Thank you.

[Taoway]

Thank you.

Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[doc benway]

We are conditioned from earliest childhood to be addicted to the approval of others.

As long as you buy in to this hypnosis, you will feel inadequate.

As long as you link your happiness to things or others' expectations, you will be unhappy.

It is your choice. 

[Taoway]

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Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[Taoway]

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Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[Jim D.]

I didn't like my legs and the way they looked most of my life. When it came around to when the shorts came out, I didn't like that my calves were not muscular and my legs were as white as florescent light bulbs.

 

So, what I did about my body is I got into action and worked out. My calves have definition...never be Arnold Swortzenager...but they's do.

 

And you know, if a girl liked me for my legs, well, your history. I'd rather be single all my life than change myself and appearance for anyone.

 

Everybody is going to get old, and ugly. :-)

[thelerner]

To take to heart, opinions read over the internet is.. not a good idea.  Stories like that are nasty gossip meant as click bait for someones profit.  Even more often such 'opinions' go after woman, trying to knock down self esteem inorder to get clicks and sell products.

 

Your love life will be determined by how gracious and caring a lover you are.  The actions you do before, during and after the clothes come off. 

[Taoway]

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Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[Aetherous]

www.pegym.com

Where there is a will there is a way. Don't be a victim of life's circumstances...do what it takes to be a master of those circumstances. If this is a problem for you, there is a way to solve it!

 

...

Also, your issue is psychological. You believe that your penis size isn't good enough, and go around the internet finding proof to confirm your belief. Seek and you'll find.

In actuality, it doesn't matter, and the women who write on that website are probably not the type you want to be with anyway.

 

But yeah, it's possible to increase your size, regardless of the fact that the problem here is psychological.

Edited July 4, 2016 by Aetherous

[Taoway]

www.pegym.com

 

Where there is a will there is a way. Don't be a victim of life's circumstances...do what it takes to be a master of those circumstances. If this is a problem for you, there is a way to solve it!

I've been at that website for 2 years. It hasn't worked. And I'm still trying

[Taoway]

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Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[RiverSnake]

Sounds like your insecurity is the real problem, rather than the size of your penis. 

[Taoway]

[

Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[Jim D.]

The is counseling stuff. Sounds like you have what is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Talking about it here is not going to make it better. These guys are not professionals in the field of behaviorlal and mood disorders. The more you talk about it the worse its going to get. The sites that yor are going to are not talking about fact.

 

The woman's vagina is designed in a way so that when a man puts his penis inside her, the vaginal walls collapse around his penis. And very, very few women have vaginal orgasims. According to research "the G spot does not exist." Some say it does, and others say it doesn't. The clitoris extends about 6" back into the vaginal upper wall. Women have body parts and men have women parts. Size doesn't matter to a woman.

 

Don't believe what you see on the porn sites. They get paid to act...all of them...ortherwise they wouldn't do it. The guys that keep it up are taking pills to get it up...and they have fluffers on the side getting them up before the scene take. Everybody's getting paid to objectify sex. Lot's of scenes are taken...cut.....cut...cut. Doesn't sound like fun to me with all those lights and eyes watching me.

 

Remember men give love for sex, and women give sex for love. And then there are guys that love their partner just because.

 

I suspect that you are seeking attention here. You are not living in a box somewhere under a bridge. There are lots of professional resources available out there to help your self esteem problem.

[Taoway]

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Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[Taoway]

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Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[thelerner]

Right and I've tried to hit it at all directions. What am I supposed to do with knowing that?

You're going to have accept yourself; all of yourself sooner or later.  It can be in your 50s, your 40's or today. 

Maybe watch some Popeye or get drunk, but sooner or later you need a WTF moment and just accept yourself.

It may as well be today. 

 

And you know what goes well with WTF, SEP- somebody else's problem.  Some body doesn't like something about you, that's Somebody Else's Problem, cause WTF.  

[Jim D.]

Let me tell you something Taoway. Most therapist are fucked up because they haven't done the work needed on themselves to get the job done.  I know this from experience, I know this from being around these people when I attend  Continuing Education Seminars. Everyone of them, maybe a few don't, are in it because its nice to be over on sick people. But when you hear about their own relationships, they are not any different than you and me. I'll bet you never heard a therapist tell you that they're just as fucked as you are...but working on it. They'd piss their pants if they were made to get that honest!  But no, they just say this session is about you...not me. Or they talk about professional boundaries. O.K. we know who the players are...you're the patient and I'm the therapist. I get it, but quit acting like you were born not having any problems, and get real with me.

 

So, are you going to let some sick fuck be a role model for you. Carl Young had mistresses, one of which he accomadated by beating her with a whip because it got her off. She eventually got well, became a psychiatrist, and dumped him. He would get it on with patients. It could be a mother and then her daughter, if she became his patient. He would be doin both. Freud talked to him about it. But Carl knew better. And look, Carl is in Introduction to Psychology books, and Theory of Personality books. Don't put these guys you look up to on a pedistal. Someone is going to come over and kick that pedistal right over...then what you gonna do?

 

And these bitches who say the bigger the better, well I wasn't a "Johnny Wade" by any means and I did all right for myself. No one complained about my 6" pencil dick...when I was younger. :-)  Just sayin. Who you gonna believe me, or these "wana be's." Get on with your life and get of the "pity pot."

 

Negative does not attract Positive. You know what, I think that you are looking for someone to tell you your right. You want someone to enable you in some way. Pretty soon people are going to get tired of answering your posts. It will get old, real fast.

 

So let's hear what you do like about yourself. Here is the challenge. Write down 25 things you are grateful for and share it with us in a post. I'll start you off...I am grateful for indoor plumbing, that I eat today, I have a belt...NOW YOU.

 

Oh! BTW, if you feel suicidal visit your nearest ER, or call the suicide hotline. You're not my patient, never been my patient. I'm just a guy on the Dao Bums trying to help a guy who is voluntarily looking for advise. Capisce?

 

If I don't see the 25 things your grateful for on your next post, good luck chasing your tail.

Edited July 4, 2016 by Jim D.

[Karl]

I've been in and out of therapy all my life. I haven't found someone yet who has been able to help me through this problem.

I blame society for being so godaamn toxic. Where a young man like me has no outlets to see things realistically. Everyone's running around seekxing pleasure in the most selfish way possible. There's no older male figure I can look up to like Nikola tesla or neitchze or Carl jung Someone who can tell me in the best of ways why this is such a silly thing to be concerned with.

Yes, hedonism (the seeking of pleasure for the sake of pleasure) is very apparent today. You know that to be true, so that's why you feel the world is toxic. Something doesn't seem right does it ? The world that everyone else seems to be inhabiting appears to be one in which you are an alien.

 

You have two choices:

 

1. You either ditch your mind and become a mindless drone, like a honey bee going from flower to flower in search of nectar.

 

Or

 

2. You stop trying to 'fit in' to the hive. The endless search for valueless pleasure is a fools errand.

 

 

You have been taught that you must seek pleasure, through state education, books, media, other people. The system is set up to take advantage of your emotional side and direct you to behave in a consistent manner. Get a job, get respect of peers, buy stuff, have sex. Do all these things to gain pleasure at any cost.

 

So, I'm going to suggest you read two fiction books. The first explains what this current system is all about 'brave new world' by Aldous Huxley. The second is about a way to be and think that shrugs off the hedonistic and shows you how to be a hero of your own life. How to be an independent, reasoning, productive, honest, integral, just and proud man. It's called 'the fountain head' by Ayn Rand.

 

The path of the independent hero is not an easy one. It flies in the face of the society that tells you to 'fit' in. You will become a rock in a river. Take heart, because there are many other like you, but they aren't the majority. You must set out your stall for a grander vision. There are women looking for men with the right values, as there are men looking for women-not just for pleasure. It is the mind that relates to another. Pleasure is something gained from earning a value, it is not a value to be gained because you already have that capacity within you.

[Taoway]

Thank you

Edited August 14, 2016 by Taoway

[Jim D.]

O.K. now you're moving ahead. You got 21 to go.

 

If you are talented as much as you say you are then over-compensate.  Work hard at that, and you will become the man that a real woman will appreciate. You're 20. Now imagine 15 years from now what women are going to want. They're going to want a man that can support them. That means you concentrate on making money now and the next day, and the next. They are going to want a man who wants to nest. So, give up worrying about penis size and work on how to cherish a woman and respect a woman...study women and learn what they really want. Most women are playing a role to attract men. That's not how they really are inside.

 

You know what kids are talking about in grade school...giving oral sex. Do you know what college women are doing to prevent pregnancy...anal sex. They don't consider taking it in the poop shut to be sex. When I was coming up getting a hand job was a big think...or "copping a feel." If you got a blow job it was usually from a "Skank" not someone you were  gonna to marry.  That's how the sexual mores have changed over time.

 

I use to be ashamed of my penis size, way back when. It came from the guys talking about "how you hangin."  Me, I am normal size, maybe a little compact depending on the temperature. Buy when it came to getting it on, I looked like any other guy. The guys with the big schwantz looked odd, like how are you gonna get that all in there. Your gonna have to wear a torniquette around it so you don't go to deep and hurt her. I knew this guy in the neighborhood, his dick was so long he could sit on it, and you could see his penis head peeking out from under his ass. Now that's weird. He was in High School. He probably needed  a bungie cord to strap it to his thigh when he went out later when he got into his 20's. I don't know.

 

Use to be a popular thing for guys in the 80's who were bar hopping, to wear a sausage strapped to their thighs. I mean it. Real stupid. And on top of that, they purposley wore tight, real tight pants so as to make it stand out. Now what do you think the girl thought when she stroked that sausage out in the car with him. Or what do you think she thought when she pulled his pants down to get at it.

 

Respect yourself. You were born with the body you have, and your going to die with the same body.

 

If you really want to get laid, and that's what this is about, than pay for it. They're not going to laugh at you. But wear a condum, five of them.

 

In the mean time, love yourself and "wack off."  Takes the pressure off.

Edited July 5, 2016 by Jim D.

[roger]

Right and I've tried to hit it at all directions. What am I supposed to do with knowing that?

 

I feel terribly uncomfortable and resentful being in my body.what is one to do? There aren't any movements to make men feel empowered and accepting in their own skin. What the hell am I to do with the knowledge that I have an insecurity and it drives my suffering

 

 

You might need to understand the MEANING of your worthiness if you want to feel worthy.

 

The Universal is worthy, you ARE the Universal, therefore YOU are worthy.

 

That's HOW and WHY you're worthy.

 

Nothing can make a person either more or less worthy than they already are. We are all equals.

[blackstar212]

I agree with Jim D 21 to go. It is important to be balanced. So list those things that you appreciate. Contentment is wealth... Lao Tzu.

[Jim D.]

You see TaoWay, you got two guys in your corner that relate.

[Andrei]

Taoway, the way you put the problem is wrong.

 

Women don't care about the size (too much) really. If your tool is a little longer and a little thicker than a finger is good enough for its purpose. You still can reach her G spot (which is at 1-2 in deep inside) and definitely you can reach the deep spot even with the finger if you put her in a certain position. Just make sure you go after smaller women than your height and that is good enough, they will always look after taller guys than them. But other than that this is what a woman needs and it looks for:

 

https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2013/12/7-things-women-need-in-a-relationship/

[Orion]

There are many layers to this...

 

A lot of big dicked guys like showing off their big dick, and you know what they get for it? Partners who are only interested in their big dick. Do you really want someone whose interest in you is mainly based on that?

 

Our culture's body image is warped. Most guys have 5-6 inch penises, but pop culture, as usual, asserts the unattainable. A very small portion of men have penises above 6.5 inches. That demographic gets exponentially smaller the larger you go.

 

A lot of younger women, I notice, fetishize big dicks, but a lot of experienced women will tell you that shape is just as important as size. Not to mention people with a modicum of maturity are going to look at the entire being and not just one piece of flesh.

 

And anyway, sex is about creativity. There are lots of guys with big penises who don't feel they have to try because their size entitles them to automatically be awesome.

 

Diversify your perspective.

Edited July 5, 2016 by Orion