Thank you for having me

[redcairo]

Forum rules request new members post here.

 

My internet handle is Red Cairo (refers to Mars) but my name is PJ (or Palyne). I'm female, 50, from the West coast USA, currently living in the Ozarks territories. Have a respectable job and am nothing unusual in my outer life I suppose.

 

I don't tend to read or belong to forums of this topical matter, despite that it is central to my life and has been, though with some cycles, since about 1993. Usually when I search on such topics (every six months or so) I come away from it feeling like I've been drenched in dead intellectualism. Nothing against the latter, but there is a certain life and fire from truly living things that is recognizable (and required for genuine understanding) and is so often missing. Particularly since much of this topic falls into the occult area, which in my experience is as much a uniform as anything else is... Kumbaya in a minor key with cooler clothes, I joke. (I am not trying to be inflammatory in any way -- I signed up for this forum because I found a few threads that were in fact exceptions to this, and it impressed me that some of the members seemed... er, alive internally, hence my request to join.)

 

I began some personal exploration as a skeptic hypnotist with some anomalous stuff that led to a kundalini experience (partly blocked, which caused some damage and more extreme effects as a result) that sent reality into surreality for a couple years. During which I had a lot of life-changing experiences, some beyond-words horrible (and a bit long term), including some I later found are almost predictable (in the same sequence, no less!) for esoteric development. Which I knew nothing about (still don't know much).

 

I got married and pregnant just as I felt like a thick dark blanket had settled over my crown chakra, and I could no longer 'feel' a lot of stuff that had been a constant connection for a few years. I was fairly tuned out of most spiritual stuff for a long time then, mostly in working/single-mom/survival mode. Some years ago, slowly but significantly, the inside of me started opening up (sometimes without my requesting it, for sure).

 

I'm not sure if it's age or something else, but I gradually developed what I call a "capacity" that I simply didn't have before, that I'd say maybe relates to the ability to... recognize holiness perhaps, wow that sounds stupid now that I put it in words, I probably need to think this out more. But I don't think I was even capable of certain inner relationships and understandings before. I was impressed that my 'inner guide' after 20 years of barely ever speaking (though it had slightly increased over time) was finally having whole conversations with me, and I could "read" inside our interworlds (stole that word from Henri Corbin), and eventually I was able to absorb enough of her (she was my 4th version of IG) to realize she was what our people call angelic. I think it's a cosmic sun/planetary thing, but never mind. Anyway, she changed my world. And pushed me into IG5, they were the only ones who'd given me names -- it was a 'role' not an individual for me until then. IG5's made no secret at all of his nature -- he is what some call the HGA. And I am part of him (actually every mote of my reality is) vs. previous IGs that I had always assumed were some psychological part of me.

 

Every possible thing about my reality, body, identity, spirituality, etc. has pretty much been dissolved and rebuilt so much that first, whatever I think now, is likely to change, and second, by now it's rather difficult to have a conversation with anybody normal about the topics I used to call psychological, until I realized they were as deeply spiritual as they come. I feel like I'd need to spend a year educating someone to have some clue of the cosmology model I've been given from the inside, and its implications, and then maybe we could talk.

 

But I want to -- I live in the middle of nowhere, work via internet, I would like the community of people who might have some similar interests and experiences.

 

Well I've been as honest as I can and that's likely much more than anybody wanted to know. Hopefully having posted something will free me to post on the larger board now.

 

[Michael Sternbach]

Sure!

Welcome to the forums, redcairo!

Your membership is approved and we're happy you found your way to us. We are confident that you will find plenty of people here with similar interests and experiences.

Please take the time to read the two posts pinned at the top of this Welcome page and take a look at the forum terms and rules. This covers all you need to know when getting started.

For the first week you will be restricted to ten posts per day but after that you can post as much as you like. Also, until you’ve posted fifteen times in the forums, you’ll be a “Junior Bum” with somewhat restricted access and will be allowed only two private messages per day.

Good luck in your pursuits and best wishes to you,

Michael Sternbach and the TDB team

[redcairo]

Thank you.

 

I cannot seem to find the 'terms and rules' link. Aside from the boilerplate thing you see when you register of course. Am I blind?

 

PJ

[Stosh]

.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Stosh

[Michael Sternbach]

PJ, the link to the terms and rules should be functioning now.

 

Stosh, your explanation of where to find those pinned posts/threads is correct, they are one level up on the Welcome forum. Thanks for chiming in and making things clear.

[redcairo]

Those I'd already found. Thanks guys!

[redcairo]

OK you guys. It took me 320 days to finally end up with 200 posts so I could be cleared for the rest of the forum. :-)

 

RC