Defusing a thread with humor

[cheya]

Noticing a trend that is simultaneously funny and sad.

Seems like a wave of troll-type entries in threads, which are met with humor by some of my very favorite posters (you know who you are! ) And of course I laugh too.

 

But then I wonder about the way these strings of funny comments also derail and dilute the thread, and how the original poster must feel about what has happened to their thread. Makes me sad. 

 

Curious what others think/feel about this. Has it happened to a thread you're serious/sincere about?

 

[Brian]

Yes, it has -- and it has caused me to reevaluate my motivation in creating the thread, my assumptions/beliefs/attachments associated with the topic, and to examine my own reaction to the derailing.  On occasion, it has made me angry (well, as angry as I get -- my emotional spectrum is a bit subdued) and that leads to laughter as I realize how silly I've been.  For me, it serves as a gentle nudge from friends when I take myself too seriously.

[silent thunder]

Humor is potent.  I have witnessed Masters wield it to immensely great effect in my experience.  Or, when unskilled, they cut themselves and others clumsily.  And then, no matter how skillfully it is used, how it lays down to those involved is always up to the interpretation of everyone involved.

 

Intent seems so much more important to me the more I continue as this being. 

Intent is the hinge pin for me. 

 

Skillful use of humor can ease the sting of derisive comments, painful realizations and hurtful intent in a conversation/situation, de-escalating and acting as a carrier interrupt signal that gives those involved a brief pause in the flow of a situation.  This pause can initiate a shift out of hurtful and back into the productive.

 

Or it can be wielded like a weapon to cause discomfort and pain. 

 

Or it can be frivolous and meaningless and chaotic.

 

or ______________________________________.

or ______________________________________.

or ______________________________________.

 

As with anything, it's up to each of us, how we respond, how we accept, and perhaps most importantly how we interpret whatever we encounter in our awareness.

[dwai]

I'd rather people enjoy anything I posted with humor rather than read inanities by trolls

[Apech]

I regard all DBs threads as like real world conversations which may naturally diverge from the original topic, involve humour, also serious debate, go round the houses and back again, hopefully all good natured.  Sometimes topics get heated and very long winded where people are desperate to prove they are right about something - the occasional cat pic etc. is a welcome diversion from posts littered with links and very large font and so on.  I like humour but if anything I have posted has caused legitimate hurt please contact me and I will delete or edit with pleasure. 

[doc benway]

I thoroughly enjoy humor, especially in tense or contentious situations.

In most cases it's a welcome relief.

In some cases it can appear trite or unnecessary, but I recognize that's only my reaction to it.

Others may find the same post hilarious.

If I find myself reacting negatively to something humorous, that's a red flag that I need to look inside and see what is causing so much reactivity and seriousness in me. 

 

One of the benefits of participating in this forum is that it allows me to look at myself more deeply based on how I respond to others. I try to ask myself questions like - why am I posting this? What role is my ego playing?

Why can't I let go even if the other party can't or won't see me point? And so on...

It really has been helpful to work on this over the years and for that I'm appreciative of all of you.

 

 

[silent thunder]

One of my markers for my process is based on laughter.

 

Wherever, whatever I encounter in my life, where I consider I am not permitted to laugh... here is my work.

[cheya]

So seems a couple different issues here, which I am glad to be included, but which I hadn't originally intended. So I will clarify a bit what I'm talking about.

 

Now if a troll starts a thread, I have no concerns about the funny reactions to, or outcome of, that thread. All good.

 

What I was considering is a serious thread, started by someone in the general discussion area, where the OP has no control over the thread. The thread gets trolled by someone else, at which point some people chime in with very funny comments, which serve as distractions or detractions from the troll's comments.... and I often literally cheer when this happens! A few members here are particularly adept at this maneuver... and I totally appreciate it, especially in the absence of any other way to deal with it, barring warnings from mods.

 

Sometimes, though, the line of humor lifts off on its own and goes on, even for pages... leaving the original intent of a serious thread in the dust. That makes me sad for the OP. They weren't "asking for it", they wanted to discuss something, and it just happened to push some troll's buttons.  Once in awhile someone does jump back in with an on-topic post, which I really appreciate... but often the original thread is just destroyed. Yeah, it's funny. Sometimes, often even, hysterically so!  But is it how we really want the board to go in this case?  Couldn't we keep track of the troll-trolling and self limit to support the OP? Or maybe it's not useful to get so attached to actually having a discussion... and to supporting each other in having that happen.

 

More comments totally welcome! 

 

[Brian]

32 minutes ago, cheya said:

So seems a couple different issues here, which I am glad to be included, but which I hadn't originally intended. So I will clarify a bit what I'm talking about.

 

Now if a troll starts a thread, I have no concerns about the funny reactions to, or outcome of, that thread. All good.

 

What I was considering is a serious thread, started by someone in the general discussion area, where the OP has no control over the thread. The thread gets trolled by someone else, at which point some people chime in with very funny comments, which serve as distractions or detractions from the troll's comments.... and I often literally cheer when this happens! A few members here are particularly adept at this maneuver... and I totally appreciate it, especially in the absence of any other way to deal with it, barring warnings from mods.

 

Sometimes, though, the line of humor lifts off on its own and goes on, even for pages... leaving the original intent of a serious thread in the dust. That makes me sad for the OP. They weren't "asking for it", they wanted to discuss something, and it just happened to push some troll's buttons.  Once in awhile someone does jump back in with an on-topic post, which I really appreciate... but often the original thread is just destroyed. Yeah, it's funny. Sometimes, often even, hysterically so!  But is it how we really want the board to go in this case?  Couldn't we keep track of the troll-trolling and self limit to support the OP? Or maybe it's not useful to get so attached to actually having a discussion... and to supporting each other in having that happen.

 

More comments totally welcome! 

 

Sometimes a member will intentionally steer a runaway thread back to the original topic or sometimes a Moderator will split a thread to divert the off-topic stream into its own channel.  Either approach can be helpful but thes generally come after the fact and sometimes (especially if the OP "ain't from around here") this chaotic out-of-control response from the community can have an unintended stifling and discouraging effect.  I think we (including the "royal we") are well advised to bear this in mind.

Edited July 13, 2017 by Brian
clarification

[Marblehead]

I stand accused of injecting humor into some threads and unintentionally trolling a thread and accept full responsibility for each and every one of my posts.

 

I do understand the thought here but really, we are not in a formal classroom setting here.  This is casual conversation.  When we are talking with friends our thoughts go here and there all the time.

 

And whenever I see a thread getting emotional I will almost always post something.  Humor if appropriate.

 

[Nungali]

A prostitute,  a nun, a Rabbi  and the Pope are in a lifeboat   .....  

[qicat]

[cheya]

Hmmm.

Seems like some folks feel the need to defuse this thread with humor.... 

[Brian]

 

[Kar3n]

I am not sure if you're speaking of the general discussion area specifically or just as an example. However, in the case of the former, it was explained to me that general discussion is a more relaxed area of the forum where the conversation is "allowed" to veer off from the OP and many times it comes back on topic. When we had owner permissions, in the beginning, general was included, but for the reasons stated above and some push back by members it was removed from that area and the more serious threads were encouraged to take place in the sub-forums (Daoism and Buddhism) or PPDs. Now that owner permissions no longer apply to the forums, we have stewards who monitor the sub forums to see that threads are kept on topic, clear of trolling and spam.

 

With that expaination in mind, I think of general like being at a party where the conversation is free-flowing and the sub forums and PPDs like being in a meeting where interjection should be well thought out and contribuatory to the subject matter.

 

The OP of any thread is welcomed to seek mod intervention if they feel their topic has gone too far off course. We are always happy to help, and one of the main reason we are formally called Concierges and not Moderators.

 

[Brian]

I have a theory...

[cold]

18 hours ago, cheya said:

So seems a couple different issues here, which I am glad to be included, but which I hadn't originally intended. So I will clarify a bit what I'm talking about.

 

Now if a troll starts a thread, I have no concerns about the funny reactions to, or outcome of, that thread. All good.

 

What I was considering is a serious thread, started by someone in the general discussion area, where the OP has no control over the thread. The thread gets trolled by someone else, at which point some people chime in with very funny comments, which serve as distractions or detractions from the troll's comments.... and I often literally cheer when this happens! A few members here are particularly adept at this maneuver... and I totally appreciate it, especially in the absence of any other way to deal with it, barring warnings from mods.

 

Sometimes, though, the line of humor lifts off on its own and goes on, even for pages... leaving the original intent of a serious thread in the dust. That makes me sad for the OP. They weren't "asking for it", they wanted to discuss something, and it just happened to push some troll's buttons.  Once in awhile someone does jump back in with an on-topic post, which I really appreciate... but often the original thread is just destroyed. Yeah, it's funny. Sometimes, often even, hysterically so!  But is it how we really want the board to go in this case?  Couldn't we keep track of the troll-trolling and self limit to support the OP? Or maybe it's not useful to get so attached to actually having a discussion... and to supporting each other in having that happen.

 

More comments totally welcome! 

 

 

19 hours ago, Apech said:

I regard all DBs threads as like real world conversations which may naturally diverge from the original topic, involve humour, also serious debate, go round the houses and back again, hopefully all good natured.  Sometimes topics get heated and very long winded where people are desperate to prove they are right about something - the occasional cat pic etc. is a welcome diversion from posts littered with links and very large font and so on.  I like humour but if anything I have posted has caused legitimate hurt please contact me and I will delete or edit with pleasure. 

 

17 hours ago, Marblehead said:

I stand accused of injecting humor into some threads and unintentionally trolling a thread and accept full responsibility for each and every one of my posts.

 

I do understand the thought here but really, we are not in a formal classroom setting here.  This is casual conversation.  When we are talking with friends our thoughts go here and there all the time.

 

And whenever I see a thread getting emotional I will almost always post something.  Humor if appropriate.

 

 

 

Personally I enjoy the humor, and many of my posts may or may not be found funny or pertinent to the OP.

 

And as Apech and Marblehead pointed out this is more like real world conversations and not so much a formal classroom setting.

 

That being said I too accept full responsibility for each and every one of my posts, and if anything I have posted has caused legitimate hurt please contact me and I will delete or edit.

[Brian]

The devil made me do it!

[Marblehead]

1 hour ago, Brian said:

I have a theory...

So did Himmler.

 

[thelerner]

Sometimes adding humor helps when a thread gets too negative or filled with circular arguments.  Often though it goes too far, with witticisms going on for a page or more, totally off subject.  Knocking out the flow of serious posters. 

 

It helps if the OP writer steps in and asks the 'humorists' to please keep the thread ontrack.  No guarantee, but that often works.  People have even restarted the threads asking for more focus and only serious replies, sometimes in PPD's where they can hide or delete posts that are off subject.

 

 

[Brian]

1 hour ago, Marblehead said:

So did Himmler.

 

Mine is more funny.

[Marblehead]

2 hours ago, Brian said:

Mine is more funny.

Great.  His wasn't funny.  Just sad.

 

[Aetherous]

I've always thought the back and forth humorous comments, which can go on for a page or maybe multiple pages between a few people, really dilute the threads...and mostly tend to be inside jokes which go way over my head (and I'm assuming others feel similarly sometimes), or are things that truly aren't funny. I skim over those types of comments, in favor of actual substance on the forum. The intent behind them feels like escapism or a kind of aversion, even sometimes a kind of malice toward those not 'in' on it, who are probably being discussed...rather than actual lightheartedness or something that genuinely inspires laughter. It's often just banter, but sometimes it feels cliquish.

But that's just me...I'm not here to stop anyone. I guess it gives the forum a personable vibe.

[Michael Sternbach]

Well, I generally appreciate the relaxed atmosphere on this forum. But yes, it has happened to me on one occasion that I felt bothered by an otherwise delightful thread being marred with silly jokes. And I mean, silly ones - reasonably intelligent jokes that tied in with the topic wouldn't have bothered me at all. But of course, it's quite to impossible to set any generally binding standards. Let's face it, truth is:

 

[neti neti]

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