22 year old, figuring things out..and hello! :)

[ganjaboy]

Hello all!! As is evident from the above post i am 22 and in the process of putting my life together after basically a past 8 years of relative ignorance. First and foremost, as should be evident from the above title I am a user of that magical herb cannabis, for meditation / relaxation purposes as well as to assist me in treating depression. I do not believe that or any drug is the answer however, more accurately they provide a means to ask the right questions - IMO.

 

Like a lot of young men I struggled with masturbation, lust, and porn usage, in some ways inevitable during the raging hormonal hell of adolescence but it was with time that I gained wisdom enough to realize how these things were damaging me and I am proud to say as of today I am a year clean of both. I've done a lot of reading on the concepts of the three treasures, Jing, Qi and Shen and have come to grasp an intuitive working knowledge of what they mean and how the manifest in your spiritual consciousness.

 

I am however still a virgin and have yet to harm a woman with my lust. A wise man once advised me to make virginity "my spiritual fortress", to lose it with or to my wife. I am not sure what path I will take but am definitely aware that the common trend of promiscuity and self-indulgence is incredibly detrimental. For me it will take a special girl, and definitely not just a lover but also a cultivation partner and companion who understands yin and yang energy dynamic and how to heal with the relationship rather than the opposite.

 

I want to get into yoga or some physical practice because like some young men I have suffered and still do from both anorexic tendencies and body dysmorphia. It's my belief, perhaps far fetched that these physical demons are karma for physical objectification of female goddesses that I did in my own mind. As a raging Taurus my challenge shall be in overcoming the base bestial instincts for higher purpose and enlightenment.

 

Anyways, hello!! Glad to be here

[thelerner]

I think you'll fit in well here.  You may want to add martial art to your todo list.  The physical nature and exertion coupled with honing your awareness might be a perfect match for where you're at now.   Get you into shape and maybe put you in a spot where you'll interact with a girl or two. 

 

Most of my martial career has been in Aikido, but I've found the actual art is less important then the feeling you get from the dojo itself.  Most will allow you to try a free class or two.

[Marblehead]

Hello ganjaboy, and welcome.

 

Your membership is approved and we're happy you found your way to us. We look forward to accompanying you on some of the way that you still have to go.

 

Please take the time to read the two posts pinned at the top of this Welcome page and take a look at the forum terms and rules. This covers all you need to know when getting started.

 

For the first week you will be restricted to ten posts per day but after that you can post as much as you like. Also, until you’ve posted fifteen times in the forums, you’ll be a “Junior Bum” with somewhat restricted access and will be allowed only two private messages per day.

 

Good luck in your pursuits and best wishes to you,

 

Marblehead and the TDB team

 

 

Hi ganjaboy,

 

Yes, there are a lot of discussions regarding the concepts in your "Introduction" post.  Personally, I will take an opposing view if I ever get involved in any of the discussions I might get involved in.  (I hold that we should not alter our true nature unless it rally is harmful to our self or others.

 

You are welcome to jump right in ongoing discussions, revive an older thread, start a new thread of your own, or start a discussion in the "Newcomer Corner" sub-forms to expand on your introduction or ask general questions to help you get started.

 

May you enjoy your time here.

 

Marblehead

[Kar3n]

Hello & welcome to the bums

[RiverSnake]

Self-Healing is a long and intense but rewarding process. Best of luck on your path. 

[ganjaboy]

Thank you to all. Someone wise once told me that everyone has to go over "fool's hill" and I have come to believe this. I believe in the effects of karmic resonance and I noticed that while struggling with porn I drew negative and wicked people to me, was infinitely petty and felt plagued by demons. I had let my body and health go as well and respected neither from a spiritual standpoint. When I woke up and quit finally, I felt I had no choice but to atone and stopped buying things, fasted until basically emaciated (I believe fasting burns karma) and started prayer and meditation. Now I try to make health and moderation my goal. I struggle still with the physical demons but I believe that is also karma. I also have quit herb until I feel more yang resonance and material stability since cannabis is very yin and can easily cause imbalance.

[ganjaboy]

Another note on physical demons.

 

As a guy who has struggled with looking young and the pain that has caused with regard to lack of sexual attention from women, my plan is to change the outside of my body to resemble a hardened man over time yet use Secret Smile meditation technique to conceal my relative innocence and virginity, a secret inside.

 

In this way, I can lay down at night and rest my head in peace, even though I may not recognize who I am on the outside the boy is still in there.

 

I will be celibate for possibly 10 years but will at the end of it have a more slight physique once again and more mild lifestyle practice, around the same time I desire relationship with a woman. It's about the journey and the plan is to grow. There is much more in this boy

[RiverSnake]

The path can be miraculous and surprising, you have many ideas of where you want to go....but where you end up may be completely different and even more wonderful than you could have imagined. Keep an open mind and a gentle will as you cruise along the path. Most importantly practice daily. Cheers.

Edited October 2, 2016 by OldWolf

[rene]

Welcome ganjaboy (-:

 

OldWolf is wise; might want to leave enough room for new possibilities!

 

Warm regards

[ganjaboy]

One thing I noticed after fasting (I stopped at 95 lbs at 5'6", don't worry I put on weight healthily again ) was that your mind becomes a lot purer as well as your intentions. When you're not eating a lot obviously your libido disappears or at least reduces. You also get calmer. There's a saying that in order to get to heaven one has to be like a child, I think I am starting to understand what that means.

 

For me, the goal is to gain a new respect for both women and sexuality, valuing it more than I did. I'm just glad that I haven't yet given that sacred part of me to another person yet, it would have been the nail in the coffin.

[blackstar212]

Welcome aboard I hope you enjoy your stay.