My enlightenment experience.

[Flolfolil]

Woah boy.  Okay.  I debated whether or not to post this here.  I weighed the positive and the negative potentials and decided to just go for it.

 

So, as far as I can tell, I've done it.  Pretty much anything I have ever read about freedom being like, I now experience it on a constant basis.

 

I could put it into a nice flowery story, but I have always been partial to a good bullet list.  Here is said list, a collection of things I now experience.

 

• I now fully recognize and visually see that the world around me, including my ego, is an illusion.  A picture.
• Consciousness in my perception, arises spontaneously and is neither divine nor mundane
• I [?] have been to the place of non perception.  The total emptiness where I didn't even perceive going there until I got out and realized it was terrifying and I'd rather not die.  I can slip into this at any moment, with barely any meditative effort.  I find it difficult to want to sleep because it feels so similar to dying.  In and out of this place, consciousness feels like a slider where existence has to construct the idea of consciousness and you are half conscious as you crawl your way out of the singularity, painstakingly.  When "I" go here and eventually come out, I am usually greeted by whomever I am around shaking me and the realization I have stopped breathing and was beginning to suffocate.
• I frequently now have non dual experience and can go into my idea of samadhi whenever I choose.  I sometimes find it difficult to differentiate between my hand and an object I am holding.  Since the awakening I have been throwing knives in this state with laser like accuracy even though I wasn't even close to being an expert.
• I understand and experience the spontaneous arising of compassion.  This is huge for me because I have always been a sociopathic sadist.  Seeing everything as illusion experientially has lead me to strong feelings of just wanting to see a happy picture in front of my material face.  I want nothing more than to make people smile and feel love
• I have dropped all need to be insertive/assertive.  Recognizing the other as myself I no longer wish to attack because I don't believe in the attacker, the attacked, or the attack.  However, I fluctuate between the desire to teach and the desire to just kick back and be happy with the attainment.
• My moment to moment experience is constantly nodding to the "Trimurti".  I'm witnessing the creation, maintenance, and destruction of the universe so intensely it is hard to keep my job at times. 
• Talking incessantly about my attainment is the only thing I can do to make myself feel like a functioning human being.  I understand how guru types seem like they are full of it, because they are stuck on wanting to teach and that is preventing them from fully blissing out.  Going into the nothingness, you awaken to the moment to moment choice to be the doer.  Currently "I" am choosing to construct an I, so that I may be the doer
• Right action as far as I'm concerned is flowing like water.  The only thing I am forcing now is opening my mouth to talk or type
• People I used to not get along with at work are all good friends.  I said nothing to them and as soon as our eyes met all conflict was resolved.  Months and months of ill feelings evaporated on both ends.
• I'm creating false memories.  Consensus reality is half gone to me.  I'm picking things up in stores and forgetting to pay for them because I created a false memory of standing in line, handing them the money, etc etc
• My magical ability is higher than ever, but speaking of it at all kills it completely.  It takes about a day to recover after I mention it.  The specifics aren't important but basically, the only thing I don't have control over yet is the ability to transcend time and space.  If anyone has any heady philosophy that can get me there I'm open to hearing it.
• All of the people that know me well knew that I was this way all along, even non spiritually inclined friends

Pretty sure there is more that will come to me once people start commenting and asking questions but those are the things I can remember right now. 

 

 

Maybe consider ignoring everything in between these lines, because while it lead me to awakening, it isn't necessary for it:

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[Also, at one last ditch effort to be the teacher/doer, I have discovered a physical system of yoga that makes all of hatha yoga obsolete.  You just learn how to walk correctly with every muscle of the body and they are all maintained without the need for practice or exercise.  The main point is to immobilize the spine to end mind noise, and in using every muscle to accomplish this goal, you experience the body as One.  This is how human beings are inherently meant to walk and I have searched for a year trying to find someone even hinting at this knowledge and found no one.  If you want to learn this from me, shoot me a PM.]

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

After I answer questions and potentially teach my system of movement to someone on here, I intend to just kick back and enjoy life.  I will give up teaching and write no books.  I will cease from telling anyone about how I see and feel.  I will drop out of the spiritual community and just work on the commune I have started.

 

Thanks for reading everyone, and for all the guidance

 

Flo

[qicat]

wow, beautiful tango of polarities...

 

thanks for sharing

 

p.s. I suggest not to go to the stores. Use google express/amazon to avoid issues with shoplifting. 

[silent thunder]

deep gratitude you decided to share...

thanks mate... that resonates on many levels.

[wstein]

Woah boy.  Okay.  I debated whether or not to post this here.  I weighed the positive and the negative potentials and decided to just go for it.

 

So, as far as I can tell, I've done it.  Pretty much anything I have ever read about freedom being like, I now experience it on a constant basis.

 

First, I want to applaud your willingness to own your experience in public.

 

Sounds like a really major breakthrough.

It is clear that not all the implications have become apparent to you.

 

Some unsolicited comments:

-bliss is mostly a dead end, not a part of continued spiritual development

-the compulsion to be a teacher is an indication of not fully 'being'

-there is no need to continue as a human being, to remain in the manifest part of reality you only need be functional

-you might look into miracles, this is how those acting directly from their inner divine appear in this world.

[Jonesboy]

First, I want to applaud your willingness to own your experience in public.

 

Sounds like a really major breakthrough.

It is clear that not all the implications have become apparent to you.

 

Some unsolicited comments:

-bliss is mostly a dead end, not a part of continued spiritual development

-the compulsion to be a teacher is an indication of not fully 'being'

-there is no need to continue as a human being, to remain in the manifest part of reality you only need be functional

-you might look into miracles, this is how those acting directly from their inner divine appear in this world.

Hi Wstein

 

As far as I know bliss is a part of ones divine nature and far from a dead end.

 

The compulsion to teach is another form of bodhichitta and is no way an indication of not fully being. Not all beings are called to teach, but there is nothing wrong with teaching.

[gendao]

Woah boy.  Okay.  I debated whether or not to post this here.  I weighed the positive and the negative potentials and decided to just go for it.

 

So, as far as I can tell, I've done it.  Pretty much anything I have ever read about freedom being like, I now experience it on a constant basis.

 

I could put it into a nice flowery story, but I have always been partial to a good bullet list.  Here is said list, a collection of things I now experience.

• I now fully recognize and visually see that the world around me, including my ego, is an illusion.  A picture.
• Consciousness in my perception, arises spontaneously and is neither divine nor mundane
• I [?] have been to the place of non perception.  The total emptiness where I didn't even perceive going there until I got out and realized it was terrifying and I'd rather not die.  I can slip into this at any moment, with barely any meditative effort.  I find it difficult to want to sleep because it feels so similar to dying.  In and out of this place, consciousness feels like a slider where existence has to construct the idea of consciousness and you are half conscious as you crawl your way out of the singularity, painstakingly.  When "I" go here and eventually come out, I am usually greeted by whomever I am around shaking me and the realization I have stopped breathing and was beginning to suffocate.
• I frequently now have non dual experience and can go into my idea of samadhi whenever I choose.  I sometimes find it difficult to differentiate between my hand and an object I am holding.  Since the awakening I have been throwing knives in this state with laser like accuracy even though I wasn't even close to being an expert.
• I understand and experience the spontaneous arising of compassion.  This is huge for me because I have always been a sociopathic sadist.  Seeing everything as illusion experientially has lead me to strong feelings of just wanting to see a happy picture in front of my material face.  I want nothing more than to make people smile and feel love
• I have dropped all need to be insertive/assertive.  Recognizing the other as myself I no longer wish to attack because I don't believe in the attacker, the attacked, or the attack.  However, I fluctuate between the desire to teach and the desire to just kick back and be happy with the attainment.
• My moment to moment experience is constantly nodding to the "Trimurti".  I'm witnessing the creation, maintenance, and destruction of the universe so intensely it is hard to keep my job at times. 
• Talking incessantly about my attainment is the only thing I can do to make myself feel like a functioning human being.  I understand how guru types seem like they are full of it, because they are stuck on wanting to teach and that is preventing them from fully blissing out.  Going into the nothingness, you awaken to the moment to moment choice to be the doer.  Currently "I" am choosing to construct an I, so that I may be the doer
• Right action as far as I'm concerned is flowing like water.  The only thing I am forcing now is opening my mouth to talk or type
• People I used to not get along with at work are all good friends.  I said nothing to them and as soon as our eyes met all conflict was resolved.  Months and months of ill feelings evaporated on both ends.
• I'm creating false memories.  Consensus reality is half gone to me.  I'm picking things up in stores and forgetting to pay for them because I created a false memory of standing in line, handing them the money, etc etc
• My magical ability is higher than ever, but speaking of it at all kills it completely.  It takes about a day to recover after I mention it.  The specifics aren't important but basically, the only thing I don't have control over yet is the ability to transcend time and space.  If anyone has any heady philosophy that can get me there I'm open to hearing it.
• All of the people that know me well knew that I was this way all along, even non spiritually inclined friends

Pretty sure there is more that will come to me once people start commenting and asking questions but those are the things I can remember right now. 

 

 

Maybe consider ignoring everything in between these lines, because while it lead me to awakening, it isn't necessary for it:

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

[Also, at one last ditch effort to be the teacher/doer, I have discovered a physical system of yoga that makes all of hatha yoga obsolete.  You just learn how to walk correctly with every muscle of the body and they are all maintained without the need for practice or exercise.  The main point is to immobilize the spine to end mind noise, and in using every muscle to accomplish this goal, you experience the body as One.  This is how human beings are inherently meant to walk and I have searched for a year trying to find someone even hinting at this knowledge and found no one.  If you want to learn this from me, shoot me a PM.]

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

After I answer questions and potentially teach my system of movement to someone on here, I intend to just kick back and enjoy life.  I will give up teaching and write no books.  I will cease from telling anyone about how I see and feel.  I will drop out of the spiritual community and just work on the commune I have started.

 

Thanks for reading everyone, and for all the guidance

 

Flo

Sounds authentic.  Has the drunken, yet sobering "tang" of truth.  Correlates the ancient traditional descriptions, but with some added personal twists in a modern context that aren't simply cut & pasted...  Very awesome!

 

Did anything happen that precipitated or initiated this experience?  Any practices or processes that gradually led to this point?  What was the final tipping point or breakthrough like, if there was one?

Edited May 12, 2017 by gendao

[words]

Flolflolil, who debated about posting or not? and who's having this new experience of reality?

Edited May 12, 2017 by words

[wstein]

The compulsion to teach is another form of bodhichitta and is no way an indication of not fully being.

 

I see compulsion in the category of not being present. In compulsion, one is driven to action by something that is not part of self. Its not much different than acting out of habit.

 

Not all beings are called to teach, but there is nothing wrong with teaching.

 

I don't have a big dispute about teaching though I think providing lessons is far more effective.

 

I totally agree that not all beings are called to teach. The push to teach what you know is largely a misunderstanding of what it means that we are all connected or all one.

 

As far as I know bliss is a part of ones divine nature and far from a dead end.

 

As far as I know bliss is a state or an experience, not part of one's nature.

 

[Flolfolil]

Just relax away the need to debate self/no self.  The experience of having a self arises spontaneously from the reality of no self.  "I" just don't want to alter my typing to include stuff like "there is a spontaneous desire arising that feels like the need to teach in this non self's perception".  This age-old argument is holding you [me] back.

 

It's really easier to identify with the ego when trying to communicate with other people.  Yes, I slip back into ego identification occasionally.  Hell, most of the day I straight up abide in it.  Abiding in ego consciousness does not change the fundamental reality of no self.

 

No attacker, no attacked, no attack.  The ego is a tool.  There is no wielder.  Ego consciousness is a part of the One just like everything else.  You cannot possibly be out of oneness no matter how flawed you think your views are, no matter how flawed others think your views are, no matter if you do actions that are good or evil etc etc etc etc

[roger]

Just relax away the need to debate self/no self.  The experience of having a self arises spontaneously from the reality of no self.  "I" just don't want to alter my typing to include stuff like "there is a spontaneous desire arising that feels like the need to teach in this non self's perception".  This age-old argument is holding you [me] back.

 

It's really easier to identify with the ego when trying to communicate with other people.  Yes, I slip back into ego identification occasionally.  Hell, most of the day I straight up abide in it.  Abiding in ego consciousness does not change the fundamental reality of no self.

 

No attacker, no attacked, no attack.  The ego is a tool.  There is no wielder.  Ego consciousness is a part of the One just like everything else.  You cannot possibly be out of oneness no matter how flawed you think your views are, no matter how flawed others think your views are, no matter if you do actions that are good or evil etc etc etc etc

 

That's very wise imo.

 

And congratulations on your breakthrough.

[allinone]

Aggregates and jhanas are one and the same. 5th is consciousness is objectless jhana. Awareness is objectless but it doesn't stand on its own, it is dependent on world, since it comes from there, so if your object disappears then also your awareness so as long you have awareness you need to work with it so that it will descend three types of sensations and then goes out to the world, to complete a full circle.

 

there is three types of sensations before you enter the world. The awareness we come aware is the point you can decide start save some karma and that karma will be the cause of appearing in world. Once it is in world you will be feeling suffering of daily activities or things you must do, all sorts of bad things crop up and how well or fast you deal with them is how fast you discover the medicine, that medicine is with you.

 

Whatever its the earth circle and all beings on it adjust with the changes. Earth itself destroyes, completes your threekaya so you will start fresh again.

 

I think you start over again with not much different karma you always have had.

[nickyro]

Hey Flolfolil,

Hearing your account, I have trouble to decide whether or not your experience is  desirable.

Do you prefer your life right now?

The elements I find negative is the realization of the "Illusion", this is so depressing.

And also the "magical abilities / false memories", how far is this from a mental disability?

 

Do you recommend this path?

Edited May 17, 2017 by nickyro

[C T]

How it unfolded, and will continue to unfold is unique to the individual. 

It is what it is - the fruits of realisation have so many flavours, which is what makes it so profoundly delicious. As observers, all we can hope for is to learn of others' experiences, ideally with an open mind and heart. 

 

We love making comparisons, and in comparing, there is an immediate appeal to return to the intellect. The intellect, being limited in its scope, naturally, can only comprehend the enlightening experience to a certain point, never beyond, before it seeks some sort of validation as to its own supremacy, albeit in vain, much like a dog chasing its own tail. 

 

First everything appears real, then it all seems dream-like, then finally, with the utmost clarity, one simultaneously sees both in all and nothing. 

 

 

Edited May 17, 2017 by C T

[rene]

On 05/12/2017 at 10:44 PM, Flolfolil said:

...The experience of having a self arises spontaneously from the reality of no self. 

...

Abiding in ego consciousness does not change the fundamental reality of no self.

...

You cannot possibly be out of oneness no matter how flawed you think your views are, no matter how flawed others think your views are, no matter if you do actions that are good or evil etc etc etc etc

 

welcome to "Both, same time".

 

Nice to see you again (-: