Leaving the rat race for more cheaper, more graceful living.

[thelerner]

Qicat mentioned they were leaving California for North China.  I recently listened to a podcast of a woman who'd left New York City for small town Italy, and loved it.  A simpler life, no rushing, meeting friends in a cafe, daily after work.  Small gatherings around the TV.   Simple delicious food, 1/4 the expense.  It was an escape from a world of busy and competitiveness. 

 

Who of you have made similar trips?  What did you find? 

Hoping for stories of the good and bad. 

[Earl Grey]

That was me too. 

 

I initially repatriated to the US for university and work after living in Hong Kong and Manila for some years. By the time I got through the first year of grad school, I got fed up with North America and moved to Indonesia, which in turn led me to a host of countries from Cambodia to Timor-Leste to Sri Lanka and Thailand, and now back in Manila. 

 

What I enjoy the most is actually what I like about The Dao Bums that I find sorely lacking elsewhere: a sense of community.

 

It is a totally different thing to emigrate to a Third World Country than it is to go to London, New York, Singapore, or Hong Kong. The expats I meet in cities like those I have mentioned are part of one rat race or another.

 

The expats and other denizens I meet in Manila, Siem Reap, Jakarta, and Dili are those who enjoy a new pace, and there's a wonderful kind of connection that starts off with one thing in common: we are all here for a reason and aren't here to be part of the rat race. Even if they aren't doing NGO or other types of development work, there's a lot more humility, openness, grit, and empathy. Someone hears my voice and they're another denizen who either went to international school or worked in a few countries here and there and suddenly, we're hanging out a few days later and training, getting drinks, playing board and video games, and meeting each other's friends while exploring new ideas and possible collaborations. We're exchanging books in our libraries and taking a bus to another province so that we can explore together. 

 

I can't get that when I visit my friends in North America or Singapore, especially in Los Angeles or San Francisco. It's a lot of "Hey cool, I was a voluntourist in Thailand for spring break" which is actually false equivalence. It's a lot of pissing about who saw more sites and took more buses instead of flying or working in the same place for a long time and developing a connection to the community. My time in Sri Lanka was up north where civilians weren't allowed anywhere near, so I don't think of beaches or temples and tourist debauchery, and the friends I made were a range of people from Lithuanian youth pastors in a Christian church to middle-aged Australian professionals who speak Sinhalese and Tamil fluently and have a vinyl collection as well as a stack of 1970s paperbacks that they were happy to share with me and a range of different nationalities and generations over Sunday brunch and a little cricket (which I still don't know how to play). 

 

During the Snowden affair in 2013, while living in Siem Reap, Cambodia, at the Russian restaurant while watching the news, the French, American, English, Australian, and Russian patrons all looked and said, "I guess we all hate each other again" and laughed because we no longer had any special love or attachment to our passport countries nor did we discriminate based on nationality anymore.

 

If anything, we took jabs at each other for national stereotypes in jolly good fun, but our animosity was reserved for tourists who had no respect for this land, which was their Hangover Trip like Las Vegas, but to us? It was our home. 

Edited August 12, 2017 by Earl Grey

[Taomeow]

My college roommate and best friend who has lived all her adult life in a hi-rise in Moscow meets friends in an Italian cafe daily after work.  Moscow is every bit as hectic as New York, but many people still build their lives around friendships, close ties with other people, often maintained a lifetime.  For many it's still the main social value, although it's rapidly eroding. 

 

That's closer to the kind of life I've lived -- a combo of both worlds.  The hectic/busy/nonsensical rat race by day, a tribal gathering by night (plus weekends, vacations, holidays) around the sacred fire -- not necessarily physical -- with storytelling, laughter, tribal dances, a sense of belonging that is taken for granted until you discover that most of the modern world does not live like that and a sense of alienation prevails, and no one seems to have friends (only people to "spend time with" which makes it about the time to spend -- like a form of money, if you have it, you look to spend it  -- and about the activity, but not about people.)  

 

A classmate from the school I went to between the ages of 7 and 11 recently found me on Classmates.  She was never a friend, I barely remembered her name, and not much else, and she, likewise, barely remembered mine.  So to establish some inroads into memory, to place me in context, the first question she asked was, "Who were you friends with?" This was what gives a person tangible reality, existence. 

 

To be a ghost in a nice place where you go for a simple life or a ghost where you rush about a hectic life is the same to me.  Tangible real existence is tribal. 

 

Did that woman who moved to an Italian town succeed in belonging, or are those coffee/TV/food gatherings still a "spend time" thing for her?  I wonder...    

[Brian]

I've been to NYC, Chicago, Houston, Miami, Dallas, Boston, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Munich, Madrid and a few other big places and I'll take a town of 10,000 or fewer, please.  I currently live a fifteen minutes drive from the nearest town big enough to even have a post office and it suits me nicely.  No fiber, no cable, no rat race at all -- chipmunks, squirrels, groundhogs, rabbits, field mice, the occasional skunk but no rats...

[Hancock]

EG, reported me for putting a name in a post and not relating it in anyway to his online persona, then said it wAs because he's a private person...now he's giving his life history. So messed up.

 

Anyhow, I travelled to Philadelphia, New Jersey, Maryland, pretty much the whole east coast of the US til u reach Pennsylvania. Montana, Texas, Wyoming, Indiana, Puerto Rico. All to find someplace I felt comfortable. I felt the most comfortable in Philly, but couldn't make ends meet so I bought a car an ended up stranded til friends from the place I left said that I could stay with them in Arkansas.

 

I've been around southern Caucasians my whole life an there's a type of way they treat noncaucasians.so when I stayed in Philadelphia, an saw Asian, hispanic, black, white altogether it just felt right.I mean they were racist a it to each other but nothing like here in the south. I aim to save up an get a place there in Philly, maybe off N 7th street where I was staying before. That sense of community an acceptance that I never feel in the southern states , I want that again.

[Taomeow]

Interestingly, I was looking for the antonym to the word "lonely" in English and in Russian the other day, and in neither language it exists. 

 

Newspeak is old...  The fundamental notions that originally couldn't have been anything other than the main definitions of what human life on this planet is about -- belonging to a tribe, being immersed in the life of a group as its organic part -- have been erased from the language and (consequently? simultaneously?) from people's consciousness.  

 

That antonym that does not exist -- that's where life is real.  A small town, a big metropolis, a hermitage -- are all just different versions of its nonexistence IMO.  

 

The main behaviors of all life forms, from amoeba to human, are "seek" and "avoid."  To move somewhere toward avoidance -- of pollution, noise, overall techno-craziness, being severed from nature --  is half the battle.  The other half -- to move somewhere in search of that antonym, toward what so many people don't even realize they ought to seek, due to those artificially created gaps in consciousness -- and to find it --

if someone has a story of this kind of a move, I'm all ears. 

Edited August 12, 2017 by Taomeow

[dwai]

Having lived and grown up in a small indian town (Mysore/Maisuru) till I was 25, and since then, 17 years in the Chicago suburbs (with a year spent in Tampa, Florida) I find that the deeper I dive into the spiritual life, the more I long for the simplicity of my hometown of yore. Albeit, that entity doesn't exist anymore. Rampant "modernization" has robbed it of it's idyllic charms. 

 

Now I long for the Himalayas. I know I'm going to go there eventually. Not sure how I can settle, with a family and all (who rather love the US). But even to have a small place in the mountains where I can run off to and meditate for a few weeks every year would be sufficient for me now.

 

TBH, I don't long for social contact beyond my family and the like-minded (in the sense of fellow cultivators/meditators; who would be harder to find in small towns any way). When I do go off the grid, it'll be to disappear forever.

 

until then, I will dream....

 

http://www.indiatimes.com/culture/travel/19-villages-in-india-so-scenic-you-might-consider-living-there-231084.html

Edited August 12, 2017 by dwai

[Hancock]

4 minutes ago, dwai said:

Having lived and grown up in a small indian town (Mysore/Maisuru) till I was 25, and since then, 17 years in the Chicago suburbs (with a year spent in Tampa, Florida) I find that the deeper I dive into the spiritual life, the more I long for the simplicity of my hometown of yore. Albeit, that entity doesn't exist anymore. Rampant "modernization" has robbed it of it's idyllic charms. 

 

Now I long for the Himalayas. I know I'm going to go there eventually. Not sure how I can settle, with a family and all (who rather love the US). But even to have a small place in the mountains where I can run off to and meditate for a few weeks every year would be sufficient for me now.

 

TBH, I don't long for social contact beyond my family and the like-minded (in the sense of fellow cultivators/meditators; who would be harder to find in small towns any way). When I do go off the grid, it'll be to disappear forever.

Might want to buy or build a homestead someplace, Asheville north Carolina is great for that.lots of different parts of the south have mountains. I live at the foot of a mounTain, there's the road going up it a few houses down. It's got a natural peacefulness in this area of town, stays quiet which is great, except when the train comes thru town. This town is so small you can hear the train all thru it.

 

/ 

18 minutes ago, Taomeow said:

Interestingly, I was looking for the antonym to the word "lonely" in English and in Russian the other day, and in neither language it exists. 

 

Newspeak is old...  The fundamental notions that originally couldn't have been anything other than the main definitions of what human life on this planet is about -- belonging to a tribe, being immersed in the life of a group as its organic part -- have been erased from the language and (consequently? simultaneously?) from people's consciousness.  

 

That antonym that does not exist -- that's where life is real.  A small town, a big metropolis, a hermitage -- are all just different versions of its nonexistence IMO.  

 

The main behaviors of all life forms, from amoeba to human, are "seek" and "avoid."  To move somewhere toward avoidance -- of pollution, noise, overall techno-craziness, being severed from nature --  is half the battle.  The other half -- to move somewhere in search of that antonym, toward what so many people don't even realize they ought to seek, due to those artificially created gaps in consciousness -- and to find it --

if someone has a story of this kind of a move, I'm all ears. 

I'm tireless, I don't fit with Hispanics cause I was raised by cauasians, an don't fit with Caucasian cause I'm not one. I'm awkward in all worlds, an alone describes it better than lonely.

I have noticed though when I went to Philly an hung around other Puerto Ricans, there was an energy that felt like I was part of the tribe, that I fit somehow and that it was okay to be me.

When I moved south, the energy here slowly eroded that other energy away an it feels like a sort of repelling energy. But I noticed from observing that this is a kind of group generated energy, if you belong to a group this energy fills you up an helps you grow stronger. It even gives a sense of purpose an wellbeing to someone compatible with it.

Both the Hispanic and Caucasian group energies have that effect, as well as a sense of inclusiveness, as if the energy-efficient is inviting.

 

I felt it in New Jersey, an followed it, an it led me to a cousin I hadn't seen in years.then I noticed if I flowed it elsewhere, it led me to  others of a similarly ethnic energy. It's weird for sure.

[Taomeow]

@ dwai:  the Himalayas...  well, that's going to be quite a trip! 

 

Please note I never said what I'm after is "social contact," I have plenty of that, and it's not where it's at.  I said "tribal life" -- perhaps I have to give a few examples to explain what that is, at least in the form it existed in some people's consciousness and experience I was part of...

 

Example 1.  When I was in my 20s, I contracted a stubborn infection that required, after all other treatments proved futile, daily trips to the clinic for IV injections for a whole month.  The injections felt weird and scary when done right, and were dangerous in case of imprecision on the part of the nurse -- the substance injected was safe when it hit the bloodstream but would cause necrosis of any muscle tissue on contact if any of it leaked outside the blood vessel, not an uncommon complication with that particular treatment.  However, they were working, so I was tolerating the trips and the daily dose of fear --

 

until I told my friend, an MD, that I have to use a lot of willpower not to panic on a daily basis.  She said, I work with a male nurse, he is so good with injections that no one, even the raging psychotics (my friend was an emergency psychiatrist), can help feeling calm and safe when he administers one.  I'll ask him to come to your house before or after his shift and you'll see, there will be no discomfort and no fear.  So the next day a huge, King-Kong-sized mountain of compassion and kindness knocked on my door, IV kit in hand, and continued to do so for the next three weeks, every day.  And, yes, he was so good that I almost looked forward to his daily visits.

 

Keep in mind that no money was involved and no "I do this for you, and you'll do that for me, or else owe me."  None of that.  Whoever could help, helped.  It was not the exception, it was the norm.  You actually felt bad if you weren't in the position to do something of real value for your friends, not the token make-believe thing like a "thinking of you" postcard from a vacation spot to make them envy your spectacular vacation  (today it's FB more than postcards, of course)...  something of real value, sometimes on obvious levels and sometimes involving intangibles, that required of you to engage your own network of friends and people who would do things, often time-consuming or even bordering on personal sacrifice, for a stranger -- any stranger -- only because a friend asked them to.  You looked for a chance to be of service because it was what you longed to be.  Of real help to your friends.

 

That's tribal life.  Not "social contact." 

Edited August 12, 2017 by Taomeow

[voidisyinyang]

2 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

During the Snowden affair in 2013, while living in Siem Reap, Cambodia, at the Russian restaurant while watching the news, the French, American, English, Australian, and Russian patrons all looked and said, "I guess we all hate each other again" and laughed because we no longer had any special love or attachment to our passport countries nor did we discriminate based on nationality anymore.

 

 

This reminded me of when I was hanging out in a Somalian restaurant in a Somali Mall in Minneapolis - and the t.v. in the top corner of the restaurant was playing the news - CNN - I think claiming that Somalia had Al Qaeda terrorists. A young Somali man got irate and said Somalia doesn't have Al Qaeda terrorists! At the time the Somalians of this mall had a lot of bumper stickers on their cars - get Ethiopia out of Somalia, against the U.S. led and funded Ethiopian invasion of Somalia. The mall was based on the traditional Muslims versus the other Somali Mall in minneapolis that was the U.S. favored Muslims of Mogadishu.

 

And so one day as I was eating some excellent goat cooked by a Somali lady, and I was sitting in a both - a Somali man came up to me and asked me if I was Italian. I said no I was from Minnesota and he said oh because Minnesotans are so conservative none of them ever come into this mall.

 

Indeed the mall is literally surrounded by white so called "liberal" people of Minneapolis but in reality that are too conservative to be even curious about Islamic culture. Hilarious! Then the Arab owners of the mall - the women saw me going into the mall and she tried to kick me out of the mall. I said to her - but I spend $10 a day in this mall! She then let me go on, probably realizing that she would be breaking some law if she kicked me out. haha.

 

But that's what I love about the U.S. is that we have so many refugees from the periphery of the U.S. empire with our 800 military bases in over 80 foreign countries - that you can easily find subcultures.

 

Like when I began practicing qigong I was at the U of MN and so there was a Yan Xin practice group of the Chinese immigrants. And so I was completely new to this, except having experienced Effie P. Chow blow the fuse in the room behind her, and also, reading David Eisenberg's book, etc. but anyway a  Canadian Chinese group came down to lead the Yan Xin practice and asked if anyone felt anything. I got to the microphone and said I felt strong heat in my stomach. I did not know what this meant but the Chinese were very pleased to hear this.

 

So then one of the practice sessions in a University building - the Chinese played a documentary that was all in Chinese - so they had to translate as I and one other white dude watched. It was the official  Chinese government documentary of Yan Xin qigong master - called Yan Xin Superman!

 

Now this documentary is not even on the interwebs but because I was in the U.S. in a Chinese qigong subculture I got to see it. Then the chinese government cracked down on qigong, including Yan Xin, and so there were no more public practice groups. If you did go to a practice group you had to pay money, then take a class for a long time, before you could even then purchase the practice meditation cassette.

 

So a good way to slow down living in the U.S. is to buy an old cheap bicycle and then look for a cheap room to rent in a house - and then start eating out of dumpsters. The U.S. wastes 40% of its food.

 

For example when I went to Chicago to protest against the corporate controlled Democracy Party national convention in 1996 - I stayed with a War Tax Resister - Karl Meyer. So he had to work in the "underground" economy since the I.R.S. would just take all his money from not paying war taxes. And his son was a Rastafarian dude even though his son was white and his son lived off dumpster diving. So in Chicago there is a lot of very valuable material in the dumpsters.

 

Sure it's a "niche" lifestyle - kind of like biodiesel fuel. You could collect used cooking oil from restaurants and make your own gasoline. I have a friend who did this in Minneapolis, but I pointed out to him that biodiesel as an economic alternative in no way could match the energy use of oil - and so he had found a niche solution that was not possible on a larger scale.

 

Similarly - in the U.S. for example when I worked in a Chinese warehouse - I was the only younger white male doing work. So my coworkers did not speak hardly any English - so I got to speak bad Spanish all day. The Chinese were shocked I knew Spanish. One thought I must be Mexican. haha. But then the Chinese were trying to get me to marry the daughter of the owner - actually she was the niece but lived as her daughter. It was kind of complicated - especially when I brought the qigong master who befriended me to heal her real mom who had just come over from China. They were shocked that a big African-American man could be a real qigong master ! http://guidingqi.com and so they joked he must be Cantonese! haha. Hilarious.

 

 

[rene]

Hiya TM!

 

Does an antonym need to be a singular word? What you're describing, imo, is the heart connection.

 

It is where we dwell. (-:

 

1 hour ago, Taomeow said:

Interestingly, I was looking for the antonym to the word "lonely" in English and in Russian the other day, and in neither language it exists.

 

 

[Taomeow]

38 minutes ago, WuDao said:

Hiya TM!

 

Does an antonym need to be a singular word? What you're describing, imo, is the heart connection.

 

It is where we dwell. (-:

 

 

 

Hi WD,

 

Thank you for the idea. 

 

Yes, it has to be a word, just like we have a word for "chair" or "salary" or "headache" -- a word that pretty much means the same thing to most people, rather than being wide open to individual interpretations.  A word  that means

 

the state of being surrounded by people you have a connection to, heart, mind, physical body and hearts and minds and physical bodies they are connected to that are part of your immersion, a presence that is the opposite of the state of being alienated/disconnected from or mutually indifferent to other people.  A default state of being that creates a feeling -- "lonely" is a feeling, not a physical fact (unlike "alone") -- opposite of "lonely," for which the word is absent.  That's because the phenomenon is almost extinct, or not so much "because" as they are two sides of the same coin, the absence of the word and the absence of the phenomenon. 

Edited August 12, 2017 by Taomeow

[Brian]

Interesting.

 

"Unlonely" is a valid if inartful word.  "Befriended" or "loved" can also work.  Lonely is a nuanced word, though, so it has no single antonym but rather many which counter it's various connotations.

[Taomeow]

5 minutes ago, Brian said:

Interesting.

 

"Unlonely" is a valid if inartful word.  "Befriended" or "loved" can also work.  Lonely is a nuanced word, though, so it has no single antonym but rather many which counter it's various connotations.

 

Yes, "lonely" is a nuanced word...  so should be its opposite.  A friend of mine, the one I mentioned earlier in this thread, who lives in Moscow, is one of the most social beings you'll ever meet, but when we had a get-together after not seeing each other for 11 years (meeting up in Europe), she told me that our reunion made her feel "not hollow" again, and cried because she would feel "hollow again" when we parted.  Then, a couple of years later, she found a new lover (she's always had lovers, her husband is a bit of a monster so I don't blame her), and reported back to me that this, finally, was someone with whom, aside from physical intimacy and not contingent on it, she feels "not hollow anymore."  This "hollow" -- "not hollow" feeling -- I know exactly what it is, but for that "not hollow" I also need a word that is a nuance of "unlonely" that does not exist.  

 

I hope people who know Chinese or Japanese might chime in.  I would expect a word for this, a specific word, to still exist in those languages because they are so designed as to preserve their history, and their history is that of "unloneliness" having long been the first and main goal in  people's lives.  Perhaps their notion of "face" in the social sense has something to do with it, but it's far from a complete overlap.  I'll try to ask a Chinese friend and his son who knows some Japanese today when I see them. 

[doc benway]

3 hours ago, Hancock said:

EG, reported me for putting a name in a post and not relating it in anyway to his online persona, then said it wAs because he's a private person...now he's giving his life history. So messed up.

 

He gets to decide what he shares with the group, not you. What's messed up is stalking him in unrelated threads. Let it go.

[Spotless]

3 hours ago, Taomeow said:

Interestingly, I was looking for the antonym to the word "lonely" in English and in Russian the other day, and in neither language it exists. 

 

Newspeak is old...  The fundamental notions that originally couldn't have been anything other than the main definitions of what human life on this planet is about -- belonging to a tribe, being immersed in the life of a group as its organic part -- have been erased from the language and (consequently? simultaneously?) from people's consciousness.  

 

That antonym that does not exist -- that's where life is real.  A small town, a big metropolis, a hermitage -- are all just different versions of its nonexistence IMO.  

 

The main behaviors of all life forms, from amoeba to human, are "seek" and "avoid."  To move somewhere toward avoidance -- of pollution, noise, overall techno-craziness, being severed from nature --  is half the battle.  The other half -- to move somewhere in search of that antonym, toward what so many people don't even realize they ought to seek, due to those artificially created gaps in consciousness -- and to find it --

if someone has a story of this kind of a move, I'm all ears. 

     

Lonely

Pronunciation of Lonely
/lˈə͡ʊnlɪ/, /lˈə‍ʊnlɪ/, /l_ˈəʊ_n_l_ɪ/

Antonyms for lonely:

cheerful,  comforting,  inhabited,  bright, lightsome,  social,  blithesome, heartwarming,  jolly,  linked,  cheery, lighthearted,  jocund, communicating, hopeful, Chaperoned,  merry,  blithe,  festive, adjoining,  neighboring,  buoyant,  next door, sunshiny,  contiguous,  accompanied,  connected,  cordial,  cheering,  elated,  joyful,  attached, optimistic,  joyous, Escorted,  mirthful,  adjacent,  friendly,  attended,  encouraging,  coupled.

[liminal_luke]

TM,

 

I like the word "connected" to describe the opposite of lonely, although it`s admittedly a bit anemic, sorely lacking in the web of cozy connotations we might expect in a truer antonym.

 

....................................................................................................................

 

I`m asking myself if my adopted country of Mexico is a particularly tribal place.  Yes and no, I guess.  My partner thinks it`s odd that I don`t call my mom every single day.  How can I love her and not want to chat every few hours like he does?  When we lived in Zacatecas, where his family lives, a constant barrage of aunts, uncles, and cousins would constantly show up at our door unannounced.  Nobody ever thought to call first.  People were poor and often didn`t have cell phones.  The ones who did have cell phones usually didn`t have saldo, prepaid credit on their phones that would allow them to make outgoing calls.  We could call them, but they couldn`t call us.  That didn`t stop them from trekking way across town to our apartment to get a bite to eat, play games on my partner`s Playstation, and dance karaoke.

 

Another weird thing.  Whenever women would visit us they`d start cleaning our place.  I don`t mean that they`d offer to help do the dishes after a meal, something "normal" like that.  I mean they`d get out the mop and start deep cleaning the kitchen.  It was like having impromptu maid service and made me a bit uncomfortable.  Eventually Jose got me to see that that`s just the way it was and I had better accept it.

 

Even going to university is a tribal experience in Jose`s family.  When his sister can`t finish a paper for her psychology degree, she has Jose write it for her.  He stayed up half the night last night comparing the psychotherapeutic methods of Fritz Perls, Carl Rogers, and Albert Ellis.  I`m embarrassed to admit that I once got into the act too, writing an essay on the humanistic philosophy of Abraham Moslow.  (I got a B+ .) To my way of thinking, this is cheating -- academic dishonesty.  And yet it`s just how things are done, pitching in for each other as need arises.

 

I`ll save my thoughts on how Mexico is not a tribal place for later.

 

LL     

 

 

[nohbody]

I've been living in a cabin on a mountain for 8 months. I feel much more connected to everything and everyone  (when I happen to encounter anyone). No stress and a pension. Life's pretty good. 

[thelerner]

3 hours ago, nohbody said:

I've been living in a cabin on a mountain for 8 months. I feel much more connected to everything and everyone  (when I happen to encounter anyone). No stress and a pension. Life's pretty good. 

If I may ask, and feel free not to respond if you consider it intrusive. 

 

What are the economics of such a life?  Expense wise? 

and pros and cons you've found there (asking in a Thoreau, 'Walden' kind of way)

 

Cause we have people here looking for that, short time and long. 

[Hancock]

4 hours ago, steve said:

 

He gets to decide what he shares with the group, not you. What's messed up is stalking him in unrelated threads. Let it go.

 

[Hancock]

6 hours ago, Taomeow said:

@ dwai:  the Himalayas...  well, that's going to be quite a trip! 

 

Please note I never said what I'm after is "social contact," I have plenty of that, and it's not where it's at.  I said "tribal life" -- perhaps I have to give a few examples to explain what that is, at least in the form it existed in some people's consciousness and experience I was part of...

 

Example 1.  When I was in my 20s, I contracted a stubborn infection that required, after all other treatments proved futile, daily trips to the clinic for IV injections for a whole month.  The injections felt weird and scary when done right, and were dangerous in case of imprecision on the part of the nurse -- the substance injected was safe when it hit the bloodstream but would cause necrosis of any muscle tissue on contact if any of it leaked outside the blood vessel, not an uncommon complication with that particular treatment.  However, they were working, so I was tolerating the trips and the daily dose of fear --

 

until I told my friend, an MD, that I have to use a lot of willpower not to panic on a daily basis.  She said, I work with a male nurse, he is so good with injections that no one, even the raging psychotics (my friend was an emergency psychiatrist), can help feeling calm and safe when he administers one.  I'll ask him to come to your house before or after his shift and you'll see, there will be no discomfort and no fear.  So the next day a huge, King-Kong-sized mountain of compassion and kindness knocked on my door, IV kit in hand, and continued to do so for the next three weeks, every day.  And, yes, he was so good that I almost looked forward to his daily visits.

 

Keep in mind that no money was involved and no "I do this for you, and you'll do that for me, or else owe me."  None of that.  Whoever could help, helped.  It was not the exception, it was the norm.  You actually felt bad if you weren't in the position to do something of real value for your friends, not the token make-believe thing like a "thinking of you" postcard from a vacation spot to make them envy your spectacular vacation  (today it's FB more than postcards, of course)...  something of real value, sometimes on obvious levels and sometimes involving intangibles, that required of you to engage your own network of friends and people who would do things, often time-consuming or even bordering on personal sacrifice, for a stranger -- any stranger -- only because a friend asked them to.  You looked for a chance to be of service because it was what you longed to be.  Of real help to your friends.

 

That's tribal life.  Not "social contact." 

A life where people connect and help each other sounds amazing. Also for the translation thing when u do find a word this might or might not be helpful

Google translate

https://translate.google.com/m/translate

 

 

I just want to add you all have Interesting experiences. Its a pleasure to read through them, like mini stories in a book. Fascinating

Edited August 13, 2017 by Hancock

[Hancock]

46 minutes ago, thelerner said:

If I may ask, and feel free not to respond if you consider it intrusive. 

 

What are the economics of such a life?  Expense wise? 

and pros and cons you've found there (asking in a Thoreau, 'Walden' kind of way)

 

Cause we have people here looking for that, short time and long. 

Need to own the land and cabin, the prices vary, but after that it's less than $200 for monthly costs. Gas an car insurance, some supplies til crops come in. But it's pretty easy to become self sustaining. If everyone pitches in an there's no health issues.

 

Even with a community/tribe, there's plenty to do an art to share an what not. Since you mentioned Thoreau and Walden, ill say I stayed in several communal places, great experiences. But the road she calls to me so it was never more than a year.

[nohbody]

59 minutes ago, thelerner said:

If I may ask, and feel free not to respond if you consider it intrusive. 

 

What are the economics of such a life?  Expense wise? 

and pros and cons you've found there (asking in a Thoreau, 'Walden' kind of way)

 

Cause we have people here looking for that, short time and long. 

 Well,  one way to go about that is to look at resorts "off season" you can get a cabin for several months for a reasonable rate. 

 

I'm fortunate in that I'm serving as a caretaker for  rich elderly folk who can no longer use the property. Wheel and deal and see what you can get is my only advice.  Food and gas is more expensive in rural areas, but internet reaches deep these days. 

 

Best of luck!

Edited August 13, 2017 by nohbody

[dwai]

4 hours ago, Spotless said:

     

Lonely

Pronunciation of Lonely
/lˈə͡ʊnlɪ/, /lˈə‍ʊnlɪ/, /l_ˈəʊ_n_l_ɪ/

Antonyms for lonely:

cheerful,  comforting,  inhabited,  bright, lightsome,  social,  blithesome, heartwarming,  jolly,  linked,  cheery, lighthearted,  jocund, communicating, hopeful, Chaperoned,  merry,  blithe,  festive, adjoining,  neighboring,  buoyant,  next door, sunshiny,  contiguous,  accompanied,  connected,  cordial,  cheering,  elated,  joyful,  attached, optimistic,  joyous, Escorted,  mirthful,  adjacent,  friendly,  attended,  encouraging,  coupled.

I prefer "fulfilled" 

[liminal_luke]

There`s a lot to be said for moving, say from the US, to a cheaper country.  And also some important downsides.  If you move to a really cheap country, you`ll likely end up being someone with much more money than the people who were born there.  That can set up some dynamics you may not want.  Your money might become your most salient feature in their eyes.  They might start to think of you in terms of how you can benefit them economically.  Things get tricky.

 

I remember talking to this middle-aged guy I was sitting next to on a long-distance busride through Oaxaca.  He mentioned that he was a farmer, and I asked him how he liked that.  I don`t think that was a question he got asked much.  He told me that was the only thing to be, his own possibility.  Why pause to wonder whether you like something or not when it`s your only option?  

 

I`m sure I could of rented an apartment in his village for cheap, but what would my social life be like?  The people there are likely wonderful folks who have close relationships with each other.  They`d just have a hard time relating to someone like me, and vice versa.  (Hope I`m not coming off like a jerk; just my experience.)