When you came to cross-roads in your life, what did you do?

[qicat]

All of us at some point or another hit cross-roads in life where small time frame defines our next destiny. I am at such place and have been thinking about next steps and nothing shows up so far. I am wondering how do other people solve such puzzles? I.e. move or stay in certain location, get or not get that job, do or not do something, study or not study, etc...

 

I know the teaching point of "following your heart", but my heart so far is screaming about what IT DOES NOT WANT to do, but not about what IT WANTS to do". 

 

How did you do it in your own life?

 

Meow...

Edited March 24, 2017 by qicat

[Miffymog]

Curious you mention this. For the last 3 years I've been wondering what direction my life, or rather my career, should go in. I've been keeping myself busy, but not going in any particular direction. But just in the last month I've decided exactly what I want to do.

 

Interestingly enough, the path I'm now going on is one I've been aware of as a possibility for some time but not wanted to take. 2 months ago, the thought of doing what I'm doing now was quite unappealing, but now I'm quite excited about it and full of motivation.

 

I can't really pinpoint at any one thing that has helped me work out what I want to do, other than the time is now right for it.

 

If I'd started down this path before I felt I was ready it just would not have worked...

[Marblehead]

I got out of the way so the eighteen wheeler wouldn't run over me.

[qicat]

I got out of the way so the eighteen wheeler wouldn't run over me.

I read your sentence twice. And both times it was "enlightened wheeler"... I never thought I have dyslexia, lolz...

[Marblehead]

I read your sentence twice. And both times it was "enlightened wheeler"... I never thought I have dyslexia, lolz...

 

That speaks well to your topic.  Misreading the signs cause us to make bad judgements while at crossroads in our life.

[thelerner]

In theory

Take the road less traveled

or

the one that presents the most challenges.

That's what improves us and makes life memorable.

 

in reality,

keep doing research until the urge to travel passes

then head back home, ignoring the crossroad. 

[Aetherous]

my heart so far is screaming about what IT DOES NOT WANT to do

 

Don't do it...hold off on things. Seek guidance about your path.

[qicat]

Your heart screams about something, it does not want? Is that the correct understanding?

 

 

Why walk ahead with something, when your heart screams, no!!!       ???

I don't... lolz, but sitting on cross-roads getting weird...

[qicat]

Your heart screams about something, it does not want? Is that the correct understanding?

 

 

Why walk ahead with something, when your heart screams, no!!!       ???

but Silicon Valley tech salary has its own appeal... money is a hard thing to fight... when your bank account gets low...

[rene]

I don't... lolz, but sitting on cross-roads getting weird...

It can get weird,yeppers.

Some time ago, I was at a crossroads, had to choose between A, B & C. (Job offer, new relationship, moving to where I wanted to be) All were in different parts of the country, so had to choose between them. Here's what happened:

 

I chose A. That morning, when I called to accept, the job offer was recinded. That afternoon, I chose B...only to have that door slam shut within hours. I was like WTF??

 

The next day I packed up & moved to the mountains, no job, knowing no one. So far it's working out fine. (-:

 

Sometimes we choose & sometimes life chooses for us, lol. What works for me is to have a general idea of what I want, move in that direction, and then let whatever comes fill in the details.

 

Best of luck!

[Protector]

"When on the crossroads of life, use the turn signal"

[Prasanna]

All of us at some point or another hit cross-roads in life where small time frame defines our next destiny. I am at such place and have been thinking about next steps and nothing shows up so far. I am wondering how do other people solve such puzzles? I.e. move or stay in certain location, get or not get that job, do or not do something, study or not study, etc...

 

I know the teaching point of "following your heart", but my heart so far is screaming about what IT DOES NOT WANT to do, but not about what IT WANTS to do". 

 

How did you do it in your own life?

 

Meow...

Let us see what are the factors that can influence our decision making and what factors among them can take us to our evolution. You are in crossroads because you have done something extremely good that you are made to pause for a while to make the right move in life. Not many get that chance. Twenty one (21) years back I too was in the same crossroads that you have described here in your post. I had taken admission in an Engineering college to do my Masters in Computer applications. I didn't have a clue whether I had the right mindset to do the course before i joined. I was in utter confusion since I could not study properly from the beginning. I started thinking about my future and got worried since nothing seemed to be certain or seemed to be favourable for my future. Just then there was a lecture by my present Guru (Swami. Parthasarathy) on Vedanta philosophy, on Bhagavad Gita at the Town hall. It was December 25th 1995 I attended the lecture and continued to attend it for the next four days till the completion of the lectures. One of the days during the lecture I decided that I should take up the course on Vedanta philosophy full time so that I learn what is life before I venture into my life. My advice would be to learn the art of right contact with the world before you venture into living your life. Vedanta philosophy helped me. We have to know very well about what we are and what the world is in reality so that we make the right decisions. Vedanta philosphy taught me objectivity and self sufficiency necessary for leading a purposeful life.

[Marblehead]

 

 

[Taomeow]

 

This is the traditional image of many Russian folk tales.  The hero, in his or her travels, comes to a stone that bears this inscription:  "If you go right, this and this will happen...  If you go left, this and that...  If you go straight, the outcome will be..."  The versions of what exactly will happen in each scenario vary from tale to tale, but the stone-of-trifurcation situation is archetypal.  

 

"If you go right, you lose your horse.  If you go left, you lose your life.  If you go straight, you find happiness but forget who you are."  Or, "To the right, you find yourself a wife.  To the left, you find yourself wealth.  Straight, you find glory." 

 

It's never easy to choose. 

 

I have a personal strategy though.  Whenever I can't make up my mind, I ask the I Ching.

 

Sometimes the choice becomes clear, but sometimes the advice is along the lines of, "learn to tolerate ambiguity."  Then I don't choose and wait for the cosmic process to take me elsewhere, somewhere where the choice, the crossroads, etc., simply dissolve into nonexistence.  Or take me to a new crossroads...  whoa, how did I get here?..  And how do I get out of here...  or alternatively, how do I stay here?..  

 

Good luck.

[Spotless]

What you choose will not be by choice - so when the choice is made look at the frequency / vibration you are embraced in.

Notice the patina of newness that is now a part of the "new frequencies" you are living within.

 

You may notice that this new group of frequencies has left behind some elements that you were truly done with - and you may notice pesky others that continue. A still others which you are at ease with and "make" you.

 

You can try to look at it from a prior standpoint - and look at what elements you think you are done with - but often they are what you resist and only wish you were done with.

 

Tameow suggested the I Ching - it is a way of asking the universe to whisper to you - it is not a bad practice to foster this hearing.

There are many I Ching's whiispering in everything.

[Fa Xin]

Usually go with my gut and hope for the best.

 

Que Sera sera

Edited March 29, 2017 by Fa Xin

[silent thunder]

my internal emperor has two advisors... heart and mind

 

I always consult them both, but as time has progressed I notice now

when there is a strong disagreement between the two

I follow the heart

[gendao]

We face "either/or" crossroads because we have internal conflicts.

 

So, the more we clear our own blockages, the more we resolve these conflicts, and the less crossroads appear in our lives.

 

New Agey WEIRDos are fond of saying to follow your heart...

Problem is, most of our hearts are clouded and broken from trauma, lol.

That's what they naively leave out..

So, you might as well be following an inaccurate GPS...until you heal it.

 

Basically, it all begins and ends with your own self-healing.

Edited March 30, 2017 by gendao

[words]

  Misreading the signs cause us to make bad judgements while at crossroads in our life.

 

there are no bad judgments. at any given moment, we are what we are and that's the most we can be in that given moment. the misreading of the signs is part of whom one is in that moment, is their 'signs literacy' level at that time.

 

people have this tendency of beating themselves up with what ifs and could have done more and not good enough and finding error and guilt.

 

every moment/experience is showing one where they're at, not where they aren't. where they aren't is all in their head, because if they aren't there, how could they really know where they aren't, you know what i mean?

 

sometimes in retrospect something might look like a bad judgement and that's because in the meantime more data was accumulated and processed and the one looking back is not the same person who made the 'bad judgement'. 

 

life is like a refining process and all phases, experiences and moments are part of it. as they are.

 

 

Responding to the title:

 

what to me feels like a life crossroad is always a choice between 'i know for sure i don't want this' and 'whatever'. the sense is so strong that it doesn't even feel like a choice, really. it's like standing on the edge of a cliff. i might have no idea where i want to go from there, but i am sure i don't want to jump. so naturally,  my next step will be moving away from the edge. then i'll see or time will tell, or whatever. i can only find my second step if my first one isn't over the edge of the cliff, you know? 

[silent thunder]

there are no bad judgments. at any given moment, we are what we are and that's the most we can be in that given moment. the misreading of the signs is part of whom one is in that moment, is their 'signs literacy' level at that time.

 

people have this tendency of beating themselves up with what ifs and could have done more and not good enough and finding error and guilt.

 

every moment/experience is showing one where they're at, not where they aren't. where they aren't is all in their head, because if they aren't there, how could they really know where they aren't, you know what i mean?

 

sometimes in retrospect something might look like a bad judgement and that's because in the meantime more data was accumulated and processed and the one looking back is not the same person who made the 'bad judgement'. 

 

life is like a refining process and all phases, experiences and moments are part of it. as they are.

 

 

Responding to the title:

 

what to me feels like a life crossroad is always a choice between 'i know for sure i don't want this' and 'whatever'. the sense is so strong that it doesn't even feel like a choice, really. it's like standing on the edge of a cliff. i might have no idea where i want to go from there, but i am sure i don't want to jump. so naturally,  my next step will be moving away from the edge. then i'll see or time will tell, or whatever. i can only find my second step if my first one isn't over the edge of the cliff, you know? 

 

 

Well said words.  That really resonates.  crossroads... choice... 

 

I have long held the notion that what I used to consider to be my choices... are actually the post-act rationalization of the predetermined, compulsory actions based on behaviorally conditioned responses that would have happened regardless of intent and are largely unconscious acts.

 

Looking back and analyzing why I did something, or did not do another, in various situations will yield what appears to be a 'choice' that I made and in the moment it may also feel like a choice.

 

However, with awareness in the moment, there is a palpable realization that there is in almost every moment, no choice at all... not in any effectual manner.  There are the conditions of life, of which I am a part, and then there is the response to those conditions that I will affect, and there is hardly an option for any other action aside from the one I will inevitably take...

 

Breaking it down after the fact, I used to look at an act and analyze it and say, 'this is why I made this choice at this crossroads', yet the reality, in the moment, when I'm aware and not sunning myself, is that based on how I view the world and how I have been conditioned by society and my family and my own self... there is one action that can be predicted almost like a chemical reaction and this to me indicates clearly that there is not really choice at all, rather justifcation after the fact, for my compulsive, predictable behavioral conditioned responses to stimuli.

 

edit: to clarify the final sentence/thought.

Edited March 30, 2017 by silent thunder

[Marblehead]

there are no bad judgments. at any given moment, we are what we are and that's the most we can be in that given moment. the misreading of the signs is part of whom one is in that moment, is their 'signs literacy' level at that time.

 

 

You let us off easy with that one.  I'm a little harder on myself.  I guess it's because of my age.  (I should have known that by now.)

[qicat]

Little update on the topic: 

1. Does not seem to be any progress. Still on the cross-roads. 

2. Sifu told me to go find "Divine" ( i.e. God) and Lama told me to go find "Wisdom". Seems I will be living on cross-roads forever with these impossible tasks...

[Nungali]

I got out of the way so the eighteen wheeler wouldn't run over me.

 

Ohhhhhhh    .....   so there are times when you will back down from an  ' argument '  !              

[Nungali]

Little update on the topic: 

1. Does not seem to be any progress. Still on the cross-roads. 

2. Sifu told me to go find "Divine" ( i.e. God) and Lama told me to go find "Wisdom". Seems I will be living on cross-roads forever with these impossible tasks...

 

Well, no offense chaps ....   but   go find  divine or wisdom sounds like fortune cookie wisdom and a hand waving away .

 

You get Steiney to give you a tarot reading ... at least it will be a little 'beefier' than the above two options. 

[Nungali]

Anywayz  ... I'll give it a go .   two things;

 

1; in the past   ( ' practices'  ) being  'at the cross roads' has been one of the best experiences in my life and I still maintain  vivid and fond memories .   Its where I met Simbi la Flambeau  !  

 

Although, nowadays , limping around the farm and getting older , I feel more like Papa Legba

 

 

 

 

2.   Towards the end of  our Supreme Court case ( to take all out land and houses )  it was taking a nasty turn, things and people started turning against ... even people that were going to loose their homes turned against us and joined the people that wanted to take their homes ....  as it can in a battle, it went through a seemingly hopeless stage, and everyone (including our lawyers ) said we didnt have a hope .

 

Also at that time it was near impossible and ridiculously expensive to find somewhere to live .  At that time I actually had put up 5 travelling youths in a camp in my back yard .    I was thinking  I should leave and go and live somewhere else, but  had no idea how I could manage that ... even move my stuff , seemed impossible . 

 

Around this time I was also visiting my Aboriginal shamanic teacher a bit , I would travel a little way north and stay at his camp. His most recent insistence was ; You want something - ask Mum, she will give it to you , just ask.   Of course , one also has to be filling ones own part of the contract ; following 'law' and certain other things.  So I gave it a go . 

 

Previously, I had been looking at where and how much rentals where .... that was not encouraging .   So I 'asked mum' and went back on the internet, first hit seemed unbelievable .... is this a mistake !   Amazing house, nearby up on the mountain , multiple rooms very cheap.  Lots of  people had rung about it but she seemed to like me.   I sneaked around it and had a look  WOW ! and specifically my type of WOW .

 

Everything just started falling into place - great landlords - left us two huge loads of firewood and bought us a spare 100lb gas bottle in case the one they left behind ran out .    There was something special and amazing about that place  (also it was an old  B&B  (bed and breakfast ) with an accommodation wing , great for visitors staying   .

 

Then one day, as I was driving to it, I just kept going .... to sort of, get a view of it as I drove past ... thats when it hit me !   MY Gawd!    Fashback! 

 

The first time I ever visited the area, before I moved there ( but down in the valley )  I went along that road on my motorcycle ( a popular run )    and went by this house and its view and thought 'Look at that place !   I would love to have a chance to live in a place like that , if only for a little while . '   And now, here I was .....   amazing -       thanks mum !       

 

Then , for a while I had two places ; Lodge on mountain and cabin down in rainforest by the river .     

 

PS .   THings took a turn, we kicked their arse in court,    the owner of the Lodge ( who was going to move to Perth and wanted me to stay at Lodge for at least 18 months ) - her life 'fell apart' she rang me crying   and said she wanted to know if she could move back to the house , I said ;  sure and thank you.  We won the court case, I moved back home ... still here . 

 

I guess I turned left,  found a nice little BBQ area , stopped for a break, went back turned left again and continued on my way .