sincerity and the garden of the mind

[ilumairen]

hahaha

 

Your laughter is contagious.

[Daeluin]

"Brother," the second monk replied, "I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her."

 

Sometimes we carry things without realizing it.... as soon as we do, we have the opportunity to let them go. At first perhaps we can look intently at them, tracing back their history and feeling how it has shaped us. Some will intently follow this path to the moment of inception to fight and burn away the encapsulation. Others might continuously cultivate their energy so as to drain all encapsulations until enough time passes for them to fully dissolve.

 

The shadow is simply the black side of someone's personality. It personifies everything that a person refuses to acknowledge about himself or herself, and is always known only indirectly through projection upon others. This is why the first meeting with the shadow is considered to be a moral effort. Also one discovers his black side as like coming from the outside (because of the psychical projection). The difficulty of absorbing the shadow is huge if we have to face alone this powerful feature. However, once integrated it results in a great expansion of consciousness.

 

Our shadow is part of our soul... but the heavy part that so easily takes on extra weights, and then becomes encumbered and brittle. In daoist symbolism this is related to the element of metal, and the po-soul that is related to emotions, attachments and discernments.

 

The metal phase is the return after expression, and it can be difficult to be fully open and in acceptance of all that has been expressed sometimes.... so we find ourselves pushing away the insults or reacting to them with our own projections... though then they only come back to us from the outside.

 

I believe the more we are able to hone in on when we are reacting to something, we can develop an awareness of what it is that triggers us, and work on accepting it. Why not treat the projections of others as gifts?

 

My shadow has always been there, acknowledged, but generally left alone. I am a descendant of warriors, conquerors, people who vied for power, and people who used religion to manipulate and control others, how could that not have left some sort of genetic footprint? I have inherited their force of will and charisma. There have always been people willing to follow, even without me expressing a desire to lead. I could use this darkness to manipulate the world around me. I'd rather just grow flowers (yes, a lesser manipulation). Sincerity dictates I be honest about my darkness and the fact that it does manifest lest my sharing of only the good leads others to believe I am other than I am. Hell, lest I somehow convince myself that I am other than I am. Thank you for the thought provoking post Yueya. It is greatly appreciated.

 

These past influences may desire to continue evolving their patterns rather than refining. Yet the lower soul really wants to unite with the higher soul, related to the wood element and our true spiritual nature. The less accepting the lower soul, the more difficult for it to embrace and provide a home for the higher soul. Yet when we face these challenges a fire is ignited within. Though we may often use this fire to project the culmination of our feelings, instead, we may use this fire to control the metal - all the brittle and rigid hard shapings of our emotions that simply refuse to accept - and the fire melts this metal into liquid and allows it to settle without obstruction. Now more fluid, heated yet internally focused, the po-soul is positioned to accept and unite with it's lighter hun-soul counterpart.

 

Wow, strange notions  about one's lower nature being the "spirit of life".... granted recognition of such has its place and value through the passing of tests - yet darkness in the sense of lower nature is willfully twisted light and that has no root in truth 

 

Know the white; keep to the black.

 

Black is associated with water.

White is associated with metal.

Metal is also associated with yang energy.

The trigram of water is one yang within two yins.

This image shows the white within the black.

 

Often in daoism cultivation begins with the lower dan t'ien, where one works with the dynamic of water - using what flows to cultivate the essence of life that is hidden within it.

 

What is low is the foundation for what is high. Cut flowers don't last.

 

When the unity of yin and yang separate, the true yang sinks to be hidden within the low, and the true yin floats up like helium escaping the atmosphere. The more we neglect our lower nature, the more it continues to hold our attachments and the larger the ego becomes.... and the larger it becomes, the more the spiritual is pushed out.

 

So we cultivate the lower to be able to accept within and provide a home for the high, so they may both be reunited. And even as we discover the white within, we keep it within by keeping to the black, the flowing, adaptive ways of water.

 

You planted seeds of acceptance, except for the weeds.

 

They say that weeds growing near you are the best medicine. We often get in the way of the beauty of nature when we presume to make it better. In accepting it all we nurture it all, and allow it to nurture us.

Edited October 19, 2015 by Daeluin

[ilumairen]

Daeluin - thank you.

[ilumairen]

I would be very much honored if you would choose a book for me Daeluin - something that shares more of the Taoist understanding you shared here.

[3bob]

As far as I know a great Sage or master has become nearly pure yang in energy not half black (per a yin correlation) or half white in energy, thus we are not talking about a 50/50 mix as some here seem to be alluding to?

[Daeluin]

 

As far as I know a great Sage or master has become nearly pure yang in energy not half black (per a yin correlation) or half white in energy, thus we are not talking about a 50/50 mix as some here seem to be alluding to?

 

The pure yang is contained within the mysterious gate. I believe this is something like the equivalent of pure yin. One yin and one yang = dao.

[Daeluin]

I would be very much honored if you would choose a book for me Daeluin - something that shares more of the Taoist understanding you shared here.

 

I humbly recommend Ni Hua Ching's The Uncharted Voyage Toward the Subtle Light. Also, his Book of Changes and the Unchanging Truth contains a valuable introduction on daoist cosmology and spirituality.

 

In general, the daodejing, yijing, and any classics you stumble upon are wonderful companions to one's cultivation work. The classics can become a little confusing, so tread with caution. If you really want to open that door, be sincere and take your time. Gradually they all begin to say the same things, confusion vanishes and clarity remains. Where sincerity is, the way is open.

[rene]

Sometimes we carry things without realizing it.... as soon as we do, we have the opportunity to let them go. At first perhaps we can look intently at them, tracing back their history and feeling how it has shaped us. Some will intently follow this path to the moment of inception to fight and burn away the encapsulation. Others might continuously cultivate their energy so as to drain all encapsulations until enough time passes for them to fully dissolve....

 

...and still others might just simply let things go as soon as the moment passes, making room for whatever comes next!

 

Zhuangzi called this "a springtime in every moment" .

 

(Dont faint Marblehead, I just referenced ZZ )

[Daeluin]

...and still others might just simply let things go as soon as the moment passes, making room for whatever comes next!

 

Zhuangzi called this "a springtime in every moment" .

 

Ultimately yes. Many of us are still in the process of recognizing that we've been holding things since our childhood (and before). Some like to pretend they are letting things go whenever the moment passes, all while denying the things they are holding. They pretend like they are in a constant state of bliss, but because what they hold inside is not acknowledged, it is unable to integrate with that bliss and gets dumped externally.

Edited October 20, 2015 by Daeluin

[Jeff]

Ultimately yes. Many of us are still in the process of recognizing that we've been holding things since our childhood (and before). Some like to pretend they are letting things go whenever the moment passes, all while denying the things they are holding. They pretend like they are in a constant state of bliss, but because what they hold inside is not acknowledged, it is unable to integrate with that bliss and gets dumped externally.

 

Excellent point.  Often one believes that they have consciously dropped something, but subconsciously it is all still there bubbling under the surface, waiting to pop up again when similar thing comes up.

[rene]

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.

 

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

 

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

 

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

 

 

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

 

The Grandfather quietly said, "The one I feed."

[Jetsun]

 

What matters is that I did this. There was even a moment of awareness that I was about to step from center. I knew what was happening, and I still took that step anyway. I willingly and intentionally stepped from the place of peace to metaphorically slap somebody who is lost in their own suffering upside the head.

 

Today I'm back to watering flowers.

 

 

Others have mentioned shadow work, but to take that to the next level to really bring consciousness to it requires seeing the pleasure we get out of things like anger, rage, domination, the pleasure we get out of destroying or humiliating others, even sexual pleasure. 

[Daeluin]

The Grandfather quietly said, "The one I feed."

 

And this is how we can cultivate in the moment, without immediately knowing what we are holding, yet placing our intention back at the root of dao. With our intention placed deep, everything between us and the root of dao comes out of hiding to be dissolved through our cultivation.

 

As soon as we let go a little of that depth of sincerity, it may feel as though we are whole, light, full of energy and bliss, and yet that is when it becomes difficult to avoid dumping that bliss. This is why the sage flows with the depths, and even as the depths raise the sage up, intention remains placed low, and gradually all is integrated.

 

Fifteen

 

The ancient masters were subtle, mysterious, profound, responsive.

The depth of their knowledge is unfathomable.

Because it is unfathomable,

All we can do is describe their appearance.

Watchful, like men crossing a winter stream.

Alert, like men aware of danger.

Courteous, like visiting guests.

Yielding, like ice about to melt.

Simple,  like uncarved blocks of wood.

Hollow, like caves.

Opaque, like muddy pools.

 

Who can wait quietly while the mud settles?

Who can remain still until the moment of action?

Observers of the Tao do not seek fulfillment.

Not seeking fulfillment, they are not swayed by desire for change.

 

Feng / English

[TzuJanLi]

We bagan a Saturday workshop at 7:30am with Sifu handing us each  25 pound sand bags, with the instruction that we could not set them down.  We could set them in our laps, but we had to keep them in our personal control all day, even during physical training that normally required both hands: we got creative.  That afternoon, around 4:30, Sifu said okay, put the sandbags over there, and he just walked away.  So there we were, 6 or seven of us yammering away trying to figure out what the lesson was, but each of us so very happy to have put the bags down, and the next days soreness reinforced the lesson we would soon learn. 

 

After about 20 minutes, Sifu came back and started a familiar Taiji form with no mention of the sandbags, so me playing my usual role as the crash-test-dummy asked the question: 'what was the sand bag thing about'?.. 'all we did was carry them all day'!  so, and i'll paraphrase, Sifu said:

 

What!, you didn't like carrying the sand bags?.. Did you realize you were carrying the bag, did it seem to get heavier?.. (heck yes it did, it felt like a hunderd pounds at the end of the day)..  how did it feel when you set it down?, he asked.. i said: it was a real relief, it felt great to put the bag down, but all we did was carry them around and all they did was get in the way, and all you said was 'you'll see'.. so, he said: now you see, you see how easy it is to just let go of useless baggage and how heavy and burdensome it can be.. all day your balance was off, your efforts were exaggerated, and you complained.. the lesson is that it's much easier to let go of your mind's baggage than it is to hold on, but.. pay attention to what you are holding onto, and ask yourself why.. each of you have stuff to let go of..

 

It was one of his best lessons...

[rene]

And this is how we can cultivate in the moment, without immediately knowing what we are holding, yet placing our intention back at the root of dao. With our intention placed deep, everything between us and the root of dao comes out of hiding to be dissolved through our cultivation.

 

As soon as we let go a little of that depth of sincerity, it may feel as though we are whole, light, full of energy and bliss, and yet that is when it becomes difficult to avoid dumping that bliss. This is why the sage flows with the depths, and even as the depths raise the sage up, intention remains placed low, and gradually all is integrated.

 

Fifteen

 

The ancient masters were subtle, mysterious, profound, responsive.

The depth of their knowledge is unfathomable.

Because it is unfathomable,

All we can do is describe their appearance.

Watchful, like men crossing a winter stream.

Alert, like men aware of danger.

Courteous, like visiting guests.

Yielding, like ice about to melt.

Simple,  like uncarved blocks of wood.

Hollow, like caves.

Opaque, like muddy pools.

 

Who can wait quietly while the mud settles?

Who can remain still until the moment of action?

Observers of the Tao do not seek fulfillment.

Not seeking fulfillment, they are not swayed by desire for change.

 

Feng / English

 

Daeluin, nicely written post. I wish the methodology you embrace, and clearly describe, was more easily workable for those who could greatly benefit from it. My way is of little use to anyone, and I yield to you and others to help the folks who can hear you along their path. Warm greetings!

[rene]

Others have mentioned shadow work, but to take that to the next level to really bring consciousness to it requires seeing the pleasure we get out of things like anger, rage, domination, the pleasure we get out of destroying or humiliating others, even sexual pleasure. 

 

Jetsun, hi, why would you group 'sexual pleasure' in with anger, rage, domination, destroying and humiliating others?

[Jetsun]

Jetsun, hi, why would you group 'sexual pleasure' in with anger, rage, domination, destroying and humiliating others?

 

Historically in war a defeat often meant sexual humiliation for both men and women, you even see it now when politicians talk about bombing another nation they often they get off on the power, quite literally. With a lot of murderers and serial killers there is often a sexual element and motivation behind their actions. In terms of chakras it revolves around second chakra issues, sexuality is mixed up with issues of power and control. Developmental psychology also says a lot about this in terms of how we develop our sense of power or get frustrated in the process in our relationship with our parents.

 

But believing this as a theory isn't particularly important, it is more useful to see in our own experience what kind of pleasure we take when we indulge in such things. The OP said that she willingly chose the anger, she would only do that if she was getting something out of it, I am not saying it was necessarily sexual pleasure but we get angry at someone and dominate them it can make us feel powerful and in control and the deeper shadow side is that people often get off on feeling powerful over others. 

 

Its obviously not something we like to see in ourselves because we believe we are "good" people 

Edited October 21, 2015 by Jetsun

[TzuJanLi]

Generally, we see through the lens of our own attachments and beliefs..  the still mind 'sees' what is, the active mind looks for what it believes..

[TzuJanLi]

And this is how we can cultivate in the moment, without immediately knowing what we are holding, yet placing our intention back at the root of dao. With our intention placed deep, everything between us and the root of dao comes out of hiding to be dissolved through our cultivation.

 

As soon as we let go a little of that depth of sincerity, it may feel as though we are whole, light, full of energy and bliss, and yet that is when it becomes difficult to avoid dumping that bliss. This is why the sage flows with the depths, and even as the depths raise the sage up, intention remains placed low, and gradually all is integrated.

 

Fifteen

 

The ancient masters were subtle, mysterious, profound, responsive.

The depth of their knowledge is unfathomable.

Because it is unfathomable,

All we can do is describe their appearance.

Watchful, like men crossing a winter stream.

Alert, like men aware of danger.

Courteous, like visiting guests.

Yielding, like ice about to melt.

Simple,  like uncarved blocks of wood.

Hollow, like caves.

Opaque, like muddy pools.

 

Who can wait quietly while the mud settles?

Who can remain still until the moment of action?

Observers of the Tao do not seek fulfillment.

Not seeking fulfillment, they are not swayed by desire for change.

 

Feng / English

 

Bliss happens or it doesn't, for the seeker of clarity there is no concern about bliss.. with clarity the 'way' is clear, even in all its mystery the 'way' is clear..

[rene]

Historically in war a defeat often meant sexual humiliation for both men and women, you even see it now when politicians talk about bombing another nation they often they get off on the power, quite literally. With a lot of murderers and serial killers there is often a sexual element and motivation behind their actions. In terms of chakras it revolves around second chakra issues, sexuality is mixed up with issues of power and control. Developmental psychology also says a lot about this in terms of how we develop our sense of power or get frustrated in the process in our relationship with our parents.

 

But believing this as a theory isn't particularly important, it is more useful to see in our own experience what kind of pleasure we take when we indulge in such things. The OP said that she willingly chose the anger, she would only do that if she was getting something out of it, I am not saying it was necessarily sexual pleasure but we get angry at someone and dominate them it can make us feel powerful and in control and the deeper shadow side is that people often get off on feeling powerful over others. 

 

Its obviously not something we like to see in ourselves because we believe we are "good" people 

 

Jetsun, hi, thank you for elaborating on your reasoning, most appreciated. I cant speak for others; to me, your words point to a baser survival instinct found in most species - that can be taken to an unnecessary extreme...examples of which you spoke of. My guess is that the OP did not feel in danger, nor wanted to feel "powerful" over someone - yet there comes a time for all of us when enough is enough and the choice is made to act in a manner outside our individual norm. Does that make us "bad" people? To me, no. Does that mean there is a "deeper shadow side" in all people? I dont know. What I do know is that when one denies (the existance of) or tries to suppress a natural aspect of who we are it might be difficult to enjoy peace.

 

If thinking is a hobby, this would be a fun concept to ponder! I gave up thinking sometime back; my hobbies now are exploring the mountains and soon the slopes. Thanks again for your reply! Warm greetings.

 

 

[ilumairen]

So there I was, holding another's baggage, calling it loving kindness. It enabled understanding of behaviors that were intentionally hurtful. I gently presented the baggage to others, so they could find the same understanding.

 

I was interfering. It was more codependency. I saw the anger, I recognized the anger, I released the anger. I said the words I had stopped others from saying with my meddling, and threw her baggage back at her feet, and my own at mine.

 

Daeluin, you have helped more than you could know. You have my gratitude.

[ilumairen]

Hi Jetsun. You are right; I did get something out of it. I got to walk away from something that was hurtful to me and others. It was an ugly break up.

 

Thank you.

[Daeluin]

A little while back about all I did was work and taiji, and didn't have many social interactions. I started recognizing various changes occurring, like the deepening of my voice, a deeper sense of inner peace, mosquito immunity, and increased sensitivity. This increased sensitivity became somewhat challenging as I began interacting more with others, as suddenly I saw violence in people's communication that I had not noticed before, and I noticed myself becoming reactive to this.  Also I was startled to hear myself saying things that my heart recoiled from.

 

Funny how common it is for us to say "hey can you help me with this", or "hey do you mind doing this".... and often our expectation is for the person to jump right into helping us or do something, even though our request was posed more as a question to gauge interest. As we become more sensitive we begin to hear the duplicity in requests like these, and they can sting a little without our even knowing why, causing us to react or question the way our friend is communicating.

 

Yet our friends are usually just doing as they always have, while it is we who have changed. As we begin to see this, we have the opportunity to adapt to the nature of those around us. We don't need to get our feathers ruffled because person X says one thing when they mean another. Since we are sensitive to what they mean, we can respond to what they really mean instead of to the surface of their words. This can evolve into a much more intentional, and compassionate communication, using our empathy for connection rather than reaction.  As I recognized this and learned to deal with it, I became more tolerant of people's unintentional verbal abuse, and also worked on changing my own communication. Posting here helped a lot, as did studying Non-Violent Communication.

 

On a further level of refinement and sensitivity, our awareness may begin to feel the tugs of others around us, perhaps related to their emotional or mental patterns. If we attach to these tugs, we may begin to feel off-balance, pushed around, controlled, and/or overwhelmed. Yet if we remain centered and simply allow with trust and surrender these changes, we are no longer tugged this way and that, but simply become more aware of this layer of vibration around us. At least I may have had a brief glimpse of this once, and that's what it felt like.

 

 

Thirty spokes converge on a hub
but it's the emptiness
that makes a wheel work
pots are fashioned from clay
but it's the hollow
that makes a pot work

windows and doors are carved for a house
but it's the spaces
that make a house work
existence makes something useful
but nonexistence makes it work

 

daodejing, ch 11, tl: Red Pine

[TzuJanLi]

 

Thirty spokes converge on a hub

but it's the emptiness

that makes a wheel work

pots are fashioned from clay

but it's the hollow

that makes a pot work

windows and doors are carved for a house

but it's the spaces

that make a house work

existence makes something useful

but nonexistence makes it work

 

daodejing, ch 11, tl: Red Pine

 

In the spaces, in the absence, there is potential and possibility..

The same absence fills many rooms, and intention resolves potential..

The same air fills many rooms, some vibrating with the sounds of love..

sounds of struggle, sounds of Life, sounds of silence..

Absence is the opportunity for intention to evolve..

 

That's not really a Haiku, but it could be if it was...

[Geof Nanto]

I like the title of this thread. The metaphor of Daoists as gardeners of the world – as cultivators of personal landscapes – is an apt one. It reminds me of the Daoist poets with their love of nature. I relate to their reclusive ways and their need to escape the busyness of urban life. I've lived for many years within a semi-wilderness environment; it continues to be a great source of wisdom for me.

 

Here’s an excerpt from David Hinton’s Mountain Home: the Wilderness Poetry of Ancient China…..

 

T'ao Ch'ien (365-427 CE) is traditionally spoken of as founder of the fields-and-gardens tradition, in contrast to Hsieh Ling-yun, founder of the rivers-and-mountains tradition. This is a useful distinction, describing a real difference in emphasis not only in these two originary poets, but throughout the tradition to follow. But there is no fundamental distinction between the two: both embody the cosmology that essentially is the Chinese wilderness, and as rivers-and-mountains is the broader context within which fields-and-gardens operates, it seems more accurate to speak of both modes together as a single rivers-and-mountains tradition.

 

T'ao Ch'ien's domestic fields-and-gardens feel is more a reflection of his profound contentment than some fundamental difference in his poetic world: unlike Hsieh Ling-yun, whose poems are animated by the need to establish an enlightened relationship with a grand alpine wilderness, T'ao effortlessly lived everyday life on a mountain farm as an utterly sufficient experience of dwelling, his poems initiating that intimate sense of belonging to natural process that shapes the Chinese poetic sensibility. And though this dwelling means confronting death and the existential realities of human experience without delusion, a central preoccupation in T'ao Ch'ien and all Chinese poets, the spiritual ecology of tzu-jan (ziran) provided ample solace. If T'ao's poems seem bland, a quality much admired in them by the Sung Dynasty poets, it's because they are never animated by the struggle for understanding. Instead, they always begin with the deepest wisdom.

 

 

Home Again Among Fields and Gardens

 

Nothing like all the others, even as a child,

rooted in such love for hills and mountains,

 

I stumbled into their net of dust, that one

departure a blunder lasting thirteen years.

 

But a tethered bird longs for its old forest,

and a pond fish its deep waters— so now,

 

my southern outlands cleared, I nurture

simplicity among these fields and gardens,

 

home again. I've got nearly two acres here,

and four or five rooms in this thatch hut,

 

elms and willows shading the eaves in back,

and in front, peach and plum spread wide.

 

Villages lost across mist-and-haze distances,

kitchen smoke drifting wide-open country,

 

dogs bark deep among back roads out here,

and roosters crow from mulberry treetops.

 

No confusion within these gates, no dust,

my empty home harbors idleness to spare.

 

Back again: after so long caged in that trap,

I've returned to occurrence coming of itself.