A tale of two coaches...

[silent thunder]

two coaches.

two little league teams.

one championship game.

*****************************

Coach Blue:  It's a game.  Games should be fun.  That's the point of playing.  If we are not enjoying ourselves why bother playing at all?  So we play to enjoy ourselves, the score is irrelevant.  We practice in order to learn about teamwork and that effort leads to improvement.  I love these kids and so I challenge them some...  I want them to learn that when you invest your effort into something, you will see rewards from that.  Winning and losing is not the point with me, everyone plays in the game, regardless of the score, or their ability.

What matters is having fun and working well together, if we do this, then we honor the game and we win, no matter the score.  Why obsess over winning and losing and the score?  It's just a game, there is always another game.  To focus on winning takes away from the game.  We should have fun.

Coach Orange:  It's a game.  The point of a game is to win it, otherwise why play the game?  Why keep score at all and not just go do something else?  We play to win the game, that's the point.  We practice to get better as a team, to improve.   I love these kids and I challenge them.  I want them to learn that effort and discipline will make you the best you can be, that if you put in the effort to be your best, you will improve and help the team win.

What matters is that we always do our best and work well as a team in order to win.  By doing our best we honor the game... so our best players play in the game so the whole team has the best chance of success.  I mean why would anyone play if not to win?  It takes away from the game.

 

play to win?  play for fun?

which coach is right?

which team wins?

[liminal_luke]

Some bums probably remember the experience of being picked last as the member of a team in physical education class.  I know I do. Two students would randomly be assigned as team captains; that meant they got to choose their teams.  First one would choose and then the other until the teams were decided.  Naturally, the captains picked the best players first.  The point is to win, right?  Well, let´s just say I was never the best player.

I remember one afternoon in eighth grade when I was captain of that day´s softball team.  I don´t know what got into me but I decided to turn everything on it´s head: I picked the very worst players first and put them in the most important positions.  Our one good player was way out on the field, while the class nerd was playing first base.  Now that was an interesting game.

So yeah, in the scenario Silent Thunder proposes my heart has always gone with Team BLUE:  I don´t generally put much stock in winning.  That´s too bad for me, maybe, because we live in a pretty ORANGE world.  People tell me a "results matter" attitude is part of being an adult.  Politicians can´t tell their constituents that they didn´t get the bill passed but had a lot of fun trying.  You don´t tell your boss that you lost the contract but really enjoyed smoozing with the client over that fancy expense account dinner. If you want to keep your job you gotta win: It´s all about the money, honey.

I think I´ll always lean BLUE, but perhaps there´s room for a little ORANGE sometimes too.  Perhaps it´s like Yin and Yang.  Which one´s better?  All good Daoists know you can´t have one without the other -- that´s kind of the point. A hardcore rigid position in either camp can mess a person up.  Better to recognize that different situations call for different attitudes and go with the flow. 

Edited May 16, 2017 by liminal_luke

[cold]

Never played nor coached team sports as I had no interest. (At least since middle school and that was a long time ago.) 

 Never would join a group whom would allow the likes of me to join.

 I am considered pretty competitive but really prefer a win and win ending, one were everyone is participating to the best of their abilities, learning new skills and having some fun. Moving forward to a shared desirable result.

In my book it is all fun until somebody gets hurt, and the team whom has the most fun wins!

[Brian]

Depends on what's at stake.

Kids learning sportsmanship? Amateur bowling league? Friendly poker game?  Yep, Team BLUE all day long!

Family depending on you to put food on the table?  That's suddenly a different matter.

I was talking recently to a professional bull rider who had just given it up.  He explained that the rodeo circuit used to be lots of fun but now it is heavily populated my Central and South Americans who are struggling to support their families with their winnings.  This guy said it wasn't so much fun in part because it had suddenly gotten very serious but also in part because it ate at him to know that it was a side job for him but a life-and-death struggle for many of his competition.

Personally, I think there is value in learning how to give 100% -- how to try as hard as you can.  I think it is important to learn how to be a good loser and a good winner because there is grace in both.  I think it is also important to learn the value of not competing.

 

 

 

[AussieTrees]

15 minutes ago, cold said:

Never played nor coached team sports as I had no interest. (At least since middle school and that was a long time ago.) 

 Never would join a group whom would allow the likes of me to join.

 I am considered pretty competitive but really prefer a win and win ending, one were everyone is participating to the best of their abilities, learning new skills and having some fun. Moving forward to a shared desirable result.

In my book it is all fun until somebody gets hurt, and the team whom has the most fun wins!

You have chosen well as captain coach of The Game of Family,leaving nothing left for other games gives focus.

getting hurt is part of the game,which adds challenge,so we learn to 'dig deep'within ourselves and offer encouraging understanding,and still more to learn after when the neighbor 'has the ball'retrieving it from his brocken window.

[cold]

Yup, lots to learn with the broken window, or playful dog who runs off with the ball...

[liminal_luke]

38 minutes ago, Brian said:

Depends on what's at stake.

Well said.

I think it also depends on the phase of the process.  Let´s say I´m doing something creative like crafting a Daobums post.  In the beginning it´s more of a BLUE thing; I put aside my critical "right brain" for the time being and allow in a dreamy creative quality.  Too much emphasis on getting things right (ie winning) in the beginning can stifle the imagination.  Towards the end of a project my ORANGE side kicks in.  If it´s a TaoBums post, I´ll read it aloud.  Do the words make sense?  Does it flow OK?  Is that really how you spell analytical?  Because in the end I don´t just want to have fun here, I want to actually communicate.  If I write something that makes someone else think, to me that´s winning.

(And yes, I realize I spend way too much time thinking about this.)  

Edited May 16, 2017 by liminal_luke

[Brian]

9 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

Well said.

I think it also depends on the phase of the process.  Let´s say I´m doing something creative like crafting a Daobums post.  In the beginning it´s more of a BLUE thing; I put aside my critical "right brain" for the time being and allow in a dreamy creative quality.  Too much emphasis on getting things right (ie winning) in the beginning can stifle the imagination.  Towards the end of a project my ORANGE side kicks in.  If it´s a TaoBums post, I´ll read it aloud.  Do the words make sense?  Does it flow OK?  Is that really how you spell analytical?  Because in the end I don´t just want to have fun here, I want to actually communicate.  If I write something that makes someone else think, to me that´s winning.

(And yes, I realize I spend way too much time thinking about this.)  

Well, I think it is one of those topics which is simultaneously very simple and very complex (most things worth thinking about are...)

[silent thunder]

it's thoroughly humbling to be able to converse freely with such minds and hearts as come to share here.

 

really this place is incredible.

Edited May 16, 2017 by silent thunder