Practical ways to let go of attachment?

[Jetsun]

Yes, 'being trapped in the mind'. You said it and created the separation. You are not trapped in the mind, you are your mind and there is no trap. You are looking for a problem that does not and has never existed. You created the idea of 'the separate mind' which is separate from something else that you cannot define as you. You cannot be aware of awareness, or conscious of consciousness. That was all dealt with in some Buddhist writing of 'the eye seeing its own sight'. That's cognitive dissonance. You cannot 'rest' in primordial awareness because it is you that is aware and you must be aware of something. The idea that some other awareness, rests in awareness should be seen for what it is-separation. There is no separation between you and you. :-)

That is your current reality, that is fine. It doesn't match mine any more. It is possible to be aware of awareness but you are right that you are you take yourself to be can't do it, but it is still possible experientally.

[C T]

Yes, 'being trapped in the mind'. You said it and created the separation. You are not trapped in the mind, you are your mind and there is no trap. You are looking for a problem that does not and has never existed. You created the idea of 'the separate mind' which is separate from something else that you cannot define as you. You cannot be aware of awareness, or conscious of consciousness. That was all dealt with in some Buddhist writing of 'the eye seeing its own sight'. That's cognitive dissonance. You cannot 'rest' in primordial awareness because it is you that is aware and you must be aware of something. The idea that some other awareness, rests in awareness should be seen for what it is-separation. There is no separation between you and you. :-)

What you said is right, but its not actualised in a lot of us. If it was, there would not be such unhappiness, dysfunction, and disparity in the world today. 

 

Its one thing to say, "There is no separation between you and you", and an altogether different thing to live within that awareness. Perhaps you can, and the people you associate with can, but for the majority, the illusion of separation is very concrete. 

[Karl]

What you said is right, but its not actualised in a lot of us. If it was, there would not be such unhappiness, dysfunction, and disparity in the world today. 

 

Its one thing to say, "There is no separation between you and you", and an altogether different thing to live within that awareness. Perhaps you can, and the people you associate with can, but for the majority, the illusion of separation is very concrete. 

 

I'm aware of it because I lived it. I'm also acutely aware that it's impossible to simply throw that switch and for others to know this. Most people I associate with are unaware of the possibility of a false dichotomy in the first place-they haven't found it necessary to ask the question, or have any awareness that the question could exist. I think it is necessary to be curious in order to explore ones own existence in the way people are doing here.

[Karl]

That is your current reality, that is fine. It doesn't match mine any more. It is possible to be aware of awareness but you are right that you are you take yourself to be can't do it, but it is still possible experientally.

 

I answered that in reply to CT. There is first an unknowing of the question, then the dichotomy and finally unity.

The years spent in the wilderness of the dichotomy seem to be what all philosophers of the spiritual way seem to have done. Be it Jesus with the 40 days and nights, or Buddah under the Bohdi tree there is a period of time after years of searching, in which it all comes together in a matter of weeks.

[Karl]

There is a difference between consciousness and awareness.

Also just because you don't know something for sure it doesn't means others haven't made such a discovery

 

Yes there is, that is entirely true. Awareness is the active component of consciousness.

[C T]

I'm aware of it because I lived it. I'm also acutely aware that it's impossible to simply throw that switch and for others to know this. Most people I associate with are unaware of the possibility of a false dichotomy in the first place-they haven't found it necessary to ask the question, or have any awareness that the question could exist. I think it is necessary to be curious in order to explore ones own existence in the way people are doing here.

Curiosity is definitely a good quality, but it does need the component of maturity and discipline to couple it with if real spiritual growth is the aim. Its obvious from the many pleas for help on this forum that a lot of issues could have been avoided had people put some kind of check on their curiosity. And also, to explore that aspect of development within an authentic environment vis a vis accessing sound resources and reliable mentors with integrity. 

[Karl]

Curiosity is definitely a good quality, but it does need the component of maturity and discipline to couple it with if real spiritual growth is the aim. Its obvious from the many pleas for help on this forum that a lot of issues could have been avoided had people put some kind of check on their curiosity. And also, to explore that aspect of development within an authentic environment vis a vis accessing sound resources and reliable mentors with integrity. 

 

 

That made me giggle. Not in any sort of world is that ever going to happen. Excuse the biblical reference, but this was the whole 'garden of Eden' story of man having free will. What you are advocating is a well meaning, but erroneous, command and control structure to force people to adopt a more rational way of being in a 'suitable' environment-but who shall decide what that is ? Only another man with the same issues, it is the blind leading the blind. This is exactly where collectivism and cybernetics comes from-the idea that men can be made better to fit some dedicated purpose and will be happier for it. Any perusal of the communist way of life promised freedom through the use of bondage to the state-an obvious logical error which Orwell called double speak.

 

So, it is what it is and people must be allowed to make their own mistakes as often as they need to make them in order for them to discover things for themselves. We are all exploring and we have to grow from that experience. 'Many paths' it is said and that has to be true.

[idiot_stimpy]

Contemplating death is a good way to work on attachments. 

 

Nobody can win against death.

[Karl]

Contemplating death is a good way to work on attachments. 

 

Nobody can win against death.

 

Except cake.

 

[doc benway]

Being the 'thought' is quite obviously not who you are. Why would you use that as an argument.

Thought is what establishes the identity you cling to.

 

 

You can put an end to ignorance by constantly seeking to know reality. 

Precisely

[Karl]

Thought is what establishes the identity you cling to.

 

 

 

Precisely

 

You use an emotive term like 'cling' but it doesn't mean anything in this context. Existence and therefore identity is not bounded by thought. Identity exists apart from thought. I don't identify myself as any particular person, I'm simple aware that I have separate, identifiable existence. My thoughts are unique to me and therefore part of that whole, but they do not define my existence.

 

Philosophers have added a whole raft of uncertainty and introduced much error into the way people think of existence. Instead of figuring it out for themselves there is a tendency to incorporate the word of some man who is just as equally confused about why he is here. He didn't figure it out you can be certain of that, but never the less people will put inordinate faith on his words as an authority. Lots of 'idiots' ( in the context of those with unusually poor mental faculty) are very happy individuals, but none would seek to take their place, or replicate whatever damage they have to their cortex.

[doc benway]

You use an emotive term like 'cling' but it doesn't mean anything in this context. Existence and therefore identity is not bounded by thought. Identity exists apart from thought. I don't identify myself as any particular person, I'm simple aware that I have separate, identifiable existence. My thoughts are unique to me and therefore part of that whole, but they do not define my existence. Philosophers have added a whole raft of uncertainty and introduced much error into the way people think of existence. Instead of figuring it out for themselves there is a tendency to incorporate the word of some man who is just as equally confused about why he is here. He didn't figure it out you can be certain of that, but never the less people will put inordinate faith on his words as an authority. Lots of 'idiots' ( in the context of those with unusually poor mental faculty) are very happy individuals, but none would seek to take their place, or replicate whatever damage they have to their cortex.

We'll simply have to disagree, we clearly have different views and this territory has been covered enough for my taste. 

I don't want to derail this thread any longer.

Thanks for the discussion.

[Jonesboy]

Sorry for coming to the discussion so late.

 

Here are a couple of powerful techniques that I use.

 

The first being Samyama. I used this technique to quit my 30 year nicotine habit.

 

http://livingunbound.net/lessons-resources/level-2/techniques/samyama-and-self-inquiry/

 

The next technique is very powerful and is from a writing by Michael Brown.

http://community.livingunbound.net/index.php?/topic/472-working-with-emotions/

 

A much more in depth and step by step process is the 10 week course called The Presence Process. Very, very powerful.

 

Each of the above techniques will help one get past the mind stories and help deal with the energetic charge of the emotion.

 

A new technique that comes highly recommended to me is ETF Tapping. This should be a big hit here on this site.

 

Each of these methods have worked for me.

 

Best of luck,

 

Tom

[vtrader125]

Here is another thought, embracing those things that I resist. I've found that when I accept the me now, the results(even though they stink of failure) they are just that results. I don't pretend to be something I am not, When I embrace this now of not being the smartest, most intelligent, successful, attractive, wealth, etc etc,  I feel a certain freedom, a little spontunaity in myself. I feel just being myself a little more then before.

I feel like making improvements at my pace, I know I am not going to be the best, but I do this within my sense of freedom.

It's ok that I end up on my own, a loner, single, not amount to anything.

 

I've also feel like have no trouble telling people who think what I should be to "with respect go f^&k yourselves".

[Jonesboy]

Everything you just said is a thought. It is a thought that you believe in an attachment.

 

This thought is not you.

 

Take the thought of being alone. Pull up that thought and all the emotions.

 

Feel the emotions in your body, in your heart. Reside with it. Give that hurt love.

 

What you will notice is the thought of being alone goes away. You are becoming present and working with the energetic feeling that causes the mind stories that cause us pain.

 

Spend time doing this and you will notice how the "feeling" starts to integrate and go away.

 

Residing in the body prior to conversations allows one to feel the energetic body. Allows one to feel emotions as energy that comes and goes.

 

More importantly it allows us the ability to respond to our emotions and situations instead of reacting.

 

Hope this helps,

 

Tom

[vtrader125]

Sometimes seeing another human truly suffer kills all but a few attachments in that brief moment.

So much noise that blinds us to what really connects us.

[scribe]

Here is another thought, embracing those things that I resist. I've found that when I accept the me now, the results(even though they stink of failure) they are just that results. I don't pretend to be something I am not, When I embrace this now of not being the smartest, most intelligent, successful, attractive, wealth, etc etc,  I feel a certain freedom, a little spontunaity in myself. I feel just being myself a little more then before.

I feel like making improvements at my pace, I know I am not going to be the best, but I do this within my sense of freedom.

It's ok that I end up on my own, a loner, single, not amount to anything.

 

I've also feel like have no trouble telling people who think what I should be to "with respect go f^&k yourselves".

 

Yes. It is actually fine to be normal and boring.

[vtrader125]

Realization is the meta.

 

It is the awaking of being.

[AussieTrees]

and when you are ready,just let go:

[vtrader125]

Another perception on letting go

 

One of the few bodybuilders who have wisdom.

 

Edited September 24, 2015 by vtrader125

[CodyWizard]

Standing right in the middle of the storm, you are in your centre, like the eye of a tornado. The storm isn't doing any damage in your center until it grabs your parachute like baggage that your holding on to so dearly that you get carried away to the outter rim of the storm where the real damage is done.

 

Attachment in itself isn't necessarily bad or good. For example, you may have developed a relationship with someone important to you, and they leave to go somewhere else or die. It might hurt, as they were a part of your life, and you dont really want them to go, but it happens. This is a healthy and normal attachment.

 

But... holding on to the idea that because you feel like a failure means that you will never succeed is just kind of lame to be honest... Thats an unhealthy attachment. No one can do anything about that but yourself. Harness your inner tiger, and face failure. face it right in the face (lol), and say to yourself, "I dont care how many times I fail, im going to eventually do this". You've got to be totally willing to fail. If you have that kind of attitude, you've already won. Make a commitment dude, face failure, allow yourself to feel it fully, and do what you want anyways.

 

Do you think that succesful people have never failed or felt like a failure? Here is a reality check, there are people on the brink of success right now that feel the exact same way that you do, except the only difference is, they arn't letting it stop them.

Edited September 25, 2015 by CodyWizard

[Bud Jetsun]

Suffering is what defines the attachment (Fearing loss). 

 

Realize the nature of universal impermanence.  

 

To want is to suffer as to appreciate is to Love. If you wish to Love something, enjoy it Now in this moment, to not is to miss the only non-perception-delusion aspect of that thing.  Love/kindness is not a commodity stock item you can stockpile, the real component exists only in Now, it dies when clung to tightly (from replacing Love with fear), and it ceases to exist the moment it concludes manifestation in kind thought/action.  

 

There are only self-imposed limitations on ones choice of attachment.  Like every self-imposed obstacle, it is overcome at the instant of complete commitment to recognizing it was always a just a choice and it's equally possible to make a more self-compassionate one. 

 

Unlimited Love,

-Bud

[Jadespear]

When your in a middle of a emotional storm, is there anyway to put the idea of letting go of attachment in use?

 

I understand that should not deny what you are feeling in that moment, but how to you then move on to letting go?

 

I appreciate the power that letting go has, but that power only feels so when not in middle of the mental chaos. 

 

For example trying to apply for a job, but have a strong feeling of not being good enough, I know I don't have the skills or experiences for the role, this is like a heavy weight pushing me down. How do  I then move on?

 

Yes, there is.  But, you need to realize letting go is not an "idea", it is an action and an attitude that you must choose to embrace wholeheartedly.... there can be no confusion in you.  Simply lay down your worries or fears and move on.  

 

Feeling unqualified for something like a job is normal.  You may in fact be unqualified, but what does that matter after you have decided to pursue the job?  It's the same with anything else.... if you acquiesce to your own insecurity or your own self defeating mindset than you will continually your own prophecy..... albeit the "self fulfilling prophecy."  Letting go is different than working through your own inner attitudes and perceptions whether those things are real or not.  Letting go is more like not caring at all, about anything.... no outcome, or current situation that you think you cant control.... just forget about it.... if you cant forget about it, than think about something else.  If your mind cannot be still and aware than you will never be able to truely let go of all the movement that it does...