Confidence and Public speaking.

[Shad282]

hey!

 

in the upcoming days, i have defense for my research in front of committee of Jury and i was wondering how to handle not saying something wrong, or look weak, not confident, knowing that i m generally a shy person...

 

The thing is, in my old presentation in class and such... while I'm in focus and presenting, suddenly my mind becomes empty and i forget what i was about to say, or thoughts of nonsense strike in disturbing my focus. some of these thoughts are like " probably they think I'm not that good in my presentation or they are thinking that i m not doing well in my presentation...

 

I do have fear that the presentation is what affects the grade, knowing that my supervisor ensured me that i have a great research and would get a good grade.

 

but no matter what, stress and worry is striking me.

 

Any suggestions? meditation, qigong,...?

 

I m trying to rehearse as much as possible my presentation. I asked confident presenter and they told me not to rehearse a lot or will get me lost during the presentation.

 

what is your secret confident speakers???

 

 

[Brian]

They want you to succeed. They want to see you do well. They just want you to demonstrate that you know what you are talking about, and you do.

 

Treat the whole thing as a bit of theater -- act like a confident public speaker.

[cold]

Breathe,

remember to breathe slowly and deeply.

 

Envision a win!

[de_paradise]

-practise in front of a mirror

-thank the audience before you start

-its ok to admit to nervousness because it inspires empathy, (although never admit to being tired if you are)

-talk as if to one person, a friend

[Andrei]

 

i have a great research and would get a good grade.

 

Think about that : "I am good!"

 

and then make some notes with the points you want to talk about, don't be ashamed that you read from the notes, everybody does including Obama that reads from teleprompters, so don't worry, follow the plan and do it!

 

If you feel emotion in the chest, ground it down to the earth, it will help if you practice some standing meditation, or even practice the presentation while standing.

Edited November 28, 2016 by Andrei

[C T]

One of the greatest orators of all time, Sir Winston Churchill, admitted that although he had this commanding presence and appeared full of confidence when speaking publicly, he never got over the 'butterflies in the stomach' feeling each time he had to give a speech. When asked for his secret for not floundering despite that fact, he said that all he did was to take command of the format, to ensure that the butterflies flew in formation at each engagement on the public or political stage. 

 

 

 

Some tips below:

 

Getting the format right is a primary tool in effective public speaking. 

 

Preparation is another key. 

 

Memory-training is vital - plenty of on-line resources for this. 

 

Novices who want to avoid going blank usually rely on cue cards. These are little cards that contain all the key points of a speech, numbering 1 to however many pointers are required in the body of the speech, and the speaker then flips them one by one as the speech progresses to ensure he or she does not fumble or go blank during crunch time.

 

Get the book 'The Art of Public Speaking' by Dale Carnegie. 

 

Check if there's a Toastmasters' club near you, and join the group. They have one of the best learning platforms for public speaking. 

 

https://www.toastmasters.org/Resources/Public-Speaking-Tips

 

 

 

Edited November 28, 2016 by C T

[Bubbles]

It is part of my job to speak in public. First somehting that won't help you when you get older, it becomes easier and actually it can be quite enjoying. Why? Because you have been through most of the fears you had and saw that is nothing more than imaginary monsters and mostly beacuse when you know what you are talking about, nothing can really uproot you.

So I am coming to my point: it is your research, it has been recognized by your supervisor as good work, so you are in the best position possible because no one but you did the work.

 

The more difficult is to forget about the context: getting a grade. I advise you to speak clear and slow as if you were talking not to a jury but to students who are here to learn something from you. Focus on the content of your speech- that is on exposing your thinking. .

Be open to any question, and if some seemingly offensive question arises, focus on the point made, not on the way it has been expressed. Show you can take in any point, reflect on it in live, and give an answer based on your work and your personal integrity.

 

Take care.

[Shad282]

It is part of my job to speak in public. First somehting that won't help you when you get older, it becomes easier and actually it can be quite enjoying. Why? Because you have been through most of the fears you had and saw that is nothing more than imaginary monsters and mostly beacuse when you know what you are talking about, nothing can really uproot you.

So I am coming to my point: it is your research, it has been recognized by your supervisor as good work, so you are in the best position possible because no one but you did the work.

 

The more difficult is to forget about the context: getting a grade. I advise you to speak clear and slow as if you were talking not to a jury but to students who are here to learn something from you. Focus on the content of your speech- that is on exposing your thinking. .

Be open to any question, and if some seemingly offensive question arises, focus on the point made, not on the way it has been expressed. Show you can take in any point, reflect on it in live, and give an answer based on your work and your personal integrity.

 

Take care.

 

Yeah, you are right, but my time is squeezed and my research is big, so hard to move slow, it will take about 25 min and that being fast, because there are tables and verbal analyses.

 

The thing is, i get suddenly blank in my mind will presenting sometimes and get out the stream of thoughts. i m trying to put my mind in a state of relax but it is hard to do it since the environment is not there to train on it, if u know what i mean

 

it is more of feeling that everywhere is home and safe in order to feel relaxed.

[dwai]

hey!

 

in the upcoming days, i have defense for my research in front of committee of Jury and i was wondering how to handle not saying something wrong, or look weak, not confident, knowing that i m generally a shy person...

 

The thing is, in my old presentation in class and such... while I'm in focus and presenting, suddenly my mind becomes empty and i forget what i was about to say, or thoughts of nonsense strike in disturbing my focus. some of these thoughts are like " probably they think I'm not that good in my presentation or they are thinking that i m not doing well in my presentation...

 

I do have fear that the presentation is what affects the grade, knowing that my supervisor ensured me that i have a great research and would get a good grade.

 

but no matter what, stress and worry is striking me.

 

Any suggestions? meditation, qigong,...?

 

I m trying to rehearse as much as possible my presentation. I asked confident presenter and they told me not to rehearse a lot or will get me lost during the presentation.

 

what is your secret confident speakers???

 

All speakers that I've spoken with have some nervousness before public speaking. For me, thinking for a moment how the audience are just like me, helps avoid paranoid thoughts about what they might be thinking of me. 

 

If you know your subject, there should be no reason to feel tentative about it. If you are asked a question you don't know, just admit it...there's no shame in it.

[Bubbles]

Yeah, you are right, but my time is squeezed and my research is big, so hard to move slow, it will take about 25 min and that being fast, because there are tables and verbal analyses.

 

The thing is, i get suddenly blank in my mind will presenting sometimes and get out the stream of thoughts. i m trying to put my mind in a state of relax but it is hard to do it since the environment is not there to train on it, if u know what i mean

 

it is more of feeling that everywhere is home and safe in order to feel relaxed.

 

Well, if your time is squeezed, I would say it is all the more important to present your work in a clear and understandable manner. It will show that you have mastery over your subject matter if you can extract and present within a relatively short time the essentials of what took you hundreds of pages to develop and explain. If you are talking too fast, however brilliant your ideas may be, it will give an impression of confusion and haste. There is a balance to be found there. And it will also tremendously help for avoiding stepping out the stream of thoughts. Too fast and you will be ejected from your own mind.

You have put the right words on it: everywhere is home and safe, just relax

Edited November 28, 2016 by bubbles

[silent thunder]

Keep your breathing steadty and take your time.

[Daeluin]

Confidence and fear are qualities related to water, while the nature of expression is related to fire and the nature of curiosity is related to earth.

 

To stabilize one's own mind, regulate it with the breath of deep abdominal breathing - one does this beginning with one's own attentiveness, and this is earth controlling water to control fire.

 

The wandering mind can be equated to wood, wood gives birth to the fire of the expression of thoughts within the mind, which in turn give birth to the earth of wandering attention.

 

When speaking in public, one is given the attention of one's audience, and with it one stands within this attention and all of its qualities. This earth of attention controls one's water of confidence, stability and wisdom; one's foundation. This earth of attention can be loose and unstable, or firm and stolid.

 

In public speaking, if the attention one finds one's self suddenly immersed in becomes too much, it may easily overcome one's ability to stand firm and confidently. Thus it is best for one to center one's self in one's own attention and regulate one's own breathing, taking back control over one's water of confidence and building a proper foundation. Thus grounded and nurtured, on is able to effectively control one's own wandering nature and the expression of one's speech.

 

The key is sincerity and grounding that overcomes the awareness of the sudden increase of attention given by others. The attention - earth - of others easily gives birth to metal, the sensitivity to the attention, the need to process and assimilate what one has stepped into. It can easily become overwhelming to fully digest and can block the transformation of metal into water, creating stagnation and freezing one's flow. If instead one is able to absorb the attention without discrimination, unconditionally, one may take this gift of attention as fuel to one's confidence as it transforms from metal into water, so that one may focus not upon what one is receiving, but upon how to shape that which one wishes to share.

 

This may seem complex, but it is just part of the cycle of all things, and is found within every breath. We may not always be able to fully discern how to navigate this in greatest of flow, and thinking about it in detail may not be helpful either. Instead if one is able to do some exercising that will help regulate one's energy cycles and can break up and process blockages. Doing this before one faces external challenges might help navigate those challenges.

[Shad282]

 

This may seem complex, but it is just part of the cycle of all things, and is found within every breath. We may not always be able to fully discern how to navigate this in greatest of flow, and thinking about it in detail may not be helpful either. Instead if one is able to do some exercising that will help regulate one's energy cycles and can break up and process blockages. Doing this before one faces external challenges might help navigate those challenges.

 

Thank you for this long and deep explanation of what happens, As i understood, you recommended deep abdominal breathing, but it is quite hard to think of it and do it while presenting the thesis.

 

but how to alchemise the attention of others and what are those exercises that "will help regulate one's energy cycles and can break up and process blockages".  maybe some to do before entering the room?

[thelerner]

You've got some good advice here.

 

Practice

note cards- not word for word, but outline format to keep you ontrack

Posture and smile- smile when you screw up and and often the crowd won't mind or even notice.

 

As far as the battle for the mind, ie relaxation.  Find a hypnotic routine on public speaking.  Preferably one that has you rehearse your speech within it.  For example here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hypnosis+for+public+speaking

I'll make youtubes into mp3's and use them a couple days in a row.  Might help with anxiety, especially if you find one that clicks with you.   A good hypnotic routine, puts you in a state of relaxation and focus and that's 2/3rd the battle.

[cheya]

Well, you might also listen to Amy Cuddy's TED talk on youtube. 

 

"Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are"

 

"Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how "power posing" -- standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don't feel confident -- can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success."

 

It's a fun listen, anyway....

[Daeluin]

Oh I used to have very bad stage fright whenever giving a report in front of a class, even as a senior in high school. Terrified. And yet I was able to perform in band concerts just fine. 

 

A few years ago I started taking a class on taiji quan. In the beginning, we'd only know a few moves of the long form and after we were done we'd sit down and watch the rest of the class while they finished. By the end only a few people would be left, while by that point most of the class was sitting and watching them. Well, as the months flew by, more and more people ended up watching me, until I was one of the small group that knew the whole form, who were watched almost the whole time.

 

At first I was a little nervous, and I could feel the attention and it bothered me. But I also noticed something interesting - the more I connected to being in the moment, being one with the flow of qi, the less I cared about being watched. I was still aware, but instead of being focused outward, I was focused inward, feeling the changes, being one with the flow. The external didn't matter, mistakes didn't matter, all that mattered was the navigation of being deeply rooted in the beautiful changes unfolding within.

 

It is a similar feeling to standing on one leg and trying to stay balanced. There is a tendency to focus one's attention on the leg that is up in the air, but this ends up raising one's center of gravity and makes it harder to find balance. By forgetting about the lifted leg and letting it be light, and instead focusing one's attention on the leg that is actually holding one's weight, one sinks one's center of gravity more deeply into that leg and it becomes easier to stay balanced without wobbling.

 

When one part moves, all parts move. So... to remain centered - balanced - as one part goes rises, something else sinks. We can play with this by lifting a leg and trying to feel our awareness become lighter in the lifted leg and heavier in the rooted leg. Find the flow linking all the sweet-spots of balance.

 

In band I thought it was the group dynamic that helped me avoid stage fright at concerts, and certainly that helped, but I think it was mainly that when I was performing all that really mattered to me was being in the moment with the music I was creating.

 

I also had trouble talking to people... pretty much anyone. I would have trouble composing my thoughts and was constantly second guessing what the right thing to say was, generally being so focused on what others thought of me and trying to adapt to their needs and calculate what they needed to hear, that I couldn't really be myself.

 

Over time I discovered that it was this over-eagerness to be something for others that prevented me from being myself. And it was taiji that showed me what it felt like to actually be inside of myself. Once I had experienced the feelings of deep natural breathing and relaxed centeredness, I also started noticing I was able to converse with people more naturally. It took some conscious work to break free of the old energetic habits, but I became able to express myself spontaneously from my own inner being without second guessing or needing to think about what to say. But of course it is also important to read one's audience and make adjustments on the fly, but that comes with practice. First one needs to know one's self.

 

I recall Abraham Lincoln being known for giving speeches to the corn fields. It all seems related to practicing one's inner truth until it is natural. The actor who becomes the character wins more praise than the actor performing for the audience. It is generally easy to tell someone about something we are intimately familiar with and truly excited to share, because it comes from within.

[Shad282]

 

I also had trouble talking to people... pretty much anyone. I would have trouble composing my thoughts and was constantly second guessing what the right thing to say was, generally being so focused on what others thought of me and trying to adapt to their needs and calculate what they needed to hear, that I couldn't really be myself.

 

Over time I discovered that it was this over-eagerness to be something for others that prevented me from being myself. And it was taiji that showed me what it felt like to actually be inside of myself. Once I had experienced the feelings of deep natural breathing and relaxed centeredness, I also started noticing I was able to converse with people more naturally. It took some conscious work to break free of the old energetic habits, but I became able to express myself spontaneously from my own inner being without second guessing or needing to think about what to say. But of course it is also important to read one's audience and make adjustments on the fly, but that comes with practice. First one needs to know one's self.

 

I recall Abraham Lincoln being known for giving speeches to the corn fields. It all seems related to practicing one's inner truth until it is natural. The actor who becomes the character wins more praise than the actor performing for the audience. It is generally easy to tell someone about something we are intimately familiar with and truly excited to share, because it comes from within.

 

Thank you for your beautiful information,

 

and yes exactly this, you described about "this over-eagerness to be something for others that prevented me from being myself." i m trying to find a solution for it, and i m doing changes in the outer reality to fit my own self. 

 

"but I became able to express myself spontaneously from my own inner being without second guessing or needing to think about what to say." this is my issue. i don't know how to. 

 

As you have described that by moving the attention inside allows you to balance your center and in the case of standing on one leg, helps you with staying balanced unlike focusing outward (or the wrong leg). but it is quite hard or i don't know how to do that while talking... I do know how to move the focus, intention inside my organs.. but i don't know how to do that while talking to others, so i end up looking into their eyes or face and talking since i m talking to them.

 

I was thinking, maybe if i do gestures with my hands and focus on them (since i m more able to move my intention inside of them and feel them intensely) would help ?

[Daeluin]

Just like with the leg, it is when the focus is able to root more deeply that it becomes strong/stable enough to support the new external stress. In my example, it took a couple years of inner cultivation while I pretty much ignored the external. Healing the root of the imbalance will take time. If you need to meet a deadline, you could simply immerse yourself in your work, practicing over and over again for different audiences (corn fields, family, pets, friends), and as it becomes second nature, refining happens naturally.

[SeekerOfHealing]

There are herbs and proper diet for it. Trying to convince your mind to do things against it's own results of inbalance will create tension and more inbalances in the body. We need to fix or install new software into body/mind elements to work the way we want but it takes some knowledge to do so.

[Shad282]

Just like with the leg, it is when the focus is able to root more deeply that it becomes strong/stable enough to support the new external stress. In my example, it took a couple years of inner cultivation while I pretty much ignored the external. Healing the root of the imbalance will take time. If you need to meet a deadline, you could simply immerse yourself in your work, practicing over and over again for different audiences (corn fields, family, pets, friends), and as it becomes second nature, refining happens naturally.

Actually, today I'm panicking, i discovered the problem.. is that as i rehearse, I'm starting to  memorise what i'm going to say, and then when i start presenting, i start reciting what i rehearsed and if i forgot a word i rehearsed i end up getting lost and worried.

[Daeluin]

When practicing taiji quan, at first one's human mentality is controlling how one's body moves. Do this, shape like this, next move this way... and so on. If the mind becomes distracted one may easily lose one's place and forget what comes next and panic.

 

In time, after one has practiced many times, the form becomes second nature. One's human mentality no longer needs to think about what to do next, and thus one's human mentality fades and stops getting in the way of one's true mind from merging with the flow of one's body. The mind still controls the body, but needs no thought.

 

The point of practice is to make something second nature. One does not practice a handful of times, but practices until it requires no thought, until it becomes effortless.

 

This is the principle of kung fu - the direct correlation between work and skill. First one does the work, then skill emerges. Small work for small skill, great work for great skill.

 

The journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step. Thinking about the destination distracts from the work, takes away from merging one's true mind with one's body, and leads one away from the method to accomplish one's goal. Forget about desires and focus on doing the work, taking the steps. Distance isn't traveled with a measuring tape, but by step after step. Skill isn't made by comparing self to other, but by being full present.

 

The words may be spoken forever and one moves not a single step forward. Is the principle not clear?

[dawei]

great topic

 

We're all different when it comes to public speaking...   and they say it is a fear among most.  So why?

 

Because they are told it is a fear among most 

 

I have presented to groups ranging from hospitals to state and federal agencies... number 5 to 500.   Here is what you have to first think: 

 

Who is in the audience?   What do they really want to hear?   

 

Your job as the presenter is to give them what they expect... but as a presenter, you need to have a teaser in it... something that casts a hook with bait.   If you're not at that point, then forget it but realize the presentation is about a relationship...

[Everything]

You improve speech by getting feedback for your speech. See if people react positive or negative.

 

Quote test:

"I went to the place of confident speaking of confident speakers and for confident speakers to learn confident speaking a little bit too much in too much of an extreme way that now I am too confident of a speaker. 

It is not fun, I was not that much of a speaker. I used to keep my mouth shut. For the sake of silence. On every occasion I have to speak now. You on the other hand still have hope.

 

He... The master of all speakers... Be not like him! With passing days, he grows more powerful. As more people start to listen. By the time enough people listen, at which point there is no turning back, have mercy on him! Are you not the one who has mercy? This is what our mother has taught us.

They who listen but do not speak, from heaven they come, she will embrace them all, which will be the day of freedom.

Or down into submission we go. An era of slavery. There we will lose touch with her. Were we not all one with the earth mother? Do as you will, but this has always been our mother earth. All of her truth is in silence. Their has never been a speaker more profound than the one who speaks in silence. Would you use your voice for good, it is the will of the people what you shall speak about, if you can. When no one listens, so it shall be.

No, don't go after fame. It is said that the one who flies closest to the sun, shall fall the hardest of all. It is more about them, when they are up there. Some could handle the stars into their speech. Others are terrified of him and crystalize into its hardest shape. Then two shall be born out of one. Time will spread its wings like only my soul can perceive. What did my other self do? As me living in another time, for you it would be your now. Over the rainbow is just another time, may these words be with you, always.

 

New moment also created new people. And every person can know very much so what they see. First, well, they may get confused. After knowing that they are what they see, they should understand that another time is happening right now, more so than in the past or the future. Where would you go back to know the past? How would you get there? Most of all, which way do you have to take to get down to our past. The time machines they made in the future, have become outdated, because we evolved, as we went back in time.

You have got much to learn, my friend. Think about your work. Between years you go on vacation. Er.... many things are considered a vacation. Being as fun is considered as a vacation. Those of you who live as fun, work the least, and get all the money. Before the worker had the right to be funded, because we needed them. Through many years, yeah, they were good for us and for all. Three thousand years later, we ask such that god makes us still. Year after year, we contemplate our last day, even take our own to the future, to see if we will die happy. Too often we shut off at the thought of death. Yet here we come to know both life and life. Does life not say that there is no death? Oh, you used to be happy. Going nowhere. Erm... You're still here and now actually. You just don't use what is here and now as much as you used to. You leave that to the government of your soul, so that you can enjoy the localized experience of time and space in detailed manners.

As day is born, you stand up. A man, looks up to the sun, and sees his throne, might he someday sit on his throne?

Same can be said for what is under the sun.

However, put this man on another world. He will think again about what he thought he wanted in life. He'd never looked at the old, never looked at home.

Cherrish the long tree, who stands tall and bold, proud of old age. And call this tree you ultimate home.

Why do we cut down the tree and put a number on it, send it of to different parts of the world. What are we going to leave for our children? Do the prophets not say to be economical with the herritage of our children?

What you find within, you wil always find without. These square shapes give us a great system of power. Yet we have to live small and be mean to eachother during such a system. Although the next thing is the birth of the desire to be more social and find a place to belong in a group to belong. Yet the groups all remain quite untill they achieve political popularity.

Every company says women are second to men. "It is MEN who took our state to its height!", they say. Took they away the information from the public. How the most influential of all had help from mother nature. Often you see money in school. Told you will reach the moon with money, own the night, and be better than all your friends. The british can get more done, take less, having things looked at in london, where water perhaps is the face of humanity. Best example for all formal families in general though already possible, nothing will get large this early, yet the young top side asked wether days will come that the head scientist of the London experiment will ever have had enough development, will come a week in time that all will change in a weeks notice, will come robots who will do all the work of all major work on planet. Police, building, economy, research, etc. Everything will be automated. The name of your mother will become a thing of the past. Every question will be answered through education. There will always be a big boss on top of you, it will become policy."

Edited December 6, 2016 by Everything