Guidance for a Novice with specific issues

[NoviceMonk]

Hello,

 

Let me thank you in advance to reading this and any time you spend contemplating an answer.  I really value your input.

 

I'm a 34 year old fit healthy man for most accounts.  However I have had feelings of depression, low motivation, fatigue, brain fog, emptiness etc with me for most of my life.  I have slowly worked on my self and consider myself very mindful, I have good self esteem, self image etc.

 

I have dabbled with meditation on and off, as well as yoga and NLP.  I am quite proficient at meditation and can clear my mind completely for periods of time.  I have more recently dabbled with Qi Gong, and have only just started doing basic practise of moves like lifting the sky and carryin the moon.

 

I can quite clearly feel the flow of energy moving through my body when I do these exercises.  My practise has quickly moved to a sort of free flow of movements that resemble tai chi, but are compltely ad hoc to whatever makes me feel the energy the most.

 

I do not know if its low qi, jing or whatever else, but I feel very empty and pathetic most of the time.   These feelings worsen with orgasm, which I sort of feel obliged to do with my girlfirned who I love around twice a week.  The feelings of weakness and low mood are worst days 2-4 post orgasm, until around day 6 I get a obvious awakening in my attitude.

 

So I am looking for advice and guidance, is there anything specific I can do to help my issue with orgasm?  I already plan to reduce orgasm frequency using karezza style sex to keeps intimacy with my girlfriend.

 

Is my self taught free flow movements a good idea when I am working with my energy?  It helps me feel the energy alot more than when practising the fixed movements of lifting the sky etc.  I sort of assumed the goal was to feel and circulate the energy the best you can.  Or is there somethign more to the traditional movements that I am missing?

 

Any other tips that you can give a novice to see results quicker would be greatly appreiciated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[cheya]

Hey NM,

Check your messages. Might be interesting. Or not.   

 

[thelerner]

I'm thinking meditation, energy arts aren't the whole ball of wax.   They're good stuff, but if you feel empty, which is common, then they alone, may not be the cure.  Not that you should stop doing them.  More.. juice may not solve your problem.

 

I've certainly felt similar to you many times in my life.  Feelings of melancholy.  Beyond survival and 'practice' we need meaning.  We need to feel accomplished, that we're building something.  Something important to us, personally.  We need to find It, and It is different from person to person.  

 

Its worth spending time to contemplate the question of what It is.    And then going after it, with a passion.

Edited September 1, 2016 by thelerner

[RiverSnake]

Low Jing definitely. Karezza is excellent and keep practicing the Qigong motions as there taught. Systems of qigong are put together in specific ways to trigger certain types of flows of energy in the body which are beneficial to cultivation. Free flowing is fine, but do it outside of your normal Qigong practice. 

[laughingblade]

 I am quite proficient at meditation and can clear my mind completely for periods of time.

 

It's easy to get into states of relative torpor with 'clearing the mind'. These can be quite pleasant, but not really moving things along. Even with simply sitting after a while there's always something else going on to pay attention to, investigate, let go to go deeper.

 

I wonder if some more active approaches might energise and/or move you on? Shamatha / Vipassana from the Buddhist tradition where the idea is strong concentration and insight into the nature of things. Nei Gong leading to Nei Dan in the Taoist tradition where the emphasis is on energetic cultivation.

 

 

Regarding QiGong practice I'm in favour of doing a standardised form frequently. Something like 8 Pieces of Brocade perhaps. Over time that will work your physical structure consistently as a support for further development. When we're starting out it can be tempting to 'let it happen', but usually there's quite a bit of purification and healing to be done before energy flow is possible along all channels. Going free-form early might result in energy moving where it moves easily rather than where it 'should' move for a balanced development. I've met teachers who have free-form alongside prescribed forms, and those who give an initiation to "light the fire" so that free-form has a particular 'flavour'. But for most of us starting out without such a teacher it's valuable to keep to the well-trodden paths.

[NoviceMonk]

I'm thinking meditation, energy arts aren't the whole ball of wax.   They're good stuff, but if you feel empty, which is common, then they alone, may not be the cure.  Not that you should stop doing them.  More.. juice may not solve your problem.

 

I've certainly felt similar to you many times in my life.  Feelings of melancholy.  Beyond survival and 'practice' we need meaning.  We need to feel accomplished, that we're building something.  Something important to us, personally.  We need to find It, and It is different from person to person.  

 

Its worth spending time to contemplate the question of what It is.    And then going after it, with a passio

 

 

Thankyou, I have had quite a journey trying to find happiness.  Including giving up my career, trying lots of things, voluntry work etc etc.  I am still stuck with the same feelings inside myself.  I will of course keep on searching, but I feel I have to explore all avenues.

[dwai]

Hello,

 

Let me thank you in advance to reading this and any time you spend contemplating an answer.  I really value your input.

 

I'm a 34 year old fit healthy man for most accounts.  However I have had feelings of depression, low motivation, fatigue, brain fog, emptiness etc with me for most of my life.  I have slowly worked on my self and consider myself very mindful, I have good self esteem, self image etc.

 

I have dabbled with meditation on and off, as well as yoga and NLP.  I am quite proficient at meditation and can clear my mind completely for periods of time.  I have more recently dabbled with Qi Gong, and have only just started doing basic practise of moves like lifting the sky and carryin the moon.

 

I can quite clearly feel the flow of energy moving through my body when I do these exercises.  My practise has quickly moved to a sort of free flow of movements that resemble tai chi, but are compltely ad hoc to whatever makes me feel the energy the most.

 

I do not know if its low qi, jing or whatever else, but I feel very empty and pathetic most of the time.   These feelings worsen with orgasm, which I sort of feel obliged to do with my girlfirned who I love around twice a week.  The feelings of weakness and low mood are worst days 2-4 post orgasm, until around day 6 I get a obvious awakening in my attitude.

 

So I am looking for advice and guidance, is there anything specific I can do to help my issue with orgasm?  I already plan to reduce orgasm frequency using karezza style sex to keeps intimacy with my girlfriend.

 

Is my self taught free flow movements a good idea when I am working with my energy?  It helps me feel the energy alot more than when practising the fixed movements of lifting the sky etc.  I sort of assumed the goal was to feel and circulate the energy the best you can.  Or is there somethign more to the traditional movements that I am missing?

 

Any other tips that you can give a novice to see results quicker would be greatly appreiciated.

 

How's your digestion? 

[NoviceMonk]

How's your digestion? 

 

 

Perfect I think...  No gi issues.  I eat like a horse and never have any issues.  I Eat mostly because I feel like I should, I dont crave food or get hungry.  I just get weaker and dizzy if I dont eat.  I am quite slender and muscular, despite not doing any strenuous exercise other than jogging.

 

However when I am feeling at my weakest eating seems to make me more tired and foggy for a few hours.

[dwai]

Perfect I think...  No gi issues.  I eat like a horse and never have any issues.  I Eat mostly because I feel like I should, I dont crave food or get hungry.  I just get weaker and dizzy if I dont eat.  I am quite slender and muscular, despite not doing any strenuous exercise other than jogging.

 

However when I am feeling at my weakest eating seems to make me more tired and foggy for a few hours.

 

Have you checked to see if you have some sort of sugar absorption related issues? Along with your fatigue and depression, do you get aches in your bones/muscles from time to time? That can be indicative of low Vitamin D levels.

 

I'd recommend that you get physiological issues out of the way. Depression can happen during meditation if we are not clear about what our objective is...also when we come face to face with the not so pleasant contents of our mind during meditation.

 

Give yourself sufficient rest to restore your energies after having intercourse. Learning and practicing standing meditation will increase your energy levels...I'd recommend starting with 5 minutes a day in the tree hugging stance and then increasing every week or every other week by 5 minutes. 

[Miffymog]

I've recently brought myself a very small second hand steam engine off ebay. It has a little boiler where the water goes and you put a small fire lighter under it. For ten minutes, as long as the right parts are oiled properly, the steam powers a mini wheel which spins frantically around driving absolutely nothing but itself.

 

I only allow myself once session a night, but watching this pointless device do its thing always puts a smile on my face. It even has a whistle which is surprisingly loud, but I don't like to use it too much as the wheel slows down a bit when I do.

 

My life is a little bit better thanks to my steam engine!

[NoviceMonk]

So I am Day 5 of retaining my semen, Day 5 of practising qi gong routinely.  The rollercoaster has been a predictable one for me.  I had sex and felt ok for a day or two, then everything slipped down into nothing.  No motivation, apathy, fatigue, didnt want to wake up in the morning.  I could sleep all day.  Today I feel a little bit better.

 

Usually in the following days I feel great for a few days, high almost, emasculated.  I feel a pressue or energy from my crotch, its like all my emotions derive from that energy.  This feeling comes and goes for a few weeks before levelling out, highs and lows.  I feel better so am naturally more affectionate with my partner, and eventually I am weak and give in and have sex once or twice and the whole miserable pattern repeats it self.

 

Would anyone like to throw some light or even a guess on how this is working in terms of jing and qi?  If I am stopping the wastage of Jing then why isn't the improvement in my well being more linear?  Its a very curious thing. 

 

Right now feeling pretty crappy about life I couldnt care if I have another orgasm again.  However when the magic returns to me, my whole pespective changes and I give in and Im back in the pits.

 

Some guys can release daily, I used to release up to 4 times a day through masturbation.  Is how I feel a result of sexually exhausting myself?  Do I loose more jing than others when I release?  Does my jing replenish more slowly?

[dwai]

So I am Day 5 of retaining my semen, Day 5 of practising qi gong routinely.  The rollercoaster has been a predictable one for me.  I had sex and felt ok for a day or two, then everything slipped down into nothing.  No motivation, apathy, fatigue, didnt want to wake up in the morning.  I could sleep all day.  Today I feel a little bit better.

 

Usually in the following days I feel great for a few days, high almost, emasculated.  I feel a pressue or energy from my crotch, its like all my emotions derive from that energy.  This feeling comes and goes for a few weeks before levelling out, highs and lows.  I feel better so am naturally more affectionate with my partner, and eventually I am weak and give in and have sex once or twice and the whole miserable pattern repeats it self.

 

Would anyone like to throw some light or even a guess on how this is working in terms of jing and qi?  If I am stopping the wastage of Jing then why isn't the improvement in my well being more linear?  Its a very curious thing. 

 

Right now feeling pretty crappy about life I couldnt care if I have another orgasm again.  However when the magic returns to me, my whole pespective changes and I give in and Im back in the pits.

 

Some guys can release daily, I used to release up to 4 times a day through masturbation.  Is how I feel a result of sexually exhausting myself?  Do I loose more jing than others when I release?  Does my jing replenish more slowly?

 

You would be better off finding a Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor and getting treated imho.

[Aeran]

First of all, I'll start by seconding Dwai's recommendations - and I would add to them, if you aren't already, that you should seek out help from a mental health professional of some kind. It's not a quick fix, and finding the right therapist can take a few false starts, but therapy can help enormously in coming to an understanding of your mind and why you feel the way you do. 

 

Secondly, on the matter of Jing, I'm no expert, but I'd recommend being careful with the retention stuff. Moderation is one thing (eg. not masturbating 4 times daily), but I've never heard anything to suggest complete retention, outside of the context of specific phases of intense internal practice taking place under the guidance of a master, is a good idea.

 

In fact I would guess that it generally leads to stagnation and assorted sexual and other problems (look at the Catholic priests). Although it might not be a bad idea to cut back for a time to let your system reset and see where you fall when it comes to your body's natural levels of desire.

 

As someone who was overindulging enormously (like most men), then went to celibacy for a while, and then settled down somewhere in the middle, my experience is that either extreme comes with it's own set of problems.

 

I'd highly recommend watching this video, it's one of the best discussions on the whole "jing" issue I've heard: 

 

 

Finally, I'd recommend looking into mindfulness practices. My experience has been that energy practices alone can only do so much when it comes to issues like depression, and in fact are just as likely to worsen the issue as help with it, especially without the guidance from a master or eastern healing practitioner. They tend to bring repressed emotions to the forefront, which can result in quite a violent and traumatic eruption which can lead to further issues if you don't have a framework for processing those emotions. It's not enough to get the energy flowing and bring things to the surface, you have to know what to do with them when they get there - at least in my experience.

 

(as far as mindfulness goes, I'd recommend checking out the works of Joseph Goldstein and Tara Brach - the latter in particular, despite feeling a bit new agey at first, has been of immense assistance to me in working through emotional releases induced by energetic practices).

Edited September 2, 2016 by Aeran

[NoviceMonk]

Thanks for all your kind input.  To clarify this is a state I have been in most of my life.  It isnt just a period of depression.  I have flickers of happiness, some periods of average and plenty of low.

 

I have seeked help in all forms, and exhausted credible and many un credibel western medicine and therapies on offer.  I am not willing to be on an anti depressant, so searching for help here is yet another avenue Im exploring.  But I certaintly appreiciate the sentiment behind your advice.

 

I am actually quite a positive person with good self esteem, morals etc.  I live healthy, suffer little to no stress day to day.  I have been quite successful in my IT career, so I dont have the pressures of working etc to hamper any improvement in my well being which is my only focus in life.

 

I watched that video Aeran thanks, it made things much clearer.  It highlighted that perhaps my kidneys are weak.  As I already lead a pretty stress free lifestyle, and eat well I am at a loss how to improve this basis for Jing.  I guess I will continue my research from there.

 

I was interested in how the guy saying many begginers to qi gong feel exhausted with basic movements, which is where I feel I am this week.  How do I gain this jing kidney energy?  I am already adamant that I am not going to waste it through having a break from sex...

[Jeff]

Thanks for all your kind input.  To clarify this is a state I have been in most of my life.  It isnt just a period of depression.  I have flickers of happiness, some periods of average and plenty of low.

 

I have seeked help in all forms, and exhausted credible and many un credibel western medicine and therapies on offer.  I am not willing to be on an anti depressant, so searching for help here is yet another avenue Im exploring.  But I certaintly appreiciate the sentiment behind your advice.

 

I am actually quite a positive person with good self esteem, morals etc.  I live healthy, suffer little to no stress day to day.  I have been quite successful in my IT career, so I dont have the pressures of working etc to hamper any improvement in my well being which is my only focus in life.

 

I watched that video Aeran thanks, it made things much clearer.  It highlighted that perhaps my kidneys are weak.  As I already lead a pretty stress free lifestyle, and eat well I am at a loss how to improve this basis for Jing.  I guess I will continue my research from there.

 

I was interested in how the guy saying many begginers to qi gong feel exhausted with basic movements, which is where I feel I am this week.  How do I gain this jing kidney energy?  I am already adamant that I am not going to waste it through having a break from sex...

Hi NoviceMonk,

 

Is it ok if I remotely "energetically" scan you? See if I can make any specific suggestions/help?

 

Best,

Jeff

[NoviceMonk]

Hi NoviceMonk,

 

Is it ok if I remotely "energetically" scan you? See if I can make any specific suggestions/help?

 

Best,

Jeff

Please do, I welcome any suggestions you might have for me.

[NoviceMonk]

Part of that video, and its talk of the kidneys in relation to Jing, really rang home with me.  It said about looking after your general well being.  It mentioned in passing over sleeping and how it can be a drain on Jing.  Part of being fatigued for me is that I can prety much sleep at will, and I regulary get 10-11 hours sleep and then a nap as well.  Western medicine has seemed to link health problems with over sleeping.  I guess cutting down on sleep is a easy thing to try.

[mindtooloud]

Hey NM,

Check your messages. Might be interesting. Or not.

 

I want messages too

[mindtooloud]

Thankyou, I have had quite a journey trying to find happiness. Including giving up my career, trying lots of things, voluntry work etc etc. I am still stuck with the same feelings inside myself. I will of course keep on searching, but I feel I have to explore all avenues.

Try converting to Islam, i've heart stories of people that it has worked for who describe feelings similar to the feelings you're describing.

[Jeff]

Please do, I welcome any suggestions you might have for me.

Thanks. Checking now...

[mindtooloud]

 

 

 

Give yourself sufficient rest to restore your energies after having intercourse. Learning and practicing standing meditation will increase your energy levels...I'd recommend starting with 5 minutes a day in the tree hugging stance and then increasing every week or every other week by 5 minutes.

Is the tree hugging stance same as the first stance in zhang zhuang?

[dwai]

Is the tree hugging stance same as the first stance in zhang zhuang?

Yes

[Prasanna]

Namaste, Novice Monk. I saw your post and see one contradiction from my understanding of life's philosophy. The thing is, one must be sincere to life in whichever way he is trying to live life, so that life lessons can be learnt from experiences which is essential for gaining wisdom of life. Obviously the contradiction is neither are you living a worldly extroverted life, nor are you sincerely leading a spiritual life. This is because of lack of clarity in your objectives of life. If you continue this way of practicing meditation and simultaneously keep enjoying sensual pleasures, there is going to be absolutely no progress, since either of them cancel each others effect when you keep doing both them simultaneously. If you sincerely want to pursue a spiritual life, then you must first start with fixing a higher, selfless and absolute goal called Self Realization beyond your selfish sensual, materialistic and egoistic extroverted pursuits. These extroverted pursuits are what we call as worldly life and worldly pursuits. These keep you pitched to worldly realms where you don't see anything higher or purposeful beyond selfish sense gratification and ego boosting material success, as if they are an end in themselves. The real awakening can be initiated only when you start recognizing that these are futile efforts that do not bring the real pleasures or enjoyments or happiness or true success or genuine freedom that you unconsciously keep seeking through them continuously even after gratification of earlier desires and ambitions. This is because of the fallacy that we pitch our happiness and success onto the external world of objects, beings and experiences. This way no true happiness or peace of mind or success is possible since the moment one desire is gratified , the mind will pitch up the happiness or success on the next higher desire without recognizing the fact that this way nobody has ever achieved happiness or peace of Mind or true success. The nature of the Mind is that it keeps pitching up the desires higher and higher on either more quantity or better quality or a combination of better quality and more quantity. This is how our Mind plays havoc in our lives when we lead an indiscriminate extroverted life of licentious sensual indulgence and greedy materialistic pursuits, without higher ideals. If at all one wants to take to spirituality, this recognition is important, followed by pitching up of a selfless ideal like Self Realization, which is proclaimed by the scriptures as the ultimate purpose of human birth and human existence in this universe. It is not enough if one pitches up a selfless goal, but needs to follow it up with perseverance and consistency of purpose till the ideal is achieved. A higher ideal is an essential necessity to keep you away from bad activities that weaken you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[EmeraldHead]

I'm a 34 year old fit healthy man for most accounts.  However I have had feelings of depression, low motivation, fatigue, brain fog, emptiness etc 

 

Sounds like too much and especially you are quite low on chi. 

 

Besides what everyone else will say I suggest to you start sungazing and do earthing (google/youtube both terms) as much as you can. If you dont have a garden just find a place in a park...thats what I do, dont worry about people

 

Also there is a guy whos into european witchcraft. He taught some stuff on youtube before leaving a few years ago. His name bearheart. People copied his videos. I dont buy into his mindset but the exercise in his last videos that he called "the merger" , an astral exercise. Will help you a lot. Do it once a day...or twice, takes like 5minutes, FAR superior to LBRP or anything like that. Your 'problem' is relatively easy to fix, its up to you however.