Energy stuck in the head, insanity, anger, going nuts

[qicat]

 

Funnily enough, the most permanent relief I had from this was after doing intense shadow work, i.e. looking for and loving/accepting the darkest parts of myself. It turns out that by perusing spiritual work over the years I had been pushing shadow aspects of myself away and they must have created a blockage somewhere down in my body which stopped the smooth flow of downward qi and created the blockage in the head. After I found dark parts of my psyche which I had neglected over the years, i.e. lusts, urge to dominate, materialism etc. and embraced those parts of myself in a loving way, the qi started flowing and the head block cleared up.

 

Can you please provide more "technical details" on shadow work part? I am compiling a self-help guide and I would like to include anecdotic evidence that it is actually working. I have read some books on "Shadow work", but too much scholar stuff vs actually step 1 do this feel this step 2 etc...

Thank you.

[grabmywrist4]

http://www.thedaobums.com/topic/43771-observations-on-qi-deviations/

 

you mention you meditate, but you say nothing about your asana/qigong practice first. You mention Guru, so it means you have Indian tradition where they "ship energy up". Daoists look at that a little bit differently. 

I know Jeff can help you, so take on his offer.

If you read my thread and anything "rings the bell" feel free to reach out. I can refer you to some people who might help you as well.

 

Meow....

 

p.s. Drink MINT tea. It cools the energy and should help. 

p.p.s I second on physicians eval. I did the same thing. I doubt they will find anything though...

A Tibetan Buddhist Guru. My practices now, everyday, are focusing on the breath, visualizing a white sphere four finger widths below my navel, chanting the Green Tara mantra, and focusing on my feet in walking meditation. Thanks for the advice about the tea

[words]

 

I have had this problem for so many years. I have been to monks, I have been to teachers, I have seen my guru many times, nothing ever, ever, permanently fixes this problem. When I meditate, energy moves into my head, it builds into a giant ball of pressure, and then anger, delusion, confusion, and insanity start to arise as a result. For years I have tried to fix it, I have been taught so many techniques to fix it, nothing fixes this problem. When the pressure builds up in my head, it starts to hurt my heart and lungs below. I have felt like I was going to have a heart attack before. Every morning I wake up, there it is, the big ball of pressure stuck in my head, i meditate, it gets worse and worse. Everyday is another day of suffering and misery. Horrible horrible emotions constantly arising day after day due to this energy being stuck in my head. Is there anyone in this world that knows how to fix this problem? I haven't met one yet :\

 

 

something can't build up unless it's in a closed space, no? 

 

if anger comes up and you panic and think 'here we go again, alert, anger coming up!', that will trigger an automatic defense mechanism of 'closing the lid to avoid anger flood' and everything that comes up will meet that lid and build up underneath it.

 

the body constricts trying to withstand/isolate the pressure and meditation becomes something you bare, instead of something you relax into, no?

 

either know and understand the anger (anger is also you, after all, it's not separate from you), or just set it free without questioning it (if you feel it might be storing stuff that you don't want to confront).

 

first step would be not judging it. anger is not good or bad, it's just there, being what it is. we tend to deem things as being bad if we look at them through the lenses of fear. so you might start by asking yourself, why is anger scary for you? what makes you push against it? what are your beliefs about anger? for a true inquiry, you'd have to drop those beliefs at least for the time of the inquiry, to see beyond of 'what you think of it'. just look at the core of it and see what you find there. 

 

if anger is what comes up in meditation, then this is what needs to be seen. everything that comes up wants to be seen and heard. it's not a 'meditation error'. the meditation is working, is just not working in the way you think it should work.

 

also, let me ask you, what's meditation for you? it has a goal/purpose, or is an opening to what is?

[qicat]

A Tibetan Buddhist Guru. My practices now, everyday, are focusing on the breath, visualizing a white sphere four finger widths below my navel, chanting the Green Tara mantra, and focusing on my feet in walking meditation. Thanks for the advice about the tea

so you are done with Ngondro? It should have cleared you in 3 years...

 

I am in a clearing/purging state myself right now. Trying to do the foundations first without going high flying. 

 

You might benefit from mandala offering. I.e. offer what you have ( heat and pain). I assume you know the mantra/mudra for short version? Or you can do 37 offerings one. 

Edited April 26, 2017 by qicat

[C T]

so you are done with Ngondro? It should have cleared you in 3 years...

 

I am in a clearing/purging state myself right now. Trying to do the foundations first without going high flying. 

 

You might benefit from mandala offering. I.e. offer what you have ( heat and pain). I assume you know the mantra/mudra for short version? Or you can do 37 offerings one. 

Hi qicat -

 

Are you quite sure that is your understanding of the practice of mandala offering? 

Isn't it one's merits that are offered? 

 

im only asking to make sure your approach to ngondro is not based off incorrect understanding. 

[qicat]

Hi qicat -

 

Are you quite sure that is your understanding of the practice of mandala offering? 

Isn't it one's merits that are offered? 

 

im only asking to make sure your approach to ngondro is not based off incorrect understanding. 

 

I am not talking about ngondro.

 

I am taking about Tantra as non-dual approach. I doubt in preliminaries offering pain and such is a common practice, but if he is past that ( i.e. had completed preliminaries and on his own deity work) and his Guru instructed him to do mandala offerings, it is possible to offer your pain and suffering as offering as it is the same as "love and light". It could release the energy in the same way we are asking him to drink tea or do qigongs, just another skillful means to pass the rough spot...

 

However, we have limited knowledge on what his actual practice is. I doubt Green Tara energy can cause stuff he is describing. She is very.... soft...

Edited April 26, 2017 by qicat

[C T]

I am not talking about ngondro.

 

I am taking about Tantra as non-dual approach. I doubt in preliminaries offering pain and such is a common practice, but if he is past that ( i.e. had completed preliminaries and on his own deity work) and his Guru instructed him to do mandala offerings, it is possible to offer your pain and suffering as offering as it is the same as "love and light". It could release the energy in the same way we are asking him to drink tea or do qigongs, just another skillful means to pass the rough spot...

 

However, we have limited knowledge on what his actual practice is. I doubt Green Tara energy can cause stuff he is describing. She is very.... soft...

Mandala offering is very much part of ngondro, which is a foundational practice. 

 

Its not about offering love and light, or heat and pain. 

 

https://clearemptymind.com/2015/01/21/mandala-offering-ngondro/

 

 

From your words, it appears that you have yet to fully grasp the significance of mandala offering practice - meanwhile, information or advice you are giving others may therefore be inaccurate and may result in confusion and worst, obtaining negative karma as a result.

 

Buddhist tantra is a very specific set of practices and precision is very much prioritised. Even after 20 or so years being a student of Buddhist tantra, I still would not attempt to advice others on how to perform certain core practices, especially over the internet. 

[Starjumper]

In my opinion Inquiry meditation involves thinking so it is not no mind meditation, therefore to me it is not meditation.  It seems to me a highly intelligent person can have a lot of realizations via thinking and reading and then they can parade around as wise while in fact they are parroting ideas and not really so wise.

 

I get the impression that the OP is lacking in physical, aerobic, stretching and strength exercise, and that if he wasn't lacking in this area that he wouldn't have the problem.  In other words, work your ass off physically and stop meditation.

[HoldorFold]

Can you please provide more "technical details" on shadow work part? I am compiling a self-help guide and I would like to include anecdotic evidence that it is actually working. I have read some books on "Shadow work", but too much scholar stuff vs actually step 1 do this feel this step 2 etc...

Thank you.

Sure, I had been practicing the https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self/

http://www.williammistele.com/shadow.html

Edited April 26, 2017 by HoldorFold

[dawei]

a desperate title of, now 35 replies which the OP has only the first post ...  

 

Stop meditating and report back after a few weeks. 

[phil]

Massaging yongquan can help very good. And concentrating on yongquan while walking also

Edited April 27, 2017 by phil48

[s1va]

I will just stick to my experiences.  I had some problems and still have some.  They are not exactly the same as yours but there are similarities.

 

More than the actual problems, it is the mind pronouncing and seeing things as hopeless was an issue for me.  I went to several people and tried several things and none could fix my problems.  Looking back, perhaps any one of those people could have fixed the problem, if I was receptive.  The issue was not necessarily with them, I was not ready.   When you post here with your problem, part of your mind has shut out any hoped of receiving a resolution from here.  This receptiveness is the key in my case.  Any one of the solution or a mix of them could work at times.

 

As Marble pointed out self honesty.  This helped me.  

 

quit being competitive in life, if you suck then just accept it faster.

 

 

More than anything else, the above statements helped me.   It just happened, I was forced into acceptance.  I don't know why it happened one day.  When some pieces in the puzzle fall into place, then others slowly do.  Which ones should fall in place first.  The puzzle can be solved from any place.  I know each one of the suggestions given here are excellent, though they may seem different or even contradictory, they all solve some pieces of the puzzle.  It's that getting started which helped me.

 

Edited to Add:  Inquire and see if this problem is constant.  I mean is the problem in exact state 24x7x365.  In my experience, even if some state of discomfort persists, it's intensity will certainly vary.  From day to day and from period to period.  When I observed, I found there are times within the same day, I feel relatively better.  There were periods when I have felt really better.  What causes such difference?  A diary was helpful to me.  For instance, I got this severe upper back pain over a decade back.  It was constant and I was in agony.  I went to doctors, they did not find anything.  I was sent to chiropractor, that didn't help.  I took up some yoga/asana classes, they did not help right away, increased the issue temporarily.

 

 One physical therapist told me, it is my posture, the way I hold the mouse when I work on computer.    Mind can't accept such simple suggestions, when the perceived problem was huge, such as the chronic pain I had.  I tried to correct my posture as he suggested even though, I thought something major was wrong.   Slowly over a period of time the pain eased.  And then it went away completely.  Unconsciously, I went back into the habit of the bad postures while working.  The pain came back.  Once the pain was back, correcting the posture, did not produce immediate relief.   If I am mindful of the posture, over a period of month or two, the problem slowly eases.  Similarly, the wrong posture does not produce the pain overnight.  It takes several months of wrong posture to suddenly kick in severe pain.   This is where a diary can be truly helpful.  Sometimes the cause and the effect are not immediate.  

Posture is not just important for back pain, I realized posture had to do with so many other things including energy blockages.  Even the position, I sleep matters, over a period.

 

Edited April 29, 2017 by kāvēri