Awareness is exhausting!

[Papayapple]

I know everybody will jump in saying that it's just my personality and identity backfiring at me but I just cannot get over it that way.

Sometime into a good walk in the woods when I start to actually be continuesly aware of things in my mind and outside me, what starts happening shortly after is I'm becoming quite 'fatigued'. I cannot pinpoint what is it really. A mixture of irritation, mental strain and a feeling of disappointment. Yet the only thing I'm doing is observing stuff that comes here and now.

 

Is it just a kind of a withdrawal symptom? Withdrawal from indulging in the stuff of the past and future?

 

It's really easy for me to think all this as just a fatigue that comes from focusing my attention on REALITY.

But how can this be? Why would that be soo tiring?

[allinone]

being aware is forceful activity like the feeling of having to do the things you don't want to do.

 

Its only the initial moments when awareness feels pleasant and great. Also any new activity we do feels great at first till it gets boring..or things we don't have done for a while then doing them again feels fresh. same with renouncing, doing things we get disappointed and renounce but after a while we get attracted again.

Edited April 17, 2017 by allinone

[Jeff]

It is because you are on the "edge" of starting to energetically connect more with the world around you. The irritation is the subconscious sort of touching on it, but not quite consciously making it. Another way to think of it is that you are going higher in consciousness and since you are not yet used to the altitude (don't yet have the supporting energy flows), you have a tough time breathing and get tired.

 

All good stuff.

[Kar3n]

When our mind is still and in touch, we are able to take in much more energy from our surroundings. That energy is "knocking" on the blocks within us. As your energy body grows and you let go more and more you will become less fatigued and more open to everything around you.

 

I spoke with a Geshe about this a while back. He suggested that if there is a particular area in the body that is tired, place some gentle focus there and relax into it for a minute or two. He also suggested that when breathing to breath in in such a way as to feel the breath in the entire body before exhaling.

 

If you can, take your shoes off and walk around bare footed for a few minutes. It always helps me with the irritation.

 

You are going to be ok. I'd say you are on the right track and to be patient with yourself, force nothing, stay in the flow for as long as you can. It will smooth out. 

 

[blue eyed snake]

When our mind is still and in touch, we are able to take in much more energy from our surroundings. That energy is "knocking" on the blocks within us. As your energy body grows and you let go more and more you will become less fatigued and more open to everything around you.

 

I spoke with a Geshe about this a while back. He suggested that if there is a particular area in the body that is tired, place some gentle focus there and relax into it for a minute or two. He also suggested that when breathing to breath in in such a way as to feel the breath in the entire body before exhaling.

 

If you can, take your shoes off and walk around bare footed for a few minutes. It always helps me with the irritation.

 

You are going to be ok. I'd say you are on the right track and to be patient with yourself, force nothing, stay in the flow for as long as you can. It will smooth out. 

 

 

I'd like to add that it may be wise to take it slow

[rex]

When I first started meditating and chanting it was really exhausting and all sorts of counter impulses would arise. Perserverance and good motivation pays off. All the best.

[doc benway]

I know everybody will jump in saying that it's just my personality and identity backfiring at me but I just cannot get over it that way.

 

Sometime into a good walk in the woods when I start to actually be continuesly aware of things in my mind and outside me, what starts happening shortly after is I'm becoming quite 'fatigued'. I cannot pinpoint what is it really. A mixture of irritation, mental strain and a feeling of disappointment. Yet the only thing I'm doing is observing stuff that comes here and now.

 

Is it just a kind of a withdrawal symptom? Withdrawal from indulging in the stuff of the past and future?

 

It's really easy for me to think all this as just a fatigue that comes from focusing my attention on REALITY.

But how can this be? Why would that be soo tiring?

The thought that usurps the title "thinker" or "observer" is used to having her way with your attention.

It is habitual and therefore comfortable and effortless.

In making the transition to a different emphasis on attention, there is enormous resistance.

It is like untying a piece of rolled up paper that's been rolled for decades, it will not flatten easily.

 

Practices like shamatha or zhine have 3 stages - 

1. Effortful - much energy is required to maintain focus

2. Effortless - we can rest relax into the experience with little or no exertion

3. Ultimate - we no longer even relax, it is of itself so, nothing to do and no one to do it...

 

With skillful practice, persistence, and patience, it is possible to dis-identify with the "thinker" and simply allow the thoughts to come and go without engaging. 

Over time it takes less effort and, eventually, it is restful and rejuvenating. 

Like BES says, take it slow. 

[Papayapple]

It is because you are on the "edge" of starting to energetically connect more with the world around you. The irritation is the subconscious sort of touching on it, but not quite consciously making it. Another way to think of it is that you are going higher in consciousness and since you are not yet used to the altitude (don't yet have the supporting energy flows), you have a tough time breathing and get tired.

 

All good stuff.

Ok I like the way you're explaining it. It's really me resisting it in fear of becoming dull and boring. Quite silly.

 

When our mind is still and in touch, we are able to take in much more energy from our surroundings. That energy is "knocking" on the blocks within us. As your energy body grows and you let go more and more you will become less fatigued and more open to everything around you.

 

I spoke with a Geshe about this a while back. He suggested that if there is a particular area in the body that is tired, place some gentle focus there and relax into it for a minute or two. He also suggested that when breathing to breath in in such a way as to feel the breath in the entire body before exhaling.

 

If you can, take your shoes off and walk around bare footed for a few minutes. It always helps me with the irritation.

 

You are going to be ok. I'd say you are on the right track and to be patient with yourself, force nothing, stay in the flow for as long as you can. It will smooth out. 

 

Alright then! Glad you good people are still eager to encourage others. I guess I'll just chill out.

 

I'm curious: is everybody going through these kinds of things?

 

Please share if you did!

[allinone]

when you focus your attention to reality, it is not really a reality, instead you shift your focus on left eye. From there you can shift to luminosity.

that it feels tiring and exhausting is related to neck, throat, swallow. That is where also your food come in and if no food has come in you are doomed, so its specially important to make powerful friends and not show weakness.

That said, in order to make your quests comfortable, then don't show how much you have but instead make yourself inferior. You will feel bad and under pressure but others will feel good.

 

in awareness substance case, its originates from belly. This substance is needed to wake up from dream to waking life.

[Jeff]

Ok I like the way you're explaining it. It's really me resisting it in fear of becoming dull and boring. Quite silly.

 

Alright then! Glad you good people are still eager to encourage others. I guess I'll just chill out.

I'm curious: is everybody going through these kinds of things?

Please share if you did!

Everyone who stretches their "muscles" feels some strain. Many do not stretch and just stay in their little bubble where it is easier.

 

As I said, you are on the edge of being able to consciously notice some of those energy connections to your surrounding environment, and it is possible to help you notice more. Can help out with some "oxygen" for those higher level hikes. Just send me a pm if you are ever interested.

[Marblehead]

I had to read the thread.  Sorry.  Now I have something to say.

 

Is your exhaustion perhaps arising from your concentrating on your awareness?  This would consume much energy.

 

In the state of "wu wei" there is awareness but there is no concentrating on anything within the area of awareness.  There is no intent.  Intent consumes energy.  (Because it is conscious thought.)

 

And "forcing things" has a lot to do with it as well.  That consumes much energy.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Marblehead

[Papayapple]

I had to read the thread.  Sorry.  Now I have something to say.

 

Is your exhaustion perhaps arising from your concentrating on your awareness?  This would consume much energy.

 

In the state of "wu wei" there is awareness but there is no concentrating on anything within the area of awareness.  There is no intent.  Intent consumes energy.  (Because it is conscious thought.)

 

And "forcing things" has a lot to do with it as well.  That consumes much energy.

Maybe, probably, yes and of course... but that would mean that concentrating is an activity you can do and awareness 'happens to' you, or, is involuntary.

 

Is there a WAY to get into wu wei or it just comes when the time is right.

You know... it's easy to simply gap out when you stop actively concentrating.

Saying that just to get a discussion going, albeit good answers posted already.

[blue eyed snake]

I'm curious: is everybody going through these kinds of things?

Please share if you did!

 

yes, i've had much tiredness and feeling sorta stressed while getting loose from ingrained patterns. Looking back is see that one of the reasons that i'm having chronic fatigue syndrome is that I went too fast through that process

 

The bodyandmind  can take only so much at a time, that's the reason i mentioned that taking it slow might be a good idea.

[Kar3n]

***MOD TEAM NOTICE***

 

Some selections from this thread have been split into a new thread to maintain the subject matter and integrity of the topic.

This is a friendly reminder to stay on topic in this area of the boards and to remember we have folks here who are seekers.

 

http://www.thedaobums.com/topic/43990-counterbalancing-evil/

 

***

[Marblehead]

Maybe, probably, yes and of course... but that would mean that concentrating is an activity you can do and awareness 'happens to' you, or, is involuntary.

 

Is there a WAY to get into wu wei or it just comes when the time is right.

You know... it's easy to simply gap out when you stop actively concentrating.

Saying that just to get a discussion going, albeit good answers posted already.

 

If I attempted to answer your question I would just be blowing smoke and I don't want to do that while a constructive discussion is still going on.

 

I do think though that there are a few members here who can give you good guidance for preparing one's self for the state of wu wei.

 

More than anything else my above post was designed to offer questions for thought.  We each must walk our own path but we can open our self to other practices we haven't yet tried.  Maybe there is something just up the path a little way that will be more useful than what we now have.  I know that I can honestly say that empty-minded meditation helped me a lot.

[amar]

Chogyam Trungpa frequently expressed the idea of ownership and territory in his talks, and mentions the idea of " disowning" thoughts and habits. I think his point might have been that the truly exhausting thing is holding onto, owning, and caring for what is "ours." He also mentioned the idea of pulling ourselves out of our individual cocoons, and feeling tired and exposed might actually be a good sign at this point!

[AussieTrees]

Everyone who stretches their "muscles" feels some strain. Many do not stretch and just stay in their little bubble where it is easier.

As I said, you are on the edge of being able to consciously notice some of those energy connections to your surrounding environment, and it is possible to help you notice more. Can help out with some "oxygen" for those higher level hikes. Just send me a pm if you are ever interested.

Today I have sore feet,well I came across some mention of bagua circle walking,curiosity finally to hold,yea had heard of bagua before usually in triagram symbols,but really still have little knowledge about this energy circle.

Well after reading a bit,came across this 8 circle 7 circle change direction 6 circle change direction,right down to one circle changing directing with each number,equals 36 circles.

So anyway tried it out,mud walking then normal walking very interesting energy created,felt light footed,it was meditative,much energy circulating,circling energy from sun to earth in a larger energy circuit,head to foot,surprising routine.

Unexpected sore feet,really sore,can still walk alright,new practice new soreness,"can we do it again,please."

[windwalker]

Many people have an inner dialogue that assesses and informs them of the world around them.


To be in the moment is different from viewing the moment. The tiredness you feel may be the self trying to regain it's perspective of what it feels the moment to be, not willing to relinquish it's own internal point of view for what the moment is.

Edited April 21, 2017 by windwalker

[liminal_luke]

If you`re practicing being aware and become fatigued, why not turn your attention to become aware of the fatigue?  I suspect that if you`re curious and attentive to the exhausion itself, the process will deepen.

Edited April 20, 2017 by liminal_luke

[silent thunder]

if you let everything else go

 

awareness remains

[allinone]

if you let everything else go

 

awareness remains

awareness is female sexual organ in head.

 

edit: female has to become man. And man who is female has to become man.

Edited April 22, 2017 by allinone

[Fa Xin]

Keep at it, you'll find that sweet spot where there's no "trying to stay in the moment". It will just happen.

 

It's the easiest thing and when it clicks you'll say, of course! That's been there all along.

Edited April 22, 2017 by Fa Xin

[Fa Xin]

Many people have an inner dialogue that assesses and informs them of the world around them.

 

 

To be in the moment is different from viewing the moment. The tiredness you feel may be the self trying to regain it's perspective of what it feels the moment to be, not willing to relinquish it's own internal point of view for what the moment is.

I like this ^^

[Papayapple]

Stuart Alve Olson says this all the time for training, which he says was what Master T.T. Liang would tell him: "Slow up, slow up, I'm in a hurry!" 

I don't quite get what he meant. Do you?

 

Chogyam Trungpa frequently expressed the idea of ownership and territory in his talks, and mentions the idea of " disowning" thoughts and habits. I think his point might have been that the truly exhausting thing is holding onto, owning, and caring for what is "ours." He also mentioned the idea of pulling ourselves out of our individual cocoons, and feeling tired and exposed might actually be a good sign at this point!

Thanks, I'll keep at it. Although there's some suffering coming out of it, it also makes me stronger.

 

if you let everything else go

 

awareness remains

Yeah but just how to know what everything else is? There are a lot of things in me that pretend to be awareness, you know what I mean?

Sometimes when I try to let go of everything I actually gap out for a sec, missing out on what happens.

Almost like there is a kind of a spectrum of awareness that goes from being totally unconscious to being in the now to being in your head. Really hard to stay in the middle.

[Fa Xin]

I don't quite get what he meant. Do you?

 

Thanks, I'll keep at it. Although there's some suffering coming out of it, it also makes me stronger.

 

Yeah but just how to know what everything else is? There are a lot of things in me that pretend to be awareness, you know what I mean?

Sometimes when I try to let go of everything I actually gap out for a sec, missing out on what happens.

Almost like there is a kind of a spectrum of awareness that goes from being totally unconscious to being in the now to being in your head. Really hard to stay in the middle.

A big aspect is just to relax.  

 

I would say just try to sit quietly sometimes, and don't try to do anything. Just sit quietly and relax. 

Don't even try to pay attention or be aware, just let things be.