the lack of this yoga in their peers who have not had children.

 

But, some people, like Nungali said, are not spiritually strong enough to have children.  They are so egoic that they still consider the care they give, at some level, to be squandered energy.  They may even say to their own children: "Do you have any idea what I have sacrificed for you?"  

 

When these egoic people are women an extra problem in our society occurs.  All their limited love goes to their children, and the father of the children, whether he is loving or unloving, can start to be viewed as an outright drain.  The woman becomes incapable of contributing any further to their adult-adult relationship, and may start behaving in ways to the father that are intolerably selfish.  Unless the father is a very strong person, with high resources, the relationship will fail and the women is left in an even more desperate situation as they will be the one left with the children  Subjectively, they may feel like they are the ones abandoned, but all this is due to them never learning the simple lesson: if you want love and energy, you need to give love and energy.

 

The therapy rooms are absolutely full of people telling the same old narrative: "I gave too much to others, and too little to myself.  Now I need to take more care of myself." This narrative is a very unfortunate trap.

 

If they were actually being selfless, they would not feel drained - quite the opposite.  They feel drained because they don't understand anything except the selfish mode.  It is intrinsic to their state of being, but they were forced into a caring role they weren't equipped for.  Any suggestion that it is now time to be more selfish will just delay the needed insight, growth and healing.

 

We have probably all noticed that the most selfish people in life are often full of indignation about other people's selfishness. And from their own perspective this will make perfect sense.  They will genuinely feel very drained.  It takes something very special and perhaps drastic to provoke the necessary change of heart.  In my experience, everyday therapy never had this power.  It must come from a different place, perhaps a place that despairs that even therapy can help.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Nikolai1

[Songtsan]

Interesting that both my birth date and birth name make me a 5...yeah, I had a crazy birthday...lots of entheogens, sex, music and dancing...no cake though..

[Michael Sternbach]

Second reply to Nikolai:

 

Sorry Michael - been having a weekend break! But I've got lots to say on your tarot reading..

 

First;. thanks a lot!

 

Second: the image of the Hermit which was based on my birthday resonates a lot. In fact I can not think of an arcehtypal figure that describes me better than the hermit.  Outwardly, I'm not a hermit at all.  And even though I've craved solitude my whole life it just hasn't been my fate to have it. I've spent my adult life living with friends (until 28) and then after that with my own family.  Now, with three kids, honestly weeks can pass and I don't even get one hour on my own. Very occasionally, I get to go food shopping without one of the kids but that is as far as my hermitry goes.

 

But the most essential part of me, the most important, is my search for spiritual truth.  I am nothing other than this search: everything else is just grist for the mill, data for the search.  And in this sense I am alone, very, very, very much alone - and I always have been.

 

I grew up a family totally dominated by simple aims to be met by simple means.  Money is everything to my parents.  if they have a problem, money is the solution.  Their problems are always simple deficit states, and all their deficits can be met financially.  They are unreflective atheists, but with none of the passion for truth and reality that many atheists have.

 

Up until age 16 I pretty much absorbed the values of my family, although doubts started to creep in, also the reality of death.  But I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my parents would be unable to resonate with any questions of any depth and would find the attempt unpleasurable.  I had friends who slightly understood the uncertainty of this life, but not with the acuteness that I did.  I learned around this time to split myself into a daytime Nikolai, who went along with things, and a nightime Nikolai who was searching passionately for answers.

 

I have never reconciled these two sides.  I have never met in real circumstances a person with whom I can share even a small quantity of what I have discovered. Even my wife, is neither interested nor understands.  Perhaps I am so much the hermit that i don't need any to share with.  I don't know.  But the point is, I am a true hermit.

 

Four years ago, I had just decided to quit my career as a psychologist (this was my ill-fated attempt to harmonise the two Nikolais professionally) and my wife was at the end of her own contract (also a psychologist). So we decided to move the family to her home country Finland.  I knew from the outset that moving to Finland would be my hermitage.  This would be the place where I could kill off the daytime Nikolai, the everyday guy with everyday values.  

 

Five hours north of Helsinki, we live in a small town surrounded by a monochrome land of boundless forests.  Eastwards they spread unbroken for many thousands of kilometres right across Russia.  It is a land of bears, wolves lynx, and a culture where for millenia the people have worked round the clock in the short summer months, then sat in silence through the winter.  The language is baffling, almost unique in the world, the culture is baffling, the people are alien and despite what others might think are not Europeans but more like a northern Siberian or Asian race.  Even their physiology is different.  Yes, Finland was my hermitage.  I learned enough of the language to go shopping, and then stopped learning.  The language barrier was the lake around my island.  It was time to die to self.

 

Four years later, I feel the task is completed.  I no longer have questions. I am no longer a seeker but one who has found.  Like Nietzsche's Zarathustra 'I am weary of my wisdom, like the bee that hath gathered too much honey; I need hands outstretched to take it.'

 

Next month we return to the UK, and I need to entirely rebuild my life.  I have no idea how it will happen, all I know is that I cannot return to the old Nikolai - the one I used as a device to survive in this world.  He's gone, but I have no idea what the new will look like.  In the last year, my only experience of speaking my truth has been here on this website.  I have no idea how I am received, maybe some understand me and others don't.  But the good thing is that I now know that there are many people in this world who are fundamentally addressing the same concerns and that I don't need to be a hermit anymore.

 

Rereading this, I am still moved. Not least, being a Hermit endows you with an extraordinary ability of introspection and self-awareness.

 

Michael, you mentioned another card, the lust card. it didn't resonate and I found it hard to understand.  So I tried to add the numbers myself and came out with 20 which I guess would reduce to 2, not the 11 you got.  I'll sit with the Lust card some more and see if anything comes.  

 

The Lust card - your current annual card - is symbolizing strength, vital energy and, most of all, life as passion. Of course, with some, there may be the danger of kicking over the traces, but  people tend to enjoy this time.

 

Now, as I mentioned before, there is a debate in the Tarot world going on about whether the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn was actually right to switch the numerical order of the cards "Adjustment" (more often called "Justice") and "Lust" (or "Strength"). I have seen cases of birth cards and annual cards where the switch seemed to make more sense but I haven't reached a final conclusion yet regarding this important issue.

 

In your case, if the GD order holds true, the current year of your life (a "number 11 year"), would be characterized by the Adjustment card, thus the theme would be balance and inner stability, whether this would be experienced or rather looked for; it is a very internalized and meditative state. Some people start doing Yoga or something like that in such a time. It is also conceivable that it ties in with the adjustment necessary when returning to your country.

 

What seems to be the better match? I would appreciate your insights on this.

 

In any case, I have found some hints that there is a strange kind of polarity happening between the numbers 8 and 11. In this context, it is curious that "8" is not only an upright lemniscate (or  infinity symbol) but could be seen as two Zeroes - whereas "11" consists of two Ones.

 

Many thanks again.  I always knew I was a hermit, but it is fascinating that my birthday tells me the same.

 

Yes, I have found the Tarot Archetypes derived from the date of birth very descriptive of every person I did this kind of reading for. My psychotherapy patients tended to strongly resonate with their cards. Also, the well known Tarot reader Mary K. Greer once wrote to me that she starts her in-depth sessions with an interpretation of these cards.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Michael Sternbach

[Michael Sternbach]

Hi Michael,

 

Actually it was Songtsan's birthday over the weekend, but I shall pass on your regards to him

 

I've got another 3 months yet..!

 

Ah yes... I guess I shouldn't be posting when I'm already half asleep.

[Michael Sternbach]

...

 

Songtsan learning balance and composure?

 

I guess it could happen...

 

Unless of course the Golden Dawn theory regarding the Trumps VIII and XI would actually be correct, because then Songtsan's new year of life, expressive of the number 8, would obviously be characterized by "Lust" (or "Strength" in the Rider Waite deck). (A funny reversal of the question to Nikolai1 btw - that's why I got confused about your birthdays.)

 

So which one is it going to be, Songtsan: Are you getting ready to seclude yourself in a monastery in order to meditate and purify yourself, or gearing up for wild orgies?

Edited June 2, 2015 by Michael Sternbach

[Michael Sternbach]

Interesting that both my birth date and birth name make me a 5...yeah, I had a crazy birthday...lots of entheogens, sex, music and dancing...no cake though..

 

Well, considering how the year started for you, it may be better characterized by "Lust" than by "Adjustment". Unless, of course, that is how you always celebrate your birthdays.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Michael Sternbach