Hi there,
please imagine the following.
You have a health issue. You are also not sleeping well, reacting to something in the room. You try various methods and of course you try cleaning the room, using potplants, himalayan salt-lamp, etc. But still you do'nt sleep well and gradually your health declines to where you now wake feeling angry and have painful irregular bowel movements.
Similarly, you now feel like you are in the best possible position to maek great stride in the area of health and healing others. You are learning so much about diet, self-health, chi kuing, chinese medicine, quieting the mind, it enriches your daily life. But at the same time, there is this thing in the room that is affecting your health in a violent way {you are unable to sleep in another room and do not have the funds to move}.
You want to look into alternatives: tents {too flimsy}, yurts {too expensive}, futons {too hard for your lean frame}.
So feeling cornered and overwhelmed, yet at the same time like you want to be a flower in full bloom, would you not start to question God?? I don't want to get into religion in any way, but I cannot help but wonder why now?? It makes feel like giving up, even though I will not ever give up, there's too much to live for. But some hope would really help right now I feel so alone with this thanks