manitou Posted August 31, 2015 I’ve been thinking about ego in relation to a dream I had decades ago, of a large vine growing on a pergola like structure. In the dream, I at first unhooked the vine’s tendrils from the roof of the structure, and when I had done this the structure started to lean and fall but I pushed it upright again. I take the tendrils to be the first emotional hijacker – (for me fear), and the structure to be ego, which was loosened slightly but which I quickly reinstated. I then unwound the vine’s branches from the structure, which I see as again loosening more emotional hijackers, again only to a certain level, and the structure again started to lean, and I again pushed it upright. So my ego structure was again loosened, but not enough, and quickly reinstated. Finally I came to the trunk of the vine, and it had grown up thick and entwined with the central supporting post of the structure. It was impossible to really see where the vine trunk ended and the structure started, they were so completely merged. I understand this to be my ego structure so closely entwined with my emotional hijackers such as desire and anger, and my persona, and other ways of being that I identify as ‘myself’, that it becomes almost impossible to sort out what is ego structure and what is self. In the dream I tried to prise the trunk and the structure apart, and I managed to the extent that the structure did start to lean and fall, but this time I didn’t try to push the structure back up, and as it fell the weight of the structure falling ripped apart the structure from the trunk of the vine. Then everything fell down, the structure and the vine, both disappeared, and in its place there was a fresh young vine growing, and in this moment in the dream I realised that the structure had never supported the vine, the vine had always supported the structure. So those deepest self identifications with ego were separated out from the ego structure, and ego finally wasn’t reinstated, and in the dream I was able to see that ego only existed in its relation to my emotional hijackers and persona and ‘self’, and once sufficiently separated the ego structure became unnecessary, as did my emotional hijackers, my persona, and other self identifications, leaving the fresh young vine which I associate with my ‘true Self’ free to grow unhindered, and with no need to reinstate ego. Thinking about this dream has brought me to think that there may be no actual ego battle, but instead for me a long series of loosenings and resolutions and disengagements with the ego structure on my path, and one day a last disengagement that brings the whole structure tumbling down, and the right frame of mind to just let the ego structure keep falling in that moment. What wonderful vision, bindi. I think you're right in your last paragraph. I don't think it's an all-or-nothing battle. I think it happens one day at a time, if we're mindful - and each day has sufficient problems and ego encounters for new progress. I wonder if that was what the Nazarene meant? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian Posted August 31, 2015 What wonderful vision, bindi. I think you're right in your last paragraph. I don't think it's an all-or-nothing battle. I think it happens one day at a time, if we're mindful - and each day has sufficient problems and ego encounters for new progress. I wonder if that was what the Nazarene meant? I agree. Our perception of "self" or "ego" or "I" expands and diffuses as we realign with the Tao and this is a "lumpy" process which is not free from setbacks along the way. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
