Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

[SecretGrotto]

This post aims to share recent results from Zhan Zhuang practice, and to also elicit any forthcoming advice about naming of meridian lines and general advice also.

 

At 31 yo (male) I have increasing suffered over the years from low back pain due to jing depletion and from liver issues due to late sleeping in my student years (no alcohol). When I do get aroused sexually, I immediate feel a radiating pain to the sides of my lower back above the buttocks. Whenever I engage sexually I suffer lower back pain for days afterward with foggy memory and slow cognition in tow. Abstaining and He Shou Wu helps me to recover well, but it takes a couple of months.

 

I have started a strict Zhan Zhuang (ZZ) regimen recently, doing 30 minutes at sunrise and 30 minutes at sunset every day. I also ensure that I am up and awake between sunrise and sunset and I do not sleep during the day. For the past 3 months I have also ensured that I do not get aroused sexually at all, so much so that I actively move away from any stimulating visuals I am confronted with.

 

ZZ is performed at a low enough stance with enough quadricep activation to induce leg/whole body shaking in 5-10 minutes. Knees and feet are pointing in the same direction and knees do not jut beyond feet, 60% weight on back of foot, perineum tilted forward, hands in front of LDT, elbows tend upward, shoulder blades tend to be winged. Muscle pain is ok, joint pain is avoided. Tendency is for whole body position to be as if in movement, so focus, intention, work in muscle engagement with effort to relax as well.

 

The ZZ has immediately exposed the core weakness around my lower back, which I know is primarily due to jing depletion over many years. A wider low stance with significant quad activation involves the lines starting at my lower back above each buttock snaking to the hip and down the side legs (what meridian does this correspond to?).

 

I believe that I have tapped into these "meridians" connected to kidneys/Ming Men area to compensate for excessive jing depletion, which has significantly damaged/weakened these meridians. Weakness and sensation in these low-back/leg meridians are directly associated with jing depletion and consequently low energy/vitality/courage, and thus with the kidneys.

 

Results from ZZ include exposure of this weakness as alternating pain/heating/comfort centered at the two points above the buttocks on the low back. Also there is at times a real feeling of overall body comfort and of, what I can best describe as, desert land enjoying welcome rain, i.e. it is as if there is a liquid quenching of the whole body accompanied by feelings of gratitude and courage.

 

I always knew that I would have to wholeheartedly engage ZZ to heal these issues, but only recently did I muster up the courage to do what is generally an uncomfortable exercise.

Edited July 18, 2016 by SecretGrotto

[SecretGrotto]

I almost want to say that my condition is sciatica, except that there is no pain moving down the leg. The pain is concentrated around the sacroiliac joint.

 

 

Standing in ZZ most of the pain sensation is felt around the sacroiliac joint (SJ) and it becomes amplified in proper low position. Last night, before bed, sitting in meditation I could feel a new sensation of energy flow from the SJ down the thighs. Although I still feel a lot of pain during the day, alternating with feelings of comfort.

 

The pain is now so much in ZZ that I had to cut 5 minutes from the stand this morning. My whole body shakes involuntarily within 5 minutes and I have to make sounds to get through the experience.

 

I know what you're thinking, my position must be wrong and I'm stressing the joints, but I really don't think that's the case. The SJ pain is associated more with quadricep activation and my stance is actually not that low at all. Feet slightly wider than shoulder width, and I bend the knees just enough to activate the legs. I feel it is an energetic/weak meridian issue rather than any joint issue. I do conservative stretching before ZZ to stretch the quads, hamstrings and so forth.

 

As I've said before, I definitely think this is an energetic issue as the SJ pain always becomes aggravated after jing depletion and at the end of stressful days. I have no musculoskeletal issues to speak of, with the exception of some bad posture tendencies perhaps. Also, after 3 months of celibacy the SJ pain was very far in the background, it's only when I started ZZ that the pain started to gradually surface again.

 

I wish there was a local Tuina/energy practitioner that I could work with, but the only guy we had left for Asia so I'll have to weather the storm by myself. I visited the best acupuncturist I could find, but I believe a couple of ZZ sessions gives far better results than the treatments I had with him.

[blue eyed snake]

well,

I do not really feel qualified, but also recognize some things,so regard this as my tuppence.

 

if you're selfdiagnosis of chiblockage ( instead of a ' real' sciatica) is right.

 

Then you may consider to ride your horse a bit thinner and higher up, so as to lessen the pain and prolong the standing. Blocks like that have to be washed away like water erodes stones, slow and gentle. You cannot hammer them away... be gentle with your body

 

Vocalizing can be a lot of things, from grunting or screaming to real vocalizing , making ah, or oh etc. sounds. making the pain and shaking a little less may help you to focus on the sounds you make and go along with them.

 

Blowing may also help, like a child blowing out a candle.

 

after standing I would advise some shaking, but more specified: you stand firmly on one leg and lean with the corresponding hand to a wall or something. Then you shake out the other leg, toes upward, leg a bit backwards, leg straight but loose. Then just shakeout from the hip. Some people like visualizing that bad chi leaves the body that way, but there's not really need to do that, it works anyway. This you repeat three times for each leg. When you finish you should feel the feet being nice and warm and the legs like eh... warm and loosened up.

 

when it works you might become aware of moving pain in your legs, if that happens do not worry but do the leg shaking some more. Might take some time reading your story.

 

you may also try stretching lying down. You need a big bed (or a soft floor) for it.

 

you lie down, the legs just a little apart, feet with toes pointing upwards, the arms raised above the head. no pillow, so that the chin will naturally become a little tucked in. then you stretch. Hands in 'sitting posture' , bend back at the wrists) First the whole body. then only the right ( or left) side and vice versa) slowly build it up. You can easily overstretch yourself that way  ouch...) keep up the stretch act for about 5 minutes, after that you lower the arms, lay them beside your body, slightly apart from the body, palms up and relax, you can also go on meditating then, by just bringing awareness on dantien. But keep the relaxing up for say at least 15 minutes, better half an hour.

 

In general for the kind of pain you describe my teacher advises people to regularly lay down, flat on the back for half an hour.

that gives the tissue/fluids between the bones the chance to recuperate, to restore the balance.

 

Love Bes

 

oh, and keep looking for professional help, maybe it'll come onto your path now that you've taken real action 

 

and another one, how is your posture in daily life, more specific, when you walk/ stand are the toes straight or looking outwards/inwards.

Edited July 21, 2016 by blue eyed snake

[SecretGrotto]

Great advice all-round, thanks BES. At times I do make a long coherent sound and focus on the vibrations, and it helps. The slow gentle erosion of blockage is also a sensible idea.

 

I'm starting to remember more of this low-back pain issue now. It has actually been a problem I've been struggling with increasingly from age 20 onward, exacerbated by frequent jing depletion and stressful days at university. What I remember is that the low-back meridians are directly tied to the fear impulse to defecate, or to shit one's pants when confronted by terror.

 

I would often had to have bowel-movements before exams and such, as it relieved the nervous impulse, AND this fear impulse always worsened after jing depletion. When I would abstain from jing depletion then the problem would mostly go away.

 

So I really feel as if all of this is connected, the low-back pain, kidney/jing deficiencies, lack of courage, defecation impulse, stress and fear, all of these are tied together. My 5 element natal chart shows very strong water element, but I am very weak in the other elements. I think maybe my kidneys could cope with the jing depletion and abuse/disregard, and that I tapped into other organs/meridians to fuel/cope with the excess demand, and now my energy body is deeply hurt/damaged around my lower-back/SJ.

[小梦想]

.

Edited August 10, 2018 by 小梦想

[SecretGrotto]

Thanks for your post, I really appreciate it, and it was not the answer I was expecting. I also had cold clammy hands increasingly from age 16 onward.

 

Which - ion generator would you recommend I buy, I definitely want to try it out.

 

Also, I am curious, what is the basis upon which negative ions can influence jing/qi?

Edited July 21, 2016 by SecretGrotto

[cheya]

You might read The Ion Effect, by Fred Soyka. This book doesn't talk about jing/qi, but it does talk in depth about the amazing effects of negative ions on health.  It starts with the author trying to puzzle out his own health problems, and follows along to some pretty amazing discoveries. The book is old, cheap on Amazon, but will totally convince you to pay more attention to your ion environment.

Edited August 8, 2016 by cheya

[小梦想]

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Edited August 10, 2018 by 小梦想

[dwai]

I almost want to say that my condition is sciatica, except that there is no pain moving down the leg. The pain is concentrated around the sacroiliac joint.

 

 

Standing in ZZ most of the pain sensation is felt around the sacroiliac joint (SJ) and it becomes amplified in proper low position. Last night, before bed, sitting in meditation I could feel a new sensation of energy flow from the SJ down the thighs. Although I still feel a lot of pain during the day, alternating with feelings of comfort.

 

The pain is now so much in ZZ that I had to cut 5 minutes from the stand this morning. My whole body shakes involuntarily within 5 minutes and I have to make sounds to get through the experience.

 

I know what you're thinking, my position must be wrong and I'm stressing the joints, but I really don't think that's the case. The SJ pain is associated more with quadricep activation and my stance is actually not that low at all. Feet slightly wider than shoulder width, and I bend the knees just enough to activate the legs. I feel it is an energetic/weak meridian issue rather than any joint issue. I do conservative stretching before ZZ to stretch the quads, hamstrings and so forth.

 

As I've said before, I definitely think this is an energetic issue as the SJ pain always becomes aggravated after jing depletion and at the end of stressful days. I have no musculoskeletal issues to speak of, with the exception of some bad posture tendencies perhaps. Also, after 3 months of celibacy the SJ pain was very far in the background, it's only when I started ZZ that the pain started to gradually surface again.

 

I wish there was a local Tuina/energy practitioner that I could work with, but the only guy we had left for Asia so I'll have to weather the storm by myself. I visited the best acupuncturist I could find, but I believe a couple of ZZ sessions gives far better results than the treatments I had with him.

Don't force the horse stance. It's okay to stand in a higher stance and just relax. Don't fight gravity, connect with and harmonize with it. The key in good standing practice is to not allow physical strain. That's my 2 cents worth doing standing for more than 1-2+ hours a day since past 15 years

[小梦想]

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Edited August 10, 2018 by 小梦想

[blue eyed snake]

I couldn't agree more. There seems to be a tendency for people to want to go deeper because they want the vibration to happen. Somehow in the west this has become a requirement for zhanzhuang practice.

 

If you are doing it for cultivation or health purposes, then you only require a slight bend in the knee. This opens up the kidney channel and you will get the benefit. Going deeper and starting to shake doesn't really bring much health benefit other than straining the muscles more.

 

Not to mention, it's hard to stay in a meditative state when you are shaking and hurting. 

 

thank you guys, i wanted to write that, but as advice from an elderly lady (with not that much experience in energetic work) to a relatively young guy i felt restricted/restrained...

Edited July 22, 2016 by blue eyed snake

[blue eyed snake]

Great advice all-round, thanks BES. At times I do make a long coherent sound and focus on the vibrations, and it helps. The slow gentle erosion of blockage is also a sensible idea.

 

That's good, go on with that and see that you let that sound come from deep down, not only from the lungs but from the lower belly ( or your toes  )

 

I'm starting to remember more of this low-back pain issue now. It has actually been a problem I've been struggling with increasingly from age 20 onward, exacerbated by frequent jing depletion and stressful days at university. What I remember is that the low-back meridians are directly tied to the fear impulse to defecate, or to shit one's pants when confronted by terror.

 

so now that your wiggling the blockage, the mind starts to see how it came to be. it's a combination of stress and sexual things I get...maybe you should try to tackle the stressy part and after that get laid...and get her on top. better for your backside

 

I would often had to have bowel-movements before exams and such, as it relieved the nervous impulse, AND this fear impulse always worsened after jing depletion. When I would abstain from jing depletion then the problem would mostly go away.

 

So I really feel as if all of this is connected, the low-back pain, kidney/jing deficiencies, lack of courage, defecation impulse, stress and fear, all of these are tied together. My 5 element natal chart shows very strong water element, but I am very weak in the other elements. I think maybe my kidneys could cope with the jing depletion and abuse/disregard, and that I tapped into other organs/meridians to fuel/cope with the excess demand, and now my energy body is deeply hurt/damaged around my lower-back/SJ.

 

Do not worry about deeply hurt/damages too much. your relatively young and the body can heal many things when you allow it to do that.

 

it's the worrying that you do that makes it worse. And when you're getting the bodily blocks looser, the mind will get better, you will worru less, then the bodily block can open more etcetera, just takes time, and takes courage to go for it.

 

I do not believe that you have a lack of courage, you''ll see

 

and  Ridgzin had a nice topic on yawning, maybe worth your while

http://www.thedaobums.com/topic/41288-working-with-speech-yawning-and-sighing/?hl=yawning

 

love Bes

 

 

[Gerard]

Born in 1985, right?

 

You definitively need movement as born in a Wood year. In any case you need movement especially in our day and age where people live sedentary lifestyles.

 

The pain you have is a result of accumulated heat in the Dai Mai channel, Liver and GB as well as probably having a tight Bladder channel due to postural issues, lack of activity and excessive sexual activity.

 

Taijiquan, Bagua, Xingyi and moving meditation are all excellent methods for removing those blockages.

 

Make sure you incorporate the Asian squat routine in your training: do it as often and as long as you like. It should be your second nature, squat down and stay there like our ancestors did.

 

 

Good luck!

[SecretGrotto]

I have actually been wishing you would also respond, as I have received much wisdom from your posts. Thank you.

 

Born in 1985, right?

 

Yes, I'm a wood rat I believe.

 

You definitively need movement as born in a Wood year. In any case you need movement especially in our day and age where people live sedentary lifestyles.

 

I never realized that.

 

The pain you have is a result of accumulated heat in the Dai Mai channel, Liver and GB as well as probably having a tight Bladder channel due to postural issues, lack of activity and excessive sexual activity.

 

An acupuncturist also pointed out the Dai Mai channel.

Incidentally, when I use bitter Aloe Ferox juice all my symptoms are significantly relieved, pointing to possible Liver Fire.

 

Taijiquan, Bagua, Xingyi and moving meditation are all excellent methods for removing those blockages.

 

Make sure you incorporate the Asian squat routine in your training: do it as often and as long as you like. It should be your second nature, squat down and stay there like our ancestors did.

 

That's great, I've never really done that before, thanks for the advice.

 

Good luck!

[WisteriaWinds]

That's why we feel charged up after it rains.

 

 

Hi, this is going to be an answer you are not expecting.

 

I struggled with the same thing. Preheaven kidney yang deficiency. Lower back pain, cold sweaty hands, frequent urination and an overall feeling of not being 100%. I struggled for many years.

 

I have been doing ZhanZhuang for the past two years, and in the past 6 months, i've made more progress with my issues, than the entire year and a half before that.

The only difference to my routine, was to put a powerful Negative Ion Generator in my bedroom, and to do my practice in the vicinity of it. Most people tend to either not know about Negative Ions or dismiss them as a hyped up thing from the 50s.

 

I can tell you that, since having one, i've bought 2 more, one for every room in the house that i tend to spend most time in. My girlfriend also noticed various improvements to small ailments bothering her. I even manufacture and sell my own Ionizers now in cooperation with the chinese manufacturer who made the ones that I initially bought. They were unsightly, but extremely powerful. We just made some changes to bring them up to western standards. Ill open for business in a few weeks.

 

I would not have done this if they did nothing. My kidney yang deficiency is almost completely resolved after 6 months and I had the problem for as long as I can remember. This has been confirmed by an amazing TCM doctor here in china. My jing levels are also much much better than before.

They do wonders for anyone wishing to cultivate. There is in my mind, definitely a link between cultivation and negative ions. I'll stop going on about it now, because I could speak for ages about the health benefits they bring. If you want more information, please PM me as i think it's against the rules to advertise on here. This wasn't my intention at all even though i believe every home should have one.

 

This is worth having a look at. Studies done on Negative Ions by a Japanese Doctor.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTRtKby8P80

 

I just believe they can give you that little bit of a boost your body needs to recover.

[Andrei]

I used to practice Zhan Zhuang with an air ionizer and indeed I was feeling I was charging with Yin energy. But if I would do it for more than 5 minutes a day everyday after a week or so I would have caught a cold so the Yin-Yang balance was reversed towards Yin excess in the lungs. So for this reason I had to quit the practice with the air ionizer. Then I started doing ZhanZhuang on a zapper with copper feet pads. I was feeling the kidney meridians were charging with negative ions (electricity) but that too lead to imbalance after a long time of practice. Because negative ions are one thing but you also need to eat substances that the body needs to build hormones and tissues, which are the in the composition of Jing like Calcium, Magnesium, Potasium, Zinc, Vitamins A,B,C,D,K etc not to mention the cholesterol which is the precursor of all sexual hormones.

 

To be honest you should monitor and be aware of your Yin-Yang energies and keep them in balance all the time.

If the Zhan zhuang practice makes you shake and pain in the low back area this is a signal from the body that you have to stop.

Actually the shaking is excess wind (wich may be due to Jing deficiency in the Liver-Wood so Gerard was right about you being a Wood type person) which is a Liver Yin deficiency in terms of TCM. Also the Urinary Bladder meridian passes through the Sacrum and runs parallel with the Sciatic nerve so you may be as well Kidney Yin deficient.

 

If you are kidney-liver Yin deficient you may try He Show Wu or Six Rehmannia formula, and quit doing Zhan Zhuang if your pain increases with the practice instead of decreasing.

 

I myself am a kidney-liver Yin deficient (not because I exhausted my Jing but because of my natal Bazi chart so for me is a chronic Yin deficiency that advanced as I age) and the only way I can control my back pain is eating highly nutritious Yin food like eggs, meat, omega-3 fats like fish oil and avocados and going to gym and exercising the back and leg muscles with dead lifts, rows, lounges and squats.

 

You may have Yang deficiency but I doubt about that, because if you have Yang deficiency and practice Zhan Zhuang, the practice makes you feel good because it gives you the energy that is missing. But again I doubt about that because you are shaking and this is a sign of Yin deficiency. By the way shaking comes form the brain that does not produce enough dopamine to fill the dopamine receptors, so this is also because of excessive sexual behavior but dopamine production can be increased with the aforementioned methods. And pain comes from lack of serotonin in your system especially in those meridians because serotonin is the neurotransmitter that responds to negative ions.

[Aetherous]

Speaking from a musculoskeletal level...most people's pelvises are held out of alignment, causing SI joint problems, and can easily be put back into place (and as a result have the pain go away) with muscle energy technique. PTs and ATs do it...maayyyybe some massage therapists.

[Gerard]

Thank you.

 

Not a problem at all.

 

Wood Rat.

 

One of the younger students of my Bagua teacher is also a Wood Rat. I remember him when he first attended Bagua around 2010...pretty messed up young man. 2 years later and he looked like a new human being. The Shen pouring out of his eyes like laser beams.

 

Yes the Asian squat and staying low in a resting position is a healing wonder and also brings us close to Earth, close to the Yin and the Jing...and how Humanity has offended them so badly for the last 200 years with the start of the Industrial Revolution and the birth of the mechanical and sophisticated 'thinking' man. It has also deviated from the Laws of Heaven. Humanity is lost right now...not good.

 

Also check for Middle and Lower Jiao blockages/accumulation of toxins due to liver fire, excessive thinking, lust, criticism and having a fixed mindset, eating too fast instead of mindfully, and incorrect food according to your body type.

[小梦想]

.

Edited August 10, 2018 by 小梦想

[SecretGrotto]

I used to practice Zhan Zhuang with an air ionizer and indeed I was feeling I was charging with Yin energy. But if I would do it for more than 5 minutes a day everyday after a week or so I would have caught a cold so the Yin-Yang balance was reversed towards Yin excess in the lungs. So for this reason I had to quit the practice with the air ionizer. Then I started doing ZhanZhuang on a zapper with copper feet pads. I was feeling the kidney meridians were charging with negative ions (electricity) but that too lead to imbalance after a long time of practice. Because negative ions are one thing but you also need to eat substances that the body needs to build hormones and tissues, which are the in the composition of Jing like Calcium, Magnesium, Potasium, Zinc, Vitamins A,B,C,D,K etc not to mention the cholesterol which is the precursor of all sexual hormones.

 

To be honest you should monitor and be aware of your Yin-Yang energies and keep them in balance all the time.

If the Zhan zhuang practice makes you shake and pain in the low back area this is a signal from the body that you have to stop.

Actually the shaking is excess wind (wich may be due to Jing deficiency in the Liver-Wood so Gerard was right about you being a Wood type person) which is a Liver Yin deficiency in terms of TCM. Also the Urinary Bladder meridian passes through the Sacrum and runs parallel with the Sciatic nerve so you may be as well Kidney Yin deficient.

 

If you are kidney-liver Yin deficient you may try He Show Wu or Six Rehmannia formula, and quit doing Zhan Zhuang if your pain increases with the practice instead of decreasing.

 

I myself am a kidney-liver Yin deficient (not because I exhausted my Jing but because of my natal Bazi chart so for me is a chronic Yin deficiency that advanced as I age) and the only way I can control my back pain is eating highly nutritious Yin food like eggs, meat, omega-3 fats like fish oil and avocados and going to gym and exercising the back and leg muscles with dead lifts, rows, lounges and squats.

 

You may have Yang deficiency but I doubt about that, because if you have Yang deficiency and practice Zhan Zhuang, the practice makes you feel good because it gives you the energy that is missing. But again I doubt about that because you are shaking and this is a sign of Yin deficiency. By the way shaking comes form the brain that does not produce enough dopamine to fill the dopamine receptors, so this is also because of excessive sexual behavior but dopamine production can be increased with the aforementioned methods. And pain comes from lack of serotonin in your system especially in those meridians because serotonin is the neurotransmitter that responds to negative ions.

 

 

Geez Andrei, this is the sort of diagnosis one pays for, wow, thanks. It'll take me some time to digest it's full meaning, but I am highly appreciative of your advice.

[Andrei]

I can pretty much guaranty you that the problem was with the ionizer, .... Once i bought a proper ionizer, the difference was immediately apparent.

Ok you might be right, but what is a proper ionizer in your opinion? My ionizer was using the electrical sparks (the so called UV light method) of splitting the water molecules from the atmosphere into 2 H- and O2+ so you have all the time negative ions of hydrogen AND positive ions of oxigen which I didn't need an ozometer because I could smell the ozone.

 

And that was the reason I switched to zapper because the electrical curent is negative ions only (pure electrons).

But even that was "bad" because no matter what you do at some point you reach a saturation phase when the organism reacts against what you do which means it needs the opposite of what you do. It can take 2 weeks, it can take 7 months or 3 years but after a certain time it will happen because that is the dynamics Yin and Yang once they reach maturity they transform into each other.

In my experience the best feeling and the best times are when you start crossing the line between Yin and Yang either way, or from Yin to Yang or from Yang to Yin. And this principle applies to EVERYTHING, meditation, practice, food, medicine, treatments, training, love, life literally everything.

 

The best principle that illustrates this dynamics is the 5 elements cycle, each element has its own Yin-Yang dynamics and the elements transform into each other. Anything you do emphasize one element in the detriment of another and only one side of that element like only Yin or only Yang. And any practice would work just for a certain amount of time and for certain people that have a certain energetic configuration. Of course you may balance the elements with other things you do in your life but many times you are not even aware of those thing, like your environment, your entourage, your other activities.

 

But anyway I digress, the point is everybody is different and reacts differently but there are these patterns that repeat all the time.

[小梦想]

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Edited August 10, 2018 by 小梦想

[Andrei]

I guess I made a mistake, the water splits into H+ and HO- ions and ozone is O3 and is not a ion because the total charge is 0.

The ionizer I had was Heaven Fresh Ionizer http://www.staples.ca/en/Heaven-Fresh-HF-210UV-Air-Ionizer-Black/product_1924880_2-CA_1_20001

 

Do you have a link to your ionizer characteristics?

[小梦想]

.

 

Edited August 10, 2018 by 小梦想

[SecretGrotto]

Not a problem at all.

 

Wood Rat.

 

One of the younger students of my Bagua teacher is also a Wood Rat. I remember him when he first attended Bagua around 2010...pretty messed up young man. 2 years later and he looked like a new human being. The Shen pouring out of his eyes like laser beams.

 

Yes the Asian squat and staying low in a resting position is a healing wonder and also brings us close to Earth, close to the Yin and the Jing...and how Humanity has offended them so badly for the last 200 years with the start of the Industrial Revolution and the birth of the mechanical and sophisticated 'thinking' man. It has also deviated from the Laws of Heaven. Humanity is lost right now...not good.

 

Also check for Middle and Lower Jiao blockages/accumulation of toxins due to liver fire, excessive thinking, lust, criticism and having a fixed mindset, eating too fast instead of mindfully, and incorrect food according to your body type.

 

 

I had a very supportive grandmother, and I always felt that without her I would also have ended up much worse than I have, I am very grateful for that.

 

I have been doing the asian squat daily and over the weekends I get to see some sun so I squat with the sun on my back for some time and that seems to help a lot. Also with my recent depression. I am starting to dread the night and I cannot wait to fall asleep, mostly because of my recent lung injury.

 

I breathed in hot steam over two days in May and it scorched my lungs, even though nothing happened to my nostrils or nasal passages. I could almost not breathe for a good 50 days afterward. It seemed to get better after 2 months but now it is flaring up again. It is like I have an impending cough, my throat and lungs feel constricted.

 

I have had to make peace over the last year that I would not be able to have sex or a romantic relationship until I have a real healing breakthrough. Even now, after more than a 100 days of no sexual indulgence whatsoever, the slightest sexual thought brings pain to my lower back. I am actually still a virgin at 31 and never had any real romantic relationship due to my introverted nature and focus on academics in my youth.

 

How can I have a romantic relationship if I cannot have any sexual thoughts without pain? I will need to seriously work through my healing, probably over many years before I can become normal again.

 

So I've had to make peace with that, which may seem difficult, but that's ok. What I do find hard however is not having my full lung function anymore, and having this constant constriction of my airways. I don't know what's going on in my lungs and if full recovery is even possible. I like to believe that it is, and that I have to keep positive.

 

It is hard to live with this injury because it is felt at every breath, and this has caused some depression. During the worst of it I had suicidal thoughts and every way I sought to get real healing became unavailable to me. I told my father about the affliction, but not about the desperation as he was going through hardships with his health as well and my mother is also bipolar and suicidal at times so I did not want to concern him.

 

 

Just an update on my zhan zhuang practice also. The pain centered at the hip joints actually disappeared, it is almost like it moved downward. Now the only discomfort is in the quads and glutes in a lower stance. There is less shaking overall and I can feel when the muscular quad tension invokes qi flow around the LDT and this morning it felt like it was moving over my chest as well.

 

I can sense the connection between shaking and lack of dopamine response as mentioned before. It is like the endocrine systems are slowly balancing and more dopamine is released instead of the body shaking. I think it might be possible at the end to have a full body bliss in ZZ if everything is balanced.