allinone Posted June 27, 2017 Pure alien is scary and frightening. Stay away from sensual huggers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cold Posted June 27, 2017 Just now, allinone said: Pure alien is scary and frightening. Stay away from sensual huggers. Space invaders? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allinone Posted June 27, 2017 27 minutes ago, cold said: Space invaders? its a meme? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cold Posted June 27, 2017 A space invader is someone who gets to close for comfort, one who has penetrated our unique individual private spatial area. Our "space" and comfort with others in it depend upon our familiarity and comfort in and with the person invading as well the environment where such invasion occurs. So an unsolicited / unexpected hug from some one unfamiliar could well be both "scary and frightening". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted June 27, 2017 Hug a tree. You won't get any negative feedback. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fa Xin Posted June 27, 2017 2 minutes ago, Marblehead said: Hug a tree. You won't get any negative feedback. Unless there's some sort of thorns or poison ivy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted June 27, 2017 2 minutes ago, Fa Xin said: Unless there's some sort of thorns or poison ivy Hehehe. I considered that before making the post but caution went to the winds. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted June 27, 2017 (edited) 3 hours ago, cold said: A space invader is someone who gets to close for comfort, one who has penetrated our unique individual private spatial area. Our "space" and comfort with others in it depend upon our familiarity and comfort in and with the person invading as well the environment where such invasion occurs. So an unsolicited / unexpected hug from some one unfamiliar could well be both "scary and frightening". Ma'ai - 間合い A 'friend' decided to hide in some bushes near the local hotel and 'hug ' me ( 'jump me' ) as I passed to 'see what I would do ' . It was him that ended up ' both scared and frightened. ' ... as I saw him duck in there and wait for me Maai is all important .... teacher taught ; " First block . " ... and to demonstrate he would just take a step back or to the side . ( 2nd block was another step back, hands in defensive position and " No, no , no fight ! " .... 3rd, block ... was a little 'less friendly' ) But 'jumping someone' may restrict one's ability for 'politeness' . Edited June 27, 2017 by Nungali 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allinone Posted June 28, 2017 15 hours ago, Marblehead said: Hug a tree. You won't get any negative feedback. good example because, i read your comment then see it in my minds eye, then i think what position my hands are and how it is related to opening to receive or letting the guards down, then i get the sensation. the sensation is the main thing i need to get out of it. That sensation i cultivate and joy arises and other qualities. If that is dissolved then i can move on. So i find a situation what will be meet with aversion, my mind goes to hide away, but i see it, i bring it back and just do it together till good feelings arise. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allinone Posted June 28, 2017 18 hours ago, allinone said: Pure alien is scary and frightening. Stay away from sensual huggers. i use the same slogan type like roger used in other thread, i complained about it and now i feel bad feeling. But knowing the mechanics i feel pleasant feelings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted June 28, 2017 Being from the Midwest I am not a hugger, except for my own family. I'm trying to change that a bit though. Not so much to initiate but get more comfortable hugging others, not be reluctant to hug better.. that little melt in the middle. Got lots of practice at Burning Man. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allinone Posted June 28, 2017 Second skandha is feeling. Third skandha is perception. i don't aspire to get good at hugging. I mean that when you cultivate then you get aversion, like you are inside a room alone and then afraid to socialize for a while. ------- And the persons you "look up" respect, you are uncomfortable and try to avoid make mistakes and can't relax. So i doubt you going to hug them... Just go meet with higher class of people. Amongst your kind yes you can be the daredevil and talk-active and showman. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted June 28, 2017 Allinone:"Second skandha is feeling. Third skandha is perception. i don't aspire to get good at hugging. I mean that when you cultivate then you get aversion, like you are inside a room alone and then afraid to socialize for a while." I probably felt some of that for years. My early training had a strong Japanese centered aspiration to it. Which tended towards formal, stiff.. As I've grown older, I've become more.. myself. Informal, less stiff, open, instead of chasing an ideal, coming back to my natural self. I'm less afraid to socialize, or to be alone, or look ridiculous or have fun. Thus I aspire to open my heart more. Hugs seem like an ideal practice in that regard. an open heart is a vulnerable one. there is risk; it takes either innocence or a daredevil, and I am not innocent. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites