Two Swords as "When Can I control my emotions?"

[Michael Sternbach]

Qicat,

 

I feel you need to heal some trauma before you are ready for forgiveness.

[Nungali]

9 hours ago, Brian said:

You don't need to start worrying until you begin losing arguments with yourself.

 

 

Ohhh   ...... shit  !      ' I '  lost arguments with 'myself'  long ago   

[Nungali]

8 hours ago, qicat said:

 

exactly...

 

okay, my experimentations with "Love and Kindness" obviously do not work the intended way... How about I just "heal the whole universe" instead? By definition, if something is a subset of a set, it will be impacted ( have properties) or it as well. Thus, as everybody is part of the universe, I can technically send "love and light" and not have to deal with him at the individual level... 

 

Bring the light into yourself  first .   Thats the 'first part of' dealing with the Universe .

[Nungali]

9 hours ago, Marblehead said:

When a man gets horny all the blood leaves the brain and goes to the penis.  If you are willing to put up with it you have to get him off and then the blood will return to the brain and you might be able to find out what he is really all about.

 

 

 

 

Pizza .... anyone want pizza ?  

 

Or , for Aussie men  ;

 

Spoiler

Why do Aussie men cum so quickly ? 

 

So they can rush down  to he  pub to tell their mates they had sex. 

 

[qicat]

48 minutes ago, Michael Sternbach said:

Qicat,

 

I feel you need to heal some trauma before you are ready for forgiveness.

 

that's encouraging... I was waiting for a big fat NO. ( like death or tower)... 

 

p.s. Don't get me wrong. I do a lot of work to do "true healing", it's just no fair I can't do fun stuff and have to do this first and things are going very shitty. Like today, after my attempt for "love and kindness" I got so depressed, like scary depressed, like suicadal depressed, so much crappy heavy energy, so much "heaviness", could not even sit for meditation ( I had to lay down) and I felt asleep because I was exhausted. And when I woke up, I could not see anything, my vision was so blurry, I could not even read text on my screen. I was like, "hm... maybe I need help ASAP", but then, since I am aware of my mental and energy states all the time, I know that the trigger was this event this morning. Only I am not sure if all this crap is mine, or I pulled it from the guy in my attempt for "love and kindness". He would not even know ( I assume) I get this crap. And then, when  I go as I was taught to "bring me more" ( i.e. if it gets painful enough, you just ask for more and "use water to distinguish the fire"), it disappears ( very weird depression...) I cannot get to root cause of it  (i.e. "mommy did not buy me a barbie" issues are simply not there)...

 

The guy did ( does?) some black magic stuff. Like "let's go to Vatican and open Hell gates" stuff. People who know him ( my Sifu does know him), told me ( too late) that there is so much darkness in this guy, it's not possible to help him.  Sifu tries to be neutral in this, but the guy had some ( black magic) runs with him as well ( way before me). I am a naive fluffy kitty and I believe in goodness in the world and deep deep inside there is a little hope that all this sh&t is my imagination, and the guy is actually a good guy.... But that's not what I am hearing from people who knew him way before me... I just don't like being used as tantra battery in those "esoteric daoist sexual practices"...I think it is a very fair request...anyways... where is my ninja outfit.... gotta go get some swords out... to turn it to wands....

 

[qicat]

Quote

Or was he stealing beauty, the essence of a woman’s pleasure, to store in his own chamber? There is a lot of lore of Daoist sexual yoga adepts, who live to be hundreds of years old by transforming the essence of semen into life energy. However, in the West there is far too much misunderstanding or misinformation about the reality of this practice and its relation to Daoism specifically. The most important distinction to make is between health practices of the at-home practitioner or common person versus the spiritual practices of alchemists and religious renunciants. For the true alchemists and renunciants of the Way and Virtue (Dao De), it is exactly sexual desire which is to be washed away through time and cultivation toward enlightenment. The theory of the sexual practice indicates that the more women the better; the more their ecstasy, the more energy for the man— and, it’s best if the woman is ignorant of her lover’s vampirism.

....

Sister, Tantra... it has been called— when it comes from the Hindu or Buddhist tradition. Though this has become an abusive name for what it is displayed as nowadays. Originally the Tantric tradition is a whole spiritual path dealing with the interconnectedness of everything in this universe and the transformation of energy toward absolute transcendence. It is said to be declined in three levels, or three colors: black for black magic, and all the practices using the sexual energy with evil intentions, such as vampirism or spell-casting; red for the practices involving the flesh and actual sexual intercourse with the intention of conserving energy or even higher spiritual goals; and white for the purely spiritual practices, sometimes involving two persons who would not even touch each other, or practiced by a single person. Mostly the shades of red are what we hear about. Anyone who wants to know about that can find books to read about it, and even people talking about it. Many technical books of those sexual practices are out there. It is said that the retention of semen for men and the focal point being on women is the main issue but in truth it is just a technical prerequisite. It is about merging two magnetic fields and circulating the energy between them until they are as one, then bringing it to transcendence, to absolute unity with all. That last point is the most difficult part, and I cannot really talk about it, or say for certain that it is possible, because I haven’t achieved it. It is extremely difficult, it is talking about enlightenment.

 

Personally I believe very few genuine spiritual teachers would be ready to teach anyone about that. Most would keep silent about it, unless they really recognize that it is one’s destiny. I am not even sure it is a valuable teaching in itself, and if we look at the traditions that include it, we might find that it is not considered as a true spiritual teaching that can bring one beyond the world of the red dust. You might encounter people pretending to be able to teach it. Don’t believe them too easily. My opinion is that the great majority of those, and especially if they are outspoken, are not truly able to lead you through that way. Probably they have walked the first steps and got stuck there, in their desire, and that will be as far as they will take you. As Li Shi Fu was telling us: “Of ten thousand people going down that path, only one will be able to make it.”

 

Don’t get lost in the “side doors.” Many got lost there— I know because I have seen some of them, and in the worst cases they were not even aware of how lost they were, and were trying to pull others to that place. I have been in that place and it is like being in hell— a constant intense suffering. But whatever happens one will have to walk back, all the way back, until one finds the Way again.

 

As Li Shi Fu told me when I got here and when I was sick again: “Just let it go. There is nothing in this life you can hold onto, not a situation or a person, nothing. Take your mind out of it, it belongs to the past now, now we will just deal with the consequences. Look at it just as a pair of shoes that you take off when you go to sleep; you don’t know if they will still be there for you to wear when you wake up. And if you can’t, then bow and pray, and ask the spirits to help you.”

 

Wei, Lindsey (2013-01-15). The Valley Spirit: A Female Story of Daoist Cultivation Second Edition (Kindle Locations 2645-2648). Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Kindle Edition. 

 

 

I know that everything that was happening to me was "way off" and nobody would believe me. For example, when I told yoga studio owner about  what this guy was doing ( he was teaching at her place), she told me not to come there. When I read Lindsey's book, it was very eye opening. As not only guy was doing things by "the book", but he was also trapped into that "crappy energy" which I could not handle. I understand lots of people are hang up on "physical sex" part of tantra, but from my personal experience I can say that it is possible to never have physical sex with the guy and still be used as an "energetic" object. Of course, one has to be highly trained in this. I bolded the things the guy I am talking about is doing. Sifu told me guy did it with multiple women and I should be greatfull I kind of got "easy" out. Mentally ( and humanly) I forgave him long time ago, but when I get to energy work and such, my dragons are so enraged. ( and as Starjumper can probably attest from his experience, I have no control over those creatures, they are pissed off and they want revenge)... 

 

...

and I know only 0.01% of people who read this will  understand what I am talking about. That "fairytales" and "myths" are not so much far from reality and some people do catch naive cats... oh well... lesson learned... all d*cks will be castrated on the spot ( unless you were given a secret password:p) 

 

Edited July 22, 2017 by qicat

[qicat]

hm...

I better go do something else... That's enough of digging in crap for the day...

 

[Anastasia]

You need better spiritual protection.

[Nungali]

8 hours ago, qicat said:

 

that's encouraging... I was waiting for a big fat NO. ( like death or tower)... 

 

p.s. Don't get me wrong. I do a lot of work to do "true healing", it's just no fair I can't do fun stuff and have to do this first and things are going very shitty. Like today, after my attempt for "love and kindness" I got so depressed, like scary depressed, like suicadal depressed, so much crappy heavy energy, so much "heaviness", could not even sit for meditation ( I had to lay down) and I felt asleep because I was exhausted. And when I woke up, I could not see anything, my vision was so blurry, I could not even read text on my screen. I was like, "hm... maybe I need help ASAP", but then, since I am aware of my mental and energy states all the time, I know that the trigger was this event this morning. Only I am not sure if all this crap is mine, or I pulled it from the guy in my attempt for "love and kindness". He would not even know ( I assume) I get this crap. And then, when  I go as I was taught to "bring me more" ( i.e. if it gets painful enough, you just ask for more and "use water to distinguish the fire"), it disappears ( very weird depression...) I cannot get to root cause of it  (i.e. "mommy did not buy me a barbie" issues are simply not there)...

 

The guy did ( does?) some black magic stuff. Like "let's go to Vatican and open Hell gates" stuff. People who know him ( my Sifu does know him), told me ( too late) that there is so much darkness in this guy, it's not possible to help him.  Sifu tries to be neutral in this, but the guy had some ( black magic) runs with him as well ( way before me). I am a naive fluffy kitty and I believe in goodness in the world and deep deep inside there is a little hope that all this sh&t is my imagination, and the guy is actually a good guy.... But that's not what I am hearing from people who knew him way before me... I just don't like being used as tantra battery in those "esoteric daoist sexual practices"...I think it is a very fair request...anyways... where is my ninja outfit.... gotta go get some swords out... to turn it to wands....

 

 

When it IS balanced , this is how I see you  ;

 

 

 

stable power  of the Queen of flames. 

 

The transitions to wands  you got was interesting .   I trained (taught a class) with 'wands'  (jo  staff ) this morning ... in  a park .  

 

" The work of the wand and the work of the sword, these he shall learn and teach "    

 

If you are going to invoke an elemental power, invoke all of them, for balance   ... IMO  

 

By the Lady of the Flame and the Lightning,
the Queen of the Spirits of Fire
By the Lord of the Waves and the Waters,
the King of the Hosts of the Sea,
The fairest of all of whose daughters was mother to me;
By the Lady of the Winds and the Breezes,
the Queen of the Spirits of Air,
In whose bosom the infinite ease is that cradled me there;
By the Lord of the Fields and the Mountains,
the King of the Spirits of Earth
That nurtured my life at his fountains
from the hour of my birth;
 By the Wand and the Cup I conjure;
 By the Sword and Disk I constrain;
 I am she that is sworn to endure;
 Make thy music again~!
...
 As the flame of the sun, 
as the roar of the sea,
 as the storm of the air,
 As the quake of the earth--
let it soar for a boon,
 for a bane, for a snare,
 For a lure, for a light, 
for a kiss, for a rod,
 for a scourge, for a sword-- 

.......    

 

Spoiler

 

 I was just loading the gun for you , its up to you what you do with it ......  < runs for cover  > 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Nungali]

6 hours ago, Anastasia said:

You need better spiritual protection.

 

Agreed , like I said , flood yourself with light - make a blue egg around you ...  shields  up  ! 

 

Often the first stage is 'separation and defense, 

 

The 2nd is 'opening ' and balancing each opposite or 'neutralising ' . 

 

Here is another important card for peeps involved in such 'adventures ;

 

 

Our 'sacred space'  balanced by the 4 elemental towers / powers, protected by a moat and regulated by a 'drawbridge . 

 

To stay in there and never come out, is not good, but one needs to know when    to come in and out   appropriate timing .

 

And who do let inside your sacred space , who to lower the drawbridge for or who to shut and seal out .  appropriate companions .

 

With those two you can have right lace .  Three things important in Sufi teaching ; right place right time right companions .

 

End up with an 'intruder'  ?   Time to 'take out the trash '    -  concentrate on flooding the self with light .. draw it in and expand it from your centre, harness the fire !  

 

 

t 

 

 

Edited July 22, 2017 by Nungali

[gendao]

17 hours ago, qicat said:

it does not matter, as Sifu says "until you sort it out,t here always be another one like that " ( I do have a talent to run into this kind of guys - don't even know how to call them? tantra maniacs? none of the usual boy-girl stuff... but lots of energy fighting...)

Illness arises from continually avoiding our greater fears with lesser ones.  Healing comes from the reverse path.

 

Your greater fear here is that of just living real, ordinary life.  Because that makes all your issues all the more tangible and literally "harder" to deal with.  Having real, healthy relationships with men, paying the bills, etc, etc.  So, you seek to spiritually escape that in a magical, fantasy world.  Trust me, when people start obsessively relying on Tarot cards for reassurance and guidance in life - it means their real life is a failfest!

 

Of course, the problem is that your issues still repeat themselves even in your fantasies...

 

So, your deep distrust/fear of men...reappears even in the dreamy astral realms of your imagination.

 

Because, there is no escape from your own mind.

 

In this case, for example, there is no escape from your distrust of men.  Fully accepting, feeling, allowing, and surrendering to that feeling (rather than constantly running away from it like a scared rabbit) first...would be the beginning of the process that would finally start to end that repeating cycle.

 

But until then...welcome to another exciting Groundhog Day!

Edited July 22, 2017 by gendao

[qicat]

37 minutes ago, gendao said:

Illness arises from continually avoiding our greater fears with lesser ones.  Healing comes from the reverse path.

 

Your greater fear here is that of just living real, ordinary life.  Because that makes all your issues all the more tangible and literally "harder" to deal with.  Having real, healthy relationships with men, paying the bills, etc, etc.  So, you seek to spiritually escape that in a magical, fantasy world.  Trust me, when people start obsessively relying on Tarot cards for reassurance and guidance in life - it means their real life is a failfest!

 

hm....Gendao, perhaps you are talking to yourself on this one. If you do not understand how cards work ( it's just a tool/gateway to your subconsciousness), perhaps you might get some tutoring around here. 

 

37 minutes ago, gendao said:

 

Of course, the problem is that your issues still repeat themselves even in your fantasies...

Fantasies? 

 

37 minutes ago, gendao said:

So, your deep distrust/fear of men...reappears even in the dreamy astral realms of your imagination.

Imagination?

 

37 minutes ago, gendao said:

Because, there is no escape from your own mind.

 

There are plenty escapes from Acquired Mind. You need to know the roads.

 

37 minutes ago, gendao said:

In this case, for example, there is no escape from your distrust of men.  Fully accepting, feeling, allowing, and surrendering to that feeling (rather than constantly running away from it like a scared rabbit) first...would be the beginning of the process that would finally start to end that repeating cycle.

 

You either brainwash ladies into dark sex stuff or you have no clue what the system allows them ( men) to do. It is easier to turn me into a victim ( and Sifu told me the moment I start playing victim it's over) from your limited worldview  vs. trying to understand what would woman who was a subject to "not so nice energy stuff" feel. You want me to deny those experiences and feelings, to link it to "real ordinary" world. But there is no place for those "taoist sexual practices" in your "real ordinary world"... just read this forum on semen retention... how crazy they ( males) get after some time... and as a girl I do "feel" all their frustration...part of the yin-yang system... and their brains ( because THEIR MIND is limited to their dick)  are generating what I call CRAP. Have you ever wondered how do you look energetically when your dick is "driving"? 

Quote

Fully accepting, feeling, allowing, and surrendering to that feeling

I don't eat that crap. I know some do, but I prefer my energy food be many grades of a higher vibration...If you always ate crap, you would never know about real food.

 

/************************/

meow...

 

perhaps it's time for you to ponder on this one:

Quote

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, 
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. 

 

[qicat]

@Nungali, thank you. I will sit with it. 

meow

[Nungali]

 

Arigatōgozaimashita  tora Redi 

[Boundlesscostfairy]

You will be in control of your emotions when you have felt and achieved a sense of peace.. which is a neutrality..so therefore from this calm and quiet abiding place you can learn to direct your emotions.. in a more responsible way..

 

Tao te ching 23 recommends that you understand the transient nature of emotions.. and instead of discard them find out how they are connected to the one root emotion which is love..

 

Or as a backward and lefthand path.. you can decide to embrace the dark side of the force so to speak..

 

Its up to you..!