Swede's ramblings and questions - Welcome in!

[Swede]

Thanks for all those replies, all very interesting.

 

 

Thing is, they were doing it to everyone else too.  And yes, that pisses me off too.  I used to, when driving regularly on a daily basis, when that happened to me, straddle he emergency lane and the lane I was in so that no one else could do the same thing.

 

It's not just about our ego.  It's about doing the right thing.  They were doing the wrong thing.  They need be taught a lesson.

  

 

Haha yes, I often see this, someone driving half across the breakdown lane in heavy traffic stopping impatient people from overtaking on the inside.

 

There is something interesting about traffic. It seems to bring out a nasty side in people who usually are considered 'normal' or otherwise would never fight/abuse others. As the dashcam is becoming more and more common now, they often show footage on the news of road rage incidents. People have full on punch ups or yell and abuse others after being cut off by another motorist. And tempers fly sky high. But when you relax and remove yourself from the situation you realize you only lost one car length. That's it. It has absolutely no impact on your travel time at all.

 

everything just is and it is us that give meaning to events and situations

 

anger can be a great tool if somebody is out to hurt you physically or emotionally, but not to hurt them, just to establish and strengthen your boundaries if it is needed.

 

about being a pushover i think that we owe yourself the courtesy to react when something does not seem to be right. then later on we can think thru that situation and see if we acted accordingly to our values.

 

Yes I agree everything just is. It is our perception that gives us the label and meaning of good and bad in situations, to a point.

 

If you think of an event or an 'is' and how different people think of that event, some might see it as good, others as bad. (As evident in all the Trump/Clinton threads here... ;-) Also if you look at good and bad (or cold/hot or any opposite) as essentially the same thing, only as a sliding scale between two opposites of the same thing. But with heavier events like rape or murder, I don't quite see how that's not purely 'bad'. Although, some life changing event initially perceived as 'bad' sometimes turn into 'good' in the long term.

 

  

This is part of the problem with living in a heavy laden, rule-based society... our very being takes on 'injustice' in a way that is not really there.

  

 

I know all about our rule-based society. This is something I have been considering a lot lately, in relation to how ones profession effects ones outlook on life and more recently, how it effects ones spiritual growth. Might be subject to another rambling post in the future... Haha

 

It's not personal, yet we often see it that way.

True. And when sitting there I know it's not personal. I am just 'traffic' to others, just like I think I'm stuck in 'traffic'. Truth to be told, I'm no angel in traffic either. But that s where the old ego comes creeping in. And all of a sudden, it's personal.

[joeblast]

 

 

 

 

Or do less, less, less... and nothing is not done

 

 

Haha I'm not to sure my wife would like me doing less...

 

But jokes aside, you make a good point. Trying too hard will get me nowhere but confused.

 

But what 'doing' should be done less?

 

If I may offer my limited understanding of wu wei, it's not 'not doing' but 'doing' out of spontaneity or a doing where there is no striving. Where action or 'doing' flows automatically. Am I on the right track?

 

Almost like careless/carefree or mindless action where the outcome does not matter to me. But how do I reach this state? Especially in spiritual cultivation where my mind is very much involved in analyzing, feeling and searching. My attempts of learning about wu wei and Tao is just more conscious striving, which is in direct opposition to wu wei. Oh, the oxymoron lol.

 

Anyway, it's late and I need to give my poor brain a rest. Thanks again

 

I think I kinda just typed that one, lol

 

http://www.thedaobums.com/topic/42437-getting-a-feel-for-awareness-to-achieve-it-whats-the-difference-between-the-state-of-awareness-and-quiet-mind/#entry720860

[thelerner]

 I was stuck at a set of lights for a while when I noticed several cars were creeping down the turning lane next to me only to push in down at the intersection. No wonder I was sitting there for longer than usual!   I could feel the anger creeping up inside me.. I could feel the anger pushing me beyond what I could reason away.

But it made me think. How does a person go through life if one has successfully realized ego, and managed to live ego-free(ish)? One would be a pushover..

That's a modern problem that is quite vexing.  Still being egoless doesn't mean we can't use 'Skillful Means'.  In this case shifting the car over a bit, sending a message that cars shouldn't move ahead of you.  You don't have to do a full block but by shifting over a bit slightly into there lanes, you're sending out a message. 

 

That or just realize its part of the game.  I used to talk to professional truck drivers who encounter that exact situation and worse every day.  Most of them said they relied on the philosophy, It is what it is.  Hoping, wishing or getting mad accomplishes exactly nothing.  So turn up the radio and realize you'll get there when you get there.  Or using skillful means have a CD or MP3 in the car that is so interesting that you don't mind the little delays.

[Swede]

 

That or just realize its part of the game.  I used to talk to professional truck drivers who encounter that exact situation and worse every day.  Most of them said they relied on the philosophy, It is what it is.  Hoping, wishing or getting mad accomplishes exactly nothing.  So turn up the radio and realize you'll get there when you get there.  Or using skillful means have a CD or MP3 in the car that is so interesting that you don't mind the little delays.

 

Yeah this is what I usually do. Suburban traffic, in all its glory, is a part of my world and game. Just gotta accept it. It's funny though you mention 'hoping,wishing' cause that's exactly what I find myself doing sometimes haha. 'If he'd move to the left lane I'll get a clear run on the outside and then...'. But it never ends well...

 

In saying all this, I just watched a documentary on children in Syria and all of a sudden my traffic woes don't feel so important anymore. But whilst typing this I'm looking at my 18 month old twin girls dancing wildly to YouTube music clips. So time to drop the iPad, taobums and all, and get involved in my reality.

 

Cheers

[awaken]

I finally decided on learning samatha meditation as I figured whatever else I want to try later on will be greatly assisted by a focused mind. Now I have a question I was hoping you guys could help me with.

I have not had one session in which I haven't nodded off at least a few times. Although I 'wake' up immediately and restart counting the breaths again, I feel it takes away from the meditation. I have tried sitting with my eyes open but it feels unnatural and I continuously blink my eyes hard as if they are getting dry. I work shift work so I sit at different times a day. On a day shift I roll out of bed and I sit at 4.30am. This is the worst time. On days off or night shifts I sit around midday when the little ones go down for a sleep straight after a training sesh in the garage gym. Even then I struggle. Does anyone have any technique to stay concentrated and awake?

On a side note, I started having this weird sensation a few times. Out of nowhere when I'm peacefully counting my breaths, I get a strong feeling or emotion I would describe as excitement. It feels like the whole body is tingling. I'm careful with any psychosomatic experiences and I just observe the feeling and let is slowly dissipate and go away. I don't want to get to the point where I expect this feeling and therefor create it every time I sit.

But a few times I have stayed with it and it grows much stronger. I feel as if my arms and legs are tingling and this pressure or a force goes up into my head where it builds up. I start to cold-sweat and it feels like I have high blood pressure. It is not uncomfortable or anything, just feels odd. If I hold my breath after the out breath the feeling of pressure almost makes my head grow.

This is feeling of chi.

 

You should do longer.

 

It will change.

[awaken]

I was thinking about ego today whilst driving home from work. It's funny how the usual drive home can be a lesson in life.

My drive that takes 30 minutes in the morning takes about 50 minutes in the afternoon due to heavy suburban traffic. I was stuck at a set of lights for a while when I noticed several cars were creeping down the turning lane next to me only to push in down at the intersection. No wonder I was sitting there for longer than usual!

I could feel the anger creeping up inside me. Mindful as I was I felt the raised pulse, the blood pressure in my head, I noticed my jaw clenching, the 'heat' inside as pure anger welled up inside. I realized it was my ego getting hurt. "How dare they do this to me!?" I could feel the anger pushing me beyond what I could reason away. The anger felt good... liberating. The anger started to take over, I was angry. No, I was ANGER! No way I would let anyone push in front of me! If they tried I would rip their head off and... No, not really. All this road rage violence inside me was all in my head (and slightly exaggerated for illustrative purposes ;-)

But it made me think. How does a person go through life if one has successfully realized ego, and managed to live ego-free(ish)? One would be a pushover, forever taken advantage of by other less mindful people? Or maybe the issue of being pushed back in the que of traffic would have been a non-issue in the first place?

Emotion will become a kind of chi and stay in body.

 

Anger will hurt liver, happiness hurt heart, thinking hurt spleen， worrying hurt lung, fear hurt kidney

 

These come from Chinese medicine classic, nei jii.

 

When we practice the right way, we open the entrance 玄關，no thoughts, no feeling there, Ying was dissolved there.

 

Your emotion bad chi all disappear.

[awaken]

You are already on the road.

 

You say it is not easy to let the thoughts disappear.

 

That is because your 玄關the entrance is not open yet.

 

You just need to stand and let body free.

 

Feel your body, feel the chi every day.

 

See how chi change.

 

That is the first ... Method.

 

If you think this is a method.

Edited December 8, 2016 by awaken

[shortstuff]

So I guess my question is, what type of seated meditation do you guys do? I realize it is a highly personal question depending on the reason one meditates.

 

Cheers again.

 

For me, it is normally breathing, but I don't concentrate on my nostrils, I just concentrate on tightening my abs to breathe out, and let the breathe in part go naturally. I actually found when I started this that when I walk I naturally breathe the wrong way, it took a month or two to consciously correct my breathing; I would walk around pulling my diaghphram/ stomach in as I breathed in and out as I breathed out, no wonder I couldn't walk far! Once I fixed that, walking got a lot easier.

 

The other thing I do is just imagine that I am in a dark room and I am staring at a dark, round, cushion, in this dark room. I find by doing this I am able to just be...with emptyness. Of course, emptyness is also a thought. This is the problem I get with meditation, they tell you by concentrating on breathing you are concentrating on nothing...but that is untrue.

 

Anyway after some time I realise I am no longer breathing, I never get any bliss nor visuals nor do I feel connected to anyone else but I do feel calm.

 

Sometimes I also practice loving-kindness meditation. I imagine a ball of light above me and I take bits of it and I send it out and into my imagination of people's bodies. Friends, family, strangers, people I hate. (edit, 5 months into to meditation I realised I no longer hated anyone) I did this for 3 months and one day I realised I always missed the first step...you are supposed to take 1/3 of it and give it to yourself. I never did this... which is interesting because I have self confidence/self worth issues.

 

Edited December 10, 2016 by shortstuff

[No One]

I hope your journey is continuing steadfastly friend!

Edited May 11, 2017 by No One