How do you most often feel?

[Everything]

 

Like the OP I'd say contentment and boredom. Doesn't seem so bad to me. .

Yeah me neither. Boredom is the least painful negative emotion I can imagine. From there on up it only gets better.

[doc benway]

Yeah I get it, you want people to respond not react.

I gave up wanting people to be this way or that.

I'm sharing my personal view and path.

 

So are you saying that I react to much and don't respond? That could be true. I'm open for that. Well. Not really. Because I'm pretty sure I am responding here and not reacting.

 

That's a very good response isn't it? Well. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just a loser. Not fun to be a loser.

 

My dad could be here any minute now. I'm closing this post.

I'm genuinely speaking of my life and the changes I have made and continue to make related to MY emotional life.

I don't know you at all and make no claims in that regard.

All we know about each other is what each of us chooses to share here and there is no way to know how accurate a picture that gives us of each other.

You are free to apply my thoughts to your situation or not as you see fit. 

If you think it's helpful to you, that's great, if not - that's great.

 

Contentment can also mean that we've reached a peaceful state (edit for spelling) of comfort and ease.

Boredom is an indication of disconnectedness.

Edited November 1, 2015 by steve

[ilumairen]

Wow, that's great. I wish I was surrounded by love

I mean. It does have to come from inside you. I mean love has to flow through you. Like a river. If you're surrounded by love it means it could be an ambush. But why then is it that you smile? Perhaps you trust those who offer you love? What a good life that is. But also sounds dangerous to me. I'm not so fast in trusting. Maybe I should. For you I'd make an exception. Take that to heart.

 

There is only an ambush if I expect something from this love, and then it really isn't love, or what I'm talking about anyway. I trust people to be who they are, in any given moment - which again isn't the same kind of trust you refer to. I love, and see this love reflected all around me. I smile because it is beautiful.

[Everything]

I gave up wanting people to be this way or that.

I'm sharing my personal view and path.

 

I'm genuinely speaking of my life and the changes I have made and continue to make related to MY emotional life.

I don't know you at all and make no claims in that regard.

All we know about each other is what each of us chooses to share here and there is no way to know how accurate a picture that gives us of each other.

You are free to apply my thoughts to your situation or not as you see fit.

If you think it's helpful to you, that's great, if not - that's great.

 

Contentment can also mean that we've reached a peaceful state (edit for spelling) of comfort and ease.

Boredom is an indication of disconnectedness.

Yeah I know right. Our emotions kinda sum up how our life is going at any particular moment in time. It's amazing how accurate these emotions always are. And reaching for a better feeling emotion is what we all eventually want in life. Atleast everything that people want they want because they think they will feel better in the having of it.

[Everything]

 

There is only an ambush if I expect something from this love, and then it really isn't love, or what I'm talking about anyway. I trust people to be who they are, in any given moment - which again isn't the same kind of trust you refer to. I love, and see this love reflected all around me. I smile because it is beautiful.

But it does have to come from the inside. That smile. You have to really feel it before you smile. The smile is a reaction to the feeling. Otherwise it's just a fake smile. Edited November 2, 2015 by Everything

[ilumairen]

Yeah I know right. Our emotions kinda sum up how our life is going at any particular moment in time. It's amazing how accurate these emotions always are. And reaching for a better feeling emotion is what we all eventually want in life. Atleast everything that people want they want because they think they will feel better in the having of it.

 

Not to speak for the OP, but I don't think he's talking about reaching for anything. He (imo) is speaking of true acceptance and openness that allows things to rise and fall as they will.

 

 

There is no reaching for the next emotion because that leads to repression.

 

 

And there is no clinging to emotion because that leads to stagnation.

 

 

 

 

[doc benway]

Yeah I know right. Our emotions kinda sum up how our life is going at any particular moment in time. It's amazing how accurate these emotions always are.

While emotions may be accurate, I wonder if our perception and interpretation of them is always accurate?

This is one reason why analysis and understanding is less important in my approach than simply experiencing them and allowing that to be a guide to who it is that is having the experience. 

 

 

And reaching for a better feeling emotion is what we all eventually want in life. Atleast everything that people want they want because they think they will feel better in the having of it.

There's a lot of truth to that - we want to feel better or avoid feeling worse. 

As long as we are on that rollercoaster there is little peace.

[Nungali]

Wow that must feel really good, right? I've only experienced those emotions 2 weeks in my whole life, best time of my life. Now I'm mostly tranquil.

 

 

Oh no ... it feels wretched !     .

 

After many long years and all sorts of ups and downs ... I can honestly say that I have finally settled  and what I said above is true .  

 

.... its true ! ;  Psycho active drugs, meditations, techniques, rituals are all  steps , indications and transitory.  I am just 'in' that state most of time now.  I still complain for  a hobby though  .... but underneath any superficial quafuffle , those things have bedded in. 

 

Persistent practices can accumulate and gain mass and momentum over years ... I am glad I persevered. 

 

Living in a great place helps, with a high level of freedom.   But that isnt they key ... as 'we people ' are strange critters ; eg,. this is a fantastic place, really we are all affluent, and live an amazing lifestyle here, also its a holiday destination; beaches rivers mountains, pristine world heritage areas, nature, mod cons, clean environment ... yet the local pharmacy has the highest distribution per population of anti-depressants in the state ! 

 

So maybe it is my level of contended happiness  that helps me to appreciate what I have ... more than those things bringing happiness themselves ... when people here carry on about their 'suffering' I want to send them on a 'holiday' to Calcutta ! 

 

Then , when I would go and visit aboriginal friends, we would be sitting in the dirt in a gunya made from old tin, branches and  tarps ...  and they have the same inner attitude and happiness;  < one  of them gestures over the scrubby bush , to the horziron, the sky and over the river  > " We got all this ! Who wouldn't be happy ! " 

 

Yes, I think I found the 'secret'  .

 

(ps , maybe it also comes from being immanently close to death a few times and then , later .... 'My God! I am still alive ! " ... and also seeing some bad death blood and destruction personally ... sometimes daily ...   that is , after the bad 'after taste' finally left my psyche.  ) 

 

Take car people ! 

 

 

 

 

[Nungali]

There is only an ambush if I expect something from this love, and then it really isn't love, or what I'm talking about anyway. I trust people to be who they are, in any given moment - which again isn't the same kind of trust you refer to. I love, and see this love reflected all around me. I smile because it is beautiful.

 

 

Oh... love ambush isnt that bad . 

 

 

 

[ilumairen]

Nungali!

 

This is not what I was referring to.

Edited November 1, 2015 by Des

[Everything]

While emotions may be accurate, I wonder if our perception and interpretation of them is always accurate?

This is one reason why analysis and understanding is less important in my approach than simply experiencing them and allowing that to be a guide to who it is that is having the experience.

 

 

There's a lot of truth to that - we want to feel better or avoid feeling worse.

As long as we are on that rollercoaster there is little peace.

So are you saying positive feelings and negative feelings can't be differentiated by you? Or maybe you rather don't have any positive and negative feelings? Edited November 2, 2015 by Everything

[Everything]

Oh no ... it feels wretched ! .

 

After many long years and all sorts of ups and downs ... I can honestly say that I have finally settled and what I said above is true .

 

.... its true ! ; Psycho active drugs, meditations, techniques, rituals are all steps , indications and transitory. I am just 'in' that state most of time now. I still complain for a hobby though .... but underneath any superficial quafuffle , those things have bedded in.

 

Persistent practices can accumulate and gain mass and momentum over years ... I am glad I persevered.

 

Living in a great place helps, with a high level of freedom. But that isnt they key ... as 'we people ' are strange critters ; eg,. this is a fantastic place, really we are all affluent, and live an amazing lifestyle here, also its a holiday destination; beaches rivers mountains, pristine world heritage areas, nature, mod cons, clean environment ... yet the local pharmacy has the highest distribution per population of anti-depressants in the state !

 

So maybe it is my level of contended happiness that helps me to appreciate what I have ... more than those things bringing happiness themselves ... when people here carry on about their 'suffering' I want to send them on a 'holiday' to Calcutta !

 

Then , when I would go and visit aboriginal friends, we would be sitting in the dirt in a gunya made from old tin, branches and tarps ... and they have the same inner attitude and happiness; < one of them gestures over the scrubby bush , to the horziron, the sky and over the river > " We got all this ! Who wouldn't be happy ! "

 

Yes, I think I found the 'secret' .

 

(ps , maybe it also comes from being immanently close to death a few times and then , later .... 'My God! I am still alive ! " ... and also seeing some bad death blood and destruction personally ... sometimes daily ... that is , after the bad 'after taste' finally left my psyche. )

 

Take car people !

 

 

 

 

Wow scary video. I emmediatly thought of my forrest here. Imagine if they removed it and put up a parking lot instead. I would be mad furious. Well not scary video, I mean my thought was scary.

 

And yes, you are right. Your happiness comes from your thoughts. You found the secret alright. I found the secret to living in fear. Our thoughts are also responsible for depression, despair and fear. Our thoughts are responsible for everything that matters. Infact, some say thought becomes form.

 

The question is how do you change a negative thought causing negative emotion to a positive thought causing positive emotion? Cause if we knew that we would have the key to happeniss. And ofcourse the answer is emotion. We have to feel our way there. But I struggle there and even wonder if it is possible. Because I cannot come up with any thoughts that would cause me to feel good. So really. There is no choice. It's not up to us how we feel. I can only direct my thoughts a little hit. Distract from this focus on that. Doesn't really do much for me. I find equal boring thoughts as thoughts of contentment.

 

I'm stuck in this in between state of emotion.

Edited November 2, 2015 by Everything

[dust]

I fluctuate between tranquility and anxiety. And on any given week I'll certainly feel angry a few times, and laugh a few too.

 

The tranquility is because I'm pretty content doing very little; I have a few pastimes that I can spend hours and hours on. Peaceful, with my dog or maybe one other person. I like to spend most of my time not being busy; I do not have much of a so-called "social life". Spots of action here and there.

 

The anxiety is because I know that everyone expects me to be doing more.

Edited November 2, 2015 by dustybeijing

[doc benway]

So are you saying positive feelings and negative feelings can't be differentiated by you? Or maybe you rather don't have any positive and negative feelings?

I definitely have positive and negative feelings and I do feel that I'm able to differentiate them.

 

I think I'm saying a few things -

1. When we are faced with a situation that elicits a response, that response is an accurate indication of how we are conditioned to respond based on our perception of the stimulus, based on a whole host of variables (cultural, psychological, spiritual, generational, ancestral...)

2. Our perception of the stimulus is not always accurate and, if inaccurate, our reaction will be similarly inaccurate

3. Sometimes I have the experience that even thought I think I should feel one way, I feel completely differently. For example, something happens and my brain tells me that it would make sense to feel happy but I still feel sad, or vice versa. 

 

So I think it's important to be aware that our emotions may not be as accurate as you suggested in your earlier post, at least not for me anyway.

[ilumairen]

The anxiety is because I know that everyone expects me to be doing more.

 

I've recently discovered that the worst expectations for me are the ones I place on myself - sometimes without even knowing it.

[dust]

I've recently discovered that the worst expectations for me are the ones I place on myself - sometimes without even knowing it.

 

I'm sure this is true for me too, yeah.. some of the time, anyway.

 

But there's no question about the expectations of others: I'm frequently told that I'm not ambitious enough, or that my talents are being wasted, or that I'm not social enough... and this is sometimes family, sometimes friends, sometimes people I don't know very well. It's the expectation of family and good friends that eats at me.

 

It is sometimes hard to know where the outside expectation ends and my own begins, I suppose.

Edited November 2, 2015 by dustybeijing

[ilumairen]

I'm sure this is true for me too, yeah.. some of the time, anyway.

 

But there's no question about the expectations of others: I'm frequently told that I'm not ambitious enough, or that my talents are being wasted, or that I'm not social enough...

 

It is sometimes hard to know where the outside expectation ends and my own begins, I suppose.

 

Outside expectations can only be yours if you accept them as such.

[dust]

Right.. but not accepting them doesn't stop other people from 'expecting more' from me. And I care what they think. I'm just not willing to be, or capable of being, any different. Not today, anyway.

[Everything]

I fluctuate between tranquility and anxiety. And on any given week I'll certainly feel angry a few times, and laugh a few too.

 

The tranquility is because I'm pretty content doing very little; I have a few pastimes that I can spend hours and hours on. Peaceful, with my dog or maybe one other person. I like to spend most of my time not being busy; I do not have much of a so-called "social life". Spots of action here and there.

 

The anxiety is because I know that everyone expects me to be doing more.

Wow you just summed up my life. Hello parallel reality. Lol. Like a mirror.

[Everything]

I definitely have positive and negative feelings and I do feel that I'm able to differentiate them.

 

I think I'm saying a few things -

1. When we are faced with a situation that elicits a response, that response is an accurate indication of how we are conditioned to respond based on our perception of the stimulus, based on a whole host of variables (cultural, psychological, spiritual, generational, ancestral...)

2. Our perception of the stimulus is not always accurate and, if inaccurate, our reaction will be similarly inaccurate

3. Sometimes I have the experience that even thought I think I should feel one way, I feel completely differently. For example, something happens and my brain tells me that it would make sense to feel happy but I still feel sad, or vice versa.

 

So I think it's important to be aware that our emotions may not be as accurate as you suggested in your earlier post, at least not for me anyway.

No your emotions are always accurate. Your thoughts are not always accurate causing the painful emotions which is an accurate emotion for an inaccurate thought.

[Everything]

 

I've recently discovered that the worst expectations for me are the ones I place on myself - sometimes without even knowing it.

That's so true. I've always exected myself to be happy with bad feeling thoughts. It doesn't work that way. I have to think in better ways. And that is an expectation I place upon myself too. Cause really. Letting the good feeling thoughts just come to me instead of going look for them is much more naturally efficient and effective.

[Everything]

 

Right.. but not accepting them doesn't stop other people from 'expecting more' from me. And I care what they think. I'm just not willing to be, or capable of being, any different. Not today, anyway.

I guess all that is left to do is enjoy how you are. More and more each day. Find new things to be happy about. I do it moment by moment. Always try to make the best of each moment. And I can feel my way into the best of each moment. I know when I'm feeling any kind of negative emotion I'm headed in the wrong way. Wether the thought comes from other people or from my self, I take responsibility for what I give my attention to and what not. That's the least I can do to promote a happier forms of thoughts, synchronisities and life. And the more I recognize the good in each moment the more easier it becomes to recognize even more good. It resonates with me when I'm feeling good and thus is drawn to me. But when I feel bad, only bad things resonate with me and is drawn to me. That's very helpful to know. It means our vibration plays a big part in what we draw unto us. And knowing how I feel means knowing what I am drawing unto me. Edited November 2, 2015 by Everything

[ilumairen]

Right.. but not accepting them doesn't stop other people from 'expecting more' from me. And I care what they think. I'm just not willing to be, or capable of being, any different. Not today, anyway.

 

That's ok. The other night I ate something I would rather not have because I too care. I love the person who had the expectation and concern, and my acceptance was not harmful to me - only uncomfortable. You'll have to decide for yourself which expectations you can accommodate, and which are harmful to you.

[doc benway]

No your emotions are always accurate. Your thoughts are not always accurate causing the painful emotions which is an accurate emotion for an inaccurate thought.

 

I wonder if we can separate thought from emotion so completely?

I think the two are inter-related at a fairly deep level such that they arise together.

In that sense, perhaps emotion can be inaccurate as well.

I don't see it as black and white as you but that doesn't meant that I am correct.

 

In addition, there are many people who experience emotions that are inappropriate for the circumstances.

These are often labeled as mental illness, although there may be much more sophisticated ways to look at these variations.

[ilumairen]

But it does have to come from the inside. That smile. You have to really feel it before you smile. The smile is a reaction to the feeling. Otherwise it's just a fake smile.

 

It is the warmth in my heart and the simple joy of being made manifest.