when universe is teacher

[Karl]

Yes, the 12 Steps, especially the 3rd Step..."Turn you will and life over to the care of God as we understand it"...was very impactful. I was easy to accept the 3rd step because I was raised Catholic and believed in Jesus and God as Higher Powers. AA was highly influenced by Catholicism in the 1930's when it was developing. The meetings end with the Lord's Prayer. Sometimes I remain silent and sometimes I just join in with the group...they are just words, and I don't want to bring attention to me and my belief system.

 

Was it Plato who was given something to drink that would kill him? If I remember corretly he told his student that if you stand for something than you should be able to die for it. Well, I don't think that anymore. Whoever is in charge of my life, that is what I believe. So, if the Pontius Pilot wants me to throw insence on the fire and say he is God, I will. Life with the absence of torture is a lot better. I am just an organism in the evolutionary chain trying to live one day at a time for as long as I can.

 

Besides, my mutilated body will be dead, and life will go on.

 

According to the Knostic Bible, Jesus may not have been crucified. I could have been a stand in. Seriously. Jesus could have been an Existential thought or concept.

 

I like my 3rd Step...'turn your will and life over to Jim...' that works for me.

Your self approved coping strategy which brings order from chaos and makes sense of life. I get that.

[sagebrush]

I needed to buy liquid iron. I don't swallow pills very well. so as I am at the health store I see several brands.

 

I picked Gaia brand intentionally..because of the way the Universe has unfolded for me. I would not have known the word otherwise thus far.

 

turning my will and life over to Jim?

 

maybe I better reread.

[sagebrush]

I am guessing here that my comments about God in a reactive measure not responsive are going to be clarified.

 

I have emotional excitement when I go back and think of a particular moment. There was a memory(which I agree are not trust worthy-faulty)

 

I turned the corner from the dinning room into the living room years ago-terrified of the space inside--it was HUGE opening?

and I was scared and I began to cry and tell my mother in the living room about the feeling/others......

 

that was years ago-

 

I have made mistakes on a grand scale. I do not live without regret. For you it may be illusion, for me too but maybe not to the extent you may view it. I don't know.

 

I would do things differently if I had the opportunity. Not sure what is happening. Taking steps.

[sagebrush]

I can't be in charge of ALL of it.

[Karl]

I needed to buy liquid iron. I don't swallow pills very well. so as I am at the health store I see several brands.

 

I picked Gaia brand intentionally..because of the way the Universe has unfolded for me. I would not have known the word otherwise thus far.

 

turning my will and life over to Jim?

 

maybe I better reread.

Jim means to himself instead of a Jesus/God. Not others turning their lives over to Jim, or at least I hope that's what he means unless he has become invested in that Neitzchian superman shit.

[Jim D.]

'turn you will and life over to Jim" was meant humorously. This phrase was true for me in my 20's. But the phrase is a parody on the Step 3 in the 12 Steps of AA.

 

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood Him"

Edited July 21, 2016 by Jim D.

[sagebrush]

years ago I tried to donate blood AB-

it was during community college-red cross was doing a blood drive

I have been able to donate before-but not that day. they did a finger prick blood test and my iron was too low-not surprised because of my so called auto immune issue.

I will look into the vitamin D--I read about it last night-maybe today- not clear when-maybe this morning

not important but it was recent  I read the passage.

I have all the signs of deficiency.

Lots to consider here-in general.

I would never be an AA member.

Edited July 21, 2016 by sagebrush

[Karl]

'turn you will and life over to Jim" was meant humorously. This phrase was true for me in my 20's. But the phrase is a parody on the Step 3 in the 12 Steps of AA.

 

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood Him"

I was listening to a recent podcast by Leonard Piekoff which covered AA from an objectivist perspective. Somebody had asked the question regarding the use of religion in the 12 step programme as possibly being unethical, but of course AA isn't teaching religion, it tries to create a ladder to get people out of alcoholism using somethin unimpeachable-God, Jesus, the Universe, or Jim.

[sagebrush]

well I am sure it has its merit.

too public for me to attend meetings.

my mind and personality and person struggles of anxiety and uncomfortable

identifying with contentment is being able to relax as best possible in the moments that pass

having my own condo is peaceful

I can be closer to my mother living outside her house

not sure how I made it this far-

 

I google searched bao dums this morning- not that I am dumb, it is bowel issues because of poor choices...some have very heavy consequences.

I am late to work

it made me laugh-because it is so true.

outside my window this morning I am watching the sunflowers grow

many books are published on photosynthesis, Monsanto, growing gardens,

what I am discovering is not new

but to see clearly now that each day the sunflower(the flower bud not yet opened and the top layer of leaves moves and travels

in the direction of the sun.

so in the morning it is facing east of course which is left from my viewing windows

and by the evening is facing the west-to the right

everyday

bao dums-

 I believe because of my poor choices and lack of discipline

I have made myself sick.

I had a smile over boa dums

off I go to work now-very late.

yoga last night-

Wednesday class is in a mortuary because the instructor can use facility for free.

what I know is that I am not the least bit certain of anything but how odd it is to be a human being

-me

[Jim D.]

When the teacher is ready the Universe appears.

[sagebrush]

in the space which thought creates around itself there is no love.

this space divides man from man, and in it is all the becoming, the battle of life, the agony and fear.

meditation is the ending of this space, the ending of "me".

j. krishnamurti

 

pink and yellow moth-

[Jim D.]

The Universe when Broken down is a matter of mathematics, so is thought.

[Karl]

The Universe when Broken down is a matter of mathematics, so is thought.

Man created the concept of mathematics in order to describe the universe. There is no such thing as an entity called mathematics it's a conceptual abstraction as are words.

[Jim D.]

Yes, I agree with you Karl. It is something I read. I couldn't have figured it out myself. Most of what you hear from me is something that I was told, or read, or learned. In and of myself, I am the composite of being reborn through my Recovery Program. In other words, I had to have help growning up starting at the tender age of 38 going on 13.

 

Most of what I know today is useless information, even my Education and experience. Lucky for me, people still believe in useless information and will pay for it.

 

I haven't heard from you in a while. Just a few posts. Are you posting somewhere else?

[sagebrush]

ok how about this?

 

then I believe that I may continue in a more beneficial direction

 

if you could have gotten up and walked out of the room yesterday(symbolically speaking)

would you have done so?

 

this is a simple yes or no.

 

then I will be clear on your face and how I go about conducting as best possibly more peace for future days.

 

I cannot see beyond that particular meeting from MPOV

 

thank you

[Jim D.]

The space that I preceive is the lag time between comments. I do not know what MPOV stands for? I do not understand my walking out of the room yesterday?

[sagebrush]

my point of view

 

 

 

write it

paint it

create it

[Jim D.]

I am not understanding you. Scrap the metaphor and say it like it is. Thanks.

[sagebrush]

look I have taken the day off-

 

its been weird

 

its seems artistic and fun

but I am struggling with sexual energy

not in this moment

[sagebrush]

I am reviewing note cards from spectrum center school of massage

I attended in early 90's

 

some are muscles and some are bones

study guides

[sagebrush]

are you wanting me to literally paint the imagery of the story?

[sagebrush]

I can begin to work on that

 

take me back to the view of the garden that was here at doa bums that I can't see and I will do that first

[sagebrush]

I would start with water colors

[Jim D.]

look I have taken the day off-

 

its been weird

 

its seems artistic and fun

but I am struggling with sexual energy

not in this moment

 

A critique:

 

Unless you are talking with yourself, and that is what it seems to me, your audience is not getting it. It is like Picaso's expecting the viewer to make sense out of his "melting and rubbery clock" paintings

 

Yes, I would ask you to spell it out for me if I was in your class.

[sagebrush]

ok

 

pretty

gross

odor

get

out

quick

 

deep lateral rotators

 

first letter of each word

 

P-piriformis

G- gemellus superior

O- Obturator intermus

G- Gemellus inferior

O obturator externus

Q- quadratus femoris

 

Picasso did not paint the melting rubbery clock ....btw