How to balance daily life with daily practice

[Clear'Waters]

When practice and normal domestic life clashes, what is one suppose to do? I have been trying to evade this situation, but it seems like it countinues to be unresolved as a result. Any advice?

[Aetherous]

Depends on what your teacher says.

For instance, I've been told to place life duties and responsibilities above spiritual practice. So if I'm working a lot, it's okay that I'm not able to meditate for 2 hours a day, or to meditate at the specified time. The energy is going elsewhere for the time being, and it's going to important things.

However, no matter what your teacher says, it's all up to you. If you want to practice more, then create a lifestyle that can accommodate that. For instance, lets say your job is making you do overtime every week, and your neighbors are noisy when you get home, so you're simply irked when practicing and are getting bad results...

...put in the extra effort to get a job that has a basic 40 hour work week and never more than that, and move to a new location that's quiet. Then you can have that time to practice undisturbed. Just one example.

Also, you can have a wild domestic life...but simply take a drive to a park that no one goes to and practice there in the quiet. Spend 10 minutes there...that's doable for most busy people. We either make time for practice, or we make excuses for why we're not practicing.

[Clear'Waters]

Depends on what your teacher says.

 

For instance, I've been told to place life duties and responsibilities above spiritual practice. So if I'm working a lot, it's okay that I'm not able to meditate for 2 hours a day, or to meditate at the specified time. The energy is going elsewhere for the time being, and it's going to important things.

 

However, no matter what your teacher says, it's all up to you. If you want to practice more, then create a lifestyle that can accommodate that. For instance, lets say your job is making you do overtime every week, and your neighbors are noisy when you get home, so you're simply irked when practicing and are getting bad results...

 

...put in the extra effort to get a job that has a basic 40 hour work week and never more than that, and move to a new location that's quiet. Then you can have that time to practice undisturbed. Just one example.

 

Also, you can have a wild domestic life...but simply take a drive to a park that no one goes to and practice there in the quiet. Spend 10 minutes there...that's doable for most busy people. We either make time for practice, or we make excuses for why we're not practicing.

Thank you

[liminal_luke]

When practice and normal domestic life clashes, what is one suppose to do? I have been trying to evade this situation, but it seems like it countinues to be unresolved as a result. Any advice?

 

It´s great to have big expanses of time to devote to nothing but practice.  Oh, to be a monk!  But even monks have kitchen duty.  So here´s what you might do.  Instead of feeling irked because your domestic life is clashing with your practice, find ways of integrating practice into that normal life.  If you have to do the dishes, do so mindfully.  Feel the warm suds on your forearms, be aware of the movement of your arm sd you place plates in the drying rack.  In other words: be in the present moment.

 

This works better if your practice centers on awareness and mindfulness, but even martial artists and alchemists can benefit from a little focused attention.  

 

If you look for them, opportunities for practice are everywhere.  Not everything has to be sitting on your zafu for an uninterrupted hour.  Practice "standing" while waiting in line at the post office.  Practice "inner smile" while stopped in traffic.  

 

Normal domestic life is where our practice gets tested.  It´s when we find out if our efforts during periods of formal practice are leading to more harmonious relationships with others, an ability to navigate through the challenges of work and love with greater ease.  Practice is homework to get us ready for the pop quiz of domestic life.

Edited May 25, 2016 by liminal_luke

[Daeluin]

How do other beings in nature balance daily life with practice?

For them they are one and the same.

 

Perhaps it is simpler because they just do, without contemplating emotions or justifying decisions or making plans.

[Clear'Waters]

It´s great to have big expanses of time to devote to nothing but practice.  Oh, to be a monk!  But even monks have kitchen duty.  So here´s what you might do.  Instead of feeling irked because your domestic life is clashing with your practice, find ways of integrating practice into that normal life.  If you have to do the dishes, do so mindfully.  Feel the warm suds on your forearms, be aware of the movement of your arm sd you place plates in the drying rack.  In other words: be in the present moment.

 

This works better if your practice centers on awareness and mindfulness, but even martial artists and alchemists can benefit from a little focused attention.  

 

If you look for them, opportunities for practice are everywhere.  Not everything has to be sitting on your zafu for an uninterrupted hour.  Practice "standing" while waiting in line at the post office.  Practice "inner smile" while stopped in traffic.  

 

Normal domestic life is where our practice gets tested.  It´s when we find out if our efforts during periods of formal practice are leading to more harmonious relationships with others, an ability to navigate through the challenges of work and love with greater ease.  Practice is homework to get us ready for the pop quiz of domestic life.

That makes sense, thank you

[Clear'Waters]

How do other beings in nature balance daily life with practice?

For them they are one and the same.

 

Perhaps it is simpler because they just do, without contemplating emotions or justifying decisions or making plans.

Yeah, maybe its because im making a distinction between the two

[Spotless]

I found waking at 3:30 am and meditating for an hour or more did not disturb anyone.

1 hour at that time and you can go back to sleep and you will need 1 hour less sleep, be more rested and practically float up from bed.

 

If you have babies - take over putting them to sleep - for the time you need to stay by them while they settle, you can meditate.

So you may put them down at 8:00 and meditate until 9:00. If they need you  - no problem - just get up and comfort them.

If you want you can continue meditating for several hours.

 

I do Qi Gong 6 - 7 days a week and my family knows that if its someones birthday - i will still go to practice - anniversary (still practice) pretty much everything but a funeral and a wedding plays second fiddle. They simply do not schedule things that require my participation during my practice.

[Clear'Waters]

I found waking at 3:30 am and meditating for an hour or more did not disturb anyone.

1 hour at that time and you can go back to sleep and you will need 1 hour less sleep, be more rested and practically float up from bed.

 

If you have babies - take over putting them to sleep - for the time you need to stay by them while they settle, you can meditate.

So you may put them down at 8:00 and meditate until 9:00. If they need you  - no problem - just get up and comfort them.

If you want you can continue meditating for several hours.

 

I do Qi Gong 6 - 7 days a week and my family knows that if its someones birthday - i will still go to practice - anniversary (still practice) pretty much everything but a funeral and a wedding plays second fiddle. They simply do not schedule things that require my participation during my practice.

 

Do you set an alarm, or what?

[Spotless]

Do you set an alarm, or what?

 

I did this for so long that waking was just an internal clock but I faintly remember using a silent phone alarm and having it under my pillow. I used the phone more often to tell me when to stop meditating otherwise I would meditate too long and sometimes be wiped out later in the day. I always did at least an hour but frequently I went until my son woke up - it depended on the schedule ahead.

 

 

[joeblast]

As Mr Scott said a few times over the star trek ages,

 

"well,  I guess if its important to ya, ya make the time"

[Spotless]

If you happen to be one to go to sleep late - try adjusting that by an hour or more. For years I went to sleep between midnight and 2am and the idea of going to bed around 8 or 9 seemed ridiculous - now we all hit the sack here around 9.

 

I also sleep in a separate room frequently because I'm up most of the night and my wife's sleep is particularly effected by light - such as iPad light. I can read, meditate, write and listen to music without any worries or walking on egg shells.

 

If I sleep in my son's room (he's 8) it does not matter there - he sleeps like a rock and I can use the iPad or meditate sitting up and it makes no difference. He woke up to me meditating in a chair for years - his room had the best place for sitting - a big chair that I could do lotus on or simply sit with my feet on the ground. I Awoke on that chair.

 

When he was younger I used to sit there in the chair and tell him stories until he fell to sleep - then I would meditate for a few hours and then join my wife in bed.

Edited May 25, 2016 by Spotless

[Papayapple]

Awesome thread. I try to do relaxing disolving breaths in between the tasks at work. Factory work is awesome if you have to do just one simple movement every 10 seconds. You then usually have 5-8 to meditate!

[Rakiel]

Factory work is awesome if you have to do just one simple movement every 10 seconds. You then usually have 5-8 to meditate!

I used to work in the factory. They often asked why I was standing like that...I said "Zhan Zhuang"!"

[thelerner]

I have some tiny side practices I do sometimes.  In the shower there's a chant/canticle (Rawn Clarks YHVH).  In the washroom (when I'm good) I'll do the Glenn Morris Secret Smile quickly.   Late night washroom, I'll stick around a bit and do some of Max Christenson's Kunlun.   Driving I'll do isometrics using the steering wheel, but thats not really meditation.  When I wake up, I'll do Wim Hof breathing or listen to a hypnotic script.

 

To the question of clashes between.  I had a pretty hot and heavy relation.  She had an important party planned, I had Aikido, I chose the class over her, and after that the relation went south.  I probably should have picked the girl over stellar attendance.  Seminars and classes though important are probably less so then family and won't keep you warm at night like a girl friends. 

[Clear'Waters]

I have some tiny side practices I do sometimes.  In the shower there's a chant/canticle (Rawn Clarks YHVH).  In the washroom (when I'm good) I'll do the Glenn Morris Secret Smile quickly.   Late night washroom, I'll stick around a bit and do some of Max Christenson's Kunlun.   Driving I'll do isometrics using the steering wheel, but thats not really meditation.  When I wake up, I'll do Wim Hof breathing or listen to a hypnotic script.

 

To the question of clashes between.  I had a pretty hot and heavy relation.  She had an important party planned, I had Aikido, I chose the class over her, and after that the relation went south.  I probably should have picked the girl over stellar attendance.  Seminars and classes though important are probably less so then family and won't keep you warm at night like a girl friends. 

 

Yeah i can agree with that aspect

[Spotless]

It can be very important at a certain point in your practice to have some signal to use that signifies you have reached some milestone moment or experience which requires you not being around for the evening or weekend - in other words something that your spouse is prepared for.

 

Sometimes you may require that you evaporate from the fairly embedded routine - I do not mean because you need a break from it - I am not in any way shape or form speaking of exhaustion - that is another topic.

 

Sometimes you may really need to go and sit - maybe see three movies in a row - drive a few hundred miles - but you need to be gone and in solitude.

 

I have evaporated so many times - usually not answering the phone - just texting - my wife is very used to it and at this point it is more the norm in some sense. But it was not always that way. This may not be necessary for many years or it may be needed soon - just keep it in mind - communicate about what is going on.

Edited May 26, 2016 by Spotless

[silent thunder]

I was overwhelmed in previously blocked energy when I released the sense of guilt and pressure to 'rigidly practice', or the constant nagging, doubting sense that I wasn't able to do enough because of the demands of family life.  What rubbish!  Life is practice.  Dishes, laundry, my son's homework, building towering scenery, showers, sitting in traffic... awareness, presence and breath are not precluded in any of it.

 

With the realization that my practice is not strict, it's not limited to my cushion time, or to when I'm 'waving my hands in the air', awareness of breath into each action and interaction with energy in all that transpires opened up realization that there is breath and awareness always, no matter what my surrounding conditions, I am always this fluid connection, this viable presence.  Even when I'm not 'aware' of it.  This process is ongoing.

 

It's all cumulative.  Nothing is wasted.  Nothing is lost, it's all grist for the mill. 

We cannot be stained, withered, or broken. 

 

Your intention shines mate.  You're doing fine.

[Clear'Waters]

I was overwhelmed in previously blocked energy when I released the sense of guilt and pressure to 'rigidly practice', or the constant nagging, doubting sense that I wasn't able to do enough because of the demands of family life.  What rubbish!  Life is practice.  Dishes, laundry, my son's homework, building towering scenery, showers, sitting in traffic... awareness, presence and breath are not precluded in any of it.

 

With the realization that my practice is not strict, it's not limited to my cushion time, or to when I'm 'waving my hands in the air', awareness of breath into each action and interaction with energy in all that transpires opened up realization that there is breath and awareness always, no matter what my surrounding conditions, I am always this fluid connection, this viable presence.  Even when I'm not 'aware' of it.  This process is ongoing.

 

It's all cumulative.  Nothing is wasted.  Nothing is lost, it's all grist for the mill. 

We cannot be stained, withered, or broken. 

 

Your intention shines mate.  You're doing fine.

 

Thank you.. I guess it is like my inhaling/ exhaling in 'practice'.. The more I consider it boundries between them, the more rough and seperated they are