Awareness is exhausting!

[Seeker of Wisdom]

[...]Sometime into a good walk in the woods when I start to actually be continuesly aware of things in my mind and outside me, what starts happening shortly after is I'm becoming quite 'fatigued'. I cannot pinpoint what is it really. A mixture of irritation, mental strain and a feeling of disappointment. Yet the only thing I'm doing is observing stuff that comes here and now.[...]

Sometimes this can be the sort of thing that's supposed to happen... as you gain clarity about the simple reality of things, it can rub up against your concepts and attachments, and make you more sensitive to your own resistance and the existential strain (dukkha) caused by that resistance. If this is the case - no problem, keep up the practice, be patient and just watch whatever comes up.

 

It could also be the case that you're just tensing up or straining yourself, in which case you'd need to loosen up. Just be gently curious about what's going on, rather than trying to stare it down.

[Gerard]

Ppa,

 

Please relax and let go. Forced awareness is what causes that tension/tiredness. Are you doing heavy while elaxed leg work prior to the calm mindfulness work? The yin needs to be nourished heavily before moving to the higher centres. In all times go without an agenda. Watch and relax, let go and next day start all over again, like a routine without expectations.

Edited April 24, 2017 by Gerard

[Papayapple]

Reading topics about similar issues on dharma overground(which is awesome btw) made me immediately more able to precisely name the feelings I am often experiencing. For example:

 

5-8 minutes into my Zhan Zhuang, I usually start feeling quite frustrated and very impatient.

When I walk I often feel... like not centered, not whole, quite distracted and agitated.

And when I sit... It's a lot of things like feeling of not doing it right and so on.

 

So what I think I ought to do is to keep recognizing that these things are there, and that they will be rising and passing.

It seems like Buddhist insight guys are noting all those things and giving them a name each time, so that they can become comfortable with whatever comes up.

This is actually quite effective for me, although laborious. 

Meditating like this makes me feel geeky about my mind hahaha .

Do Taoists also apply this technique? And is it related somehow to the general "watch what happens" meditation?

Cheers.

[dwai]

It is because you are on the "edge" of starting to energetically connect more with the world around you. The irritation is the subconscious sort of touching on it, but not quite consciously making it. Another way to think of it is that you are going higher in consciousness and since you are not yet used to the altitude (don't yet have the supporting energy flows), you have a tough time breathing and get tired.

 

All good stuff.

 

I think it is also related to the Spring energy. 

[blue eyed snake]

I've thought sometimes, that the getting irritable during practice or just walking in stillness has as it source that blockages are slowly loosening themselves. there emotional content comes up , giving you the feeling of irritation. Also I suspect that physical part of blockages coming loose give some sort of  'waste' in the body. Thereby generating tiredness.

 

it be good to drink a nice amount of water or herbal tea to help the body getting rid of this waste

just my opinion

[C T]

5 hours ago, blue eyed snake said:

I've thought sometimes, that the getting irritable during practice or just walking in stillness has as it source that blockages are slowly loosening themselves. there emotional content comes up , giving you the feeling of irritation. Also I suspect that physical part of blockages coming loose give some sort of  'waste' in the body. Thereby generating tiredness.

 

it be good to drink a nice amount of water or herbal tea to help the body getting rid of this waste

just my opinion

In some instances, the physical tiredness could be due to what is known as 'leaky gut syndrome'. If unchecked, it is almost impossible to eradicate the effects, chief of which is constant lethargy. Good news is that its not a difficult condition to repair. I've heard positive reports of almost immediate relief from intake of kefir, increased intake of pre and probiotics and supplementing with L Glutamine. Additionally, it is wise to include multi-coloured fruits and vegetables in one's diet, especially squash, pumpkin, sweet potato, watermelon, kale, red cabbage, okra, papaya, various berries, and black sesame seeds. Red cabbage made into sauerkraut, or a good quality Korean kimchi is also recommended. Fermented foods are meant to be especially beneficial to the body. 

[Spotless]

On 4/17/2017 at 5:25 AM, Papayapple said:

I know everybody will jump in saying that it's just my personality and identity backfiring at me but I just cannot get over it that way.

Sometime into a good walk in the woods when I start to actually be continuesly aware of things in my mind and outside me, what starts happening shortly after is I'm becoming quite 'fatigued'. I cannot pinpoint what is it really. A mixture of irritation, mental strain and a feeling of disappointment. Yet the only thing I'm doing is observing stuff that comes here and now.

 

Is it just a kind of a withdrawal symptom? Withdrawal from indulging in the stuff of the past and future?

 

It's really easy for me to think all this as just a fatigue that comes from focusing my attention on REALITY.

But how can this be? Why would that be soo tiring?

You have been trying to use the observing mind (Presence) with the analytical mind - it doesn't work that way.

 

This is a confusion with the idea of "focusing" in meditation. It is a confusion with the idea of certain mental exercises and also with working the muscles of the analyzer while holding it to a lengthy mental analysis such as a logic problem.

 

Presence has nothing to do with the analyzing mind - the illusion. Trying to press Presence into working in this way creates a headache.

 

You can also get this type of headache in meditation: if this occurs simply move the awareness back a bit to the center of the head and the pressure will decrease.  The analyzer is located very much near the 3rd eye and it looks like popcorn popping when it is activated. For many the popcorn popping is what they think it is to be alive - so in meditation even though one is "supressing thoughts" - (which is not actually what is suggested) - people want to focus and so they electrify the analyzer while at the same time trying not to be in it - this will give you a headache.

 

While walking in the woods next time - try looking without looking.   But be easy on the "trying".

 

This conversation brings to mind people trying to see with the 3rd eye - it actually requires no-effort while they will tell stories of focusing and laser eye and other stuff that is counter productive.