spiritual vs non-spiritual partner?

[Marblehead]

Like God you mean? Sure has a similar ring to it 

Good try CT.  Hehehe.  But I cannot deny the commonality in concepts.  A few weeks back I mentioned that I was inclined to stop talking about Dao.  This is one of the reasons.  I'll talk about De.

[Cheshire Cat]

@Shad282

 

there's no shame in following your desires for a partner: you don't need to justify it with philosophical ideas.

Sometimes the compromise works best.

[de_paradise]

Throughout all my years with Kundalini, I've come to the point of narrowing it down to 2 simple guidelines, for life, work, lifestyle, friends, partners, investments, etc:

 

1. Simplify and and do not complicate. When in doubt go towards what brings peace. 

2. Go towards people whose energy makes you feel good, and away from people whose energy messes yours up.

 

These seem quite easy to follow, but they are also easy to forget.

[liminal_luke]

Relationships push people to grow, spiritually and otherwise -- that´s just the nature of the beast.  This is true whether the partner you pick is "spiritual" or not.  Either way, if you opt for a relationship you´re gonna get pushed into growing.  

 

Of course, not being in a relationship is an equally valid path and many people prefer it.  

 

Deciding to be in a relationship is like signing up for an advanced placement intensive course, even though you haven´t really completed the prerequisites, because the teacher is hot.  Best case scenario, you learn a lot but it´s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Edited May 30, 2016 by liminal_luke

[Orion]

I promise I'm not trying to be semantic, but I'm not even sure what the binary of spiritual vs. non-spiritual means. Is a spiritual relationship one where you both talk about spiritual stuff all the time, or do activities together that you'd categorize as spiritual?

 

I guess my problem is that I'm at the point now that I don't even know what "spiritual" means. It's all one reality, in relation. Whatever is, is.

 

I can sit with most people and accept them as they are. The ones that I still have difficulty with are pointing me toward the work that remains. Is that spiritual?

 

When I was younger I tried to have "spiritual" friendships and partners, but in hindsight they were disastrous due to how contrived they were.

[Shad282]

Relationships push people to grow, spiritually and otherwise -- that´s just the nature of the beast.  This is true whether the partner you pick is "spiritual" or not.  Either way, if you opt for a relationship you´re gonna get pushed into growing.  

 

Of course, not being in a relationship is an equally valid path and many people prefer it.  

 

Deciding to be in a relationship is like signing up for an advanced placement intensive course, even though you haven´t really completed the prerequisites, because the teacher is hot.  Best case scenario, you learn a lot but it´s gonna be a bumpy ride.

hahahaha i loved your comparison ! and it is true!

 

I promise I'm not trying to be semantic, but I'm not even sure what the binary of spiritual vs. non-spiritual means. Is a spiritual relationship one where you both talk about spiritual stuff all the time, or do activities together that you'd categorize as spiritual?

 

I guess my problem is that I'm at the point now that I don't even know what "spiritual" means. It's all one reality, in relation. Whatever is, is.

 

I can sit with most people and accept them as they are. The ones that I still have difficulty with are pointing me toward the work that remains. Is that spiritual?

 

When I was younger I tried to have "spiritual" friendships and partners, but in hindsight they were disastrous due to how contrived they were.

by Spiritual, i mean a way of seeing life, the perspective through which you see life. My question is not related to being spiritual, but in whether having same perspective of life vs different perspective of life in a relationship and which is better.

 

My case, My perspective is spirituality, in terms of looking at life through emotions, mindfulness and awareness of the present moment. Trying to find joy in everything and learning from life. 

When a subject about life arises and I speak about how i see life through a mind state of mindfulness and joy and the values i hold from being kind to people, forgiving and allowing the moment and such, a lot of times such perspective and these values are ridiculed and seen as weak or just mumbo jumbo religious values that are just nonsense. 

I don't mind if the person was a friend or a family member, i wouldn't take it personally.. but when it comes to someone i m going to share my life with, a partner, it is not easy to overcome such disagreement since it is going to arise many times since it is a perspective of how you see life.

[Fate]

It is extremely difficult to share a life with someone who does not experience reality in the same way as you-in so far as Energy, chi, and meditation are concerned.

 

This is what I figure the OP means by " a spiritual partner." Not necessarily one that, we'll use Christianity as an example, quotes bible passages or lessons and golden roles to follow. Or in the case of New Age constantly refers to spirit guides, karma, past lives, etc.

 

but someone you can say "wow the vibration of this place is quite beautifully" and your partner is immersed in this it as well. Or any other phenomenon or experience not yet "proven" by science (aka that we can interact with vibrations beyond the 5 senses and have real experiences with that spectrum).

 

From personal experience trying to stay with a partner after waking up that reality almost froze my growth. Its akin to staying in Plato's cave after you have seen the outside world because your partner is there and you're hoping they'll see but in the meantime you're in that cave with them.

Leave the cave and explore, you never know who you'll run into.

 

As far as partners go beyond that I'm working on what Spotless mentioned in this thread about being with someone "as integrated and as vibrant as you" because of how my energy is affected by certain people. At this point even if your partner is spiritual it can even be unhealthy for you to share a psychic space with them given their point in life.

Edited June 1, 2016 by Fate

[sillybearhappyhoneyeater]

If you can't find some kind of empirical way to discuss your spiritual beliefs, it means you are superstitious.

 

My girlfriend hates meditation,

her grandfather was a Daoist and tried to make her meditate as a child, but she would only fall asleep.

She likes normal things like art, culture, food, and money.  It is very grounding for me to be with such a person, since it forces me to attend to the realities of life and anchors me so I don't fly away into the clouds under the false belief that I've achieved something profound.  

 

In short,

the food has to make it to the table before you can eat, so be practical.

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

 

Relationships push people to grow.

 

That's just the nature of the beast.

 

Liminal_luke said it best.

 

...

Edited June 1, 2016 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Fate]

If you can't find some kind of empirical way to discuss your spiritual beliefs, it means you are superstitious.

 

My girlfriend hates meditation,

her grandfather was a Daoist and tried to make her meditate as a child, but she would only fall asleep.

She likes normal things like art, culture, food, and money.  It is very grounding for me to be with such a person, since it forces me to attend to the realities of life and anchors me so I don't fly away into the clouds under the false belief that I've achieved something profound.  

 

In short,

the food has to make it to the table before you can eat, so be practical.

 

I understand the attraction and can see how you justify hers as a grounding presence to balance the "floaty spiritual" nonsense that comes about.

 

I have to disagree with the word "empirical." I have been trying for many years to explain things in a rational way, and that is the best I came come up with. A sort of Rational, Alan Watts Philosophy style way of explaining spirituality. Even then, you sort of can only point in the direction of it. Also subjective experiences of a spiritual plane are beautifully and it simply is not a good feeling when your significant other who you are most vulnerable with laughs at that and refers to (for example) spirit animals as your imaginary friends. Yes they may very well be (the grounding part) but its very real to you!

 

Empirical is lagging very far behind spirituality. They are arriving just now at quantumn "theories" of the universe that have been experienced by ancients for thousands of years. Maybe I am speaking from ignorance here (I don't try to come up with scientific ways to explain myself anymore. One either knows or doesn't, if one knows then laugh, if one doesn't then silence is kept). But the latest empirical evidence is the higgs bolson wherein they can look at the data one of two ways, either the universe is on the verge of chaos and about to dissolve, or in perfect order and harmony?

 

How can you empirically prove something, when by definition empirical science tries to observe nature as if we were something separate than it!

[Karl]

Science does nothing of the sort.

[Shad282]

I understand the attraction and can see how you justify hers as a grounding presence to balance the "floaty spiritual" nonsense that comes about.

 

I have to disagree with the word "empirical." I have been trying for many years to explain things in a rational way, and that is the best I came come up with. A sort of Rational, Alan Watts Philosophy style way of explaining spirituality. Even then, you sort of can only point in the direction of it. Also subjective experiences of a spiritual plane are beautifully and it simply is not a good feeling when your significant other who you are most vulnerable with laughs at that and refers to (for example) spirit animals as your imaginary friends. Yes they may very well be (the grounding part) but its very real to you!

 

Empirical is lagging very far behind spirituality. They are arriving just now at quantumn "theories" of the universe that have been experienced by ancients for thousands of years. Maybe I am speaking from ignorance here (I don't try to come up with scientific ways to explain myself anymore. One either knows or doesn't, if one knows then laugh, if one doesn't then silence is kept). But the latest empirical evidence is the higgs bolson wherein they can look at the data one of two ways, either the universe is on the verge of chaos and about to dissolve, or in perfect order and harmony?

 

How can you empirically prove something, when by definition empirical science tries to observe nature as if we were something separate than it!

 

If you can't find some kind of empirical way to discuss your spiritual beliefs, it means you are superstitious.

 

My girlfriend hates meditation,

her grandfather was a Daoist and tried to make her meditate as a child, but she would only fall asleep.

She likes normal things like art, culture, food, and money.  It is very grounding for me to be with such a person, since it forces me to attend to the realities of life and anchors me so I don't fly away into the clouds under the false belief that I've achieved something profound.  

 

In short,

the food has to make it to the table before you can eat, so be practical.

 

I m not saying that it is better to find a copy of myself in order to get along. All i m talking about is the way of seeing life... your partner can have any hobby, interests from art to whatever faculty that make that person reach a healthy state of mind.

In other words, it is nice to have someone supportive, encouraging, and able to understand your mind and ready to ride the flow with you... the person doesn't have to do meditation or experience energy and spirituality the same you do.. but he can be supportive and love you for the things you believe in and motivate you to grow.

Rather than someone who keeps doubting your believes and make you doubt them and ridicule them and argue with you  or just give a "careless" attitude toward them.

 

I guess the answer is the "middle way" between non-spiritual and spiritual partner.

[Fate]

ah, I better understand what you mean now.

 

I should've just started out with sharing my mom's wisdom because she says great things sometimes (one of my friends says she channels wise spirits and I could see that):

"You need someone who both always loves you and accepts you as you are and also challenges you to grow at the same time. Someone who you're always interested in learning more about, and can keep exploring their depth.

Most of all, respect is needed."

-Paraphrased

I did appreciate the paradox of someone always accepting you and yet still wanting you to grow and seeing your potential as well. Takes a very evolved world view to do both I think. They don't have to do be into the same sort of things but meditating with your partner is definitely a wow experience! (so hopefuly they'd be willing to try it out!)

[Shad282]

ah, I better understand what you mean now.

 

I should've just started out with sharing my mom's wisdom because she says great things sometimes (one of my friends says she channels wise spirits and I could see that):

 

"You need someone who both always loves you and accepts you as you are and also challenges you to grow at the same time. Someone who you're always interested in learning more about, and can keep exploring their depth.

 

Most of all, respect is needed."

-Paraphrased

 

I did appreciate the paradox of someone always accepting you and yet still wanting you to grow and seeing your potential as well. Takes a very evolved world view to do both I think. They don't have to do be into the same sort of things but meditating with your partner is definitely a wow experience! (so hopefuly they'd be willing to try it out!)

yeah, you are right but seems kinda hard to find.

[C T]

My secret level spiritual partner is the Buddhadharma . 

 

Inner level partner is shunyata. 

 

Outer level partner is my girlfriend. 

 

Fail one still have two. 

 

no worries. 

[Astral_butterfly]

You know I am very spiritually minded and my husband is a pragmatic man of very few words. He has no wish to discuss concepts and has a blunt, confident and practical approach to life. Yet he makes me so happy because with him I have a very peaceful and loving household. I "chose" him for his decent and upright character, his very affectionate nature and his sense of devotion and loyalty. What more could one need? There is enough debate and adventure in my own head! Yes you can be happy without including your partner in your explorations.

 

 

Think about this; less noise, more peace. Less analysing conversation, more grounding.

 

 

 

 

I think the most important though is we share a desire to be better each day and we encourage each others' character development. The rest is noise.

Edited June 13, 2016 by Astral_butterfly

[Astral_butterfly]

Is there anyone else here who gave up the need to confide or didn't have it much to start with? At one point I thought I needed to share my whole life story with my partner one day but with my husband I haven't done that and it is still wonderful. I don't even need to tell him if I have had a bad day and neither does he by the way. Sometimes it just comes up as a piece of information related to something else. Talking has become a need-to-know thing for me. This thing of needing to be understood is overated in my opinion. Anyone share this view? Even talking about stressful things that have no bearing on what will happen is not happening. Of course there are necessary chats about things that need addressing but no "venting" as such. Maybe I am just lucky to have someone that feels me on a deeper level than conversation...We seek each other for comfort and like spending time together just to feel each other. Is this common or am I a freak ☺? In this context the needing of a specific type of spiritual or other type of person becomes irrelevant, it is just a matter of having the right energy in the home.

Edited June 13, 2016 by Astral_butterfly

[C T]

Is there anyone else here who gave up the need to confide or didn't have it much to start with? At one point I thought I needed to share my whole life story with my partner one day but with my husband I haven't done that and it is still wonderful. I don't even need to tell him if I have had a bad day and neither does he by the way. Sometimes it just comes up as a piece of information related to something else. Talking has become a need-to-know thing for me. This thing of needing to be understood is overated in my opinion. Anyone share this view? Even talking about stressful things that have no bearing on what will happen is not happening. Of course there are necessary chats about things that need addressing but no "venting" as such. Maybe I am just lucky to have someone that feels me on a deeper level than conversation...We seek each other for comfort and like spending time together just to feel each other. Is this common or am I a freak ☺? In this context the needing of a specific type of spiritual or other type of person becomes irrelevant, it is just a matter of having the right energy in the home.

A quote from a friend on relationship: 

 

I take good care of me.

You take good care of you.

Lets just enjoy this. 

 

 

Reading your post brought it to mind. 

[Astral_butterfly]

 

A quote from a friend on relationship:

 

I take good care of me.

You take good care of you.

Lets just enjoy this.

 

 

Reading your post brought it to mind.

Nice one! You summed it up ☺

Edited June 13, 2016 by Astral_butterfly

[C T]

Nice one! You summed it up ☺

I loved it when i first read it. Still do 

Edited June 13, 2016 by C T

[Shad282]

Is there anyone else here who gave up the need to confide or didn't have it much to start with? At one point I thought I needed to share my whole life story with my partner one day but with my husband I haven't done that and it is still wonderful. I don't even need to tell him if I have had a bad day and neither does he by the way. Sometimes it just comes up as a piece of information related to something else. Talking has become a need-to-know thing for me. This thing of needing to be understood is overated in my opinion. Anyone share this view? Even talking about stressful things that have no bearing on what will happen is not happening. Of course there are necessary chats about things that need addressing but no "venting" as such. Maybe I am just lucky to have someone that feels me on a deeper level than conversation...We seek each other for comfort and like spending time together just to feel each other. Is this common or am I a freak ☺? In this context the needing of a specific type of spiritual or other type of person becomes irrelevant, it is just a matter of having the right energy in the home.

well my personality is not like that.. it is not about venting or anything similar. but i do like to share my life experience and situation with the one that i m sharing my home, my love, my life with. because we can't deny the fact that we influence each others. Even tho. you don't share (your vent) with vocal conversation, you are sharing on energy level. 

That is why it is better to share on all levels just in case there is a problem, it can be fixed by seeing it from a different angle (perspective) making  the overall energy is more harmonious and comfortable/healing.

[Astral_butterfly]

well my personality is not like that.. it is not about venting or anything similar. but i do like to share my life experience and situation with the one that i m sharing my home, my love, my life with. because we can't deny the fact that we influence each others. Even tho. you don't share (your vent) with vocal conversation, you are sharing on energy level.

That is why it is better to share on all levels just in case there is a problem, it can be fixed by seeing it from a different angle (perspective) making the overall energy is more harmonious and comfortable/healing.

Sorry I wasn't knocking you. If it seemed so I do apologise. I just wrote that because I felt like an oddball for my way of functioning. I can understand what you are saying though ☺ in my case if there is anything left in one of us from the day the other person asks what is wrong of course we verbalise if it does linger. But mostly we are just inclined to leave it behind us and be in a happy and safe space.

 

In fact you may very well be the healthier one of us two. I got burnt a lot from expressing myself and it just may be a subconscious block, but right now it feels comfortable.

Edited June 13, 2016 by Astral_butterfly

[Shad282]

Sorry I wasn't knocking you. If it seemed so I do apologise. I just wrote that because I felt like an oddball for my way of functioning. I can understand what you are saying though ☺ in my case if there is anything left in one of us from the day the other person asks what is wrong of course we verbalise if it does linger. But mostly we are just inclined to leave it behind us and be in a happy and safe space.

 

In fact you may very well be the healthier one of us two. I got burnt a lot from expressing myself and it just may be a subconscious block, but right now it feels comfortable.

no no no don't worry!  i was just adding my opinion, my perspective and nothing more hehe

<3 

[Astral_butterfly]

no no no don't worry!  i was just adding my opinion, my perspective and nothing more hehe

<3 

 

I love people like you who like talking and all my friends have been talkative .

[Shad282]

I love people like you who like talking and all my friends have been talkative .

I m talkative and like to know more info and people's experience and their stuff