Energy of Intimidation

[smilingone]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. How some people can be perceived as quite intimidating and others not at all. Surely has a lot to do with energy, building up of Chi and Self Confidence but I feel there is more to it.

 

What about a martial artist who is always perfectly calm? Could be a very intimidating person.

 

Silence can intimidate people.

 

What are your thoughts on energy and intimidation?

[RiverSnake]

They way we react to people is a reflection of our own energy and the energy the person is emitting. A severely weak person may be intimidated by everyone and not even want to leave his house.

 

People are powerful tools for cultivation, they will reflect your weaknesses back to you.  

Edited November 24, 2016 by OldWolf

[Teddy]

Do you want to be able to intimidate people?

 

I used to often get told that people felt intimidated around me. I worked hard on being less intimidating.

 

After years of practice, I feel like now I can 'turn it on' or 'off' depending on the situation. I'm not sure exactly what changes...

 

Yes, silence can intimidate people; so can noise. Calmness and mania can also both intimidate people. All these things can also put people at ease. It all depends on the context and situation.

 

However, in my experience, people who are secure, proud and happy about themselves generally don't get intimidated so easily.

[roger]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. How some people can be perceived as quite intimidating and others not at all. Surely has a lot to do with energy, building up of Chi and Self Confidence but I feel there is more to it.

 

What about a martial artist who is always perfectly calm? Could be a very intimidating person.

 

Silence can intimidate people.

 

What are your thoughts on energy and intimidation?

 

There are different kinds of intimidating. For example, some people are very intimidated by those they're very sexually attracted to. I know that's not what you mean, but I'm just saying that there could be many different kinds of reasons to get intimidated. Some are intimidated by those they admire. Or by people whose approval they long for.

 

One kind of intimidation is of the "bully". The jerk. In that case, I feel that it's important to know that such people definitely aren't as "tough" as they might seem. Rather, they're AFRAID.

 

It's often hard to distinguish between strength and weakness. But ACIM says that people generally confuse the two.

 

The obvious example of this is that kindness can pass as weakness, and meanness as strength. ACIM is saying that that's a misunderstanding.

 

There's a book called "Assholes", that defines the term. Basically, it's a person with a double-standard. They demand a respect and acceptance that they don't offer others. Such people are really very afraid and, imo, quite immature.

[Kar3n]

You know, I am 5 foot nothing and barely over 100 pounds and people in my life have told me I am intimidating.

 

That admission was hard for me to even type, because that is not who I am, or the person I want to be seen as.

 

I asked people who became my friends, their replies were almost always the same, "Different".

 

I have been intimidated by my momma and my grandmother, but not many other people.

 

I do not think that if you are cultivated/inv in a spiritual sense or if you carry yourself in a certain, genuine way they are very far apart.

 

I only ever knew Jesus, I met some people, and dove deeper into myself, and feel more humbled snd whole than ever before.

 

Intimidation is in the eye of the beholder. I have felt intimidated too. Embrace it, be it, what you feel, make it positive for you.

 

No matter, gather your love, carry it with you, it has saved my life, at least once.

 

I see you, smilingone.

[words]

I think it's not so much an attribute of a person, but a relation between the intimidating and the intimidated. It goes hand in hand with self-doubt/insecurity. Something in the intimidating person strikes a chord, rubs on the insecurity (be it conscious or unconscious) of the one feeling intimidated. 

 

The first thing that it points out is that there is insecurity, thus a self-confident person will appear, by contrast, as being intimidating. it's in general about contrast. for an introvert, an extrovert will seem intimidating and vice versa. for a geek, body builder might seem intimidating and vice versa, depending on who's 'territory' they meet.

 

Now there are people who are generally intimidating and I think the measure of one's 'intimidating effect' has to do with how real said self-confidence is, if it's rooted in the core or if it's an outer shell. Most people see through it. I mean, everyone knows that bullies are actually afraid, no? It's more a matter of 'i'd rather not have to deal with him', than being really intimidated around them for most people. it's why they go for the weak, who's own great insecurity will make the bully seem really intimidating.

 

There are also those people with...don't know how to put it...invasive eyes, maybe? Those that seem to be looking in your soul when they talk to you. Those are generally intimidating too and the measure of it is how badly one doesn't want to be  seen/read.

 

Stares are generally intimidating, because they feel like piercing through the facade most people wear and that shakes one's sense of safety a bit. Just think of how often people get punched for staring with the reason 'what are you looking at?'

 

There are probably people who are more prone to being intimidated, like for instance those that were raised with shaming or guilting as part of their upbringing.

 

from my own experience, I can turn it on and off, depending on the circumstances. Just like Teddy, I can't tell exactly what changes. it feels like it has to do with 'emitting' some sort of friendly kind of vibe that overrides it. something like the lolly pop before the shot at the drs office. 

[3bob]

the truth is intimidating to a lie,  evil is seen by the truth but the lie is blind to truth...with a definition of truth here as being that which is rooted in Spirit or the Great Tao. 

[Taomeow]

This is such an interesting question.

 

The power of intimidation lies in the intimidating party being perceived (often correctly, sometimes erroneously) as someone who has the potential to hurt you -- physically, emotionally or socially.

 

A cop stripped of his uniform or a judge stripped of his robes are not as intimidating as when they wear them, because the power of intimidation in this case (and most other cases) lies not with the individual but with what he stands for, what he represents -- a force that literally dispenses your life and death, freedom and captivity.  A doctor, an employer -- same thing, the power of intimidation lies in the fact that they are potentially capable of dispensing your well-being or stripping you of same.  In most cases, a normal person who perceives an intimidating force is correct, and someone who does not is not attuned enough, not perceptive enough.  What to do about such force when it is perceived is of course the function of who you are.  But to simply fail to perceive it is a function of what you're missing.  

 

The timid may be overly intimidated by people and forces that are in reality quite harmless, while the cocky may feel falsely secure around people and things quite capable of doing harm -- physical, emotional or social.  The balanced assess the extent of the threat accurately, and choose their attitude accordingly. 

 

The balanced/efficiently-self-cultivated also choose their own "presentation" for others to perceive with full consciousness of what they are doing and what for.  They may choose to appear intimidating or harmless, counter-intimidating (causing the intimidating party to fail to intimidate) or reassuring (for the benefit of the timid, helping them to find confidence).  Ultimately knowing how to play this gamut is a survival skill.   Well worth mastering, and not blowing it either, not deviating from the genuine gamut one has lived and therefore knows how to access without stretching it too unrealistically.  E.g. there's people who present a warm-fuzzy-loving persona in order to manipulate others while in reality being angry and bitter inside -- I find such manipulations utterly ridiculous and pathetic.  By the same token, someone who feels weak and powerless is better off not playing a mighty macho man.   Not around me anyway. 

Edited November 25, 2016 by Taomeow

[dawei]

have told me I am intimidating.

 

*Raises Hand*   

 

 

A cop stripped of his uniform or a judge stripped of his robes are not as intimidating as when they wear them, because the power of intimidation in this case (and most other cases) lies not with the individual but with what he stands for, what he represents -- a force that literally dispenses your life and death, freedom and captivity.  A doctor, an employer -- same thing, the power of intimidation lies in the fact that they are potentially capable of dispensing your well-being or stripping you of same.  In most cases, a normal person who perceives an intimidating force is correct, and someone who does not is not attuned enough, not perceptive enough.  What to do about such force when it is perceived is of course the function of who you are.  But to simply fail to perceive it is a function of what you're missing.  

 

The timid may be overly intimidated by people and forces that are in reality quite harmless, while the cocky may feel falsely secure around people and things quite capable of doing harm -- physical, emotional or social.  The balanced assess the extent of the threat accurately, and choose their attitude accordingly. 

 

I usually like to reduce the quoted part but this was really hard to reduce

 

When in the military, I saw the general's three sides:  With their starred uniform on; At home among family; at a supermarket.  I would be required to salute their presences on base but it is a toss up who bowed to who at home.  At the supermarket, he is an everyday guy.

 

What one "wears" and "where" one is, may affect their projection of self, ego, or whatever.

[Taomeow]

*Raises Hand*   

 

 

 

I usually like to reduce the quoted part but this was really hard to reduce

 

When in the military, I saw the general's three sides:  With their starred uniform on; At home among family; at a supermarket.  I would be required to salute their presences on base but it is a toss up who bowed to who at home.  At the supermarket, he is an everyday guy.

 

What one "wears" and "where" one is, may affect their projection of self, ego, or whatever.

 

Yup.

 

There's a Russian proverb that condenses some of this wisdom:

a badass against sheep -- against badasses, a sheep.

[dwai]

One type of "intimidating" I've experienced is the inadvertent kind. The person is as gentle as they come, yet you push hands with them and their presence drains you of your confidence and they can literally toss you around like a ragdoll!

 

After that kind of intimidating, other kinds seem benign. I remember once running into the CTO of my company (a decade ago), in the elevator. He was with some of his direct reports. Here I was, pretty low in the pecking order, saw him, felt a rush of weakness come over me (totally irrational). But I dug deep in that split second, and looked at him objectively - an old man with same anatomical limitations as any other person on the street. All intimidation just disappeared like a gust of air. I smiled at him, said "hey! How're you doing...some small talk and walked out of the elevator on my floor"...

 

I could tell he was puzzled because I think he cultivated the airs of a menacing figure and thought thatit didn't have any effect on me...

[Geof Nanto]

The need to intimidate arises from a need to protect (often subconscious) vulnerabilities?

[Taomeow]

The need to intimidate arises from a need to protect (often subconscious) vulnerabilities?

 

Definitely.  Many animals and birds puff up and/or arch their backs or go rampant to appear bigger and scarier when they feel threatened.

 

I sometimes hike on the trails where mountain lions are occasionally sighted (the trails cross their territory), and at the entry to the trail they have instructions posted -- what to do if you encounter one.  Among other things, they suggest spreading out a jacket with arms outstretched wide and standing tall and yelling threats, rather than trying to hide or run away -- they warn you that once you're spotted you can't hide from a mountain lion, she is likely to have been stalking you for a while before showing herself to you, and she will most definitely outrun you if she has a mind to catch you.  Your best bet, toward convincing her to retreat and leave you alone, is to appear more aggressive and intimidating.  

 

Of course (this is not posted in the instructions) if you have the guts and absolute confidence in what you're doing, you can try showing her your love and fascination...  I would probably do something like "here kitty kitty, come kitty," but it's purely theoretical, and possibly stupid.  But that's how I think I would go about it. 

Edited November 26, 2016 by Taomeow

[Nungali]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. How some people can be perceived as quite intimidating and others not at all. Surely has a lot to do with energy, building up of Chi and Self Confidence but I feel there is more to it.

 

What about a martial artist who is always perfectly calm? Could be a very intimidating person.

 

Silence can intimidate people.

 

What are your thoughts on energy and intimidation?

 

Speak softly and carry big stick ( figuratively  , and by 'projection' )  

 

Maybe not 'intimidation' as such ... 'persuasion' ?  

 

Japanese friend told me I had   'smiling angriness '     

 

 

Group intimidation :  

 

 

[roger]

The need to intimidate arises from a need to protect (often subconscious) vulnerabilities?

 

And definitely imo involves a desire to be "special".

 

Most people interpret their divine will, the will of their Self, as a desire to be special and superior.

 

That's a major block and must be reinterpreted as a pure desire for love and truth.

[smilingone]

Wow - fantastic replies! So many interesting insights shared. Thank you all!

 

To through something else into the mix: what about shifting our attention to the aura. Somehow I feel a bright aura that really radiates can intimidate people. How can that be? How to get a bright aura?

 

Interesting food for thought?

[words]

Somehow I feel a bright aura that really radiates can intimidate people. How can that be? How to get a bright aura?

 

 

are you trying to become intimidating? 

 

if yes, you know the way: do or do not. there is no try.

[Daeluin]

There is the saying where sincerity is, the way is open.

 

Sincerity comes from the shaping of intent.

 

This is related to the earth phase of the five phases, and is related to one's center. Thus it is easy to see how we may use intention to open the door into returning to the central way, where we may find the dao.

 

But one may be sincere in many ways, may shape one's intent in many ways. In doing so in ways that do not revolve around the center that lies within, this intent may be something external. When intention is placed upon something external, it develops an external momentum as well. The magnitude of the sincerity of this intent determines how much weight that momentum has, determines its intensity. The way is open in the direction that sincerity is placed, and thus it is shaped.

 

When one encounters the boundary of another's intense shaping, one is pushed aside unless one's own intent is able to block it, and then we might have conflict. This is counter to the idea that in energy healing work, the more primordial, refined and universal one's energy is, the more it may be utilized by one's patient as if it were their own.

 

Shaping of intent may be hard and piercing, or soft and unpenetratable - are there limits to that which may be shaped? Extreme momentums depend upon fuel however, and as such are limited. Thus any way might be opened with sincerity, yet only the central way is eternal. External ways may make waves, yet inevitable meet with conflict, while what is firm within and soft without may slip through the external world in peaceful harmony, undeniably present yet mysteriously ungraspable.