recovering from mental illness

[thursday]

Centertime, I created this topic in response to your question in the other thread.

 

The specifics of the meditations I've been trying to help me heal myself from mental illness (which is more like a list of things with schizophrenia as the general conclusion of my doctors at the time) ... may not be as important as the effort I put into making things a routine. So even if all else seemed/seems to go dark, I made/make sure I get my sessions done.

 

To expand on that, just trying to focus/listen on/to the lower dantian probably helped me most to not lose my mind. However I had already a little experience with meditation before my first psychotic episode, which helped to strengthen my belief in that I could in time heal/stabilize without meds.

 

Also the knowing that everything changes all the time, so things would always get better no matter how bad things could go.

 

So for me a good routine helped, a long with knowing things always change. The worst thing that could happen is that I got taken back to the hospital and I already survived that. It wasn't necessarily a horrible experience all of the time there either, I met a lot of good people there when I was mentally coherent enough to participate in therapy. In the end the universe only wants the best for us, I like to believe..

 

Maybe other people here have experience with recovery from things like this?

Edited January 2, 2017 by thursday

[thelerner]

I admire your courage and thanks for writing about the things that helped you. 

[RiverSnake]

Never had to check into a hospital, but there've been times in training that felt like they almost pushed me over the edge. Work on your rooting to help build stability. 

Edited January 2, 2017 by OldWolf

[thursday]

Thank you. I have been doing a few different standing meditations too.. But I should put in more sincerity, that is what takes real courage, not just going through the motions like I have often been.. There is a real difference and like others pointed out, developing wisdom, which sounds like working smarter is what makes things work better.. I just get frustrated with myself and doubts sometimes. It's becoming clear that I've proved the doctors otherwise, however I still have a long way to go in developing wisdom.

[Marblehead]

... however I still have a long way to go in developing wisdom.

 

Yeah, I'm still working on that too.

[Aetherous]

I had success with "calm abiding meditation", with an "external support".

So basically, pick something in the room that you like to look at...gaze at it and let it be your object of meditation. Look at its details any time intrusive thoughts or feelings come, so that you lose focus of those things and pay attention to the object.

It was very effective for me...I wasn't diagnosed with anything but was delusional at one point. This helped me get into the real world and out of my head, which was sufficient to heal the brain.

[AussieTrees]

Hi Thursday,

 

Thankyou for sharing your experiences.

Good to hear you searching for wisdom.

 

Developing insight is the path to wisdom.

Learn how to use medication as a tool.

 

You choose you know better than anyone.

What is helpful,the main problem in developing schizophrenia.

 

To much or overproduction of dopamine.

Some people just produce to much,causing hallucinations,often termed,'the voices',as well as producing an overactive state.

 

Medication helps to create balance by blocking dopamine,thereby reducing symptoms.

The modern medication are very effect,and can be used only if necessary.

 

Best wishes for your journey and recovery.

Learn what suits you,meditation,routine,balanced diet,reduce drug and alcohol use,take medication if it's helpful.

[thursday]

Hi Thursday,

 

Thankyou for sharing your experiences.

Good to hear you searching for wisdom.

 

Developing insight is the path to wisdom.

Learn how to use medication as a tool.

 

You choose you know better than anyone.

What is helpful,the main problem in developing schizophrenia.

 

To much or overproduction of dopamine.

Some people just produce to much,causing hallucinations,often termed,'the voices',as well as producing an overactive state.

 

Medication helps to create balance by blocking dopamine,thereby reducing symptoms.

The modern medication are very effect,and can be used only if necessary.

 

Best wishes for your journey and recovery.

Learn what suits you,meditation,routine,balanced diet,reduce drug and alcohol use,take medication if it's helpful.

Are you politely trying to say I'm a "know it all"? .. I don't like that, but yes it has been one of my problems and it probably still is. Probably very obvious for most people to see about me.. Maybe it is not for me to go without medication for a long time. Since tapering off and then quitting completely 1.5 year ago, a lot of "drive" has disappeared and although no audible voices, things feel much harder in my head.. I'm afraid that I will have to set aside my pride at some point and start taking it again, maybe better sooner than later.. .. Thank you though, it might be a hard wake up call, but one I need to hear again.

Edited January 28, 2017 by thursday

[Bubbles]

Learn what suits you,meditation,routine,balanced diet,reduce drug and alcohol use,take medication if it's helpful.

 

Hi thursday,

 

I am no expert of anything related to what you are going through, but I think the line I quoted above is the only one you should remember.

 

Take care

[thursday]

Thanks bubbles, maybe I don't understand AussieTrees post completely.. I can definitely be a know it all, so I have to watch out for that! .. It's been a couple of months with quite a few changes, moving out my parents house and all.. All in all, despite the often times increased overthinking and worrying, I may not be doing as badly as I sometimes think, still able to keep up my job, having a few good friends and family I look forward seeing, meditation and running/gym.. Could be doing better though, especially my diet, which is really not good.. Intermittent fasting is easy to keep up nowadays, but eating the right foods, for some reason I don't want to even though that feels a lot better. Sitting on the fence is not going to help though..

[Bubbles]

It looks like you are doing quite good! Keep the good of life in your mind/heart!

[silent thunder]

Much Love thursday!

[AussieTrees]

Hi

Are you politely trying to say I'm a "know it all"? .. I don't like that, but yes it has been one of my problems and it probably still is. Probably very obvious for most people to see about me.. Maybe it is not for me to go without medication for a long time. Since tapering off and then quitting completely 1.5 year ago, a lot of "drive" has disappeared and although no audible voices, things feel much harder in my head.. I'm afraid that I will have to set aside my pride at some point and start taking it again, maybe better sooner than later.. .. Thank you though, it might be a hard wake up call, but one I need to hear again.

 

Hi thursday,

"Know it all"

 

Who knows yourself better than yourself?

Learn to know yourself,use the tools available.

 

Blessings

[thursday]

Thanks guys.. .. Guess I'm not doing too badly when my psych gave me another extra 4 months till we have another appointment, while it used to be every 2 months or so!

[roger]

Thursday,

 

I've had problems too, and have also been hospitalized before.

 

The main thing that helped me was when I realized that healing and growth come from one's divine nature, from a deeper, spiritual part of you.

 

To experience that healing and growth, you don't have to DO anything, you don't have to TRY.

 

Basically, everything is already happening perfectly, as it's supposed to. Your problems are part of the perfection, part of the "divine order" of your life.

 

Healing can happen naturally and easily, it's something that takes place when one simply stops trying so hard, stops forcing it, and "gets out of the way."

 

Your divine nature will heal you naturally. You don't have to do it yourself.

 

So then what do you have to DO? You see, it's a simple understanding- that your deeper Self, your divine nature, is ALREADY in control of your life.

 

So just enjoy your life, just be yourself, and know that the healing journey is unfolding perfectly, and just let your deeper Self do its work.

 

This is what helped me.

 

Good luck.

Edited February 2, 2017 by roger

[thursday]

Thank you Roger, that is advice I should take to heart! Sounds like you have made really good changes in your life, that is great.. It still seems like a hard thing for me to just trust, but I think I get what you mean.. Just don't seem to be doing it much yet.. I say do because I see there is a choice to be made, nobody is going to do it for me, I reap what I sow, so I better start understanding that.

[s1va]

Thursday,

 

I've had problems too, and have also been hospitalized before.

 

The main thing that helped me was when I realized that healing and growth come from one's divine nature, from a deeper, spiritual part of you.

 

To experience that healing and growth, you don't have to DO anything, you don't have to TRY.

 

Basically, everything is already happening perfectly, as it's supposed to. Your problems are part of the perfection, part of the "divine order" of your life.

 

Healing can happen naturally and easily, it's something that takes place when one simply stops trying so hard, stops forcing it, and "gets out of the way."

 

Your divine nature will heal you naturally. You don't have to do it yourself.

 

So then what do you have to DO? You see, it's a simple understanding- that your deeper Self, your divine nature, is ALREADY in control of your life.

 

So just enjoy your life, just be yourself, and know that the healing journey is unfolding perfectly, and just let your deeper Self do its work.

 

This is what helped me.

 

Good luck.

 

I was resisting from posting here since I did not have direct experience in this particular discussion.  My experience even may be from movies and books.

 

Your post is excellent, Thanks.

 

But, I beg to differ on the point or the line I underlined on your post.  I think part of healing is making effort on one's part.  This effort is very important and this is part of the healing process.  We can't leave everything to fate or sit without effort on our part.  That will be dangerous.  So, I saw the need to chime in.

 

 

 

Keep Going!

Do or Do not, There is no try, said Yoda.

 

But is that always possible to be either in the black or white? There are many areas that lie in the intersecting area and leaving you in a constant doubt like the cat on the wall. You never know till you reach the end, that you have reached it successfully.

 

So just going ahead without pausing must lead to success right? Of course yes!

 

The problem is for the weak hearted ones. A word of appreciation is always a good motivating factor, as much as the self confidence.

 

Everyone must have at least one thing to reassure them, despite all the what-ifs and buts, it is okay to move forward and the  way ahead is the only way to go.

 

Out of the few, this one is my favourite boost to put my heart and soul to what I do.

 

 

தெய்வத்தான் ஆகா தெனினும் 

முயற்சி

தன்

மெய்வருத்தக் கூலி தரும் (619)

 

Theyvaththaan Aakaa Theninum Muyarsidhan

Meyvaruththak Kooli Tharum  (619)

 

Even if fate or God doesn’t aid, perseverance will pay

the wages for one’s efforts.  [

Couplet 619

]

 

 

The above quote contains a poem verses from Thirukkural.   This was written in my mother tongue Tamil long time back.  The verses from the poem convey, what I want to convey beautifully.  The quote itself was copied from the following link:  https://aadhira.wordpress.com/tag/muyarchi-than-mei-varutha-kooli-tharum/

 

These are 2 (actually 1 & 1/2) line couplets that are cryptic in many ways.  IMHO trying to translate them word by word into 2 line short sentence in English does not do any justice to the verses.   There are 133 topics each have 10 short 2 line verses.  Perseverance is one among the 133 topics chosen by the poet.  This link has slightly better explanation in English of the verses on the topic Perseverance.

Edited February 2, 2017 by Cauvery

[thursday]

Cauvery, I agree and I think Roger probably agrees too..

 

One of my teachers once wrote to me that effort is needed to gain enough momentum to get to the tipping point.. From that point onwards peace and expansion/vibration rise will only increase naturally and time spent in formal meditation will not be as necessary anymore as before.. Until reaching that point it's still "hard work"..

 

I guess it's like Spotless wrote in another thread that at some point the seeker stops seeking.. That it could be the same or similar what he meant?

[silent thunder]

This deeply resonates with me and a relatively recent realization of my process.

Both Zhou Ting-Jue and Wang Li Ping talk about inertia and in the early stages... establishing and gathering inertia. 

 

There was an intial building period.  Learning forms, perfecting forms, incredible attention to hand placement and breath depth and all manner of details and minutea...  Zhou often says.  "Practice every day.  Miss one day is missing ten days" 

 

and I did that for some years...

 

and then a point manifested and I became aware that from this point on and indeed for some time prior to this moment of realization, no matter what I did, or did not do, all I had done and whatever I would engage in from this point on... it would all be grist for the mill... nothing would be, or could be wasted.  Inertia had been established and its presence manifested in all sorts of areas of my life... in silence or speaking, in motion or stillness, paying attention or zoning out... never is it possible to be disconnected from, or even a hairs width away from source. 

 

Tao is everpresent, yet indistinguishable.

Impenetrable and utterly yielding.

 

Looking back now, I seem to sense how the inertia was really there long before the word, probably all along, driving me into these teachers presence with the awareness that they were resonating with something deep inside of me, perhaps before childhood even... yet the work was and is still, irreplaceable as a means to crystallize the realization and the relationship with the inertia from the fog of pre-aware practice.

[thursday]

Thanks silent thunder, it is good to read that.. Especially the way you put it with "nothing would be or could be wasted".

 

There are moments that I feel closer to having a chance of reaching that point some time and it always seems to be when I allow myself to follow instructions more precisely, like you put it with "paying more attention to small changes"..

 

Then at other times, maybe most of the time, my mind is protesting heavily against it.. Actually I have noticed that it's probably not protesting as much as before and that certain negative patterns have burned themselves out over time..

 

Maybe there are things going on beneath my conscious awareness or I believe they are going on because observing cause and effect in things during daily life, I can only come to the conclusion that there's no other way to my goal than trying to do better with things in life..

 

Why would I want suffering if I can produce solutions that benefit not only myself, but also the greater good?

[s1va]

Cauvery, I agree and I think Roger probably agrees too..

 

One of my teachers once wrote to me that effort is needed to gain enough momentum to get to the tipping point.. From that point onwards peace and expansion/vibration rise will only increase naturally and time spent in formal meditation will not be as necessary anymore as before.. Until reaching that point it's still "hard work"..

 

I guess it's like Spotless wrote in another thread that at some point the seeker stops seeking.. That it could be the same or similar what he meant?

 

I agree entirely with what you have said.  I agree with Roger also entirely.

 

Where I disagree is, when we make statements in forums online, 'we don't have to try', (in another thread I just saw someone advocating there are "no methods" and when we realize there are "no methods", that is the way to enlightenment).  

There is truth in these statements also.  On the other hand, these statements can cause potential unwanted damage to some (or many).

 

There is 'nothing to try', or that line of thinking has the possibility to escalate.

To escalate to other statements like this made by some philosopher: "nothing is good or bad, our thinking makes it so".

 

Yes, I agree with him also.  But, putting forth such ideas to those who are not ready (like me), can causes damage.  I will be very happy to take up the "no trying".  Trust me 

 

Many people have not crossed the stage that you are talking about.  The place from where, there is no seeking. 

 

It would be wonderful for me to be on the other side of the line, where there is no seeking.  Sadly right now, I am at a place where there is "seeking".  As long as there is seeking, I must DO things and keep moving.  There is "good" and there is "bad".  I have to work on these from where I am.   Otherwise, I stagnate or end up in ways that are counter productive to me.

[thursday]

It's good to know that I'm not the only one still seeking Cauvery! It may take me a long time till I get there, but I feel like it would be worth it.

 

I guess there will always be good and bad, but it sounds like that from the point that silent thunder and others have come to, it gets increasingly easier to make good choices.

 

My teacher once wrote to me, well actually probably more than once in different ways ( !!) that the time it takes to get to that point has a lot to do with how much value is given to sincere practise..

[s1va]

Yup.  Very much on seeking mode.   Personally, I have seen very few (less than handful) that are not in seeking mode.  I have met a lot of people that claim that they are not seeking.  Their actions tell something else.