Bad trip... in a need for some bums wisdom

[Yinja]

*This can be an open discussion but you can pm me as well its up to you

*Im sorry for not being active on the forum except from bombing you with questions i just feel like in not far enough along the way to give advice.

*Formulation is not what i had in mind but you will have to excuse me im not all me at the moment.

 

Hi there

A week ago i drank from the WROONGGG water bottle in a festival (I've mistaken it to be alcohol because it had color in it... never mind) and god knows what was in it.

 

After the bad trip went off then came back with a toke of weed the day after and went down again i thought i was over with it but in the third day i woke up sahking and freezing with anxiety i didn't know exists and paranoia that is hard to ignore. ever since it comes back(a few times even with my pupils getting larger like there is some active stuff inside) every time a take a toke or drink some coffee and it seems that what triggers it the most is other peoples feelings.

 

I think i somehow like feeling other peoples suffering in some wierd way maybe my need to help.

and i have strong connections especially to girls ive slept with or have some type of strong relations with like my mom friends etc (90% women) 

In ordinary circumstanced i deal with it just fine and even enjoy the intimacy but now it seems to come at me enhanced 100 times stronger which is highly overwhelming.

 

My questions to you

I'd like very much to hear the bums point of view.

 

Can a bad trip hurt me for good?

Could it be an anxiety disorder that was buried inside me? (that would surprise me because i thought i have dealt with what down there)

Im a very good observer over my thoughts but find it hard to keep calm when it kicks in what would you recommend to do when it sets in? and basically and helpful piece of advice and words of comfort will be very much appreciated.

 

Thank you guys once more

Yinja

 

 

[Marblehead]

That's something that has never been a part of my life so I am not able to speak from experience.

 

Whatever it was you drank should get filtered out over time.  As has been said, whatever doesn't kill you can help to make you stronger.

 

Yes, I think you mental problems are mostly anxiety related.  Worrying what more might happen.  Do the best you can to ignore these thoughts whenever they arise.

 

And keep away from any mind altering stuff at least until you have regained normalcy.

 

Best wishes.

[Karl]

I would go see your doctor. You might be having the beginnings of psychological episodes possibly triggered by the drugs.

[Yinja]

Thank you Marblehead I do my best, its not easy but at list I know im on the right track. I do find a small amount of alcohol relaxing avoid all the rest.

 

Thanks Karl I still in a debate if to go to the doctor or not I recon he lack personal experience in the subject and also for the reason that for now I think its still safe to try and not make a big deal out of it, at list for now.  

 

Do you have anything to say on how to reduce my sensitivity perhaps?

Edited September 12, 2015 by Yinja

[Karl]

Thank you Marblehead I do my best, its not easy but at list I know im on the right track. I do find a small amount of alcohol relaxing avoid all the rest.

 

Thanks Karl I still in a debate if to go to the doctor or not I recon he lack personal experience in the subject and also for the reason that for now I think its still safe to try and not make a big deal out of it, at list for now.  

 

Do you have anything to say on how to reduce my sensitivity perhaps?

 

I have somebody in the family who began having problems in a similar way to the one you are describing. She had smoked some strong skunk which started things off. Prior to that she had been completely stable, popular, easy going and a high achiever. The drugs cooked something off and her personality became rapidly unstable until she had a serious breakdown. I hope that isn't your situation, but rather than wait for things to reach that point it would be better to seek medical advice earlier than later.

[Marblehead]

I agree with Karl but then I am also a follower of self-healing.  If we still have rational consciousness there is a lot we can do on our own.  You have choices.

[Karl]

I agree with Karl but then I am also a follower of self-healing.  If we still have rational consciousness there is a lot we can do on our own.  You have choices.

 

At least it's possible to do both at the moment. Later that choice might contract.

[Yinja]

Those are not words of comfort Karl hehe

I agree i shall see a doctor while not making a big deal out of it and creating myself a problem by just focusing too hard on it

though i think they have little to offer me i admit im a bit suspicious about meds but i might be wrong.

 

 Thanks you very much for your opinions  

[Karl]

Those are not words of comfort Karl hehe

I agree i shall see a doctor while not making a big deal out of it and creating myself a problem by just focusing too hard on it

though i think they have little to offer me i admit im a bit suspicious about meds but i might be wrong.

 

 Thanks you very much for your opinions  

 

Well at least you can listen to what is been said and make an informed choice. It might just be a bit of stress related anxiety, but until you get a diagnosis you will be in the dark.

[Andy_W]

For the time being and until you settle absolutely do not touch any alcohol or drugs of any kind. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Hopefully in a few weeks you'll settle down and if not then seek professional help.

 

Wish you well

[Aeran]

Start by stopping the intake of all drugs (except for those which are prescribed for you to take on a daily basis, which should be discussed with a doctor). This includes caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. You've already said they're setting off the symptoms, so by taking them you're just perpetuating your problem.

 

I would definitely recommend seeing a doctor - if you really did just drink out of the wrong water bottle at a festival (I'm trying to figure out why someone would lace a water bottle with a hallucinogenic, but stranger things have happened) then you could have taken pretty much anything, so the doctor is unlikely to be able to offer any specific advice, but it can't hurt.

 

If it's brought up specific anxieties about certain subjects, maybe seek out a psychotherapist and talk to them, try work through whatever it is that was brought up.

 

daobums is great, but probably not the best place for this kind of advice Try somewhere like http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forum.php

 

I would also avoid any intensive meditation or energy work type practices for a while, until you've had time to stabilize a bit.

[forestofclarity]

I agree with Karl about seeking professional advise.

 

It might also be unresolved trauma. I think everyone needs to learn how to process trauma. One good, proven way is Richard Miller's Yoga Nidra. It was developed in part by teaching it to homeless war veterans. 

 

Yoga Nidra

 

iRest

[Jetsun]

How recently did you take it?

 

You will be fine. Sometimes it takes weeks to recover from a heavy trip. Eat well, sleep well, be in nature and ground yourself and youl be fine.

[manitou]

In addition to all the great advice given here, please try going outside and laying face down in the grass (if there's grass where you live) - otherwise do it in the dirt.  Surrender yourself completely, relax every muscle, quiet the mind.  Pay attention to your breathing (hard at first, because you're face down - but soon it will get into a nice rhythm)   Get to the place of no-thought, if you can.

 

Envision waves of energy cycling through you from the earth.  When I do this I can actually feel it, feel the cyclical nature of the energy.  Sometimes you'll feel that the earth's magnetism is 'pulling' at your heart.  This is what you're looking for - a physical connection with the Mother.

 

Stay there as long as you can.  It may do a lot to relieve the anxiety.

 

Very best wishes.  Don't be a stranger!

Edited September 12, 2015 by manitou

[Yinja]

Im coming to the conclusion its best to seek professional help so I can be more knowledgeable about my situation thank you for being convincing about it

 

Aeran- I stopped taking any kind of drugs being careful even with sugar hehe. Ive read quite a bit in BlueLight probably the best place for me on the web I  came here to seek the spiritual side of things. 

 

Forestofemptiness-I wont be surprised if trauma is the case I was brave and as honest as I can be along my journey I guess it wasn't enough to reach there I will definitely give it a go.

 

Jetsun- Always soothing to hear that I was a week ago so for now I don't worry too much

 

Manitou- surrendering relaxing my muscles and quieting the mind was my first guess and the first thing I did I will go and find me some grass to lay on now :3

 

Thank you guys once more!

[Bud Jetsun]

A trip offers some perceptions. Its the beholders interpretation that assigns the label of good or bad.

 

If you take SSRIs or MAOIs or a variety of other "anti-depressants", they can combine synergistically with resulting effects going beyond the realm of the mundane and comfortable.

 

Often the trips initially labeled "bad" offer the most potential for humility and positive life changes when the experience is integrated.

 

What made this trip "bad"? Was this your first tripping experience?

 

Unlimited Love,

-Bud

 

Edit: Im not an expert, my advice is no better than any others, but perhaps spend some time alone in nature and meditate on integration of whatever the experience offered.

Edited September 13, 2015 by Bud Jetsun

[Unseen_Abilities]

If it was a random water bottle (O.P could you plz confirm this??).god only knows what was in it - are you okay now? No severe flashbacks- no feelings/recollections of amnesia, rape symptoms,etc? Iknow of LSD cults around the traps who will,you guessed it, spikePEOPLE,GODDAMNIT,with LSD and use.horrendous Voodoo with psychological tactics to make you forget,well,being raped and.tormented,you could say..to say this is unrealistic with the account you've given of what happened would be mistaken in cold,hard reality (I've been there myself! similar experiences some years ago!)0.but do NOT just assume that's right either.thank you...the symptoms of being especially or unusually connected to those people/women you've slept with,etc. are along those lines...either way (read:whatever's really happening inside you right now - which is upsetting, I understand..)0 be sure to AVOID smoking pot(if you can,bonghead.;)of course you can - it will work THAT much more to your favour here.),do clearings with breathing (rapidly through your nose,strong exhales.)0 and other stuff like EFT. Try detoxing with a dietary program..recommendinG CitRUs DriNks feels like right..to keep okay - don't drink from water bottles that aren't your own at festivals. Thank you.Tom.-Unseen_Abilities.

[Songtsan]

some people can take psychoactive compounds one time and have a psychotic break that affects them for the rest of their life. Others can take such compounds thousands of times (like I did), have psychotic breaks that are short term, and come back to normalcy after swearing off such things and going straight edge. Not sure what predisposes one person vs. another besides genetics. I have mental illness inherent in me, as do my mother & father, not to mention like a dozen other close relatives, everything from Asperger's, OCD, PTSD, ADHD, Schizophrenia, and other stuff. The best thing I can say is to go straight edge, eat right, exercise right, take your vitamins and STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Don't reify the anxiety/paranoia producing permutations. Focus on contentment and non-attachment.

[Yinja]

Im not near a computer at the moment having trouble replaying from my phone. Appriciate your comments.

[SriChi]

Yinja, you have received good advice here. And it seems like you are following up and doing the right things. Wish you all the best.

 

Welcoming the feelings of anxiety, listening to them with compassion, accepting their presence have worked for me. And yes! to being with nature and lying down on the grass, and sinking into Mama Earth's embrace.

[Yinja]

Thank you all the love and the advice it works wonders on me.

I will let you know that for now things are stable and to my calculations there is probably another small wave coming and i will be expecting it.

 

Bud Jetsun- I do too feel like this trip has a lot to offer my progress as it most likely flooded thing up for me to deal with.

I think part of it was fear of death i may have denied i realised the universe dont have a special plan for me, atlist not more than to anyone else. it is as deep down i had the belief that nothing bad can really happen to me as if my story couldn't really end here or some other self pattern.

 

Unseen_Abilities- It realy was a random water bottle, i was on MDMA once and it was a great and an inspiring experience so you can say im familiar (sort of) to drug use and not shy about it as you can see so that's not the case. I can remember pretty much the whole thing so dont worry been told this stuff is common at this kind of festivals not from any intention to harm or anything.

 

Songtsan- I follow your advice please share if you had a similar experience.

 

SriChi- I am curious about lying on the grass as been suggested a few time but its hard for me to find a place where there is no people about otherwise i must admit it just makes me feel more like im going insane

 

A few things i'd like to discuss with you if you dont mind 

As i see it if the drugs(maybe a more appropriate word) put you in a higher level of consciousness(it does right?) than what i am going through is perhaps the down side of it if following the YinYang principle whatever goes up must go down kind of thing than maybe i am temporarily in a lower level of consciousness and that is why it is so hard for me to be the 'observer' over my thoughts and feelings? Or maybe it is just active stuff still going in my body? If not i wonder why does it have to affect you for the rest of your life is it not that any problem in the mind can be dissolved? and no one is consciously insane? 

If feeling is the buddy's reaction to thought patterns than a deep enough meditation would in theory get me out of any anxiety?

 

 

I made a mess

Anyway I cant thank you enough for guiding and walking me through this.

Yinja 

[SriChi]

In my experience, Medicine has always reflected back to me my inner state amplified. But, that is Plant Medicine.

 

We don't even know what you took. 

 

But, keeping that aside, forgetting about the drugs, this is still Experience.

 

I would simply bring Conscious Heart-centered Attention to whatever I am feeling. I would surrender to the wisdom of my Heart that dwells deep within myself, simply Trusting.

 

I understand it is very difficult to surrender amidst throes of anxiety. You can begin with acceptance. And trusting your own Inner Guidance. Your Soul is Always There.

 

Acceptance can be as simple as:

 

"I accept I'm feeling anxious right now. I accept I'm trying to feel better. I accept I'm trying to get rid of this anxiety. I accept that I am giving this anxiety space to be and not be swept away by it. I accept all of this is confusing, and yet I accept I have myself to depend on. I accept myself." 

 

And yes, exercise self-compassion and compassion to the ones you feel are suffering. Just drop into that feeling of compassion for everything, most certainly beginning with yourself and the experiences you are going through.

 

When in confusion, in doubt, reconnect with your own Inner Innocence.

 

Innocence is untainted. There are no concepts to match against, no ideas to uphold, it is just direct experience. 

 

Notice how the anxiety feels, notice how you feel, and compassionately give yourself comfort saying that: "Yes, I'm having this experience. And yes, I am right here with myself."

 

I hope this helps.

 

In my experience, all the problems I have tried to tackle had the same solution: Self-Love.

 

Blessings,

SriChi

[Songtsan]

Chemical regardless of source (plant, man-made), can easily open one up to stuff like this. If you find that you keep having bad experiences with these things, jump ship and stop messing with 'em, even if everyone else is....

[SriChi]

^ Good advice. These are not for everyone.

[Miffymog]

Hi Yinja

 

There was a time when I used to enjoy taking drugs such a LSD and MDMA and then meditating. The states I entered were, at the time, fascinating. They taught me how a lot of life and reality was about perception. Then, afterwards, I came back to real life. I was lucky, these experiences never left me with anxiety issues (that, unfortunately, came later on in life due to other circumstances).

 

From my experience of similar,but not the same circumstances, I would agree with what has been said in earlier posts. Part of my spiritual practice now is to lie, face down, on the ground. I would also really recommend stepping back from drugs. Alcohol is quite a flexible drug, so if you need some form of release, this is has less of an impact on your mind long term and could be taken. But I would suggest you don't take the others you mentioned.

 

Good luck with all this - I'm certain the negative effects will diminish in time. Some exercise always helps too

Edited September 18, 2015 by Miffymog