Huge problem, please offer advice

[liminal_luke]

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Edited December 9, 2015 by liminal_luke

[Arya]

Put too many conditions on what your mate will be has a couple of problems. 

 

One you end up knocking the vast majority of woman, a couple of who might be perfect soul mates, except the fail one or two litmus tests, ie fight with a brother or sister. 

 

Two, you find a woman who fits your standards, thus putting her on a pedestal setting her up for a big fall.  There is no such thing as perfect.  We all have flaws.   Thus your woman who cares for her parents spends more time with them, then you and your virgin wants to stay highly virginal. 

Then if there isn't a girl who meets these conditions, methinks it's good to not have a wife then.

 

how can I rationalize a girl as a soulmate who fails at simple virtue? Humans have flaws but I want an angel-to-be wife or whatever heavenly-nymph-to-be.

[Arya]

So, assuming your mother gives you your Virgin Mary, I just hope for you that she will also be a creative and imaginative bed mate. If not, you may find yourself longing for one of those "virtueless sex Goddesses" you watched in videos sooner than you think... 

that sort of sex goddess always left me with bad feelings. 

 

love-making is more my style. I don't really value creativity and imagination that much. Just having a face, voice and body that's writhing in ecstasy is enough.

 

that;s how I can take in her Love into me

 

I have a sensitive body as it is, as I've said before, just brushing females gives me orgasmic sensations.

[ilumairen]

that sort of sex goddess always left me with bad feelings. 

 

love-making is more my style. I don't really value creativity and imagination that much. Just having a face, voice and body that's writhing in ecstasy is enough.

 

that;s how I can take in her Love into me

 

I have a sensitive body as it is, as I've said before, just brushing females gives me orgasmic sensations.

 

If you are as much like my exhusband as it seems you are then you aren't going to like that writhing body either.

 

:feeling grateful to no longer be living this hell:

[ilumairen]

Hey Arya,

 

Your future wife may do and say all the things you want her to, but you can't make someone love you - anymore than my exhusband could force me through starvation to love him in the way he thought I should. That's just not how it works.

 

 

[Nikolai1]

Hey Arya, Your future wife may do and say all the things you want her to, but you can't make someone love you - anymore than my exhusband could force me through starvation to love him in the way he thought I should. That's just not how it works.

Love is not needed for a marriage to work.  Respect, a shared wordlview and liking each other is more than enough and is a firm basis to weather nearly all of the storms that you will face together.  The one storm ithat really rocks this kind of marriage is when one of you falls in love with someone else...but there's a very good chance that will never happen.

 

Arranged marriages work, a lot of the time.

[ilumairen]

Love is not needed for a marriage to work.  Respect, a shared wordlview and liking each other is more than enough and is a firm basis to weather nearly all of the storms that you will face together.  The one storm ithat really rocks this kind of marriage is when one of you falls in love with someone else...but there's a very good chance that will never happen.

 

Arranged marriages work, a lot of the time.

 

Yes love is not needed. Respect may be enough, but I don't see much respect in the things Arya is sharing.

 

[thelerner]

Then if there isn't a girl who meets these conditions, methinks it's good to not have a wife then.

 

how can I rationalize a girl as a soulmate who fails at simple virtue? Humans have flaws but I want an angel-to-be wife or whatever heavenly-nymph-to-be.

Different strokes for different folks.  Good luck. 

 

Probably she is out there and now its your job to live up to being good enough for her . 

[Arya]

Whatever the case maybe, I still don't have an apartment of my own so it's hard to get laid....

 

so it's a Huge problem

[ilumairen]

Whatever the case maybe, I still don't have an apartment of my own so it's hard to get laid....

 

so it's a Huge problem

 

And now it's time to laugh..

 

Good luck Arya

[Arya]

thanks, friends for all your replies

 

I'll just make do with the Loving-kindness practice for now cause it feels good.

[Kubba]

You may consider that yor sexual partner can get "infected" by your energy, since human sperm and other fluids are perfect conduits of transmission. Someones kundalini can be activated.

Not everyone wants to deal with it. So there is also your responsibility cause it is as if having HIV and not telling about it to your partner.

[flowconduit]

If you have sexual desire then you don't practice enough! There's no need for any type of "dual cultivation" - you are just controlled by your lust !